why do schools ignore bullying incidents

Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

Why do schools ignore bullying? If you suffer constant bullying at school everyday, you’ve probably asked yourself this question many times. As someone with firsthand experience, I’m giving you the most common reasons every target of bullying should be aware of.

why do schools ignore bullying

It’s bad enough when you’re a kid in school and bullies use you for target practice. However, when the school continues to ignore it, even when you report it, it only makes things exponentially worse.

If you’re like I was, you’re probably desperately searching for answers. As someone who has experienced this firsthand, I’m giving you the most common reasons why schools ignore bullying

In this post you will learn the seven most common answers to the question, “Why do schools ignore bullying?”

Once you learn these popular reasons, it will relieve any confusion and you will be able to address the situation more appropriately.

This post gives you the answers to the question on the minds of every bullying victim, “Why do schools ignore bullying?” These are the answers that every target should know.

why do schools ignore bullying?

All too often, schools ignore reports of bullying and leave targets to fend for themselves. Moreover, this happens much more than we know.

School staff ignore you when you report your bullies to them. Maybe they trivialize your experiences or worse, blame you for your bullies’ behavior.

They may ask you what you’re doing to make them mistreat you. As a result, you probably feel victimized twice, once by the bullies and again by those who are supposed to protect you.

But realize that schools tend to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug and sadly, they do this all the time.

Therefore, here are the seven reasons schools do nothing about bullying.

1. They’re lazy.

Conducting an investigation into the case of bullying is extra work. Therefore, most school officials do not want to make any extra effort in resolving a case of bullying.

Often, they take the easy way out by either denying that there’s a problem or blaming you. And when your parents or guardians get involved, the school staff may often label them as “the unhinged mom/dad,” which is only a cop-out.

2. Why Do Schools Ignore Bullying? They’re afraid the bullies’ parents will retaliate.

Bullying is a learned behavior. Consequently, many bullies have parents who are also bullies themselves. Many of these parents are self-entitled.

Also, your bullies may also have powerful political connections in the town or on the school board. Therefore,  the school staff know too well that disciplining “the wrong kids” could mean an end to either their jobs or their entire careers.

3. They’re afraid that the school’s reputation may be tarnished.

Schools often hide cases of bullying to save face. In other words, the reputation of the school, sadly, takes priority over your well being.

Therefore, most schools know good and well when a child is bullied. However, they may consider that child a threat and, in worse cases, ostracize the poor kid and tell him/her to “keep your mouth shut” to cover their own behinds.

Moreover, bullied kids also have less power then other kids. So, it’s much easier for the school to not to do anything about the bullying when you report it.

4. Why do schools ignore bullying? They either don’t like you may even hate you.

Sadly, many teachers and school staff either dislike or hate their bullied students. Although these are supposed to be adults who were supposed to protect you, they don’t because of their personal feelings and emotions.

Moreover, when people bully you for a long period of time, they spread many lies and ugly rumors about you to defame you and destroy your reputation. It’s just another unpleasant aspect of bullying.

Teachers, principals, and school officials hear the lies and rumors as well. And they aren’t beyond making judgements based on what they’ve heard.

Additionally, school staff may even join in on negative gossip about you. Understand that although you may be one of the most goodhearted people around, the rumors and lies supersede the truth.

Therefore, in the minds of those at school, you’re “trouble.”

 Lies and rumors are powerful and they keep you locked in a prison of scrutiny and suspicion. As a result, you cannot be your true, awesome self due to the stress of being marginalized.

5. they didn’t like the way you responded or reacted to the bullying you suffered.

In other words,  because of having been bullied for so long, you may have reacted out of self-defense and exhaustion. You were so tired because bullies harassed you for so long that you really couldn’t help but to react.

Your bullies slyly used the reaction as further proof that you’re either trouble or you have a mental imbalance. Therefore, teachers and staff may think the worst of you.

Moreover, they may also think that because everyone else hates you, there must be a reason that justifies it. And so, they believe you deserve what is happening to you.

Consequently, when a teacher does not like you, they may either refuse to help you or secretly take pleasure in seeing you suffer. Realize that teachers and school staff are just as capable as the classroom bullies of hating and hurting students they deem undesirable.

6. Why Do Schools Ignore bullying? The bullies are athletes or cheerleaders

Understand that these kids make the school look good. Star athletes on sports teams win games and help the school team reach the playoffs. This only further bolsters the school’s image. The same thing goes for cheerleaders.

They enter regional and state cheer competitions and if they win, the schools’ reputation goes up. Therefore, the cheerleaders appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district.

7. The bullies excel in studies and are candidates for college.

Again, these bullies make the school look good. Schools desire to crank out graduates that are high achievers and go on to college. The more college-bound students they have, the better the schools look and the more parents will want to send their kids to the school.

Moreover, the more students a school has, the more funding they get from the government. Therefore, these schools aren’t going to do anything to mess this up.

Why Do schools ignore bullying?

What parents can do

This is why parents must stay proactive in protecting and advocating for their child even when it seems that the school isn’t listening.

Let them know that you will not go away until the problem is solved. Go to the media if you have to.

Therefore, gather your own evidence. Get a journal and have your child document each incidence of bullying, using the 5W method. And, depending on the laws in your state, you can have your child wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on them to get evidence of bullying.

Moreover, you must save any email correspondence with the school and save it on three different flash drives. Then hide them in different locations to keep the evidence safe.

Be there for your child. Assure your child that his/her reputation does not equal character and that the bullies have the issues.

Know there will come a time when your child will escape their tormentors and have true friends who love them for them. Constantly tell them that they are worthy of having friends and being loved.

You might just keep your child’s self-esteem from completely tanking and even save his/her life!

What you can do if you’re the victim of school bullying

When schools do nothing about bullying, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Document each incidence of bullying when you get home from school. Do this while the incidents are still fresh in your mind.

I can’t stress this enough. Keep your documents at home. Never take them to school because bullies are nosy and they will rummage through your stuff when your back is turned. The last thing you want is for them to find your documentation.

Wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on you. However, be sure you know what the laws in your state allow before you do this.

If you live in a one-party consent state, cameras and recording devices are legal and you can use them. On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you must have the permission of the people you record before you can use them.

Therefore, it’s important to know the laws before you carry this out.

Another way you can gather proof is to screenshot and save any incendiary messages and comments on your social media pages. Moreover, save any bullying emails, and test messages.

The more proof of bullying you collect, the stronger case you’ll have if you must take it to the school board or to court.

This post is all about the question, “Why do schools ignore bullying?” so that you can have the answers you’ve been looking for and be better able to decide what your recourse should be.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Know Your Enemy: 7 Reasons to Gather Intel on Your Bullies

5. The 4 Stages of Bullying

Instantly Expose Bullies

7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

Instantly Expose Bullies

‘Want to know how to instantly expose bullies for who they are and get your life back? We must learn how to do this effectively if we even hope to regain peace in our lives and reclaim our personal power.

in this post, you will learn 7 secrets to instantly expose bullies.

Fortunately, there are several things you can do to rip the mask off and keep yourself safe. Introducing, 7 secrets to instantly expose bullies and unleash your power. These are things that I learned through trial and error and wish I had known when I was young and enduring bullying myself.

However, know that there will be a certain degree of risk involved. But also know that you take a risk each day by walking outside. Risk is something no one can escape unless they want to live a meaningless life.

  1. Know your enemy.

    How you do this is to stand back and always OBSERVE the people around you, but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this. This is how you find out who the trouble makers are.

    In other words, if you see another student gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure that in time, they will do the same to you. This is how I now know who to avoid at all costs. However, be advised that avoidance will not work if you have a determined bully after you. If a person wants to get to you badly enough, they will seek you out until they find you.

  2. Document everything.

    As it has been said, “if it isn’t documented, it never happened”. Keep a journal and write down everything. I did this in junior high and high school just in case one of my bullies either hurt me bad enough to hospitalize me, or worse…killed me.

    Moreover, you must write down the names of your bullies, the names of any bystanders or authority (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time the altercation took place, the date, time, place it happened, what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!!

3. Never reveal anything that you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

You’ll be asking for trouble and it’s better to be safe than sorry. You never know when your bullies might turn them against you. And once they do, you can be sure that your former friends will be more than happy to tell all!

4. Keep a low profile.

Don’t do anything that may draw attention to yourself. And stay away from places the bullies may gather. Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

However, if the bullies do seek you out, they will risk exposing themselves because the people who know you and aren’t influenced by the bullies will see what is going on and know they are stalking you.

So, keep that in mind as well.

  1. Save any threatening texts, emails, social media messages or voicemails. 

And if possible, set your cellphone to record during any altercation brought on by a bully, provided it is hidden in your pocket. You certainly do not want the bully to know what you are doing.

Also, keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language. Schools are now becoming more aware of the issue of bullying. If you happen not to have a cellphone, keep a digital recorder handy (if possible) and be ready to record as soon as the torment starts.

  1. Never brag about any evidence you have on your bullies.

Not even to your best friend…PERIOD! Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends. They can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information. Don’t do it! Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

  1. Call the bully out in front of an audience. 

This is risky and could bring retaliation. However, the bully will also know that you are on to him/her and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone. It happened for me on a few occasions. But keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone.

Calling the bully out in front of people can also humiliate the bully and make that person more determined to get you. So access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this. Also, you could, very slyly, force the bully to expose him/herself. You can learn how, right here.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Three B’s of Bullying

bullying charlie brown lucy

Believe it or not, there is a method to the bully’s madness. Bullies are master life-chess players. They put a lot of forethought into their attacks against their targets. Always. Here’s how bullies can bully and get away with it.

Baiting

First, a bully slyly baits her intended target by provoking her for a reaction. If the target blows it off and fails to react, the bully meticulously and subtly intensifies the taunts. They will wear her down, over time, until they achieve the desired reaction. And they often do this in the presence of bystanders and witnesses. A bully is very much aware that everyone has a breaking point.

gossip rumors lies bitches

Bashing

Once the target reaches his limit and reacts (yelling, telling the bully off, cursing the bully out, punching the bully in the face, etc.), the bully weasels his way into the hearts of bystanders and authority, using superficial charm and charisma to feign victimhood.

The bully bashes the target by using her perfectly normal reaction as proof of the target’s “mental illness” or “meanness.” They very meticulously make it look as though the target is at fault. And bullies do this to distract others from their own evil actions, projecting guilt onto the target.

victim blame It's your fault

Blaming

Once the bully has succeeded in turning everyone against the target, she entices others to join her in shaming the target. Everyone may gang up on the victim, making statements such as, “Aww! You just need to toughen up!” or “Can’t you take a joke?”

Others may accuse the target of “bringing it all on herself” when in reality, the opposite is true. It is the bully who has harassed the target for months, even years. It reality, the target has tried to handle the abuse calmly and objectively. However, after so long, she only succumbs to exhaustion and reach her limit.

Moreover, when the target reports the abuse, the guilt is placed on the her and the bully goes unpunished. Then the bully takes the impunity as a green light for future torment. All the while, others see the target in a very negative light, with no other choice but to endure the torment in silence. The target will often clam up because they know they will only further tarnish her already damaged reputation. And why not? By this point, there’s a strong chance that no one will believe her anyway.

bullied victim blame blaming burned at the stake effigy

Each time the target makes a report, others who are often in a position to help, blow her off, thinking that the torment is justified. The bully then becomes more emboldened and the victim becomes more devastated and damaged.

The more brazen the bully becomes, the higher the degree to which the harassment escalates. Therefore, the more frequent and intense the attacks become. And it continues until the targete is maimed, is killed, is removed, or transfers schools to escape the torment or commits suicide.

Widening the Imbalance of Power

The bully benefits from the feeling of power and control she gets from mistreating her target and getting away with it.  Moreover, this gives the bully a sense that she is invincible and untouchable. The bully also enjoys the sympathy and petting others give her.

This strategy is also used as a means of striking fear into and silencing the target. It discourages any future attempts at speaking out and exposing the bully for what they truly are. And what they are, are cowardly, sniveling pieces of human filth.

bullying baiting

If bullies target you for abuse, you already know too well how it feels to be mistreated and then blamed for your own torment. It’s horrible enough to be constantly harassed, but to be blamed for that harassment is downright devastating. It leaves you feeling completely powerless!

Understand that this is just another weapon the bully uses and how she tricks people into allowing her to continue her bad behavior with impunity. And it is nothing new! Bullies have always used this method.

So, remember the 3 ‘B’s- Bait, Bash, and Blame and I believe that you will be better able to explain your situation when you report the harassment. At the same time, be expectant of what bullies are likely to do.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Targets of Bullying: Don’t Be Shocked If the School Doesn’t Help You

blind eye deaf ear denial

Schools are supposed to protect children. And some schools do help targets of bullying. I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending and to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim and only sided with the bullies and I also found this out years ago from experience. And sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem and get it solved. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

But if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t be surprised. And don’t be surprised if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff and officials as well.

deaf ear

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district is only interested in the sports programs, how many points an athlete can score for their school team, getting their football team into the playoffs, and how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies who excel academically or are star athletes make the school look good and are least likely to be held accountable.

And seasoned bullies tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent and know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff. They are also wordsmiths who are experts at feigning victimhood, explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior, which often makes the target look like the bully.

So, these are a few things to consider should you find yourself a target, report the bullying and the school fail to respond to your pleas for help.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!

“Get Over It!”

Studio shot of playful disobedient adult son in red t-shirt, covering ears with index finger and saying lalala while wanting mom get mad, standing indifferent to argue, being impolite and childish.

“Get over it!”

“Let it go!”

“Forget about it!”

How many of you have been told to do either of these? As if you could just wiggle your nose and everything is peachy king. When you’ve been abused, you cannot just let it go. Healing takes time.

The emotions you feel won’t just go away. Even if you paint a smile on your face and pretend that nothing’s wrong, these feelings will still be there, simmering under the surface, and the more you try to stuff them down and bury them, the more damage it will cause.

Understand that the emotions you’re feeling are there for a reason. They warn you that something isn’t right. Realize that the anger and hurt doesn’t disappear overnight and the people who give you that kind of response are ignorant and only re-abuse you when they demand that you “get over it.”

In order to heal and get your life back again, you must allow yourself to feel those raw emotions. No, it isn’t comfortable. No one wants to feel pain. But you must go through it to come out on the other side of it. And while you’re moving through the pain, practice self-care.

Give yourself some TLC. Have self-compassion. It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to baby yourself.

Take a few days off. Lounge around the house in your pajamas if you want to. Eat your favorite treat or give yourself a good, sweaty workout. Treat yourself to a spa-day, facial, new do, or a beach vacation. Your first priority is self-care, whatever it may be for you.

Last and most important, don’t shut up! Keep speaking out and standing in your truth. Self-care also means being your own advocate and if people don’t like it, too bad.

Put yourself first!

Who Are the Real Bullies?

If you want to know who the real bully is, ask yourself these questions:

“Who has the most power?”

“Who has the most social capital?”

But most importantly, ask yourself these questions:

“Who are the people no one is allowed to criticize?”

“Who are the people everyone is AFRAID to criticize or even question?”

“Who are the sacred cows- the people who seem to be untouchable and beyond reproach?”

“Who can openly inflict abuse on people and get away with it?”

If you can answer these questions honestly, you know who the bullies are.