Category: anger

Bullying- When Emotions Are High

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Bullies are known for being highly emotional when they don’t get their way. They scream, they curse, they act out and they don’t care who’s around to see it because they use fear and intimidation to keep people from speaking out against them. Or, if they’re sneaky, they may hold it in until they get to a place that’s private and with people they trust, then fly into a rage.

Yikes!

Just as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, it can also be said that hell hath no fury like a bully disappointed.

Here are 3 safety measures you must carry out when your bully begins to rage at you. Things can get dangerous quickly when a bully becomes enraged.

1. Turn and walk away right then! You must get away from the raging bull(y) fast. Think, out of sight, out of mind.

2. Watch Your Back. The bully is postal. Even scarier, he’s outraged at you! So, you must cover your six until you’re either out of the environment or things have cooled off. Just don’t look like you’re watching your back.

3. Whatever you do, don’t mirror the bully. You’ll only look just as nuts as the bully. Also, the last thing you want to do is scream and curse back because things will likely become fisty, or worse, the bully might pull out a knife or gun.

4. No sarcasm or witticisms. This will prompt the bully to throw fists or pull a weapon faster than yelling and cursing back because, in your sarcasm and funny remarks, you’re making the bully look like a basket case and he knows it. Save the witticisms for when the bully is attacking in a calmer state.

Remember that bullies, especially narcissist bullies, have a sadistic nature and have absolutely no moral compass. Many bullies of the narcissistic variety become murderers. So, get away from the person, stay away, and make sure they aren’t stalking you.

No contact is the best way to stay safe.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bully-Targets: Targets Who Fight Back with Violence

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Bullies may indeed beat the target into submission, but that submission is only temporary. Worse, bullying, beatings, and punishing the target only does one of two things:

It re-enforces the target’s belief that he is vulnerable and that others are hostile toward him- which makes the target that much more likely to defy the bullies to assert his right to exist and to fight back.

Or…

The target may attack a weaker and more accessible adversary.

These targets feel vulnerable (and sadly, they are) and they become hypersensitive to confrontations like disparagement or domination. Violent targets come to see other people’s actions and words as affronts. These targets think nobody can be trusted. They also view their entire lives as a battle.

Bully-Victims, or bully-targets are bullied but also bully others they perceive to be weaker. In other words, they are bullies who get bullied by other bullies.

Many bully-targets also suffer severe abuse at home and have a history of demanding attitudes, disobedience, disruptive behavior, and rebellion. With the exception of being severely abused at home, this was me years ago. I felt safe at home but once I left the house, I felt like an endangered species.

PTSD

As implied earlier, many other bully-targets view their lives as a battlefield because they are abused at home and at school, or work. The abuse they suffer is never-ending and something they can never get a respite from. Therefore, their response is to retaliate and rebel against a world they feel is against them.

They are often severely punished at home for the most minor of infractions- being too loud, being too rambunctious- basically, for simply being a kid!

Many bully-targets have parents who always seem irritated and adults in their families who over-criticize them, threaten them, slap them around, and beat them. One boy who was a bully-target opened up about having a father who would double up his fist in his face and threaten to “knock him through the wall.”

It’s because of things like this that these kids are angry and lash out so easily. The abuse and bullying they suffer does not force them to comply, it only further enrages them.

These kids feel mistreated, misunderstood, and tossed away. They feel that everyone is against them and why not? The abuse they suffer both in and outside the home seems to confirm it!

This is why many targets who fight back are mistaken for bullies. They are perceived by others to be bullying others when, in fact, they are defending themselves.

These kids have the most difficult time with people and with life in general and their futures are at stake. These are the kids who need the most help. And it’s up to us to reach out and help them.

If you know someone who is a target of bullying and falls into this category, I cannot stress enough the importance of being there for them and getting them help. Please don’t give up on them because they aren’t hopeless and there’s still time to help them turn their lives around. By reaching out to these kids, you will be saving their future and their lives!

Bullies Who Are Only Angry, Bitter People

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In many cases, I’ve found that bitterness is the main ingredient of bullying behavior. It is the reason why bullies desire to make someone else suffer. Because people mistreated them in the past, they want to see someone else get abused and will go out of their way to make that happen.

Understand that it makes the bitter bully feel better to see someone else suffer as they have. These people will look for slights and often find them when none are there.

These bullies are also vengeful, spiteful, and look for ways to retaliate against those they feel have mistreated or ignored them. They have pinned up rage toward their targets and will have feelings of loathing toward them.

They have anger, disappointment, sadness, and resentment all balled into a mish-mash of toxic goo!

bring it

These people are continually looking for a fight and thrive on drama. If they can find neither one, they’ll create it.

They’ll make an offhand remark to put another person on defense or do something to annoy someone to bait them into an altercation. Then when it’s over with, they feel better.

To these kinds of people, life has done them wrong- cheated them in some way. And they feel they have a right to spew their vitriol.

I want you to understand that bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be!

And they can’t be happy for others’ successes or good fortune. Any success of another is only proof to them that they haven’t been given a fair hand. That’s the reason these kinds of bullies will often bully those who have positive things going in their lives.

They go after these victims to “tear them down,” “put them in their place” and keep them there.

bully

The only way you can handle a bitter person is to boot them out of your life and avoid them like the plague. Whatever you do, don’t engage!

Bitter bullies must live with emotions they cannot handle, which is why they must have a target. They need an easy mark to unload all their negative feelings on so that they can feel better in knowing that they’re not the only one who feels bad.

Making others feel rotten is gratifying for these types of bullies. Misery loves company. How they feel better is to make you feel worse! But would they admit that? Never! Because it would make them look inferior and defeated.

Many bullies have themselves been emotionally injured by other bullies. However, it’s no excuse for the way they act. You can feel sorry for them, yes. But you don’t have to tolerate the way they treat you.

Disengage, then get away with your self-esteem intact!

You don’t deserve to have these bloodsuckers in your life! The sooner you get far away from these types, the better!