Did you know that bullying is abuse? ‘Want to know how they are one and the same? Here are the characteristics bully and abuse share that targets of bullying must know about.
Bullying is terrifying to their victims and leave them with life-long injuries and even cause death. As someone who survived and overcame bullying at school and in the workplace, I’m giving you the characteristics and long-lasting effects that bullying shares with it’s brother, abuse.
You will learn how the two match so that you can more confidently speak against it.
Once you learn these similarities, you will better be able to classify bullying as a form of abuse and see it exactly as it is. Moreover, you will be able to recite the characteristics and effects they both share so that you can contrast the two.
This post is all about the shared features and consequences of bullying and abuse and the reality that most people, especially victims of bullying don’t think about.
Bullying is abuse
This is probably a statement you haven’t heard much and you may even wonder how. Here are nine exact matches you must be aware of.
1. They both instill fear in their victims.
Bullying and abuse are designed to instill fear and anxiety. Moreover, bullies thrive on their victim’s fear to get a desired outcome from their behavior and from their victims.
Victims of both are usually so overwhelmed with fear that bullies can easily force them to comply with their wishes and demands. Victims are afraid that things will only get worse.
Also, they’re frightened of being physically attacked or socially ostracized. Therefore, they feel powerless to stand up to their abusers because they know that chances are good that they’ll suffer brutal retaliation if they dare to even speak up for themselves, much less fight back.
A healthy amount of fear is a good thing. However, victims of bullying and abuse are overwhelmed, even paralyzed with it.
This isn’t healthy because excessive fear only stunts growth and development. Moreover, it’s an invisible prison that keeps you stuck in life. An excessive amount of fear can also cause a psychological condition called, “Learned Helplessness.”
Moreover, the two can use fear of harm to induce classical conditioning in a very negative way. Think, Pavlov dogs and you’ll get a better understanding of this section.
2. Bullying is abuse: Both involve the use of force.
Bullying and abuse involves the use of force to get their victims to comply with their demands or not to say or do anything to make the perpetrators uncomfortable. Put simpler, the fear of harm compels victims to do everything they can to satisfy and even gratify (reward) their violators.
The targets often feel they have no choice. It’s either do what they can to please their offenders, or else.
3. They both include an imbalance of power.
This is a no-brainer. Bullying and abuse automatically strip their targets of personal power and hand over ALL power to the abusers. Understand that the perpetrators of both get a huge rush of power when abusing their victims.
Therefore, bullying and abuse are all about power and making their victims powerless. Thus, an imbalance of power arises if targets are too afraid to take a stand against their oppressors.
Understand that anytime bullies/abusers feel that they are losing power and control over their victims, they will immediately escalate the aggression to try and reinforce power over them.
For example, verbal or emotional bullies/abusers may escalate to physical bullying with beatings or they may destroy the victim’s property to get their point across.
Here’s a scenario. You have a verbal bully/abuser get in your face, yelling and cursing you out for a perceived slight. You get tired of hearing the tirades, so you put your hand up, turn your back on the person, and walk away.
Suddenly, as you’re walking away, your bully pursues you from behind and in a fit of rage, grabs you by the hair, and pulls you back before beating you up.
Therefore, understand that bullying and abuse always escalate! Always!
4. the goal of both is to gain power, control and dominance over another person.
Bullies and abusers love the thought of having absolute power over their targets and there’s nothing they will do to keep that power for themselves.
It’s a dark part of human nature. The one and only thing abusers desire more than money is to have the ability to tell others what they can and cannot do. In other words, they want control over the lives of others.
Bullies and abusers are tyrants and authoritarians at heart and they have an obsessive need to dominate. This is the only way they can feel powerful and in control. Always remember this.
5. Bullying is abuse: They both strip away your confidence, self-esteem, freedom, and autonomy.
Both bullying and abuse work to psychologically condition their targets. In other words, victims may initially being happy, strong, and confident people. However, bullies and abusers can slowly erode those healthy qualities and break down the target over time.
This is what has happened to many super confident women when they married abusive and controlling husbands. The women may have started out with a healthy self-esteem.
However, as time went by, the abuse from their partners slowly chipped away at their confidence and, bit by tiny bit, these women spiraled downward. In the end, the abusers broke these once-vibrant ladies down and the women became powerless shells of their former selves.
Moreover, it took a long time healing before these women could learn to make their own decisions again and feel free to be themselves.
This is what bullying and abuse both do to victims.
6. Bullying and abuse are repetitive and tend to escalate.
Always! Why? Because, sadly, most bullies and abusers get rewarded for their atrocious behavior. Moreover, most people, even those in authority, only side with the abusers/bullies and blame the victim.
It happens all the time. Because the target is usually the one with the least power, it’s much easier for bystanders and authority to blame them rather than hold the offenders responsible and risk becoming the next victim.
Let’s face it, most people, especially bystanders and authority, are cowards and butt-kissers.
Therefore, if bad behavior is what works, if it has always gotten them what they wanted in the past, then why would they stop?
Here’s something else you must know. Because bullies/abusers often get away with their abuse, they become more and more brazen with time.
As a result, they will escalate the aggression. In other words, they may transition from verbal and emotional abuse to physical abuse. Then, occasional slaps and punches may progress to full-fledged beatings and worse and worse it gets.
Therefore, understand that bullies/abusers don’t recognize boundaries nor limits.
7. they both leave lasting emotional trauma.
If a victim suffers bullying/abuse, especially if it’s chronic and long-term, it leaves emotional scars that can be difficult to heal. Targets of abuse often suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, excessive fear and trust issues.
Moreover, they can have problems in relationships and friendships later own and can even become suicidal if they don’t find professional help.
Bullying and abuse both have the same long-term after-affects.
8. Bullying is abuse: Moreover, both come from an authoritarian and tyrannical attitude and a place of perceived superiority and entitlement.
Bullies/abusers tend to have authoritarian and superiority complexes. In other words, they have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. In other words, they think that everyone else, especially their victims is supposed to bend knee and kiss the ring.
Another thing to point out here is that many bullies/abusers have Dark Triad personalities, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Psychopathy, and Machiavellianism.
These people can be abusive partners in the home or sadistic teachers and principals in schools. They can be bossy classmates or puffed-up coworkers trying to climb the ladder at work.
Moreover, they can be tyrannical upper managers in the workplace or politicians and government officials in a town, state, or country.
Sadly, in today’s atmosphere, we seem to have a society where most people will kowtow to these monsters and carry their water for them.
Consequently, this only emboldens these human predators. Therefore, they will become brazen and keep pushing boundaries until they ruin the lives of many people before finally dying or are forcefully held accountable
9. Both involve unwanted aggression.
Bullies and abusers are notorious for inflicting unwanted aggression on their victims. The good news is that you don’t have to continue being a victim. However, this is for another post.
In Conclusion:
Bullying and abuse share the exact same types and features. There is verbal bullying just as there is verbal abuse. It’s the same with other types of bullying and abuse. There are physical and emotional bullying and abuse, as well as psychological, relational, and social.
Moreover, the features and after-affects of both are all the same as well. Therefore, the questions remain? Why don’t more people equate bullying with abuse?
Also, why do we continue to separate the two as different things when, in fact, they’re one and the same?
Feel free to ask these questions and do your research. Moreover, feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
this post was all about the features of bullying and abuse as well as the realization that bullying is abuse.
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