Often, when a girl is a target of bullying, the torment she suffers leaves her wide open for sexual harassment.
And this isn’t discussed enough. The harassment can range from inappropriate and embarrassing comments to unwanted physical touching. Though I’m female and am writing this post from a female perspective, I do realize that this can happen to bullied young men as well.
I cannot tell you how many stories I’ve heard from other female victims and survivors of bullying. And I can relate because, numerous times, my bullies subjected me to this type of behavior when I was in junior high and high school. Young creeps on the bus, in the halls or the lunch line, would sneakily run a hand up my skirt, put their hands on my behind and other such disgusting acts.
As any woman or girl knows, when people hurl sexual comments at you, grope, and feel you up, it leaves you feeling cheap and violated. And your first thought is to blame yourself. You wonder what you did to bring it about.
“Was my dress too short?”
“Were my jeans too tight?”
“Did I have on too much makeup?”
Even worse is when other girls blame you.
Yes! This happens all the time but most girls are silent about it. Other girls only assume that you “must have done something to make him do it”- that somehow, you “asked for it.”
Such incidences can attract the ire of the guys’ jealous girlfriends. Therefore, these girlfriends will accuse you of trying to steal their boyfriends. All the while, the pig who violated you walks away free as a bird. This only doubles the victimization. It’s no different from what a rape victim goes through!
Bullied girls can also be sexually harassed by other girls as well, only in different ways.
Girls harass other girls by verbal means, making statements such as,
“Nobody will $%#! you.”
“I’ll bet you’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”
”You’d $%&# anything that moves!”
These are only a few. I’ve heard worse. Sometimes, the other girls will encourage the boys to harass the victim sexually, then turn it around on her, calling her a whore, slut, floozy- take your pick.
In school, I knew another bullied girl who others referred to as “Tuna Fish.” I’ll say no more.
Understand that any time a female is the object of bullying, she has comments and remarks directed at her which are unspeakable. They’re so horrible and explicit that you don’t dare repeat them by mouth, much less write it in a book or article.
There is no limit to the low that bullies won’t sink.
They can be inventive to the raunchiest, raciest, dirtiest, most vile, hurtful and demeaning comments and actions. And anyone who hasn’t been on the receiving end of such would be shocked if they heard or saw some of the things a bullied girl has.
Understand that bullies show a side to their targets they would never in a million years show to anyone else.
Objects of bullying witness firsthand the shocking evil and cruelty of which people are capable, and they see the absolute darkest sides of the human character.
Bullies are experts at fooling bystanders and authority.
They are highly skilled at manipulating a social infrastructure. Bullies are also very aware that if the victim reports such abuse, others will not believe her. Why? Because the same bullies have meticulously ruined her once good reputation. And who’s going to take the word of someone with a notoriously bad name?
Understand that bullies will only show the worst sides of their characters to their victims and no one else. And why not? To bullies, the victim is both inferior and powerless.
When a person believes that you are inferior and powerless, they could care less about what you think of them.
As far as they’re concerned, any opinions you have are irrelevant. Whereas, anyone the bullies see as equals or superiors will only see the best sides of their character.
With that said, if you are a bullied female, I want you to know with every fiber of your being that it isn’t your fault. Know that you never asked for that kind of behavior, nor brought any of it on yourself.
And if you are bullied and endure sexual harassment, do not take any blame for it. And for goodness sake, don’t be afraid to report it! Know that bullying will not last forever. When I became an adult, the bullying stopped, and I am now very well-liked, loved, and respected.
I want you to know that this is only one chapter in your life, not the entire book. You too can overcome and move on to love, happiness, and success. Just don’t give up! You are beautiful! You are a great person despite what others may tell you or how they may treat you. And there are people who love you and care for you!
You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!
0 thoughts on “Sexual Harassment and the Bullied Girl”
Not surprising. Sexual harassment is really a specialized form of bullying.
You nailed it, Infidel! 💯 It is! And the reason why is because of the power imbalance it involves!
Another excellent post Cherie. May I add my own two cents? This is advice to all males: Do NOT enter a woman’s personal space until she invites you to. I found from my own experience that if you do this and the woman is truly interested in you, it will pay rich dividends down the line.
Thank you so much, Michael! And you’re absolutely right! 💯 I’m so glad everything worked out for you!
On another note, have you read my latest Peaceful Rampage post? I think you might get a kick out of it.
I definitely will when I get up! I got sidetracked earlier.
A woman is usually victimized twice. Once by the perpetrator and then the court system and defence lawyers blaming the victim.
You said that right! And sometimes the a third time in the court of public opinion!
Wow, this is a great post! It is so true how you put that oftentimes the one who is sexually violated feels as if something is wrong with them. That’s why there are so many children who don’t tell their parents out of fear that they have been the cause of the abuse.
Well written and super informative, as usual 😉
Thank you so much, Simone! 💖 And you’re so right! 💯 It’s a shame that many targets are shamed into silence!
Thank you so much for writing on these topics that are not spoken of enough
You’re most welcome! 💖 And thank you for your kind words!