More on Dealing with Catty Women and Girls

cat fight

Not long ago, I created a post entitled “Catty Women and Girls.” In it I described these females, pointing out their toxic personalities, their attitudes, their tactics to bring other women down, and the sickening vibes they put out into the universe.

A commenter on the post, Petrina, made the perfect point when she quoted in her comment:

“…If a woman knows her worth, she won’t be like this. If a woman does not make an idol out of men, she won’t see other women as such a threat. Much of women’s cattiness revolves around the fact that they feel threatened that their idols (men) are going to find other women attractive and prefer them. These types of insecure women are falsely validated by men’s attention….”

Petrina’s words really drive the point home and I thank her for her comment!

Cattiness in Women Comes from One Thing- Fear and Insecurity!

What makes these fraulines so dirty and trifling can be summed up in one word:

Fear!

Again, if these poor things had a modicum of self-esteem, confidence- any security whatsoever in themselves as women, they wouldn’t need to walk around with such funky attitudes and making trouble for others. They would not feel the need to compare themselves to another woman. They would not be hating on women they feel have lives that are so much better than theirs.

If these women were genuinely happy with their lives and knew their worth, they wouldn’t be so obsessively jealous.  Catty women are insanely jealous of women who have their lives in order and everything going for them.

Women who are catty are usually women who are hungry for attention, especially male attention. They are the kind of girls you see humiliating themselves by chasing and throwing themselves at men in bars or at parties.

Understand that their snooty demeanors alone reveal so much about them. And the sad thing is that they are totally oblivious to it. These toxic broads are under the delusion that their snotty behavior makes them look powerful and goddess-like. They believe that walking around with their noses in the air and upper lip snarled like a dog is cute.

Catty Women are Thirsty!

And yes, there are people, especially guys, who are attracted to that kind of behavior in girls. It’s true that every day, you see many men fall all over themselves to get close to these bitchy fem-fatales. However, you have to consider that these guys are usually those who have no self-esteem nor self-respect. Because the maneaters they’re desperately trying to get next to will only chew them up and spit them back out!

Yes, they may look like and put on the facade of the alpha male, but, under the surface, they’re only beta males who are insecure and have serious doubts of their own masculinity.

If the wannabe alpha guys who dig these broads were cars, they would be shiny, flashy muscle-cars that look sharp and fast on the outside but would be total wrecks under the hoods and wouldn’t make it out of the driveway before sputtering out and breaking down. Otherwise, they would not be such gluttons for punishment. They wouldn’t bow down to these shrews, kiss their behinds, and become, for lack of a better term, “whipped.”

A guy with any self-esteem, self-respect, or common sense, would have nothing to do with these self-absorbed, egotistical twits. After all, they only have the power others give them.

Oh, but wait! This also says something else!

Any quality woman- a woman who is worth her salt- desires a partner she can respect, not some spineless wimp she can walk on. And men of quality desire a quality woman of strength they too can respect and who respects them back.

And when a catty, insecure woman has her partner, or other guys groveling at her feet, it says one of either two things about her:

A. She is a controlling, domineering shrew who’s fearful of a strong, secure, self-respecting partner and would actually prefer a man who’s a sniveling weakling she can keep under the heel of her high-heeled shoe.

Or

B. A strong, secure, and self-respecting man of quality would never in this lifetime have her nor even consider her! Ouch!

A real woman, one who knows there’s no need to act catty to prove anything to anyone, will be successful in achieving a relationship with a quality partner she can respect and who respects her back. This is a girl who will never get into a relationship with anyone she cannot respect. For love to take place, there must first be respect!

Catty Women are Fearful of Strong, Secure, Self-Respecting Men

In contrast, women of the catty variety are fearful women. They fear being outshone or outdone. They are to be pitied because they are truly pathetic.

They’re only beta-females who, by their actions and behavior, reduce themselves to the lowest common denominator. Sadly, these women are many- they’re a dime a dozen. But women who are confident and have their mental stuff together are few. They’re rare. And anything that is rare is and always will be of higher value.  Many would deem it priceless. The Laws of Scarcity dictates this.

Therefore, if you are one of those rare and special women and it seems that so many other females are working like the devil to bring you down, know that they are already beneath you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t expend so much effort to tear you apart and bring you to their level.

Always remember that because you are rare, you hold more value than your mean girl bullies ever will. Believe that with every fiber of your being!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Dealing with Catty Women and Girls

Sadly, we have so many women who are jealous of other women. They seek to tear another woman down if she dares to be too pretty, too smart, too rich, too talented, too anything positive.

You’ll have a clique of queen bees and mean girls at school or work, and they’ll see another woman outside their little group who is happy with her life. She’s confident and strong. She knows who she is and what she wants. This woman may be successful at her job or have a huge bank account. She may be talented, smart, have a good family life, or gasp! All of the above.

Do you think that they’ll be happy for a fellow female who managed to defy the odds? Will these women want to learn from her or see her as a role model? Do you think they will look up to her?

Most Females May Act Like They Support Other Women. But Do They Really?

No chance. They will only hate her and wish for her downfall. These vixens will want to tear her to pieces. They will plot against her and try to sabotage whatever success she has. It’s both sad and pathetic!

Understand that the reason these women are so catty is because they’re highly insecure in themselves. They subconsciously see themselves as inferior to any woman who’s got her shit together. So, they’ll do everything they possibly can to pull her down to their level.

Also, if a catty woman has a husband with a roving eye, look out if you’re the woman in his sights! Because she won’t lay into her hubby with the wandering eyes. No. She will come after you! And with a vengeance!

Catty women are mostly the passive-aggressive types and if you’re in their line of fire, you’ll feel their eyes bore into you like a needle. You’ll pick up the sickening vibrations these girls put off. Also, you’ll feel the negative energy they exude grip you and try to squeeze the life out of you. And these females will almost seem demonic- as if they’re possessed with an evil spirit.

If You Become the Target of Catty Women, BEWARE!

These shrews will try to get information from you. Moreover, they’ll pump your friends, associates, even your family members for information about you.

They’ll warn everyone who will listen not to associate with you and try to damage your good relationships. They will also sabotage your job prospects, invade your privacy and snoop through your office and sometimes even your belongings, to find anything they can use against you.

Some may even stalk you to find out where you live and who your family members are. Understand that these women see you as an adversary- someone they must compete with. Your success causes them to compare themselves to you and question their own achievements and overall value as women.

They hate you because they think you have it better than them. You can hear the venom in their voices and sense the poison in their minds. You see clearly the ignorance in their attitudes. Also, you’ll observe their huffy impatience and haughty demeanors.

If they ever sink their claws into you, they’ll never let go. You’re the enemy– the usurper of their perceived girl-code, and they have an evil laser focus on you.

Women and Girls can be Worse Bullies Than Men and Boys

These girls strut around the school, workplace, or community with funky dispositions and their noses turned up. They have their upper lips raised in contempt, eyes blazing under those fake eyelashes, and eyebrows narrowed. Overall, they have snooty and snotty attitudes.

And the woman I mentioned earlier? The one with the ogling husband? Should it be any wonder the guy has a roving eye?

You must realize that these women are miserable human beings, and they suck the oxygen out of every room they walk into. They are to be pitied and dismissed, not hated. Avoid them and have nothing to do with them, not only for your sanity, but your overall safety. And the further away you get from these hussies, the better.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Who Tattle on Their Targets

Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales. And they often tattle on their targets for even the tiniest of infractions. If it so happens, they cannot find anything to tell on their targets about, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will make sure it’s something believable.

These bullies watch their targets closely, waiting with bated breath for the target to do or say something- anything that even smacks of being outside the category of right. They then run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager.

How noble these bullies must feel, sitting on their moral high ground, working as little gestapos. Moreover, they feel entitled to ensure that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

The reality is that everyone, other than the target, is free to do as they wish. They only do these things to their targets. Why? To keep them from being able to defend themselves or report bullying.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying, all your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported. After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker and rule-breaker?

Also, if enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many people pointing the finger at you?” Right?

It’s Like a Game of Chess, Bullies are Setting Everything Up Against You

Besides, in tattling on you or telling lies about you, these bullies are setting up a system where you will be discredited. In that, they’ll render you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it. Tattling is also a way to silence you.  Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’re more likely to find it easier and less painful just to keep your mouth shut.

Remember that bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Because, once you’re completely powerless, they’ll bully you openly and in plain sight.

Besides, who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a rebel-rouser, a riffraff! And people aren’t bullying you, they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

Bullies and everyone else-good. Target-bad! You’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. They serve as the extra pairs of eyes that the staff need because the staff can’t be everywhere at once. They’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

Tattling is a technique to eventually block the target from any help they’ll need and otherwise receive.

Afterwards, when the damage is done, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in taking away your power and ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior, and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly, and the bullies be virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic, and the better you’ll protect yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies, Groupthink and Fakery

followers sheep

Excessive groupthink was the accepted norm for Oakley High School and at one workplace I was employed in. In high school, most students and a few teachers shared this toxic group behavior. In the workplace, it went from top to bottom.

A moderate amount of groupthink is only human nature because it’s how we conform to rules and laws. Also, it provides stability for a community. However, excessive groupthink is unhealthy.  It’s how cults, dictatorships, and totalitarian states get started.

An example of groupthink is, “if everyone else is doing it, I want to do it too.” It’s herd mentality at play.

When there’s a culture of bullying in a school or in a workplace, people who would not typically bully, will. And they’ll do it simply because everyone does it, and think they should get in on it also. It certainly was the case at *Oakley High School years ago and later at *Oakley Rehab and Living Center.

followers

Therefore, from time to time, people you thought were friends would suddenly and without warning turn on you. And they will do it to jump on the bandwagon and join everyone else. Even they want to feel like one of the big guys.

Why Not? Everybody Else is Bullying Her?

There are several names for this, two of which are Social Contagion and Peer Pressure.

Now I understand that most of my classmates and later, coworkers were followers, drones, slaves! The student body of Oakley High School, sadly, was one big herd of sheep. They were slaves to the prospect of getting in good with “one of the cool kids” or  “the ‘Good Ole Boy” network.

bootlicker suck-up kiss ass kiss butt

My bullies were nothing but two-faced hypocrites. They talked out both sides of their mouths, holding certain others to a double standard. All the while, they pretended to be someone they never were and never could be. Authenticity, being yourself, and free thought and expression were all punishable offenses. Everything was about appearances and whose butt they wanted to kiss to move up the social ladder

I would watch as most of my bullies pathetically sucked up to people they secretly couldn’t stand because they thought it would score them brownie points.  And often, it would.

I also watched bullies who were second in power take plenty of degradation from the bullies at the top to fit in and look popular.

Hypocrites Abound

bootlicker suck-up kiss ass kiss butt

One such person was someone I knew who was the son of one of the teachers.
Very few of the so-called cool kids liked this wuss, yet he would lick their boots hungrily to get the so-called privilege of hanging with them. It didn’t matter to him if they were only tolerating him.

It was so pathetic I couldn’t hate the boy. All I could do was pity him.

On other occasions, I would see one of the popular girls drop a textbook, a pencil, anything. I would then watch the kids around her scramble, some taking a nosedive to the floor to pick it up for her and laugh as I walked by.

Whoever put on the best possible and most convincing front was rewarded not only by the other classmates but many of the teachers and school staff as well. I realize now that there was a reason behind all the fake sympathy, bogus compliments and, incessant butt-kissing. It was so they could get something from the higher-ups and not because they liked or respected them.

False flattery and opinion conformity in school and at work, made the bullies puffed up and overconfident. Also, it yielded immense social benefits for all the wannabes. Therefore, they maintained the status quo of ritualistic bullying of only kids or coworkers in particular.

Many of my classmates and coworkers were narcissistic sociopaths with low self-esteem. They were like tires with slow leaks. Their followers had to continuously air them up with fake compliments and false admiration to keep them from going flat!

groupthink

Boot-Licking for Approval

Thirsty for attention and praise, the bullies at the top only surrounded themselves with weak wannabes. They needed bootlickers and yes-people to feed their hungry egos by telling them what they wanted to hear. And everyone, except a few, was more than happy to do so if it awarded them high popularity and favors.

The higher-ups expected you to think like them, dress like them, be like them and agree with them. Conversely, the people who did their own thing, who were happy being themselves, and didn’t act or think like the flock became targets.

But real life did eventually come around to the top dogs in high school. Once we were all graduated, the so-called preppies (bullies) got a taste of the real world, many of them got a rude awakening.

They were no longer the big dogs and had to start at the bottom, which was a terrible blow to their fragile egos. They learned the hard way that the real world doesn’t care who you are. Real life isn’t concerned with whether you made the “Who’s Who” section of your high school yearbook. The real world only cares whether you can contribute to it. And sadly, most of the punks I went to school with haven’t brought a damn thing to the table of life.

In fact, many of them either became criminals or bred them.

Meeting the Real World

Followers and sheep

Fitting in leads to a life of mediocrity. Standing out, on the other hand, is a prerequisite of greatness!

So, if your classmates or coworkers are bullying you, know that you are the brave one. Why? Because you refuse to follow the herd or resort to pathetic fakery to get approval!

You continue to be your authentic self and embrace your uniqueness, flaws, and all. You’re at the head of the class because you are true to your own heart, your own beliefs, and your convictions. You refuse to let them mold you into what they think you ought to be. You stand out from the rest, and one day, it’s all going to pay off! Wait and see!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Trapped in a Toxic Environment

Like an animal in a cage,

Poked, prodded,

Feeling others’ rage,

Trapped,

There’s no escape,

From the toxic hate,

Bystanders content to follow,

The bullies like sheeple,

Poison you must swallow,

From bullies and fake people,

No chance of flight

Doors slammed shut and locked,

You must prepare to fight,

Because all exits are blocked,

Nowhere to go,

Life tells you no,

Cornered like a frightened dog,

With other’s issues you’re bogged,

Between a rock and hard place,

You must stare them in the face,

There’s no escape,

From the hate,

In a toxic environment,

Where everyone is violent

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Foolishness

Although healthy, forgiveness doesn’t mean you think what they did to you was okay. Far from it. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind. It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

Sadly, too may people think that forgiveness means that you must become buddy-buddy with the person and have something to do with them. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt. Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse because they take for granted that you’ll always be okay with it.

Understand that forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with the person who did you wrong. It doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool. You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good. Toxic people are dead weight and though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Because these people have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving, yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. However, if you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they will only continue to take advantage of you. You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them but there’s no law that says you have to trust them again. It’s better that you don’t trust them.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Life Begins When We Stop Seeking Approval

Sadly, many targets of bullying seek approval from others. Often, the people they seek approval, validation, and acceptance from are mostly people who absolutely could care less about them. Even worse, those many targets seek approval from are their bullies-  people who have absolutely zero respect for them. Counterproductive, no?

What targets don’t realize is that most others’ opinions have absolutely no bearing on their lives. Yuck!

If you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:

If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?

Who are they that I must impress?

Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?

Who are they that I have to lie?

Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?

Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?

Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry. And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval. Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing. Never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you. Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation, approval, or acceptance from another person, you short change yourself.  Realize that a bully will never add value or benefit to your life. Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

You Don’t Need the Approval of Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy

Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed. And their opinions need not apply. If anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules and standards on you, especially if they aren’t your parents, or a well-meaning teacher or supervisor, you have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to tell that person to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

Understand that you only give these creeps something they haven’t earned, don’t deserve, and have no business having- you give them your power! You give them your freedom!

You give them control over your life! The above are things they have no right to and that are yours and yours alone, and these precious commodities are those they will only exploit, use, and abuse.

But once you take them back by ceasing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring about their opinions and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy? I do.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Most Bullies are Fakers and Posers

During high school, I can’t count the classmates who were posers and fakers. My guess was that these posers accounted for at least half of the class. It shouldn’t be surprising that in high school, everything is based on appearances. Therefore, those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the ones who are bullies and usually, most popular.

However, most high school kids don’t pay attention to detail. Thankfully, I was one of the few who did.

In the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. Yet, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Cheap Wallets and Knock-off Handbags

Also, the girls in the clique would wear their high-fashion clothes. However, cheap, knock-off “Gucci” handbags would be hanging from their shoulders and arms. If you paid close attention and had an eye for detail, you could tell by the stitching patterns and thread counts, that these purses were fake.

All through the school, you would see the fake gold, Rolex watches. They also wore faux fur and suede, cheap costume jewelry, and fake leather and snakeskin. It was laughable at best!

Just to be clear, I have no qualms with anyone who has these items. Heck, they may like them. However, when you’re a bully and you buy these knock-offs to look like you’re rolling in money, you only look ridiculous. And you get no respect. Sorry.

In contrast, most targets of these bullies don’t feel like they need to have all that fake crap, yet they’re the ones bullied.

Targets, You’re Better Than That, and They Know It

You may still be wondering what the point to this story is. The point is that, if you’re a target, your bullies will most likely bully you over your virtues, not your faults. Also, they will project their fakery and insecurities onto you.

In short, people who are authentic and real- who are comfortable with being themselves, are those most likely to suffer bullying. It’s just a fact of this crazy world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because you’re doing something right. And it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

Most posers bully others because they’re angry that they must work so hard at being fake and they’re jealous of anyone who doesn’t. Therefore, your self-esteem should soar when you realize this fundamental truth. Posers hate and bully authentic people because they are complete opposite of them.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Behind the Bullies’ Most Vicious Attacks

A crowd of people surrounded the red man. Accusation of crime, mob law over a person, lynch court. The leader in the center of the crowd, the leader, an example for diving. Angry crowd

The subconscious mind is a funny thing. And when we call out the deplorable behavior of bullies, their knee-jerk reaction is to get highly defensive. These people panic! They get irate, raise their voices, scream, curse, and call you the most horrible names in the English language. Even worse, some bullies get physically violent. Have you ever wondered why?

It’s because, in the deepest parts of their subconscious minds, the bullies know they are wrong. However, they were counting on your silence to shield them from exposure and accountability. They didn’t get that from you (your silence).

No. You called the bullies out in public. You put them on blast- exposed them naked before the rest of the class, school, workplace, or community. Now, the bullies must put in a lot of extra work in order to do damage control.

You had to open your mouth. You challenged the bullies’ (perceived) authority. Having the gall to defend yourself,  you refused to be controlled (Gasp! How dare you!). And now, your bullies are scared to death. But more than that, they’re furious, and they’re out for blood this time. And you can be sure that your bullies’ fury has roots- and those roots are fear!

Bullying. Marginalized child. Concept illustration. Scene shows a child suffering harassment and marginalization from other children.

When bullies attack you the fiercest, that’s when you know they’re scared to death!

Think of it this way. When a warplane is over it’s target, that’s when the battle is at it’s absolutely worst. All at once, every anti-aircraft gun around ground zero unloads their full firepower on the plane. The enemy releases a fury unlike any other. Why? Because the plane is too close! And the closer to the target the plane gets, the worse the battle will rage.

It’s the same with bullies. When they know that you’re right over the mark and that you’re exposing them. They panic! Because they’re afraid that their skeletons just might come out to play and, boy! Do they come unglued and launch an attack like you’ve never seen! That’s when you know you’ve got your bullies figured out.

And when people get scared, they get desperate! And when people get desperate, they get crazy- they can even get dangerous!

Bullies know what happens if they are exposed. They risk losing face, then ultimately, losing power!

The second most common fear your bullies have is that you just might reach success of some kind and threaten their sense of superiority. Why, because, again, your success may help shine the light on the bullies’ own failures and shortcomings. It may cause others to compare the bullies to you and they just might figure out that the bullies aren’t so hot after all and that you aren’t so weak, dumb, and unimportant after all.

Therefore, again, anytime it seems that your bullies are attacking you the hardest and the most frequently- anytime the bullying you suffer is at it’s absolute worst- it’s usually because you’re onto something.

With knowledge comes power!

That Block Button is There for a Reason

Here’s a truth you might not like to read or hear. Not everyone on your social media friends list is your friend. Therefore, it doesn’t matter who you are. Everyone has at least one snoop on their friends list- people who are only there to watch you.

Snoops are really just another brand of cyber-stalker because they’re on your friends list.

I have them, you have them, we all have them. There will be people who send you friend requests, or people you think are friends who accept yours. Next, three months, six months, maybe a year or more goes by and you won’t get as much as a like from them, much less a comment.

When the new friend makes no attempt to interact with you, you soon forget about the person. And you focus on the people who interact with you the most.

However, suddenly, wham! You get the first comment from them. And it’s laced with vitriol and vulgarity, blasting you because you posted something they didn’t like. Again, understand that snoops, as I like to call them, friend you, then constantly clock your page. They wait with bated breath for you to post something that gives them an excuse to flame you.

Are They Friends or Snoops?

However, look at it this way. This person has now showed you their true colors. They were never your friend but were only there to keep an eye on your posts and interactions.

Realize that your social media page is your digital real estate. It’s your domain. And you have every right to post what you want on your page if it isn’t hateful or violent. Furthermore, if some lowlife blasts you for any reason, then you must unfriend and block.

Understand that this is about setting boundaries. And, if you don’t set boundaries, you can bet that others will notice and think they can troll you too.

People put entirely too much importance on likes, followers and friends. But that’s for another post.

However, lack of engagement is one of the major warning signs that the new friend is a snoop. Another reg flag is when they attack you for something you post. Sadly, we live in a society in which people pick even the most innocent things apart and twist it into something to gripe about.

All the more reason why you should not be afraid to use that block button. You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings. And you must stop worrying about the number of friends on your friends list.

Quality is much more important than quantity. Just because you have five thousand friends on your list doesn’t mean they’re worth having. Always remember that.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Feeding Frenzy

About 200 beasts hungrily stood in line to get their pound of flesh.
The first time they saw me they envisioned meat so succulent and fresh.

As they rooted and feasted on my frail body they locked their jaws so rough.
The bloody, meaty pieces were so addictive they couldn’t get enough.

With bottomless pits, they came back for more, more, and more still.
No matter how much flesh they took, they could never get their fill.

As they looked at me from their desks with fire and brimstine in their eyes.
They salivated, smacking their lips and licking their chops and they did rise.

To the occasion.
In anticipation.

Their eyes narrowed into little slits as they bore their stained-pink teeth at me.
But although they’d sink them deeper into my jugular, my death wasn’t to be.

They smelled the fear and lusted after my blood as they anticipated.
This wolf pack stayed ravenous and were never close to satiated.

The brutal kill and resulting feast they desired but could never quite attain.
Because they could never be satisfied with even the maximum amount of pain.

These vampires, they desired to suck the lifeblood from my body until there was no more left.
Only of my life-giving blood, they could never quite leave me bereft.

So they couldn’t resist nor get enough of it’s sweet but metallic taste.
They couldn’t rip and tear severely enough, so their energy they’d only waste.

They couldn’t get enough of the deliciousness of the raw meat of power.
So in their discontent they’d sit and in bitterness they would glower.

While grinding their boot heels into the back of my neck.
In their evil favor, they had to work feverishly to stack the deck.

But surprise, I survived and my body’s gaping wounds did close and heal.
My precious life’s blood those vampires could never completely steal.

I finally escaped my evil predators and began to grow stronger.
Under their dirty, nasty, grubby paws I remained trapped no longer.

The near-fatal, bleeding wounds they inflicted soon turned to scars.
But you see? The scars bullies inflict can help you reach the stars.

Responding to Non-Verbal Bullying

If someone wants to harm you, they don’t have to come out and tell you. Just the same, if they want you gone, they needn’t tell you to “get the hell out.”

All they must do is glare at you and hope they can either intimidate you into leaving, or make you think you’re about to get hurt. In a case like this, the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Worse even, others might feel the animosity between you and personal history may ruin an otherwise good day.

So, you’re a target and you’re at a party or get-together, and suddenly, you see your bully across the room. Your eyes lock and she sends you a threatening glare. She is giving you the message that she intends to make your day a really bad one. You have choices. Either you can turn tail and run, or you can spend the rest of the day avoiding the bully.

Again, how you handle it is your choice.

But wait! Here’s another choice- a better choice! You can smile at the bully, nod your head, then turn your back to her. If you want to be a smart alick, add a wave.

Therefore, you will non-verbally send your own message back to your bully, one that is very clear. You signal that she doesn’t scare you and that you have no intentions of running. Instead, you intend to stay and enjoy yourself with the other people at the shindig. And you will do this whether the bully likes it or not.

Ouch! This is not the response your bully expected!

In that, you’ve responded to the bully without being aggressive or capitulating to their silent demands that you either cower or leave.

Understand that bullies use nonverbal means to not only send you a cruel message, but also to make their bullying less obvious to anyone else but you. Therefore, it’s better not to respond to nonverbal bullying with words. Instead, reflect your own nonverbals back to the bully that signal that you aren’t afraid of her.

Again, nonverbal bullying requires a response that is also nonverbal. And your response should say that you will not cower or run. Instead, you will stick around, ignore the bully, and do your thing.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Reasons to Leave a Toxic Environment

A Positive Environment

When we’re in the right environment, one that is accepting, loving, and nurturing, we not only survive, but we also thrive. We can grow and flourish.

Therefore, in a positive environment, under the right conditions, we feel free to be ourselves. We can express our own ideas and opinions without fear. Also, we can feel safe and secure. We can be confident and build positive relationships with others. This gives us the freedom to be creative and show our talents.

The people around us encourage and support us. They are cooperative and give us the freedom to be and do. Most importantly, they nudge and push us to be our best. This is the kind of environment that nurtures our souls.

Whereas, in the wrong environment, one that is toxic, oppressive, restrictive, and harmful, we may only survive. We may only squeeze by. Instead of grow, we only stagnate, or worse, regress. Instead of flourish, we only wither.

A Toxic Environment

In a toxic environment, under terrible conditions, we aren’t free. We’re only prisoners, slaves, and victims.

Furthermore, humans need more than just food and water to survive, which means they also need positivity from their environments. They need positive people around them.  Also, human beings need diverse experiences instead of sameness.

Sadly, a toxic, bullying environment only promotes sameness. It doesn’t tolerate any form of diversity because it loathes anything different. Environmental stimuli have a huge impact on our psyches and social interactions. It can make us bitter or better. Our environments can cause progression or regression.

Therefore, it is so important that, if you find yourself in an environment that sucks the oxygen out of you, you must remove yourself from it. Though it may not always be easy to do, it’s a must if you want to salvage your self-esteem and mental health. In doing so, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. Also, you will save yourself months of recovery.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The-Not-Being-Able-To-Like-Any-Blogs-Saga-Continues! – Episode 3 — Tiny Life

Why Me? May 1st: Why is this insane issue continuing? Dear WordPress representative, I am receiving notices from WordPress: “ Congrats! Tiny Life is getting noticed.” while I’m still unable to like any blogs! This situation is schizophrenic! Please take the necessary measures to reinstate my capacity to like blogs! Sincerely, Alessandra Scarpulla Hello, I’m still being punished for […]

The-Not-Being-Able-To-Like-Any-Blogs-Saga-Continues! – Episode 3 — Tiny Life
Here’s another blogger who is in the same predicament as I. She has been flagged and doesn’t know when the Lords of WordPress plan to remove the flag. Know that I’m with you, Alessandra! God bless you, sweetie! 💖And we will never give up blogging. We will fight the good fight.