“TOWNIES, CRONIES, AND HAYSEEDS (Thrust into the Underbelly of Small-Town Politics)”

Townies, Cronies and Hayseeds

Shannon Crooke McGregor is a widowed mother of four children, living just outside of Tucson, Arizona, and has the life others only dream of having. She is a best-selling author and can make a great living doing what she loves most- writing novels. Every area in her life is close to perfect. Her writing career could not be better; she enjoys closeness with her family and lots of friends who adore her.

However, her life hasn’t always been rosy. Shannon is an adult survivor of vicious and relentless school bullying. How had Shannon risen above it? By moving to a new area to start a new life.

When her grandmother back in Thomasville, Tennessee suddenly dies, and Shannon inherits her grandmother’s two-story Victorian home and property, she must return to the home of her youth and a lot of terrible memories to make the necessary renovations and sell the house.

However, upon returning to Thomasville, Tennessee, she learns that the people who run the town are the bullies who had tormented her in school.

Spending the entire summer there, Shannon notices that most of the people in the town have regressed. And having acquired powerful positions in town, her ex-bullies have only grown more emboldened and evil. She also discovers a secret, illegal operation, and cover-ups. A long-buried memory of the brutal murder of Shannon’s only friend in school resurfaces as a result of a confrontation.

Even worse, Shannon has been carrying a horrible and devastating secret inside of her- a secret not even her children know but are about to find out. And because the townies continue to hold a decades-long grudge against Shannon and fear the possibility that she knows too much, they watch her and the children closely before upgrading to harassment. These unpleasant and frightening circumstances eventually snowball into a cumulative but explosive climax which puts Shannon, her children and her few new Tennessee friends in a race to save their own lives!

Will they make it out of Thomasville alive?

8 Ways to Help with Healing from Bullying Once You’ve Left a Toxic Environment

Chess board and text "Strategic plan" Business planning concept

Chess board and text “Strategic plan” Business planning concept

Bullying is very traumatic and makes such an impact on the self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life. The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker:

1. Seek Therapy. Though I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself. You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. Don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others about your care. Right now, you must do what’s best for you.

2. Rest. When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’re more than likely to be exhausted. Get plenty of sleep. Take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music. Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation, maybe some slow jams like TLC, or Keith Sweat? Or pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you feel upbeat and like dancing.

There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to some Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul hits or rocking out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

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Group of happy friends cheering with wine and beers at boat party. Diverse men and women having drinks at sunset yacht party.

4. Lean on the people who love you. When you’re recovering from bullying and a toxic environment, one of the most important things you need is a network of love and support to balance the positive with the negative. Keep company with the people who uplift you, love you and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most. Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities.

6. Exercise. Exercise is a major stress-buster. And you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out either in the gym or, if you don’t feel like going anywhere, a workout DVD.

The girl with a suitcase

The girl with a suitcase

7. Take a trip. After being in a toxic environment for so long, sometimes, we need to get away for a while. Visit a family member in another state. Embark on a camping trip in the mountains or hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of crashing waves. I guarantee that you’ll return home feeling much, much better!

8. Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals. You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. The key is not to isolate yourself. Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks, as alcohol is a depressant!!!!!!

Targets of Bullying, Here’s Why You Have So Many Reasons to Live!

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If you are a person being bullied and are considering suicide, this message is for you! Please hold on. Stay strong. Continue the fight.

Know that you deserve love and friendship just as everyone else does. Know that you are just as good as everyone else. Above all, rest assured that life will get much better! Instead of thinking of reasons why you should take your own life, think of reasons why you shouldn’t. There are so many reasons to keep living.

Let me put this another way. If you resort to suicide, you will cheat yourself out of the possibility of one day overcoming your present circumstances and out of so many exciting firsts. You will cheat yourself out of so many wonderful years that lie ahead.

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If you’re under 16, you will cheat yourself out of driving a car for the very first time and let me tell you! That feeling of sliding in the driver’s seat, behind the wheel of a car and your hands on the steering wheel? There’s nothing like it! It’s one of the most liberating experiences!

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You will also miss out on prom and high school graduation, another one of the most exciting and hopeful times of life.

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You will also forfeit the magic of falling in love and the joy of marrying your soulmate.

And I can tell you that love is one of the most intoxicating and fulfilling experiences life has to offer!

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And lastly, you’ll forgo the beautiful experience of having your first baby!

I want you to imagine yourself, five or ten years into the future: You’re married to your spouse and you’ve become a new parent. You’re holding that precious little life in your arms for the first time and gazing into that precious, tiny face! You’re now able to have a life beyond your own! You’re holding that soft, tiny body against your chest and watching it sleep against you! I can’t explain what that feels like or the love and joy that goes with it!

You have so many firsts…so many magical and beautiful moments yet to experience and enjoy, so much beauty yet to behold and so many awesome people, potential friends and family yet to meet!

However, if you die by your own hand, you’ll cheat yourself out of all of it! On the other hand, if you’re patient and you keep fighting, life will reward you with such beautiful moments!

Another thing I want you to consider is that if you give up, the bullies will automatically win! That’s right! Your bullies will win and you will lose! Do you really want to let them win? Do you really want to give them such an easy victory? Think about it for a minute. Really think!

As long as you are alive, there’s always a chance that things will improve…and improve drastically! But once you’re dead, that chance dies with you and there’s no coming back! Death is final and there are no do-overs! So, if you ever consider suicide, I beg you! Talk to a close family member and if you can’t talk to a family member, talk to someone! A loved teacher, a trusted friend, a stranger- someone!

And give yourself a chance! Give the people who love you a chance! Give love a chance! You won’t be disappointed!

I promise you that you’re worth it! If you continue to fight for yourself, I can guarantee that there will come a day when you will look back on this moment and thank yourself. You will look back and be glad that you fought the good fight and stayed alive. I’m living proof!

You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!

Would You Prefer to Be BOSS or a LEADER?

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There is a huge difference in a boss and a leader. I have had several bosses but not that many true leaders. Here is the difference between the two.

A boss is a demanding blowhard. He/She is bent on power and loves to lord it over the subordinates. He expects them to bow down. He is a bully and uses intimidation, threats and force to get his employees to do what he wants.

She has to literally make her subordinates carry out her wishes because although they would never tell her, the subordinates secretly do not respect her and naturally resist her demands.

A Leader is sincere and is a team player. He works with subordinates in order to get the job done and get it done correctly. He is never a show off and doesn’t toot his/her own horn.

She treats her subordinates with respect because she knows that in order to get people to do what she needs, she must treat them with respect and kindness.

A Boss browbeats and degrades his workers when they make a mistake. He’s arrogant and lets his position go to his head.

A Leader is down to earth. He addresses the employee who made the error, yet gives that person positive reinforcement or constructive criticism.

A Boss gets his point across by yelling, cursing, and abuse of his employees and often refers to them as “underlings”, “peons” or “‘his’ people”.

A leader gets his point across simply by having a great attitude toward his workers and being calm and level-headed. A leader refers to his subordinates as “people I work with”. Notice the word “with”

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A leader will work with you. A boss will make sure the whole company knows that he is “over” you.

A Leader is strong, competent and has impeccable people skills.

A Boss is a weak windbag and bumbling idiot who has to trumpet his own importance and authority to get others to notice and it often has an undesired outcome.

A leader will roll up his sleeves and help his people when a task is overwhelming. He doesn’t mind hard work. He will help you out when you’re having difficulty completing a task and he will work just as hard as you to help you finish the job.

A boss is useless and lazy. He will only stand over you, barking orders and watching you struggle. And he will do it complete with arms folded across the chest, legs wide apart and sour look or smirk on the face.

A boss may even secretly take pleasure in seeing the subordinates struggle.

People are drawn to leaders, enjoy working with them and love them.

On the other hand, people despise bosses and will cross a busy street if necessary to avoid them.

People are also more than happy to do what the leader wants because the leader always makes them feel valued. The leader naturally has others eating out of his hand with very little effort, whereas the boss only gets resistance from others and people will do the exact opposite of what he wants because the boss makes people feel low and taken advantage of.

A boss isn’t even an afterthought to others but a leader is unforgettable. A boss is a schmuck! A leader is a champion!

Bosses come a dime a dozen but Leaders are very few and far between.

Anybody can be a boss but it takes a very special individual to be a leader.

So, which would you prefer to work for? A boss or a leader? Better yet, which would you rather be? A boss or a leader?

Let Them Talk

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Gossips are everywhere! Too many people worry needlessly about what people are saying about them. But here’s the thing, people talk. They’re going to have something to say about you until the day you die. Get used to it. Better, yet embrace it! Love it!

Here’s Why:

1. When people talk about you, they make you relevant! Good or bad, it means you’re an exciting topic- you’re not dull. Remember that it’s much better to be good or bad then to be boring.

2. When people engage in petty gossip about you, it means that they can’t get you off their minds. Somehow, someway, positive or negative, you’ve made an impact on them. You’ve stirred emotions up in them.

3. When people talk about you, it means they don’t have lives of their own and are obsessed with yours, which means your life must be more exciting than theirs.

4. When people talk behind your back, they reveal much more about themselves than they do you. Remember the old proverb, “Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, and Small minds discuss people.”

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Persuasion concept. Man and woman whispering in girls ear. Copy space on yellow background.

5. When people can’t shut up about you, you’re the one who’s in control of them. Because you occupy a large amount of space in their minds, you’ve affected them profoundly and with little or no effort.

6. The people who blab about you expend a lot of their energy on you while you get to save yours. They’re thinking of you without getting so much as a thought from you.

7. When you’re the topic of others’ discussions, it means that they’re your fans, only they don’t know it.

8. In a nutshell, when people can’t stop running their mouths about you, it only means that you have a tremendous amount of power over them and you didn’t have to make an effort to get that power! Yay, you!

So don’t give their talk any validation by reacting. Just sit back and be amused by the talkers, provided it’s just petty gossip and not defamation. I’ll distinguish between the two in a future post.

10 Reasons Why People Make Excuses for Bullies

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Down through the ages, either at school, the workplace, or the community, people have made excuses for the behavior of bullies and it can be downright sickening to targets of such evil acts. Often, the bully has gotten away with it for so long that they get too comfortable and no longer try to hide it. It leaves targets feeling not only a sense of injustice and resentment but downright furious! Unfortunately, this happens all the time, and it’s nothing new.

If you’re a target of such brutality and find yourself wondering why people make excuses for bullies, here are your answers below:

1. They’re afraid of becoming the next target. Nobody wants a bully on their back, so they make excuses for the bullies to protect themselves from being ostracized and to keep from arousing the bullies’ anger. These people often “don’t want to make waves” or “rock the boat.”

2. They’re loyal followers of the bullies. Many people are under the impression that being friends or followers of the bullies will give them status, popularity, favors, and most of all, protection. And in many cases, it does. But in others, the followers are only being used and will be quickly dismissed as soon as they’ve “served their purpose.”

3. They hate the target worse than they hate the bullies. They take the lesser of two evils route. If people hate the target worse than they do the bullies, they’re naturally going to side with the bullies and help demonize the target all for the satisfaction of seeing the victim suffer.

4. It’s expected of them. And people will often do what’s expected of them to do in an environment. Many times, the bullying of a particular individual has become the status quo in that specific environment, whether it be a school, workplace or community. And no one wants to challenge that for fear of being marginalized and forced to join the target at the bottom of the heap.

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5. They prefer to “cheer for the winning team.” Many people will side with the person who wields the most power. When people are on the side of the winners or ones with the most power, they get a share in being one of the big dogs. Many times, there’s a certain amount of social status and prestige that goes with rooting for a particular clique, team or group who seems to be in charge and run the school, place of employment, or community.

6. They want to be a part of the in-crowd. (See number 5)

7. They think it will keep down the drama and allow some peace in that particular environment. Let’s face it. Bullying is stressful for bystanders and witnesses too. You don’t have to be a target for it to suck the energy out of you. All it takes for bullying to take the oxygen out of the room is for you to see it. So, people make excuses for the bully, often in their presence, to appease them and calm them down.

8. They’re bullies themselves. Birds of a feather flock together. People have a nose for and take care of their own.

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guilt concept – unhappy young sporty man showing his throat with gun-like hands for sign of low self-esteem, textured effects

9. For purposes of self-interest. The bullies benefit them somehow. If the bullies are stars on the school football team, star performers in a corporation, or successful business people in a community, they boost the image of that school, corporation, or district and often bring or attract money into the coffers of these entities.

The prevailing thought is this, “If someone makes me look good and is bringing in the money, I’d be a fool to do anything to jeopardize it!”

Also, in return for keeping their mouths shut or justifying their wrongdoings, bullies will often reward bystanders and witnesses with social status, perks, favors, and protection. Or the reward may be the feeling of importance in knowing that that they’re on the team that holds the most power and prestige.

10. They want to impress the bullies and be admired by them. Many people have a desire to run with the “cool crowd.” Therefore, they make excuses for them to impress them and win favor. They feel that if the bullies, who already have an overinflated sense of their own importance, think well of them too, then they must be hot items themselves. And it’s a huge self-esteem boost.

However, these people are only letting the approval of these bullies define who they are, which is dangerous. Because once the bullies decide they don’t need them anymore, it’s going to be devastating for them.

You must understand that there is a payoff in it somewhere. Human Nature dictates that none of us do anything unless it somehow, someway, appeals to our self-interests, even a little bit. If people are making excuses for bullies, you can be sure that those people are somehow benefiting from it, whether it be psychological, social, or material gain.

How Bullying of a Particular Person Can Become Status Quo and Why You Must Assert Yourself When it First Begins (Part 2)

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If the bullying is allowed to continue over a certain amount of time, even for as short as a few weeks, it will likely become the status quo with peers. Once it becomes the status quo, it’s virtually impossible to assert your rights without encountering a ton of resistance and reprisals.

The trick is to assert yourself immediately before the bully or bullies grow(s) accustomed to tormenting you because once they do, in most cases, it’s too late. Once it is too late, anytime you are brave and refuse to bow down to a bully, expect retaliation…expect to be severely punished for undermining the bully’s perceived authority or power over you.

This is a warning that you absolutely must heed. Anytime, one is repeatedly bullied over a certain period of time, it becomes a habit…a ritual for any and every one at the school or corporation. Anytime you muster up the spunk to say and/or do anything to assert, defend, or stand up for yourself, you are going against a status quo or perceived norm. And once you dare to go against any status quo, you had better prepare yourself for an all-out war!

You are a target! And bullies refuse to see you as anything but. As much as it may suck, when a person becomes a target of bullying, people- bullies, bystanders, and yes; sometimes even members of staff, consciously or subconsciously expect the person to stay a target. They expect you to put your head down and take it- and if you even attempt to grow a spine, they will do everything in their power to break it.

Anytime a person, who has been a target of bullies over a long period of time, takes steps to take back their power, the unspoken message of the bully is this:

“Whoa! You’ve been a doormat this long, so why NOW do you get uppity and decide to grow some sack?”

…all of which translates to an even deeper message that says:

“Holy Crap! We’re not used to him/her being so outspoken! This scares us! We’ve tried A, now we have to do B and if B doesn’t work, then we will have to resort to C to put this person back in his/her place and do it quick before we lose our foothold on her and therefore, lose the benefits that we have enjoyed at her expense!”

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This is because bullies are extremely frightened by change, especially a change in the power dynamic which has long been set. They and others want you to stay a victim because “it’s just the way things are done at this school or company.”

Also, bullies are benefiting from your victimization and they do not want to lose those benefits (social status, gratification, satisfaction, etc.)

Your bullies’ degradation of you has become habit- a ritual- a tradition. And your defending your right to be safe from harm poses the threat of change and most people cannot easily accept change, bullies especially.

Furthermore, bullies believe that it is their right to abuse their target. Yes! They honestly believe that they have a right to mistreat the person because they assume that they have absolute authority over their victim and that they are entitled to inflict misery on him/her.

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In the mind of a bully, you as the target do not have the right to undermine, nor question their perceived authority over you. Others believe that you deserve the ill treatment and that you owe it to them to put your head down and “just shut up and take it”.

If this does not tick you off enough to make you want to snatch your power back, I do not know what will. But before you can do so, you must have knowledge of the inner workings of these types of individuals. You must be wise to what it is that makes this type of person tick.

It’s imperative that you get abreast on the psychology of the typical bully, his/her background, motives, how and why the bully seems to escape accountability, and a host of other important and possibly life-saving information.

You absolutely MUST address it early on, as soon as you begin to see a pattern forming. Do not let it get so bad that you either fear for, or want to end your own life.

Bullying and The Rising Tide of Antisemitism

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The Jewish people and other minorities have been bullied all over the world, down through history, as have women. They’ve been intimidated by individuals, groups, corporations, schools, communities, and governments!

Recently, there has been an uptick of antisemitism from individuals, interest groups, certain celebrities, even government officials, such as Ilhan Omar and several others! They have also been attacked right here in America by Radical and Extremist Groups.

Understand that antisemitism, racism and sexism are all forms of bullying because there is a clear-cut power imbalance, and the evil committed against the Jewish people has been repetitious for so long!

People may not agree with me and may even get angry. But it is what it is, and I’m not going to hide it nor sugarcoat it.

Most bullies are bigots and racists because bullies are known to have hatred for anyone different from them in any way, although most of them would never admit it for fear of losing face. However, bullies must always have a target to degrade.

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So, they prefer to bully someone safer to bully and not as legally protected, such as a person who’s on the autism spectrum, who’s mentally ill, a member of the LGBTQ community, or an older person.

Understand that bullies despise differences from them in any way and you can bet that most bullies are only closet racists and sexists, but because they choose to go the “lesser of two evils” route and be more politically correct to play it safe, they only bully those to whom they can do it and get away with it.

Understand that racism is wrong, no matter who it’s aimed at! Antisemitism is wrong! Hate is wrong!

Just because someone is different in race or skin color, in the religion they practice, or lives a different lifestyle, it gives no one the right to mistreat them!

Eliminate the hate!

How Bullying of a Particular Person Can Become Status Quo and Why You Must Assert Yourself When it First Begins

A crowd of people surrounded the red man. Accusation of crime, mob law over a person, lynch court. The leader in the center of the crowd, the leader, an example for diving. Angry crowd

The torment of a particular classmate or coworker can become status quo or a habit­ if it’s not properly taken care of in the early stages.

Bullying of a certain individual is like a cancer that grows and spreads. A bully scans the environment, seeking whom he can torment. When the bully spots a possible victim, they test the waters by way of small snarky comments, backhanded compliments or anything which may cause the victim to feel uncomfortable.

The bully does this to see how the other person will react. If the individual on the receiving does nothing to assert their right not to be mistreated, the bully sees this as a green light for future bullying. Therefore, this individual has now become a target!

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Word soon gets around the entire school or workplace that this target is ripe for bullying and others will join in. As time goes by, the torment becomes more of a regular, everyday occurrence. More and more people will bully the target and the taunts and physical attacks become more and more brutal. The attacks then become harder to combat, thus it becomes more difficult for the victim to either get help or protection.

The bullying of the target has now become the status quo with the student body or employees and with the school or workplace. Others refuse to help the target either due to rumors and lies to discredit her, or the widespread belief that, “Well, no one likes her anyway, so there has to be some justification to it.”.

The power dynamic has now been firmly put in place and the status quo is maintained.
Finally, the victim feels trapped and either constantly lives in misery and fear for their own safety.

(Continued in part 2)

Even the Most Confident People have their Days

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Last night, a thought occurred to me that even the most confident people have days when they don’t feel too confident. I most certainly have them. I am a confident woman. I know where my talents are, I know all of my good qualities and bad, and I know who I am and what I want.

If I don’t like something, I take steps to change it and if it cannot be changed, I find ways to embrace it.

For the past decade, I have felt a peace I never before knew. Yet there are days when I don’t feel as confident as I should.

There are still times when I feel insecure and nervous. There are times when I feel my old shyness trying to creep back in.

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However, I refuse to give in to it and sometimes have to give myself pep talks to make the insecurity go away, then face the fear head-on.

I believe everyone has those days and I do not toil over it like I used to. I have accepted it as a part of being human and when insecurity does rear it’s ugly head, I either use my mind to make it go away, or I just let it pass.

So, I hope you remember that just because you are having a day when you don’t feel so good, it does not mean that you are not a strong, resilient and confident person. It just means that you are human and just like everyone else, you will have times when you do not feel as sure of yourself

9 Ways to Buffer Your Confidence from the Onslaught of Bullying

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If they destroy your confidence, they’ll destroy your life.

It’s a fact! If your confidence goes, your performance in school, or on the job, your social abilities, everything else will go too.

Think about it. Most bullied people do not do well in school or in the workplace if others do not treat them with fairness and respect, and give them space, opportunity, and freedom to learn and grow. Their performance takes a nosedive.

Anytime someone is bombarded with consistent put-downs, nitpicking, and abuse; their grades suffer because they stop believing in themselves and focus more on protecting themselves then on lessons.

Although we do hear of bullied kids who get mad, dive into schoolwork, and make exceptional grades and honors to compensate for their social failures, or a bullied worker will perform extra well to compensate and prove his coworkers wrong, these people are often the exception to the rule.

So, if you ever encounter bullying, you must guard your confidence and self-esteem with everything you have in you. Because your life truly does depend on it!

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Here’s how you protect your self-esteem and confidence:

• Do things you enjoy most.
• Display your talents and gifts.
• Keep company only with people who encourage, respect, and love you the most.
• Be there for others who are suffering.
• Take pride in your appearance, and look your best. Because if you look great, you feel great!
• Make affirmations- “I AM” statements to yourself everyday. “I AM beautiful”, “I AM smart”, “I AM better than what they say”, etc.
• Find a therapist to talk to.
• Tell the people who love you about what you’re going through.
• Whatever you do, Don’t be silent about it!

Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do!

For the Chronically Bullied: Whatever You Do, Don’t Wallow in Self-Pity!

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It all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice, not something that magically happens to only certain people.

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to get angry and to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you, humanity, and especially yourself! Know that bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. Although I realize that this is not always easy.

Understand that your bullies are lowlife cowards and fighting demons of their own, albeit the wrong way, and their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are. Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto their targets to keep other people from seeing the flaws that they have. It’s pathetic when you think real hard about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate. They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a thing. Understand that bullies bully out of only one emotion, fear!

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So, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself because self-pity is so unattractive and socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake, and the only thing it did was bring more misery and repel people.

Only when I began to counter my bullies’ statements with comebacks and positive self-affirmations did their words not have as significant of an effect on my self-esteem. In other words, my new, positive self-talk became a buffer to my bullies’ insults and name-calling, and I wasn’t nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

Remember that no matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you are the best thing God created. That you are the best, and sometimes, the best are the ones who get mistreated. If you must have this self-talk every minute of every day, then do it because any positive internal dialogue has to be consistent to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk and praising yourself for all your good qualities and know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you. Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions.

You’re worth it! Don’t you think?

A Target’s Predictability is Another Weapon Bullies Can Use

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Being predictable is dangerous. Because if a bully can predict your reaction or your next move, it’s game over. Remember that bullies are very socially intelligent, and they tend to spot behavior patterns in their victims.

Antique books with magnifying glass.

Bullies carefully observe a potential target, looking for any patterns of behavior, habits, and weaknesses. They closely monitor your reactions to everything, what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what excites you. They scrutinize the way you do things, even the way you arrange objects.

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They study your moods, body language, and expressions to feel out your emotional state. And in observing you, bullies leave no stone unturned.
Bullies are like bank robbers who case out a bank before pulling off the heist. The robbers get the layout of the bank, search for any vulnerabilities in the security system, and look for any patterns of patrols and the comings and goings there.

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Is it any wonder that being targeted for bullying can feel like being under a microscope? Like you’re being watched? It’s because you are!

Being too predictable is unwise when you’re bullied. Instead, make it a point to be unpredictable. Be as fluid with every as you possibly can. I know it won’t be easy because we’re all creatures of habit. It’s going to take work.

But understand that bullies fear a fluid person and will leave him/her alone if they aren’t sure how they’ll react. So, try new things every day, in everything. It will surely pay off!

The more you know, the better your defense.

Always Mirror the Bully to Disarm and Intimidate Her Into Leaving You Alone

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If a bully cuts their eyes at you, return the gesture. If she tries to stare you down, never look away because she will only take that as fear and from then on, you’ll be her new source of power. Always glare back without blinking and stand with your feet apart and arms akimbo to take up some space. This is known as a “power pose”.

You may have to stand that way and stare for a while if she sees your response as a challenge, but if you hold your position long enough, she’ll finally get tired and move on.

Understand that any time a person uses this type of body language toward you without your provoking them, they are clearly saying that they’re superior to you and attempting to dominate you. So always, always reciprocate any dirty looks and dominate or intimidating body language. Assert your power this way, and soon, the bully will get the message that you’re confident, fearless and not one she should mess with.

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It’s not what you say. It’s what you do. Nonverbal communication is over eighty percent of communication. Talk is cheap, and if your words don’t match your body language, bullies will pick up on it, and they will eat you alive!

If you’re the timid type, there are plenty of books you can read to learn confident body language and power pose. Once you read, practice and learn what nonverbal cues convey power, you must practice those poses until they become comfortable to you.

Remember that bullies always target someone they perceive to be unconfident, timid, and insecure because that person is least likely to fight back. To look confident, fearless and secure, practice open body language.

Stand with your feet apart and arms uncrossed (crossed arms are closed body language and make you look insecure and untrustworthy). When a bully confronts you, never look down or away. Always look the bully in the eye, and she will see that you aren’t afraid and likely move on to someone else.
The more you know, the better you protect yourself

5 Things Bullies Tell Others When a Target Stands Up to Them

Young girl bending down covering her face with her hands trying to protect herself from mens' fists, finger guns and hands pointing at her.

Any time a target gets tired of the abuse and calls a bully’s bluff. The bully will more than likely justify their behavior to others. Here is a list of the most famous statements you’re likely to hear, from most popular to least.

1. “She’s crazy.” or “She’s unstable.”

2. “He’s just mad because I called him out!”

3. “She’s so fake.”

4. “She’s too sensitive.” “She’s overreacting.”

5. “He’s a crybaby.”

6. “She doesn’t want to admit when she’s wrong.”

7. “I was just trying to help you.”

8. “She’s just jealous of me because of…”

The better you’re prepared…