Self-Love Irrespective of What Others Think

No lie. This can be hard to do, especially if the people around you hate you and are bullying you. Loving yourself in the midst of bullying and in a room full of people who think horribly of you takes a mountain of hard work when all you hear from others is:

“You aren’t worth a damn!”

“You suck!”

“You’re a drain on society!”

“You’ll never amount to a hill of beans!”

I understand. If you hear that long enough and from enough people, it can break your spirit if you let it. And how you refuse to let it get to you is to see it for what it is- noise pollution!

Here are a few more ways you can refuse to let their abuse get to you.

Give yourself permission to be yourself.

Know that’s it’s okay for you to be you.

Train your inner voice, through practice, to love you unconditionally.

Know that it’s okay to have needs, wants, and desires.

Deny the urge to compare yourself to others.

Understand that it’s okay to walk away from drama, and that it’s not out of fear that you do so, it’s out of smarts and self-care.

Allow yourself to make mistakes and to learn from them.

Realize that it’s okay to leave if you’re in an environment where you aren’t valued.

And lastly, know that it’s okay if people get angry with you.

Realize that if you don’t love yourself no matter your circumstances, it can have negative consequences later. Therefore, it’s so important that you do!

Although you can never control how others view you. And you can’t control what others say to you and how they act toward you. We must realize that another person’s behavior is beyond our control. However, what you can control is how you behave. In other words, you can control how you respond to the behavior of bullies and other idiots who try to steal your joy.

Loving yourself in the face of bullying is revolutionary!

Therefore, you must do what you can to drown out this noise pollution. And how you do it is to see your bullies for the creeps they truly are, think good thoughts of yourself, and remind yourself of your good qualities. Believe it or not, working to think highly of yourself when nobody else does is the greatest act of rebellion against bullies!

Again, see it for what it is. The judgements and verbal abuse you consistently hear from the cowardly creeps around you, is nothing but a bunch of racket. In other words, it’s noise pollution!

When you work to like yourself when others don’t, you refuse to let bullies get into your head. In that, you train your brain to filter out other’s negative comments and remarks that serve no purpose but to damage your self-esteem. Also, you silence that inner critic that would otherwise nag you night and day.

Moreover, when you love and accept yourself, others outside the bullying environment and strangers who have no history with you will be inclined to also love and accept you. No, your bullies and abusers won’t like or love you even if you love yourself, but who cares about them?

So, love yourself despite what others think of you. You will be surprised at how it will protect your self-esteem. When you work to feel good about yourself, even while bullies are tearing you down, it will work as a buffer to the psychological attacks they launch.

You may come out of it bruised but not broken.

With knowledge comes power!

A Remedy for Self-consciousness

Self-consciousness can influence the trajectory of your life. It causes us to forgo taking risks that lead to opportunity and great outcomes. Why? Because, we to place too much focus on how others perceive us and what they think.

Therefore, we become too fearful of making decisions for ourselves. Therefore, we don’t follow own paths and do what fulfills us.

“What will others think of me?”

“How will they treat me if I decide to do this?”

“What will my friends say?”

You’re constantly on alert, allowing these questions to replay in your subconscious, over and over again. However, what if I told you that these friends and “others” are just as self-conscious as you? And what if your bullies bully and ridicule you because they are scared of what others will think of them if they don’t bully you?

Here’s what my mother told me years ago. 

“Most people worry too much about how they appear in front of others to care about how you appear. Also, any time someone points a finger and judges you, they do so from a place of their own insecurity.  Most do it out of self-consciousness and it should be of no consequence to you.”

As usual, she was right!

In other words, they’re too busy monitoring themselves to monitor you. And if they do watch you and wait for you to screw up, it’s for the chance of taking the spotlight off their own imperfections. Put another way, they’re so worried about how they appear to others that they’re more than willing to point out your flaws in order to conceal theirs. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book- keep the spotlight off your own screw ups by highlighting someone else’s.

At the root of bullying is self.  Self-servitude, self-validation, self-centeredness. But most of all, Self-consciousness.

If this isn’t a real confidence booster, nothing is!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective. However, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. ‘Wishing everyone peace, health, love, and happiness!

In the female target case, after her peers have bullied her for so long, she feels alone in the world. Also, when she reports the bullying only for others to rebuff her, the girl feels that no one cares. It’s bad enough when school staff ignore her pleas, but when members of her own family, refuse to listen to her, it’s twice as painful. And it’s even worse than that when they blame her.

What Bullied Girls Experience

Bullies shame female targets for their looks, femininity, and virtues. They call these poor young ladies names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and other names that attack her as a woman. People will use their weight and their appearance as a weapon to cause harm. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names bullies call them.

Consequently, if this goes on long enough, she’ll no longer feel loved by family and or her peers. Therefore, she will more than likely use the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. Some bullied girls turn to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on and crave so badly. This usually doesn’t end well.

What Bullied Boys Experience

However, it’s much worse for boys. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Society expects boys to be strong and tough. In other words, to display manhood. Bullies will often emasculate their male targets and all too often, the target sees no way to reclaim his manhood.

Bullies will do everything in their power to strip the target of his “manhood” and feminize him. And they do it by making him look and feel less like a man. They will often call him names such as, “sissy,” “pussy”, “bitch” and other names that attack the masculinity.

Also, people consider it “un-macho” for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, others refer young men who complain of being bullied as “whiners.” Other people will tell him to “toughen up,” “suck it up,” or “man up” because they deem it as against “man-code.” This can also erode male self-esteem.

Male Targets Have the Highest Rates of Suicide

Once bullies have stripped a young man of his manhood, it will become next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.

bullied victim crying tears

No matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.

We must also encourage females to speak out and get help, as well. Moreover, they must also have older female role models. And these role models must instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful. And they are good, beautiful and whole with or without a partner.

With knowledge comes power!

Bullies and Self-Victimization

To put it in simplest terms, bullies target someone less powerful, then claim the opposite, that the target is bullying them. It’s a classic move and, gladly, it’s easy to expose if you know the playbook and know what to look for.

Therefore, any time a bully targets you and you call them out for it, you must expect this to happen and prepare for it. Expect them to cry “bully” when you dare to stand up for yourself or to speak out.

Realize that bullies despise resistance to their abuse, and, even worse, they hate it when you expose them. Any time bullies meet resistance to their evil, deceptive manipulations, voila! They suddenly claim that you are bullying them!

Conveniently Reversing the Roles

Bullies very convincingly cast themselves as so marginalized, so fragile, and so oppressed. Moreover, they label anyone who dares to call them out on their shit as “bullies.” They call any criticisms or even questions of their actions and behavior as “bullying.” Convenient, no?

Bullies do this by crying crocodile tears, using trending tropes of the day, and rationalizing their behavior. Therefore, they make everyone believe that they were only defending themselves or reacting to your bullying. And trust me, they’re good at it.

Bullies instinctively know that the best way to silence criticisms and reports of their ugly ways is to self-victimize. And sadly, it works like a charm!

blame point fingers

Fortunately, society is just now catching on to this and it’s long overdue. Also, there are names for this that didn’t exist thirty years ago. If they did exist then, they weren’t well-known. So, targets can now call these tactics by name and better describe what’s happening to them.

Every day, society is learning more and more about the bully-target dynamic. This, in itself, is promising to targets.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Three B’s of Bullying

bullying charlie brown lucy

Believe it or not, there is a method to the bully’s madness. Bullies are master life-chess players. They put a lot of forethought into their attacks against their targets. Always. Here’s how bullies can bully and get away with it.

Baiting

First, a bully slyly baits her intended target by provoking her for a reaction. If the target blows it off and fails to react, the bully meticulously and subtly intensifies the taunts. They will wear her down, over time, until they achieve the desired reaction. And they often do this in the presence of bystanders and witnesses. A bully is very much aware that everyone has a breaking point.

gossip rumors lies bitches

Bashing

Once the target reaches his limit and reacts (yelling, telling the bully off, cursing the bully out, punching the bully in the face, etc.), the bully weasels his way into the hearts of bystanders and authority, using superficial charm and charisma to feign victimhood.

The bully bashes the target by using her perfectly normal reaction as proof of the target’s “mental illness” or “meanness.” They very meticulously make it look as though the target is at fault. And bullies do this to distract others from their own evil actions, projecting guilt onto the target.

victim blame It's your fault

Blaming

Once the bully has succeeded in turning everyone against the target, she entices others to join her in shaming the target. Everyone may gang up on the victim, making statements such as, “Aww! You just need to toughen up!” or “Can’t you take a joke?”

Others may accuse the target of “bringing it all on herself” when in reality, the opposite is true. It is the bully who has harassed the target for months, even years. It reality, the target has tried to handle the abuse calmly and objectively. However, after so long, she only succumbs to exhaustion and reach her limit.

Moreover, when the target reports the abuse, the guilt is placed on the her and the bully goes unpunished. Then the bully takes the impunity as a green light for future torment. All the while, others see the target in a very negative light, with no other choice but to endure the torment in silence. The target will often clam up because they know they will only further tarnish her already damaged reputation. And why not? By this point, there’s a strong chance that no one will believe her anyway.

bullied victim blame blaming burned at the stake effigy

Each time the target makes a report, others who are often in a position to help, blow her off, thinking that the torment is justified. The bully then becomes more emboldened and the victim becomes more devastated and damaged.

The more brazen the bully becomes, the higher the degree to which the harassment escalates. Therefore, the more frequent and intense the attacks become. And it continues until the targete is maimed, is killed, is removed, or transfers schools to escape the torment or commits suicide.

Widening the Imbalance of Power

The bully benefits from the feeling of power and control she gets from mistreating her target and getting away with it.  Moreover, this gives the bully a sense that she is invincible and untouchable. The bully also enjoys the sympathy and petting others give her.

This strategy is also used as a means of striking fear into and silencing the target. It discourages any future attempts at speaking out and exposing the bully for what they truly are. And what they are, are cowardly, sniveling pieces of human filth.

bullying baiting

If bullies target you for abuse, you already know too well how it feels to be mistreated and then blamed for your own torment. It’s horrible enough to be constantly harassed, but to be blamed for that harassment is downright devastating. It leaves you feeling completely powerless!

Understand that this is just another weapon the bully uses and how she tricks people into allowing her to continue her bad behavior with impunity. And it is nothing new! Bullies have always used this method.

So, remember the 3 ‘B’s- Bait, Bash, and Blame and I believe that you will be better able to explain your situation when you report the harassment. At the same time, be expectant of what bullies are likely to do.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

What is DARVO and How do You Spot It?

DARVO is just another term for gaslighting but is more in-depth. Bullies will discredit the victim by discrediting the claims.

DARVO is an acronym that stands for:

D – Deny – Anytime the target calls out their bullies’ abuse, the bullies will first deny the behavior. Bullies will counter with things like,

“That’s not what I said.”

“That never happened.”

“That’s not what I did.”

Or, they may not necessarily deny it, but may minimize their behavior by saying things like:

“It wasn’t that serious.”

“I didn’t hit you that hard. That was a love-pat compared to what I could’ve done to you.”

“If I was mad, you’d know it.”

A – Attack – Next, the bullies will attack you. They will discredit you by discrediting your claims. Also, bullies will use gaslighting to make you question or doubt yourself. And they will say to you, things like:

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re crazy.”

“But you’re just looking for a fight.”

“You’re a drama queen.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“But you’re being difficult.”

“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

“You just won’t leave well enough alone.”

R – Reverse

V – Victim

and

O – Offender – The bullies will blame you for their behavior. They’ll claim that you did something to them to make them act the way they acted. Therefore, your bullies will make statements such as:

“It’s your fault.”

“You asked for it.”

“But you had it coming.”

“You made me hurt you.”

“You’re the bully, not me!”

I want you to know that DARVO has been around since the beginning of time, only today, it has a name. Down through history, it’s been the most common manipulation tactic of psychological abusers. Only 24 years ago did someone put a name to it! DARVO came from the work of psychologist Jennifer Freyd, PhD, who first introduced the term in late 1997.

You can read more about Dr. Freyd and DARVO here:

https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Bullies Bully by Instigation (Part 2)

In the first part, we discussed that bullies soften bully by instigating an argument between the target and someone not normally involved in the bullying.
There are many ways in which bullies instigate and bait others to participate in the bullying unwillingly.

Here are a few examples of baiting strategies:

The Secret Admirer Bait

A bully will use this to bait someone to insult and humiliate the target.
Here’s how it goes:

The bully and a few classmates or coworkers will see the target. The target is nearby and within earshot. If the target is female, the bully will point to a nearby male and say,

“Hey, (target’s name)! John said he was madly in love with you!”
John will then get on the defensive and say,
“Oh, hell, no! I don’t like that ugly thing!” or, “That whore? No freakin’ way!”

Moreover, by doing this, the bully slyly baits John in a knee-jerk reaction that includes insulting and humiliating the unfortunate target and achieves gratification in seeing the target humiliated and hurt.

The secret admirer bait is mostly used in middle and high school.

The Invitation bait

In this situation, the bullies will, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, become chummy with the target and pretend to have a change of heart. They do this to win the target’s trust.

Once trust is won, the bullies will invite the target to a birthday party, cookout, sleepover, or kegger, then humiliate the target somehow.

Furthermore, this may involve getting the target drunk or high, then manipulating them into compromising situations. This is used by both school-aged and adult bullies.

Here’s how to shut these monsters down:

1. Understand that no one ever becomes true friends overnight. Therefore, if someone who has bullied you suddenly starts to buddy up to you, and it seems to have come out of nowhere, it’s a red flag, and you should steer clear! You can be sure that this creep is up to no good.

2. Also, if bullies are trying to bait you into anything, they will lay it on thick! They’ll overdo the pleasantries. It will sound so sickeningly sweet, you’ll want to grab a barf bag. You’ll know it’s fake if you’re paying attention.

However, remember that bullies are very convincing and if you’re young and still in school, you’re likely to overlook the yuck if you aren’t careful. So don’t fall for it! Don’t go anywhere with those people. Because once you’re alone with them, you’re at their mercy!

3. If you’re a kid in school and a bully uses the secret admirer bait and tricks someone into humiliating you, deal out a good burn for the person baited into insulting you.

For example, you can say:

“No chance. I could never be that desperate, and you could never be that lucky.”

Then keep walking.

Your witty comeback will sting the poor sucker who took the bully’s bait and tried to insult you. But hey! Better them than you. Right?

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Bullies Bully by Instigation

This type of bullying is indirect and extremely cowardly. These types of bullies don’t have the guts to be direct or the stomach to get their hands dirty. Therefore, they do their bullying by instigating a conflict between the target and another individual. They then stand back, at a safe distance, and watch from afar, enjoying seeing the target humiliated and in distress.

In most cases, the individual these bullies pit against the target is not a bully and has had no history of conflicts with the target. The person pitted against the target can be a stranger, an acquaintance, friend, teacher, or supervisor.

Divide and Conquer

There are several reasons people bully by instigation:

• To create a situation where they can gleefully watch as the target gets humiliated and stressed out.
• For the purpose of turning others against the target.
• To create drama and entertainment
• So that they can parade the target in front of an audience
• To distract from their own evil deeds. If two or more people are too busy fighting and others are too busy watching and getting their kicks, they’re too occupied to pay attention to what the bully is doing.
• To isolate the target by making him look like the bad guy. The more people the bullies can turn against the target, the worse the target looks, and the less power he has.

bullied victim tortured

Often, when you’re a target of bullying by instigation, the person or people your bully has pitted against you will start their sentences off as:

“Hey! I heard you’re trying to get with my boyfriend!”
“Somebody told me that you did…”
“I heard you told so-and-so such and such!”
“Somebody told me you’re talking smack about me behind me back! How about having the guts to say it to my face!”

You’re First Clues

If you’re a target of bullying and someone has instigated a conflict between you and someone you don’t usually have trouble with, the first words out of your accuser’s mouth will be,

“I heard…”,
“Somebody told me…”
“It’s going around that…”
or
“It was brought to my attention…”

Those first few little words are your first clue of bullying by instigation, and that one or more of your bullies is trying to pit others against you.

Bullying, friendship, and people concept. Girl patronizing screaming pointing the finger at the shy timid nerdy woman who is looking down

The Correct Way to Respond

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying and you’re ever in a situation like this, here are a few comebacks you can’t make to the accuser:

Laugh at the accuser and say one of these,

“Really? You ‘heard,’? You’re so gullible you’ll believe anything, won’t you?”
“Wow! And you believed that? Boy, are you stupid!”
“Gee, you’ll fall for anything, won’t you!”

Challenge the accuser’s intelligence, then walk away laughing. Your accuser will be stunned, and your bullies, who are surely watching from afar, will be sorely disappointed.

How I wish I were this quick in school. But, as an adult, I was better able to defuse it by the above counter statements.

Always imply that your accuser is dumb for believing the lies, and I guarantee that the person will back down. It’s what worked for me.

(Continued in Part 2…)

Knowing the Truth About a Bully

Sadly, it seems that the more fake a person is, the more others adore them, and the more real a person is, the more people hate them. The reason for this is because “truth” scares people. Truth is uncomfortable, even painful.

As the old quote goes, “It’s much easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.”

Bullies have a way of using seductive charm and drawing others to them. They have a knack for making people like, even love them. These people are so successful at making connections with people. Bullies will agree with everyone on anything, tell others what they want to hear. They say all the right things at the right times. They’re the best actors in the business and sometimes it’s hard to see the snake behind the charm.

This is how workplace bullies get promoted in the workplace. It’s how school bullies become the teacher’s pets and the golden boys and girls of the school. It’s how bullies are liked and yes, even loved by unsuspecting others.

Bullies Thrive on Deception

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you know a person is fake, yet others think they’re the best thing since sliced bread? The person is evil, manipulative, and lies without a conscience, yet nobody knows it but you. Why? Because you’re the only one who sees that side of them.

You know the real person behind the façade of charisma, smiles, and waves. Plain as day, you watch them take pleasure in hurting others and ruining lives. At the same time, these bullies have a talent for sucking everyone else in by their fakery.

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

For example, A high school bully boy beats up a smaller kid on the ball field. As a result, all the girls who watch from the bleachers love him for it. Or, maybe the bully gropes a poor girl in the hallways who clearly does not want them touching her. Sadly, the female groupies and admirers who hang with them only laugh and signal approval. After all, the girl the creep groped is “a slut who was asking for it.” Right?

You can almost see what they’re thinking as you watch their eyes and their body language.

“Wow! What a man!”

Bullies Can’t Survive Without Putting Someone Else Down

Take the workplace bully, for instance. She seems so in control, so smart, and so attractive when she’s berating another employee for a minor mistake. Or, maybe she’s attacking another, more talented person to undermine their abilities.

These are the type of people who are blind to their own selfishness. They tell lie after lie and ruin life after life.

They lack consideration for others and aren’t responsible for their own screw-ups. However, you can be sure that they have no qualms about pointing out the mistakes and imperfections of others. Additionally, they have no problem deflecting their issues onto someone else.

What’s even more baffling is that, you’d think that once this creep dumps on enough people, others would begin to see through the smokescreens. However!

Au contraire! Some of them just keep going back after being dumped on only to have the bully rub it in. It’s enough to make you sick.

The Idiocy of The Bully’s Followers

You may try to warn others about the real person behind the façade. Also, you may defend yourself when they attack you but you’re shocked when others take their word and their side over yours.

Moreover, you hear people talk- saying what a fine, upstanding person the bully is and it’s clear they don’t know the person you and only few others know. Therefore, it’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear it.

The bully can be so horribly evil that if he stood side by side with the devil himself, you’d have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Furthermore, this person puts on the pathetic but convincing act of being bullied when they’re the ones doing the bullying.

It’s amazing how easily the people around you are fooled!

But realize that not only the bully, but the weak and gullible followers who enable the bully, need professional help.

The People Who Surround the Bully are Followers, Nothing More.

Understand that these bullies are toxic souls and wastes of space. They’re the people who cannot keep a relationship- they’re the ones who are always in and out of relationships, whether friendships or romances. Eventually, these bullies get a little too prideful, a little to bold…then they get stupid!

They screw up somehow, the mask falls off, and finally! People see their true colors!

I’ve seen this happen and I won’t lie to you. It gave me a since of justice and I was ecstatic when I watched them fall. Karma is a booger!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Male and Female Bullies: The Differences

Female bullies can be the most vicious because they seem to be better at going undetected than male bullies. Granted, there are always exceptions to this rule, but this is true for the most part. Male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying and females lean more toward bullying of the psychological variety.

Female Bullies:

I’ll say again but more descriptively. Although there are exceptions, most are passive-aggressive and commit much of their bullying on a psychological level. However, thanks to radical feminism and the moral decline in today’s young girls and women, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering – attacking the targets’ relationships. Girls and women use smear campaigns, gossip, rumors, and witch hunts. These tactics are all designed to turn everyone against the target- ’Isolation of the target’.

They also use projection- projecting all of their own shortcomings onto the target. Bullies do have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. Projection is the best way to keep their own imperfections hidden.

Therefore, they project their imperfections onto the target. Also, these bullies will use distraction- distracting others’ attention away from their own shortcomings and evil deeds. Bullies do this by pointing out the negative qualities in their targets.

Psychological v/s Physical Bullying

Girls and some boys, use psychological warfare. Psychological bullying includes but is not limited to exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors and lies. Also, it can include thievery, invasion of the target’s privacy and destruction of the target’s property and relationships.

If this does not work, they then may resort to violence although not as often as male bullies. If females want to cause bodily harm to their target, they are more likely to persuade someone else to do their violence for them.

They may send a male friend or a bigger and tougher female friend, to catch the target alone and physically assault them. Moreover, they get them to comply by offering incentives. These girls may offer either illicit sex to their male friend to get them to do what they want. On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion into their particular clique and the chance to climb up the social ladder.

Passive-aggressive bullies may also offer money.

By primal instinct, females are nurturers.  Nature has hardwired girls and women toward maintaining relationships whether they be familial, friendships, or romantic. Many young girls plan to eventually get married and have families of their own.

Thus, female bullies aim to sabotage the target’s relationships. Most girls and women, from the time they are small, dream of one day finding a mate and having children because they have an instinct to nurture. They are usually the caretakers of the family and home.

Covert v/s Overt Bullying

Therefore, it should not be any surprise that female bullies are notorious for calling their targets names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, ‘floosy’ and other names which attack the femininity and virtues.

Moreover, anytime you as a young lady are called either one of these names, there is an even deeper meaning behind it. Therefore, here’s the hidden meaning. It’s that you are not marriageable. Also, you are not worthy of a mate or children, and you are not considered to be a woman.

A female bully wants to brainwash you. Hence the reason why her attacks are so vicious and repetitive. She wants to convince you that you are worthless and will stop at nothing to make you believe it!

toxic brainwashing

Additionally, she knows that if she can make you believe the lies, there is a strong chance that you will live up to them. We are what we believe. This vicious shrew knows that if she could drum it into your head, she will succeed in breaking your spirit. Thus, making you prove her right.

Females Aren’t Always the Weaker Sex

 Get this straight. Female bullies WANT you to live up to the names that they call you. If they call you a whore, what they really want is for you to BE one.

So don’t live up to it! Show her up! However, she will not give up so easily. Girls tend to hang on to their hatred of another girl to the point of obsession. The bullying becomes a ritual. And when you stand up to a bully, don’t expect things to get better anytime soon.

Male bullies:

Because nature has hardwired most males to be the hunter and gatherer, guys tend to be more physical. And why not? Back during prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring home the food to feed their families. Often, they had to fight off wild animals and human males of other groups in order to survive.

Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression. Young men are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. Therefore, if the target is another male, the boy bully will not only use his fists, but will also try to feminize their target by repetitively emasculating him.

Emasculation of Male Targets

Male bullies often call their targets names like, “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack the male pride and cause them to feel less like men. They try to strip their target of his manhood.

And if the male target speaks out against the treatment, the male bully will trivialize it by referring to the target as a “whiner” and tell him to “toughen up”, or “man up”. The male bully may also accuse his male victim of going against what is seen as “man-code” if he dares to report the bullying.

And male bullies who are physically violent usually beat up on males and females. However, there are a few who are so cowardly that they’ll never stand up against another guy but only beat up on girls.

With knowledge comes empowerment!