Month: November 2021
Today’s Quote
“We suppress, reject, deny and disown the aspects that make us vulnerable or get us disapproved of in the world. By doing this, they become subconscious. They are buried outside of our awareness and we don’t know they even exist, even though they tend to be visible to other people around us.”
– Unknown –
Strength of Character
22 Good Responses to Bullying
It takes knowing bullying behavior when you see it and setting boundaries. We should respond (not react) to it right away and with conviction. And when you respond, you must respond with commands, not questions. What I mean by my last sentence is that instead of asking, “What did I ever do to you,” say, “Stop!” or “Knock it off!”
Because anytime we respond to bullies with questions, it only re-enforces their behavior.
Here are a few responses to different types of bullying:
The silent treatment
Return the silent treatment
Pull out a book and read it.
Walk away.
Put in earbuds and listen to music.
Verbal Abuse and Bullying
Firmly and authoritatively say,
“Stop that!”
“Cut it out!”
And put your hand out like a traffic cop.
Bullying disguised as jokes
“Knock it off!”
“Don’t be a moron!”
“Cut it out!”
A bully who judges you or criticizes
“Shut up!”
“Mind your own business!”
“Nobody asked you!”
“That’s enough!”
Responses to Trivialization
“I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“I’ve heard all I want to hear from you.”
When bullies undermine you
“Knock it off!”
“I’m not having this discussion with you!”
Defending their rights concept. Silhouette of hands pointing, denouncing the hand that defends their rights
When bullies threaten you
“Stop threatening me!”
“Leave me alone!”
“I don’t want to hear it!”
“Get away from me!”
When bullies make demands or give you orders
“I don’t respond to demands.”
“I don’t take orders.”
These are just a few good responses to the different types of bullying. Remember that you have a right to be treated well and you don’t have to take abuse from anyone.
Bikers Against Bullies Stand Up for Bullied Girl in Texas
Today’s Quote
“Many people think that being spiritual is being positive, but being spiritual is being conscious and aware. To become conscious is a much different thing than to become positive. To become conscious and aware, we must become authentic. Authenticity includes both positive and negative.”
– Unknown –
Anti-Bullying Anthem “Fake People” by TLC
WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU, “YOU AIN’T WORTH S**T”, YOU TELL THEM THIS… — BE BLESSTIFIED!
Minister Aldtric Johnson of the “Be Blesstified” blog is a talented blogger and this is a must read for anyone who is a target of bullying. Not only is his post packed with truths that we don’t often think about, but it’s also pack with good humor! I can tell you that not only did I learn a few things, but I was in stitches as I read it! So please take the time to read the post below, you’ll be so glad you did!
Don’t worry, I’m not going rated ‘R’ on you but, I really think this is going to bless someone. This is a much too common insult in our culture, and yes, the bad grammar is always intentional… “You ain’t worth s**t! Of course, implying that someone doesn’t have the value of feces, crap, refuse, doo-doo, […]
WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU, “YOU AIN’T WORTH S**T”, YOU TELL THEM THIS… — BE BLESSTIFIED!
Being Selective
Doing What Ya Gotta Do is Sometimes Doing What You Wouldn’t Normally Do
Anytime you’re bullied, you become desperate and will go to any means to take the bad spotlight off yourself. Many times, I would pit a few of my classmates against each other. If I knew of a few who disliked or hated each other, I’d very quietly and slyly pit them against each other.
An offhand comment here, another there, and I’d have them fighting among themselves. Yeah, I know, it was a shady thing to do. However, if I could keep them fighting among themselves, then I could distract their attention and hostility away from me and thus, keep the spotlight away!
Again, when you’re chronically bullied like I was, you’ll do anything and I mean anything to get a nice, albeit short, a reprieve from all the drama. And sometimes, “ya gotta do what ya gotta do” to keep yourself safe- even though it isn’t necessarily the right thing to do.
I understand. You never set out to cause anyone harm. You don’t want to cause discord. However, sometimes you’ll do what you normally wouldn’t do to protect yourself. So, if you have to, keep them too busy fighting each other to even think about you, I completely understand your position. Your only goal is to keep yourself safe!
Sometime later, I’ll give you more detailed pointers on how I did it.
Until next post! Stay safe and stay well!
Bikers Support Bullied Young Man
Today’s Quote
“Love transforms everything unlike itself. What this means is, when a person takes on the practice of self-love, they are committing to the re-surfacing and peeling back of everything that is unhealed and unloving about them.”
– Teal Swan –
Freedom of Choice Must Include This Or It Doesn’t Exist
What is freedom of choice if there isn’t freedom to refuse? Without freedom to refuse, the idea of freedom of choice is not only an illusion, it’s a blatant falsehood.
Freedom of choice cannot exist without the freedom to refuse. The two must either coexist or neither one exists.
Social Intelligence Trumps All
Ways to Tell When Verbal Bullying Is About to Escalate to Physical Bullying
I recently found my old notes from psych class in college. These notes were about the psychology of bullying, abuse, and victimhood. Because they were several years old, I was stunned at how much I’d forgotten. It’s funny how much information the brain kicks out after so long. But I reread these notes, and I enjoyed relearning some things that can be used on this blog to benefit others.
My notes were on the subject of how quickly and easily a bully (or any abuser for that matter) can change from letting their mouths do the talking, to letting their fists and feet speak for them.
Bullies have been verbally abusing you for quite some time. They’ve progressed from subtle digs and zingers to openly screaming at you, cursing you out like a dog, and making threats of violence against you. You’ve begun to feel afraid because you’re not sure when the bullying will become physical and what they’ll do to you when it does.
Girl sitting on the ground and drawing personal space. Selective focus
Understand that your bullies are still pushing your boundaries. Little by little, they up the ante to test you and figure out how you’ll react and see what you’ll let them get away with. So, they always start small. And they ever so gradually turn it up in teeny tiny increments.
So, how do you know when the bullying you suffer is about to become physical? Here’s how:
Bullies will start by invading your personal space, getting too close to you. They’ll follow to close behind you as you’re walking down the hallway or street. They’ll stand too close to you in the lunch line or while you’re punching the time clock. They may even step in front of you and block you from going any further.
Bullies may also sit at your desk, pick up your belongings, or lean on your car.
Bullies will begin their physical assaults through“accidental” shoves, pushes, and bumps. They may do things accidentally on purpose– “accidentally” running or bumping into you in the hallway or parking lot, “accidentally” tripping you or knocking you down, or “accidentally” knocking things out of your hands.
And they do this on purpose, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you won’t notice it’s escalating. After all, accidents happen all the time. No harm, no foul. Right?
The problem is that if bullies get away with these types of games, they’ll only escalate it until it gets out of control. And once bullying gets out of control, it’s almost impossible to stop or even slow it down.
Understand that bullying, or any form of abuse, always- always gets worse. Because it’s a dark part of human nature to push, push, and push further to see how far one can go.
Again, tune into your body and intuition because they will tell you whether what the person did to you was deliberate or an accident. If your senses tell you they did it on purpose, call it out and tell them to stop it right when it happens. If that doesn’t work and the bully keeps it up, it might be time to throw down. But, whatever you do, put a stop to it because it’ll only get worse if you don’t.