Bullies Who Have Anger Issues

Many bullies have anger issues. If you’re a target of these types of bullies, I want to warn you that things can get dangerous very quickly. These overly aggressive bullies will make you pay dearly when you don’t bow down and let them have their way with you. And they usually come back at you with explosive outbursts of rage, vicious cursing, and name-calling.

This kind of person is like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum. Bullies of this caliber will:

1.turn red-faced, curse and scream at you to the top of their lungs,

2. call you the vilest names

3. hurl objects at you from across the room.

4. destroy your personal property

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Many of my classmates were these types- people who had only reached a two-year-old’s maturity level and stopped there. It seemed that when I wouldn’t be their puppet, they’d get physical and try to beat me into submission.

Understand that these kinds of bullies can’t ask for what they want respectfully because, if they do, they’ll only be giving you the freedom to say no. They would give you a chance to cut those puppet strings. Then where would that leave them?

It would leave them without a target.

Some of them will threaten you with:

1. “If you don’t do this, I’ll kick your a**.”

2. “If you say that, I’ll beat the sh** out of you.”

And some may not. But! You know the threat is there because these bullies will give you that threatening look or they loom just a little too close to intimidate you. Their body language speaks for them. Their nostrils will flair like a bull getting ready to charge, or they face you with a threatening stance while clenching their fists. They are the classic bullies.

Realize that overly aggressive bullies are so afraid of losing control of you. They react with rage if you don’t comply or take the abuse.

As I type this, I think about one bully, in particular, I’ll call her Kitty.

If there’s one thing I remember about her, it’s her volatile temper. During the eighth grade, I remember standing in the lunch line, and Kitty shoving me from behind and screaming at me to move. She pushed me so hard that she almost knocked me to the floor.

I don’t know what came over me that day, but people had bullied me for a few years, and I finally got fed up. I shouted back, telling her to keep away from me and not to ever put her hands on me again. Suddenly, her eyes flashed, and she grabbed a steak knife from the utensil section. Back then, schools used real silverware, not plastic cutlery. And she lunged at me with it.

To this day, I can still remember the white-knuckled grip she had on the potential weapon. Luckily, the principal and several male teachers grabbed and restrained her before she could attack. And mind you, Kitty was a huge 200+ pound, and close to six feet tall gargantuan. I was only, maybe, 110-120 lbs and five foot three or four. So, she could’ve done considerable damage without the knife. Lord knows what she would’ve done with it.

Then, there was the incident in the principal’s office after she’d tried to attack me in the classroom when she went berserk and grabbed the principal’s nameplate off his desk and charged me with it. Luckily, the principal and another teacher restrained her.

So, I want to warn you that, yes, such people exist and they’re dangerous. It’s best to avoid these types of bullies if possible. However, understand that overly-aggressive bullies are the type who will also hunt you down if you’re not available.

Kitty was that type. You couldn’t avoid her for long.

If a bully tracks you down, I can only tell you this. If the school won’t punish these crazies, the best thing to do is document the bullying and keep a journal of it, using the 5W rule. You should also contact the police and get a restraining order against these kinds of bullies. In doing these things, you establish records of past abuse, and these records can serve as evidence in court in the event the person maims you, or worse. You may also need to transfer schools to ensure your safety.

Do everything you can to take care of yourself and stay safe.

The Mentally and Intellectually Disabled Are The Strongest, Bravest, and Purest Souls on Earth!

If you’re from my generation, I’m sure you remember the series from the early ’90s, “Life Goes On.” And if you remember this television series, then you automatically think of Corky Thatcher, the mentally challenged middle child of the Thatcher family, played by Chris Burke. He, in real life, has Down’s Syndrome.

I’m not writing this for personal gain. The chances are that neither Chris Burke nor any of the other cast members or producers will ever read this post, which is only proof that I write strictly from my heart and about what I’ve noticed on many, many occasions throughout my lifetime.

The Mentally and Intellectually disadvantaged have the purest and sweetest of hearts, yet they live in a world that looks down on them. They’re unwanted- shunned, ridiculed, and brutalized. Yet, most of them maintain their smiles and their unconditional kindness. Their moral compasses never waiver. They’re innocent, childlike, and have hearts of the purest gold.

I write books about unsung heroes, who are different and who bullies target daily. But I’ll tell you this:

The courageous, amazing real-life heroes are the best of the human race! I admire their unbreakable will, unshakeable courage, dogged determination, and amazing ability to keep smiles on their faces even under the most challenging of circumstances!

These are the people who have the fortitude to overcome odds that would be overwhelming to a cast majority of people. And I state this with full conviction.

These beautiful souls also work the lowliest of jobs- jobs that most people think are beneath them. They have the best work ethic, are the most dedicated, and have the most pride in their work. Yet, they are the worst treated and devalued by supervisors and coworkers!

These angels have more heart and soul than those who are “normal” and twice their ages.

You have to wonder how they do it. How do the mentally and intellectually disabled find the resolve to go up against such tremendous odds every single day? How do they keep pushing amid jeers, jokes, and cruel insults? Situations under which most “normal” people would’ve thrown in the towel?

Another reason why I salute the mentally and intellectually challenged is that they don’t let on that they even realize it when the rest of the world is showing it’s booty to them. They’re the people who never complain nor seem to feel sorry for themselves like most “normals” do anything life gives them a one-two punch. Yet they’re given the least respect, the most devalued, and the most abused- all because people see them as having the least power of all!

The mentally and intellectually disabled don’t retreat into drugs and alcohol. Instead, they retreat into their work and hobbies. They keep their minds occupied with things that interest them.

I’ve found that these people are also most talented in the arts. Many of them draw and play musical instruments like professionals! Yet, others overlook those talents because of who those talents belong to!

I’m not one of them. I don’t claim to know for sure, so I can’t speak for the mentally and intellectually disabled. But through my observations over the years, I’ve come to realize that, maybe, the reason the mentally and intellectually disabled seem to handle adversity with such grace and aplomb is that they’ve accepted it as their normal.

I’m not saying that they don’t get hurt by it because they have feelings too. They have the same desires as everyone else- to be loved and accepted for who they are. We all have the desire to be apart of something and to be included. Humankind is hardwired that way.

But the mentally and intellectually challenged have such a way of bouncing back from years of repeated rejection- back to their cheerful selves much quicker! And they’re much more forgiving!

That’s what makes them such beautiful souls! They’re the brightest and most brilliant lights in a very dark world! And it will go to their credit and be celebrated in The Afterlife!

Therefore, all I can say to the millions of earth angels is this:

Keep up the good fight! Keep being a shining example to the rest of the world! I love you all!

“Kids Under the Latch Key” by Cherie White

Winning Over Your Enemies

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It’s something you can do. I’ve seen other people do it, and I’ve done it. However, a couple of things need to happen before you can win over an enemy: first, the enemy must be open to you winning them over. In other words, the person has to want it and not resist it. Then, you must show genuine interest in them and their lives, and it has to be real and not fake.

Understand that enemies are naturally resistant to us. Why? Because, to an enemy, you’re the bad guy. It doesn’t matter that you’re a great person with a giving heart. You may be the most fun and cheerful person in the world, even liked by many. None of that will make a difference to your enemies.

To an enemy, you’re suspect even when you’re on your best behavior and whether it’s real. An enemy doesn’t care how kind and down to earth you are. They could care less about your charm and charisma. Any kindness, genuineness, smarts, and talents- any positive qualities you may possess are all null and void to your enemy.

All that matters to an enemy is that you are who you are, and they resent you for it. Nothing more.

But would you even want to win over such a person? I wouldn’t. With an enemy such as this, it’s better to leave them where they are and keep it moving because there’ll be some enemies you can’t win over no matter what. Others, you can but be cautious.

Whether you win over an enemy depends on the person with whom you’re dealing.

Years ago, I did win over an enemy from school- a staunch enemy. We became close friends and remained close until the day she passed away. It was a blessing because she became a blessing to my life, and I became a blessing to hers. And I did it by showing genuine interest in her after she brought her defenses down and showed me the same. It was one of God’s beautiful miracles, I believe.

We discovered things about each other that we never even suspected. This lady had been a target of bullying herself. She, too, had been judged and persecuted by others, and harshly so. And other than the petty rumors I’d heard about her, I hadn’t known it was as bad as it was. She’d had to fight her way through school, and like me, she was only trying to survive.

I want you to realize that this doesn’t work with everyone, especially an enemy who’s narcissistic. If you show genuine interest in a narcissist, you’ll only be feeding them their much-needed narcissistic supply, and they’ll only steamroll you with it. A narcissist only sees another’s genuine interest or love as bowing down and kissing their arse.

Narcissists only get a thrill out of it and take it as a green light to use you for what they get out of you- even if the benefits are nothing more than an ego boost. To a narcissist, you’re not a separate human being with feelings, thoughts, perspectives, and goals of your own. No. You’re an object who’s only here for their convenience.

True friends are hard to find and don’t come along every day. You must pick and choose wisely.

It’s the same with enemies you chose to win over. Yes, turning an enemy into a friend is fantastic and can be rewarding. But it’s wise to be selective of those you chose to win over because not everyone deserves a place in your life.

Bullies with a Napoleon Complex

Many bullies in school were insecure because they were short, skinny, or both. To compensate for it, they would try to intimidate others by walking around with a scowl on their faces, or they’d scream, yell, and talk real tough. It’s hilarious when I look back now.

But I’ve found that many of these squirts do this, and there’s a name for it. It’s called either the “Napoleon Complex” or “little man syndrome.”

Think “Maddy Webber” on the new MacGyver reboot.

Understand that their bark is worse than their bite, and they bully as a defense mechanism. Maybe the little ankle-biters at my school gave me a hard time because bigger kids were bullying them. But they would never admit it. So, they took the coward’s way out and searched for someone they thought was weaker.

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They’d come at you with their spitfire tempers and want to try you, then wonder why they got a good whack in the nose. Next, they’d either run, crying to a teacher, or they’d go bark up someone else’s tree.

I was small myself, weighing about 120 lbs and only 5’3″-5’4″, but some of these kids were even smaller than I was. Such kids are in every school, and you even have tiny adults who behave the same way at work.

We even had a few short and skinny teachers, and they’d scream and yell at the students when they’d get too noisy. I knew of one male English teacher who’d go nuts- slamming his fists down on his desk, shaking his fists in the air, throwing erasers at students, and screaming like a banshee. We just knew this little guy was a future resident at the state mental hospital.

Even as an adult, I’ve seen different people (especially men) at work who were short and squirrely but would bark loudly, and I couldn’t help but think that these men only felt they had to compensate somehow for their stature. Their screaming, cursing, posturing, and jockeying seemed to give them some sense of power.

I’m not posting this to make fun of little people. Not all of them are like this. As I mentioned earlier, I’m only 5’4″.

We all come in different sizes and varieties, and we should celebrate those differences. But when you feel you have to bully others to make up for what you perceive in yourself to be a weakness or shortcoming, you only show what a scared little coward you are, and people like me see right through you and only laugh.

Try a little kindness instead. Then when a bigger bully comes for you, we just might come to your defense instead of laughing at you.

That Sick Feeling in The Pit of Your Stomach

When I see a bully from my past, I get that nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach even now. I don’t even want the person around me. I have no ill will toward the person, and I don’t hate them. I only wish for the person to stay away.

Understand that these body sensations never lie. They are there to warn you of impending danger, and you should always listen to them. That gut feeling is there to protect you. There are other names for the gut feelings we get. We also call it our instinct, a hunch, or sixth sense.

There’s a good reason God gave this instinct to us. It serves as an internal alarm to warn us when something is wrong. Animals have these instincts, too, as do babies and children.

Instincts in animals are a lot keener than in humans because they must survive in the wild. And the instincts of babies and children are much keener than in adults. The reason for this is that the world hasn’t yet tainted children and conditioned them to tone down that sixth sense.

To stay safe, we must reteach ourselves to obey what our senses try to tell us.

Your heart will deceive you, and so will your mind. But your gut is always honest. Listen to it.

Victim or Overcomer

Bad things happen to the best people all the time, and sometimes people get what they don’t deserve. Some of the greatest and purest of humans are brutalized. It’s an unfortunate and sad part of life, and no one ever said that life was fair.

But you can take something from it. You have the choice of being a victim, or you can choose to be an overcomer.

When you’re an overcomer, there’s no greater feeling than knowing how far you’ve come. “You grow through what you go through.”

Countering Your Bullies’ Attacks

That means maintaining a healthy and positive sense of self.

It means refusing to take in and accept your bullies’ assaults on your pride and dignity, no matter how powerful or influential they may seem. After all, they’re only people just like you.

Countering the attacks from a bully means being able to withstand the barrage of attacks or your humanity, personhood, and character.

It means not letting your bullies persuade you into thinking that they know you better than you know yourself.

It means being super-self-aware- so much so that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are and that you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve shabby treatment.

It means having a clear vision of your value as a human being.

It means keeping company only with strong people who are positive influences in your life- people who consistently validate and affirm your positive qualities and the good you bring to the lives of others and this world.

Then, when a bully tells you that you’re ugly, stupid, evil, or crazy, you can stand with confidence and say, “No, I’m not. You are,” and walk away with more pride in yourself because you stood up to bullies.

Many targets fall for the garbage bullies feed them because there’s more to countering the attacks than words or fists. It takes mind and spirit power just as well. Most targets, sad to say, are either insecure in themselves, to begin with, or, over time, bullies succeed in making them that way.

They may do like I did in the earliest stages of bullying- “ignore the attacks without responding or fighting back. And we know how that usually ends.

Maintaining mind power and a healthy sense of self is the very foundation of self-defense and protection. Always remember that.

Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

Thoughts

When someone tries so hard to prove that they’re not something (a coward, a racist, poor, lacks intelligence, etc.), it usually means they ARE that “something” and they’re only desperate to hide it! Because if they know themselves and know in their heart that they’re not, there’s no need to prove it to begin with. The truth is just there.

I’d be suspicious of anyone who panders, virtue signals, and bends over backwards in order to “prove” something.

Why Bullies Discourage Targets from Pursuing Their Goals

“The reason bullies tell you, ‘You can’t,’ is because they fear that you can and are even more afraid that you will.”

If you’re working hard to better your life and pursue your goals and dreams, bullies  will discourage and dishearten you if you aren’t careful. If you’re a target of bullying, understand that it’s nothing more than psy-ops bullies are trying to use against you.

It’s all designed to suppress you and make you afraid of even trying because you risk the possibility of failing. Why? Because bullies know that if you keep trying  long enough, you’re very likely to succeed.

Bullies can’t handle the successes of anyone. And they most definitely can’t take it if it’s achieved by anyone they deem inferior. Realize that a bully’s feelings of power and superiority come from one-upmanship, and when his/her target succeeds at anything, it undermines that sense of superiority.

Jealousy

Proverbially, it takes bullies down a notch or two, which makes them angry and desire to put the target “back in their place.”

When you reach success, expect this type of attitude and behavior from your bullies. Know that it will reignite a lot of rage and jealousy in them. It will also induce the need to take revenge. “How dare you!” They will want to get even. No way will they stand for you rising above them!

When this happens, don’t be surprised. Instead of feeling bad, feel good because it only shows that your bullies are jealous and desperate to have what you have. Expect people to act ignorant and never apologize for any successes you’ve had.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Jobs School Bullies Usually Take Once They’re Out of School

Bullies thrive on power, dominance, and fear. They love positions of power and will often opt for jobs that give them either authority over people or prestige.

Here are some of the jobs bullies select.

1.Politicians. Remember that well-seasoned bullies are the biggest and most convincing schmoozers, liars, and convincers on the face of the Earth. They have a way of steamrolling their ways to the top. And why not? They’ve been politicking since they were in diapers and often have connections in high places who give them boosts up the ladder. Should it be any wonder we have politicians who schmoozed constituents to get into office, then do nothing once they get there? This is not to say that all politicians are bullies, but all bullies seem to be politicians.

 2. Law Enforcement Officer. First, let me start by saying that most police officers are great people who have my utmost respect, especially in today’s climate. They do a difficult and thankless  job. They put their lives on the line every day to keep us all safe and to prevent criminals from harming law-abiding citizens and their families.

However, like any profession, law enforcement also has its bad apples. And when people who were bullies in school take these jobs, they often become those bad apples in their departments- the very people who put shame on the badge. These bullies will abuse their power at will.

And it isn’t fair to the good cops who sincerely want to make a positive difference and make our streets safer. The good cops are the ones who suffer when this happens.

3. Correctional Officer. Even correctional officers have authority over inmates- just not all inmates because there are some inmates who flat out run penitentiaries. It happens. Bullies pick this job because in prisons, they get free rain to do to “select” inmates, usually, the inmates at the bottom of the social order, whatever they want, and what are those inmates going to do about it? It’s their word against the bully CO’s and whose word do you think the warden will take?

Even worse, bully CO’s also abuse the good and decent CO’s who are competent and perform their jobs well. My last husband worked as a Corporal in a penal institution before he died. And he told me a few horror stories. I also, have friends who work in the TDOC system and they too tell me that it isn’t the inmates they must watch out for, it’s their coworkers.

 4. Supervisors and Managers. Again, bullies love positions of power and once they take those positions, they usually have carte blanche to abuse who they select to bully. I can’t count the stories I hear of workplace bullying and of bully bosses who get drunk on power and destroy others’ careers and lives.

It seems that bullies can’t live without having power over another.

With knowledge comes empowerment

The Ultimate Power Take-Back

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success, and it’s the best poke in the eye/slap in the face to your abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of pushback from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this; if you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they feel intimidated.

If they didn’t feel threatened, if your voice weren’t powerful enough to intimidate them, if you weren’t speaking the truth, they wouldn’t be pushing back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth, and they’re scared to death of being exposed.

Here’s another point I want to make: Your bullies are more than likely angry they failed to accomplish their objective, and that objective was to destroy your life. They expected you to drown- to crash and burn, and you didn’t! That’s a huge disappointment to them and a blow to their fragile egos! And now, they’ve come back to try and finish the job.

But the good thing is that you should welcome their pushback because it only shows that they’re desperate. It should only inspire you to double down and spread awareness of bullying and reach out to targets with your message.

Their abuse should make you even more determined to continue warning others that, yes, such people exist. In my situation, it only compels me to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them to show the targets of today what to look for. In short, bullies and trolls only light a brighter and hotter fire under me. And they should you too.

Who’s in Your Cheering Section?

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The key to knowing who’s in your cheering section comes down to evaluating the impact the people in your life have had on your life. You assess how they made you feel about yourself, whether they encouraged you to better yourself or hindered you, and whether they abused you or treated you with kindness.

Did they have your back or throw you under the bus? Were they there with you when the chips were down, or did they disappear at the first sign of trouble?

That’s the criteria you look at to find out who’s got you. Sadly, so many ignore this.

You Can Overcome Shyness

Many targets of bullying, after people bully them so severely for so long, become painfully shy. I did. So, I understand entirely.

When a target has personal attacks hurled at them from every direction, and others scrutinize everything they say and do down to the tiniest detail, it’s easy for that person to withdraw, shut out the rest of humanity, and hide in plain sight. It seems to be the safest thing to do.

However, it’s a terrible way to live. Shyness is like a prison without walls. It stops you from being your true, authentic self, and you end up missing out on so much. Shyness keeps you from having fun and enjoying life.

When you’re shy, you don’t properly connect with others because you’re too busy thinking about yourself rather than others.

There. I said it.

You’re too busy thinking instead of connecting- thinking of what to say next, wondering what others are thinking of you and of how they can benefit you, and self-conscious of how you’re coming across. You’re too busy thinking about you!

But what if I said that there was a way to get rid of shyness? What if I told you there’s one- just one ingredient?

It’s true! Are you ready for it? Here it is.

How you get rid of shyness is to take the focus off yourself and become interested in others. And when you do that, you put yourself out there and take risks.

That’s it.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” How right she was.

When you’re so shy that you can’t bear social situations, it’s a sign that you’ve already given your power over to other people. Not good! You owe it to yourself to take that power back.

It won’t be easy. It may feel awkward at first. But put yourself out there and take risks. Greet people- even total strangers, with a smile and a “Hi. How are you?” You’ll be surprised at the positive outcomes you get and how your confidence begins to soar.

I know what some of you are thinking.

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“What if they reject me?”

Rejection is a part of life. You just have to deal with that. Better yet, embrace it. It’s a risk you must take. Life is full of risks.

But if you don’t take risks, you don’t really live, you only exist.

Realize that human beings love it when you’re genuinely interested in them. Let them tell you about themselves and listen not only with your ears and eyes but with your whole heart. Do it long enough, and soon, it will no longer feel awkward. You won’t even need to think about it. It will feel like second nature.

Only when you develop a genuine interest in other people will your shyness disappear. The key is to focus outside yourself.

So, get out there and schmooze it up! I guarantee that you’ll be pleasantly surprised not only at the results you get but how confident you feel!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Copping Out Behind Victimization

Too many survivors use victimization as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow. I have seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past and think that it’s the only way they can feel empowered again. Sadly, I was guilty of the same thing in high school. It isn’t something I’m proud of today.

Example: Some people may choose to rob a bank or burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor and felt like they didn’t get a fair shake in life. Again, they feel like the world owes them and that there’s justification for striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

When the law finally catches up with them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered because the perpetrators feel that being held responsible for what they did only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

These criminals fail to realize that we’re all still responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past. Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse. We’re all responsible for our lives, whether or not we admit it.

I could have gone on bullying others because people bullied me in the past. But where would it have gotten me? Nowhere! That behavior would have only brought consequences and more misery.

Wouldn’t it be better to learn from adversity and take accountability for your life? To try and make your life better than it was in the past? Of course, it would.

I promise you. You will be so much better off.