I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective. However, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. ‘Wishing everyone peace, health, love, and happiness!
In the female target case, after her peers have bullied her for so long, she feels alone in the world. Also, when she reports the bullying only for others to rebuff her, the girl feels that no one cares. It’s bad enough when school staff ignore her pleas, but when members of her own family, refuse to listen to her, it’s twice as painful. And it’s even worse than that when they blame her.
What Bullied Girls Experience
Bullies shame female targets for their looks, femininity, and virtues. They call these poor young ladies names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and other names that attack her as a woman. People will use their weight and their appearance as a weapon to cause harm. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names bullies call them.
Consequently, if this goes on long enough, she’ll no longer feel loved by family and or her peers. Therefore, she will more than likely use the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. Some bullied girls turn to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on and crave so badly. This usually doesn’t end well.
What Bullied Boys Experience
However, it’s much worse for boys. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Society expects boys to be strong and tough. In other words, to display manhood. Bullies will often emasculate their male targets and all too often, the target sees no way to reclaim his manhood.
Bullies will do everything in their power to strip the target of his “manhood” and feminize him. And they do it by making him look and feel less like a man. They will often call him names such as, “sissy,” “pussy”, “bitch” and other names that attack the masculinity.
Also, people consider it “un-macho” for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, others refer young men who complain of being bullied as “whiners.” Other people will tell him to “toughen up,” “suck it up,” or “man up” because they deem it as against “man-code.” This can also erode male self-esteem.
Male Targets Have the Highest Rates of Suicide
Once bullies have stripped a young man of his manhood, it will become next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.
No matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.
We must also encourage females to speak out and get help, as well. Moreover, they must also have older female role models. And these role models must instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful. And they are good, beautiful and whole with or without a partner.
With knowledge comes power!
11 thoughts on “Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls”
Love this! It’s so true and important. I’m now reading Townies, Cronies, and Hayseeds and very much enjoying it!
You don’t know how much this means, Sara! Thank you so much! 💞💞💞
The main reason boys don’t report bullying is the beating or threat of it from the bully outside the jurisdiction of the school. Also back in my day, getting the police involved wasn’t heard of.
You’re right, Michael. That’s another factor. 💯
When I was bullied at Hanson Park Elementary in Chicago, I was often manipulated to be the victim – I was only 10 or 11 at the time and other kids often took advantage of me. Especially since I was one of only two disabled people in my class. The other person was a girl who tougher than me back then, so the bullies mostly left her alone. Her name was Erica. I remember we had a talk once when she revealed she didn’t have very many friends. We kind of bonded over that and understood each other a little better.
Once I told the principle herself about my situation. She called me and my bullies to her office. They turned the whole thing around and I ended up feeling sorry I even brought up the matter.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, Celt! Reversing the roles is exactly what bullies do when you report them. They’re really nothing but a bunch of cowards. And I’m so glad you made a friend out of the girl who bullied you. It’s those little victories that make life meaningful. 💖💖💖
Beautifully written 💕
Thank you so much! I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now. WP put this in my spam folder.
No worries about that. Love all your writing as I have been thru being bullied as well.
Thank you so much, Gabriel! This means a lot. Know that I feel your pain.