Knowing the Truth About a Bully

Sadly, it seems that the more fake a person is, the more others adore them, and the more real a person is, the more people hate them. The reason for this is because “truth” scares people. Truth is uncomfortable, even painful.

As the old quote goes, “It’s much easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.”

Bullies have a way of using seductive charm and drawing others to them. They have a knack for making people like, even love them. These people are so successful at making connections with people. Bullies will agree with everyone on anything, tell others what they want to hear. They say all the right things at the right times. They’re the best actors in the business and sometimes it’s hard to see the snake behind the charm.

This is how workplace bullies get promoted in the workplace. It’s how school bullies become the teacher’s pets and the golden boys and girls of the school. It’s how bullies are liked and yes, even loved by unsuspecting others.

Bullies Thrive on Deception

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you know a person is fake, yet others think they’re the best thing since sliced bread? The person is evil, manipulative, and lies without a conscience, yet nobody knows it but you. Why? Because you’re the only one who sees that side of them.

You know the real person behind the façade of charisma, smiles, and waves. Plain as day, you watch them take pleasure in hurting others and ruining lives. At the same time, these bullies have a talent for sucking everyone else in by their fakery.

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

For example, A high school bully boy beats up a smaller kid on the ball field. As a result, all the girls who watch from the bleachers love him for it. Or, maybe the bully gropes a poor girl in the hallways who clearly does not want them touching her. Sadly, the female groupies and admirers who hang with them only laugh and signal approval. After all, the girl the creep groped is “a slut who was asking for it.” Right?

You can almost see what they’re thinking as you watch their eyes and their body language.

“Wow! What a man!”

Bullies Can’t Survive Without Putting Someone Else Down

Take the workplace bully, for instance. She seems so in control, so smart, and so attractive when she’s berating another employee for a minor mistake. Or, maybe she’s attacking another, more talented person to undermine their abilities.

These are the type of people who are blind to their own selfishness. They tell lie after lie and ruin life after life.

They lack consideration for others and aren’t responsible for their own screw-ups. However, you can be sure that they have no qualms about pointing out the mistakes and imperfections of others. Additionally, they have no problem deflecting their issues onto someone else.

What’s even more baffling is that, you’d think that once this creep dumps on enough people, others would begin to see through the smokescreens. However!

Au contraire! Some of them just keep going back after being dumped on only to have the bully rub it in. It’s enough to make you sick.

The Idiocy of The Bully’s Followers

You may try to warn others about the real person behind the façade. Also, you may defend yourself when they attack you but you’re shocked when others take their word and their side over yours.

Moreover, you hear people talk- saying what a fine, upstanding person the bully is and it’s clear they don’t know the person you and only few others know. Therefore, it’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear it.

The bully can be so horribly evil that if he stood side by side with the devil himself, you’d have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Furthermore, this person puts on the pathetic but convincing act of being bullied when they’re the ones doing the bullying.

It’s amazing how easily the people around you are fooled!

But realize that not only the bully, but the weak and gullible followers who enable the bully, need professional help.

The People Who Surround the Bully are Followers, Nothing More.

Understand that these bullies are toxic souls and wastes of space. They’re the people who cannot keep a relationship- they’re the ones who are always in and out of relationships, whether friendships or romances. Eventually, these bullies get a little too prideful, a little to bold…then they get stupid!

They screw up somehow, the mask falls off, and finally! People see their true colors!

I’ve seen this happen and I won’t lie to you. It gave me a since of justice and I was ecstatic when I watched them fall. Karma is a booger!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Things Many Targets of Bullying Do Wrong and Why They Stay Targets

Many targets of bullying suffer such vicious bullying and for so long that they’re willing to lap up anything that even looks or sounds like approval from others. They give undue value to anyone’s opinions, even those whose opinions should never be valued.

But when a person is desperate for friends and approval, they’ll latch onto anyone who shows their teeth to them. Worse, they’re willing to kiss butt and eat doody if it means they don’t have to be alone and friendless.

They’ll chase people who don’t give a crap about them and allow people to use them for what they can get from them. They’ll overlook it when their so-called friends stab them in the back.

They’ll even put up with overt abuse. Sadly, victims hold on to people who only tolerate them, which only invites more bullying. Anytime you have to crawl behind people who don’t care about you, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice!

I want you to understand this:

If you feel you must beg anyone to be your friend

If you think you must give them your delicious dessert at lunch

If you believe you have to do someone’s homework for them, give them money or do something that you don’t want to do to win their friendship

If you have to chase someone or go out of your way to get them to see the good in you

If you put up with being abused, disrespected, and humiliated by people who are supposed to be your friends

If you have friends who never have your back, who disappear and always throw you under the bus when trouble comes for you

If you have to force conversations with these so-called friends

In a nutshell, if at any time a friendship doesn’t feel right, these people do not deserve the time of day!

I understand the feeling of deprivation when you’re a target, it’s easy to want and nudge things a little. I completely get that deep ache- that longing to have a friend. And my heart goes out to you.

But you don’t need enemies with friends like that. Ditch these losers fast! They don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life.

When you’re that hard-up for friends, it shows. Anytime you’re willing to put up with crappy treatment to keep from being by yourself, it decreases your worth as a person. Other people see it and immediately think you’re pathetic. You come off to others as clingy and needy. Even worse, the desperate vibes you put out only attracts people who want to use and abuse you, which invites even more bullying and alienation.

Neediness just plain stinks. It is off-putting and repels even the people who would otherwise be good friends. There’s an old saying, “I can do bad by myself.”

It’s a saying I’ve heard for ions and it rings so true. Wouldn’t you much rather be alone than to put up with people who only pretend to be your friends and treat you like garbage? I sure as hell would.

I promise you that if you eighty-six people who treat you less than how you deserve to be treated, your value will go up and you will feel so much better about yourself. Also, either the people you ditch will realize what they lost and come back to apologize, or they won’t.

If they do, it’s your choice whether to allow them back in but understand that you do not have to take them back because some things you can never come back from. If they don’t, it’s no loss to you.

I say this because out of about four hundred classmates at Oakley High, I can count on one hand those I could ever trust again, and that’s without using all five fingers. Other than two or three, the rest of them I could care less if I ever saw again, even if they were the last four hundred people on the face of the earth.

I forgive my classmates, yes. But I will never trust them, and I’d be a fool to have anything to do with anyone I couldn’t trust.

The point is that you must value and love yourself enough to protect yourself and command better treatment from others. If that means being alone and friendless for a while, then so be it.

You deserve people who genuinely care for you, and if you have the courage to get rid of toxic people, life will eventually reward you and bring better people into your life- people who will love, respect you and feel so blessed to know you. It happened to me and it can happen for you too!

Don’t settle for fake friends who use, abuse, and only tolerate you to keep from being alone. Find people who celebrate you. Be friends with people who value you and see the good you bring to a friendship. You’re worth it. Believe it! Believe in yourself!

Moving On Is So Much Better Than Hanging on to Relationships that Don’t Fulfill You

Let’s face it, some things and some people aren’t worth your time and energy. Sadly, many targets of bullying bend over backwards trying to get others to like them but only accomplish the exact opposite- they only end up repelling more and more people.

Realize that, although they may be painful to detach from, certain things and people in life just aren’t worth fighting for. And these people are:

1. People who bully and abuse you

2. People who are jealous of your successes and accomplishments

 3. People who don’t reciprocate the love and care you give them- people who take and never give.

 4. People who don’t value you nor see your worth.

 5. People who are negative and drain the energy from you.

 6. People you feel like you must force conversations with.

 7. People you feel like you must force to stay in your life.

 8. People you have to try so hard to prove your worth to.

 Trust me, you have nothing to prove to these morons and they’re not worth it! And they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life. Stop giving them things they haven’t earned- they haven’t even earned your respect, must less your friendship, time, and energy! Kick these creeps to the curb! Fast!

Realize that you can’t force people to love you. People love you because they want to, not because they feel obligated to.

Let me break it down some more:

1.If you have people in your life who make you feel that you must explain to them why you do things the way you do, get rid of them, they’re only dead weight that holds you back from the life you deserve to enjoy.

 2. If you have people who say they’re for you but only discourage you from your goals- people who always tell you that you can’t, give them the boot because, again, they’re only trying to brainwash you to hold you back for achieving your goals so that they won’t end up feeling so bad about themselves.

 3. If you have people who only pretend to be your friends but really aren’t- people who talk about you behind your back, laugh at you with other people, or make little digs to make you feel bad, tell these people to take a walk because with friends like those, you don’t need enemies!

Realize that when you move on, you cease to be controlled, manipulated, and victimized. You put these people right where they need to be, in the trash heap of life. Hey, I know that being friendless sucks, but I promise you that it won’t last long.

Hit the road concept, road – 3D rendering

Know that when you get rid of the people who don’t value you, you only increase your own value and attract better people into your life in the future.

Instead of fighting to maintain relationships with people who aren’t worth peeing on, much less fighting for, cut ties with them and move on with your life. Move on and power through the pain and loneliness.

Whatever you do, just get rid of these people and move on. You’ll feel much better about yourself when you do. I promise!

Some People Aren’t Worth Your Time

Some people don’t come into your life to help you, they come to hinder you.

Some don’t come into your life to love you, they come to use you.

To some people, you’re not a person. You’re an opportunity.

They don’t love you for you, they love you for what you can do for them, and what they can take from you.

Some people aren’t loyal to you. They’re loyal to the benefits that come with you.

That’s why they disappear, no matter how many times you’ve appeared for them.

They never offer assistance, no matter how many times you’ve assisted them.

Stop standing behind people who don’t stand behind you.

Stop breaking your back for people who don’t have yours.

Stop busting your butt for people who don’t watch yours.

Some people aren’t blessings, they’re lessons.

Realize that these people aren’t worth a nanosecond of your time, and you must drop them like a bad habit. Only then will you feel better about yourself and attract more genuine and authentic people- people who uplift you and who love you for simply being beautiful, wonderful, awesome you!