Month: September 2022

More on Dealing with Catty Women and Girls

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cat fight

Not long ago, I created a post entitled “Catty Women and Girls.” In it I described these females, pointing out their toxic personalities, their attitudes, their tactics to bring other women down, and the sickening vibes they put out into the universe.

A commenter on the post, Petrina, made the perfect point when she quoted in her comment:

“…If a woman knows her worth, she won’t be like this. If a woman does not make an idol out of men, she won’t see other women as such a threat. Much of women’s cattiness revolves around the fact that they feel threatened that their idols (men) are going to find other women attractive and prefer them. These types of insecure women are falsely validated by men’s attention….”

Petrina’s words really drive the point home and I thank her for her comment!

Cattiness in Women Comes from One Thing- Fear and Insecurity!

What makes these fraulines so dirty and trifling can be summed up in one word:

Fear!

Again, if these poor things had a modicum of self-esteem, confidence- any security whatsoever in themselves as women, they wouldn’t need to walk around with such funky attitudes and making trouble for others. They would not feel the need to compare themselves to another woman. They would not be hating on women they feel have lives that are so much better than theirs.

If these women were genuinely happy with their lives and knew their worth, they wouldn’t be so obsessively jealous.  Catty women are insanely jealous of women who have their lives in order and everything going for them.

Women who are catty are usually women who are hungry for attention, especially male attention. They are the kind of girls you see humiliating themselves by chasing and throwing themselves at men in bars or at parties.

Understand that their snooty demeanors alone reveal so much about them. And the sad thing is that they are totally oblivious to it. These toxic broads are under the delusion that their snotty behavior makes them look powerful and goddess-like. They believe that walking around with their noses in the air and upper lip snarled like a dog is cute.

Catty Women are Thirsty!

And yes, there are people, especially guys, who are attracted to that kind of behavior in girls. It’s true that every day, you see many men fall all over themselves to get close to these bitchy fem-fatales. However, you have to consider that these guys are usually those who have no self-esteem nor self-respect. Because the maneaters they’re desperately trying to get next to will only chew them up and spit them back out!

Yes, they may look like and put on the facade of the alpha male, but, under the surface, they’re only beta males who are insecure and have serious doubts of their own masculinity.

If the wannabe alpha guys who dig these broads were cars, they would be shiny, flashy muscle-cars that look sharp and fast on the outside but would be total wrecks under the hoods and wouldn’t make it out of the driveway before sputtering out and breaking down. Otherwise, they would not be such gluttons for punishment. They wouldn’t bow down to these shrews, kiss their behinds, and become, for lack of a better term, “whipped.”

A guy with any self-esteem, self-respect, or common sense, would have nothing to do with these self-absorbed, egotistical twits. After all, they only have the power others give them.

Oh, but wait! This also says something else!

Any quality woman- a woman who is worth her salt- desires a partner she can respect, not some spineless wimp she can walk on. And men of quality desire a quality woman of strength they too can respect and who respects them back.

And when a catty, insecure woman has her partner, or other guys groveling at her feet, it says one of either two things about her:

A. She is a controlling, domineering shrew who’s fearful of a strong, secure, self-respecting partner and would actually prefer a man who’s a sniveling weakling she can keep under the heel of her high-heeled shoe.

Or

B. A strong, secure, and self-respecting man of quality would never in this lifetime have her nor even consider her! Ouch!

A real woman, one who knows there’s no need to act catty to prove anything to anyone, will be successful in achieving a relationship with a quality partner she can respect and who respects her back. This is a girl who will never get into a relationship with anyone she cannot respect. For love to take place, there must first be respect!

Catty Women are Fearful of Strong, Secure, Self-Respecting Men

In contrast, women of the catty variety are fearful women. They fear being outshone or outdone. They are to be pitied because they are truly pathetic.

They’re only beta-females who, by their actions and behavior, reduce themselves to the lowest common denominator. Sadly, these women are many- they’re a dime a dozen. But women who are confident and have their mental stuff together are few. They’re rare. And anything that is rare is and always will be of higher value.  Many would deem it priceless. The Laws of Scarcity dictates this.

Therefore, if you are one of those rare and special women and it seems that so many other females are working like the devil to bring you down, know that they are already beneath you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t expend so much effort to tear you apart and bring you to their level.

Always remember that because you are rare, you hold more value than your mean girl bullies ever will. Believe that with every fiber of your being!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Dealing with Catty Women and Girls

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Sadly, we have so many women who are jealous of other women. They seek to tear another woman down if she dares to be too pretty, too smart, too rich, too talented, too anything positive.

You’ll have a clique of queen bees and mean girls at school or work, and they’ll see another woman outside their little group who is happy with her life. She’s confident and strong. She knows who she is and what she wants. This woman may be successful at her job or have a huge bank account. She may be talented, smart, have a good family life, or gasp! All of the above.

Do you think that they’ll be happy for a fellow female who managed to defy the odds? Will these women want to learn from her or see her as a role model? Do you think they will look up to her?

Most Females May Act Like They Support Other Women. But Do They Really?

No chance. They will only hate her and wish for her downfall. These vixens will want to tear her to pieces. They will plot against her and try to sabotage whatever success she has. It’s both sad and pathetic!

Understand that the reason these women are so catty is because they’re highly insecure in themselves. They subconsciously see themselves as inferior to any woman who’s got her shit together. So, they’ll do everything they possibly can to pull her down to their level.

Also, if a catty woman has a husband with a roving eye, look out if you’re the woman in his sights! Because she won’t lay into her hubby with the wandering eyes. No. She will come after you! And with a vengeance!

Catty women are mostly the passive-aggressive types and if you’re in their line of fire, you’ll feel their eyes bore into you like a needle. You’ll pick up the sickening vibrations these girls put off. Also, you’ll feel the negative energy they exude grip you and try to squeeze the life out of you. And these females will almost seem demonic- as if they’re possessed with an evil spirit.

If You Become the Target of Catty Women, BEWARE!

These shrews will try to get information from you. Moreover, they’ll pump your friends, associates, even your family members for information about you.

They’ll warn everyone who will listen not to associate with you and try to damage your good relationships. They will also sabotage your job prospects, invade your privacy and snoop through your office and sometimes even your belongings, to find anything they can use against you.

Some may even stalk you to find out where you live and who your family members are. Understand that these women see you as an adversary- someone they must compete with. Your success causes them to compare themselves to you and question their own achievements and overall value as women.

They hate you because they think you have it better than them. You can hear the venom in their voices and sense the poison in their minds. You see clearly the ignorance in their attitudes. Also, you’ll observe their huffy impatience and haughty demeanors.

If they ever sink their claws into you, they’ll never let go. You’re the enemy– the usurper of their perceived girl-code, and they have an evil laser focus on you.

Women and Girls can be Worse Bullies Than Men and Boys

These girls strut around the school, workplace, or community with funky dispositions and their noses turned up. They have their upper lips raised in contempt, eyes blazing under those fake eyelashes, and eyebrows narrowed. Overall, they have snooty and snotty attitudes.

And the woman I mentioned earlier? The one with the ogling husband? Should it be any wonder the guy has a roving eye?

You must realize that these women are miserable human beings, and they suck the oxygen out of every room they walk into. They are to be pitied and dismissed, not hated. Avoid them and have nothing to do with them, not only for your sanity, but your overall safety. And the further away you get from these hussies, the better.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Who Tattle on Their Targets

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Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales. And they often tattle on their targets for even the tiniest of infractions. If it so happens, they cannot find anything to tell on their targets about, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will make sure it’s something believable.

These bullies watch their targets closely, waiting with bated breath for the target to do or say something- anything that even smacks of being outside the category of right. They then run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager.

How noble these bullies must feel, sitting on their moral high ground, working as little gestapos. Moreover, they feel entitled to ensure that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

The reality is that everyone, other than the target, is free to do as they wish. They only do these things to their targets. Why? To keep them from being able to defend themselves or report bullying.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying, all your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported. After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker and rule-breaker?

Also, if enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many people pointing the finger at you?” Right?

It’s Like a Game of Chess, Bullies are Setting Everything Up Against You

Besides, in tattling on you or telling lies about you, these bullies are setting up a system where you will be discredited. In that, they’ll render you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it. Tattling is also a way to silence you.  Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’re more likely to find it easier and less painful just to keep your mouth shut.

Remember that bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Because, once you’re completely powerless, they’ll bully you openly and in plain sight.

Besides, who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a rebel-rouser, a riffraff! And people aren’t bullying you, they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

Bullies and everyone else-good. Target-bad! You’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. They serve as the extra pairs of eyes that the staff need because the staff can’t be everywhere at once. They’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

Tattling is a technique to eventually block the target from any help they’ll need and otherwise receive.

Afterwards, when the damage is done, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in taking away your power and ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior, and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly, and the bullies be virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic, and the better you’ll protect yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Foolishness

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Although healthy, forgiveness doesn’t mean you think what they did to you was okay. Far from it. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind. It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

Sadly, too may people think that forgiveness means that you must become buddy-buddy with the person and have something to do with them. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt. Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse because they take for granted that you’ll always be okay with it.

Understand that forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with the person who did you wrong. It doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool. You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good. Toxic people are dead weight and though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Because these people have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving, yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. However, if you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they will only continue to take advantage of you. You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them but there’s no law that says you have to trust them again. It’s better that you don’t trust them.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Life Begins When We Stop Seeking Approval

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Sadly, many targets of bullying seek approval from others. Often, the people they seek approval, validation, and acceptance from are mostly people who absolutely could care less about them. Even worse, those many targets seek approval from are their bullies-  people who have absolutely zero respect for them. Counterproductive, no?

What targets don’t realize is that most others’ opinions have absolutely no bearing on their lives. Yuck!

If you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:

If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?

Who are they that I must impress?

Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?

Who are they that I have to lie?

Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?

Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?

Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry. And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval. Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing. Never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you. Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation, approval, or acceptance from another person, you short change yourself.  Realize that a bully will never add value or benefit to your life. Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

You Don’t Need the Approval of Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy

Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed. And their opinions need not apply. If anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules and standards on you, especially if they aren’t your parents, or a well-meaning teacher or supervisor, you have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to tell that person to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

Understand that you only give these creeps something they haven’t earned, don’t deserve, and have no business having- you give them your power! You give them your freedom!

You give them control over your life! The above are things they have no right to and that are yours and yours alone, and these precious commodities are those they will only exploit, use, and abuse.

But once you take them back by ceasing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring about their opinions and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy? I do.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Most Bullies are Fakers and Posers

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During high school, I can’t count the classmates who were posers and fakers. My guess was that these posers accounted for at least half of the class. It shouldn’t be surprising that in high school, everything is based on appearances. Therefore, those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the ones who are bullies and usually, most popular.

However, most high school kids don’t pay attention to detail. Thankfully, I was one of the few who did.

In the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. Yet, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Cheap Wallets and Knock-off Handbags

Also, the girls in the clique would wear their high-fashion clothes. However, cheap, knock-off “Gucci” handbags would be hanging from their shoulders and arms. If you paid close attention and had an eye for detail, you could tell by the stitching patterns and thread counts, that these purses were fake.

All through the school, you would see the fake gold, Rolex watches. They also wore faux fur and suede, cheap costume jewelry, and fake leather and snakeskin. It was laughable at best!

Just to be clear, I have no qualms with anyone who has these items. Heck, they may like them. However, when you’re a bully and you buy these knock-offs to look like you’re rolling in money, you only look ridiculous. And you get no respect. Sorry.

In contrast, most targets of these bullies don’t feel like they need to have all that fake crap, yet they’re the ones bullied.

Targets, You’re Better Than That, and They Know It

You may still be wondering what the point to this story is. The point is that, if you’re a target, your bullies will most likely bully you over your virtues, not your faults. Also, they will project their fakery and insecurities onto you.

In short, people who are authentic and real- who are comfortable with being themselves, are those most likely to suffer bullying. It’s just a fact of this crazy world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because you’re doing something right. And it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

Most posers bully others because they’re angry that they must work so hard at being fake and they’re jealous of anyone who doesn’t. Therefore, your self-esteem should soar when you realize this fundamental truth. Posers hate and bully authentic people because they are complete opposite of them.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Behind the Bullies’ Most Vicious Attacks

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A crowd of people surrounded the red man. Accusation of crime, mob law over a person, lynch court. The leader in the center of the crowd, the leader, an example for diving. Angry crowd

The subconscious mind is a funny thing. And when we call out the deplorable behavior of bullies, their knee-jerk reaction is to get highly defensive. These people panic! They get irate, raise their voices, scream, curse, and call you the most horrible names in the English language. Even worse, some bullies get physically violent. Have you ever wondered why?

It’s because, in the deepest parts of their subconscious minds, the bullies know they are wrong. However, they were counting on your silence to shield them from exposure and accountability. They didn’t get that from you (your silence).

No. You called the bullies out in public. You put them on blast- exposed them naked before the rest of the class, school, workplace, or community. Now, the bullies must put in a lot of extra work in order to do damage control.

You had to open your mouth. You challenged the bullies’ (perceived) authority. Having the gall to defend yourself,  you refused to be controlled (Gasp! How dare you!). And now, your bullies are scared to death. But more than that, they’re furious, and they’re out for blood this time. And you can be sure that your bullies’ fury has roots- and those roots are fear!

Bullying. Marginalized child. Concept illustration. Scene shows a child suffering harassment and marginalization from other children.

When bullies attack you the fiercest, that’s when you know they’re scared to death!

Think of it this way. When a warplane is over it’s target, that’s when the battle is at it’s absolutely worst. All at once, every anti-aircraft gun around ground zero unloads their full firepower on the plane. The enemy releases a fury unlike any other. Why? Because the plane is too close! And the closer to the target the plane gets, the worse the battle will rage.

It’s the same with bullies. When they know that you’re right over the mark and that you’re exposing them. They panic! Because they’re afraid that their skeletons just might come out to play and, boy! Do they come unglued and launch an attack like you’ve never seen! That’s when you know you’ve got your bullies figured out.

And when people get scared, they get desperate! And when people get desperate, they get crazy- they can even get dangerous!

Bullies know what happens if they are exposed. They risk losing face, then ultimately, losing power!

The second most common fear your bullies have is that you just might reach success of some kind and threaten their sense of superiority. Why, because, again, your success may help shine the light on the bullies’ own failures and shortcomings. It may cause others to compare the bullies to you and they just might figure out that the bullies aren’t so hot after all and that you aren’t so weak, dumb, and unimportant after all.

Therefore, again, anytime it seems that your bullies are attacking you the hardest and the most frequently- anytime the bullying you suffer is at it’s absolute worst- it’s usually because you’re onto something.

With knowledge comes power!

Reasons to Leave a Toxic Environment

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A Positive Environment

When we’re in the right environment, one that is accepting, loving, and nurturing, we not only survive, but we also thrive. We can grow and flourish.

Therefore, in a positive environment, under the right conditions, we feel free to be ourselves. We can express our own ideas and opinions without fear. Also, we can feel safe and secure. We can be confident and build positive relationships with others. This gives us the freedom to be creative and show our talents.

The people around us encourage and support us. They are cooperative and give us the freedom to be and do. Most importantly, they nudge and push us to be our best. This is the kind of environment that nurtures our souls.

Whereas, in the wrong environment, one that is toxic, oppressive, restrictive, and harmful, we may only survive. We may only squeeze by. Instead of grow, we only stagnate, or worse, regress. Instead of flourish, we only wither.

A Toxic Environment

In a toxic environment, under terrible conditions, we aren’t free. We’re only prisoners, slaves, and victims.

Furthermore, humans need more than just food and water to survive, which means they also need positivity from their environments. They need positive people around them.  Also, human beings need diverse experiences instead of sameness.

Sadly, a toxic, bullying environment only promotes sameness. It doesn’t tolerate any form of diversity because it loathes anything different. Environmental stimuli have a huge impact on our psyches and social interactions. It can make us bitter or better. Our environments can cause progression or regression.

Therefore, it is so important that, if you find yourself in an environment that sucks the oxygen out of you, you must remove yourself from it. Though it may not always be easy to do, it’s a must if you want to salvage your self-esteem and mental health. In doing so, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. Also, you will save yourself months of recovery.

With knowledge comes empowerment!