My grandmother once told me this: “Never. And I mean never let anyone get comfortable with abusing and mistreating you.”
She was right. By the time she gave me that little gold nugget of wisdom, it was already too late. I was in high school and had been a target of bullying since moving to *Oakley School District in the sixth grade. But right then, I understood what my very wise grandmother meant and why she gave me that advice.
Here’s what Uma (what I called my maternal grandmother) had already known by being a people-watcher and very good at people-reading:
Once the mistreatment of a person has gone on for so long, the people around them get comfortable with mistreating that person. They grow so accustomed to being cruel to the person that they don’t even think about, nor do they care about how they hurt that person. Even worse, they come to expect the target the take the abuse without question, without talking back, speaking about it, and without defending themselves.
Put another way, if a target firmly stands up to bad treatment in the early stages of being targeted, it’s more likely that others will respect his right to be treated well and either leave him alone or began treating him better.
Whereas, if the target lets the bullying go on for a long time, then begins to stand up for himself after getting fed up with being everyone’s doormat, others will more than likely be only angry and resentful of the person for daring to open his mouth about it. They will then double down in their abuse or eliminate him somehow.
Once a person gets comfortable in mistreating you, it’s much more difficult to fight. Therefore, always speak out the moment the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.
Yes! I deal with bullying customers the same way. Straight away…
And you should! Good going for standing up to those bullies! 💖👍
It starts with low level bullying because then they know who to target.
Absolutely it does. They start small to see what they can get away with.
According to your understanding, what made you a target of bullies?
I was different- I had been an Army Brat and didn’t grow up in the town I was bullied in. I didn’t think like they did.
Yeah! But what’s important is to never let bullies keep you down.
You got it! 💯
My hope for the future is that curriculae are reformed to include teaching empathy and how to spot the signs of narcissism at an early age,
That’s exactly my hope too, Jen. 💯🎯👍
That’s a very good point.
Thank you so much, Sara! 😊 💖💐🌹
I just gave our five-year-old similar advice about a classmate. “My grandmother once told me this: “Never. And I mean never let anyone get comfortable with abusing and mistreating you.”
That’s awesome, Tangie. You did right, sweetie! 😊💖🙏