Why Being Bullied Impacts Grades

Being a victim of bullying can affect all aspects of a person’s life and they may be able to hide the pain and pretend everything is okay. However, the truth will show up in the falling of their grades. When this happens, two factors are at play here.

First, because of the intense circumstances which surround them (fear, hyper-vigilance, having to fight constantly), victims must focus so much of their time and energy on ways to protect themselves and also must be on constant look out for people whom want to harm them. This takes their concentration away from where it should be- schoolwork! How can anyone properly concentrate on lessons when they live in fear and constantly have to look over their shoulders? The human brain can only handle so much.

Second, it’s no secret that victims of bullying suffer from low self-esteem. After so long having been told that they aren’t good enough, victims begin to believe it themselves and a condition known as “learned helplessness” sets in. And it happens on a subconscious level, without the target even being aware of it. Victims simply give up and either stop trying altogether, or do just enough to pass by the skin of their teeth.

This was me when I was in school and a victim of relentless bullying. I lived in constant fear and had to grow eyes in the back of my head to keep from being hurt. Because of this constant state of alert, I could not properly focus on my studies. I soon grew tired, gave up on getting high grades and began to do just enough to get by. I just didn’t care as long as it was a passing grade and I made it to graduation. I no longer made plans to go to college. Instead, I only wanted to marry the first guy who made me laugh and settle into having a family after high school. It was the only thing I thought I would be good at.

Parents, if your child is a victim of bullying. Don’t stop fighting for them. Today, there are plenty of resources that offer support, guidance and love for victims and their families and there are things you can do. If you are a victim of bullying, don’t give up on yourself. It gets better, much better! You are worth fighting for! You are worth LIVING for! You can do this!

Facebook Sinks to All-Time Low by Allowing Murder to be Posted Live

During the last few days, I have seen news reports of how “Stevie Steve” Stephens murdered an elderly Ohio man in cold blood, at random and telling everyone to blame his estranged girlfriend for the act. What’s even more sinister is the fact that he did it live on Facebook. Even more atrocious is that Facebook ALLOWED the video to be publicly posted! I don’t know how long the video had been public, nor am I sure how many sets of eyes viewed it before they decided to take it down, all I know is that it was seen all over the globe.

How is it that we’ve gotten so desensitized over the years that people actually view murder as entertainment? How can Facebook allow such garbage to be posted publicly, knowing that the man had family who would more than possibly see it and that there are millions of children who also use them and other social media vehicles every day?

I’ve personally seen Facebook try to dictate to certain people what they can and cannot post. Surprisingly, however, the people Facebook censors are mostly people whom spread good news, positive posts, and whom never post anything harmful, threatening or lewd. So many of my friends in the Bullying Awareness Movement are being restricted, yet Facebook allows this creep to video himself slaying another human being! It seems that Facebook are only hypocrites whom continue to hold so many others to a double-standard.

I believe that Facebook is in dyer need of government regulation, limitation and stiffer competition through the development of a new and more wholesome social media platform. Too many highly inappropriate posts and videos are being posted on Facebook and too many psychopaths and freaks are given free passes by Facebook to post any garbage they want…posts and vids which anyone with any class and/or sense would never read or watch. Yet they advertise this garbage in the suggested sites navigation pain, even if you have never and would never go to these sites. If I was the type of person who wanted to see images of death and murder, I would go to rotten dot com (notice I didn’t post it as a link. Not on my blog!)

Sure, I use Facebook just as everyone does these days. However, I do see serious issues with this social media giant, which need to be addressed. I believe that we should be given better choices as to what we view. I also believe that Facebook needs to have a more robust moderation team, which evaluates posts BEFORE they are posted and they need to think about the millions of children who are on the grid and use good judgement. Once they do this, they just might be able to redeem themselves and become a better platform, therefore preventing children from seeing inappropriate posts for their age-groups and preventing families, like the family of the elderly Ohio man, from seeing the most horrible and unthinkable crimes against their loved ones. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Robert Godwin.

The Positive Side to Having a Few Enemies

What I’m about to tell you may sound strange to some and leave them scratching their heads. It did the same to me when my grandmother discussed the same with me in the car on a cold and rainy afternoon as we were coming home from shopping at the mall so many years ago. She said, “There is a bright side to having a few enemies.”

Being a teenager, I gave her a puzzled look and asked, “What could possibly be so good about that?” Now that I’m older, I understand what she was saying and I admire her for the wisdom she passed onto me.

Enemies can unwittingly teach us what to look out for in the future when we meet new people. From enemies, we learn to watch for a certain demeanor, mannerisms, body language, facial expressions and gestures. In doing this, they ultimately teach us ways to avoid people who pose a threat to our progress and physical and psychological well-being and who mean us harm.

More importantly, enemies also teach us to better appreciate the people who love us and to show unwavering and patient love to our loved ones AND to ourselves.

Our foes can also keep us. They can unknowingly motivate us to succeed in life and become better people. They can drive us to make more friends and excel in everything we do. Enemies keep us on our toes and can be used as the fuel that drives us to our dreams and ambitions. Just ask Kate Winslett. She used her enemies as her determination to reach her goals.

Enemies don’t have to be a bad thing. My enemies are my motivation! Always use your enemies and their evil games to your advantage. I am living proof that it WORKS LIKE A CHARM!

Hard Work and Determination are Nothing Without Confidence

You can have all the determination in the world and work like a slave but without confidence, you are just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Determination without confidence equals desperation and desperation comes from a spirit of lack instead of abundance. Our thoughts have a way of becoming our realities and the vibes we send out always come back.

Without confidence, it is a proven fact that you will not perform as well at school or work and it’s more likely that you will struggle with relationships. Confidence equals great performance, equals success, equals even MORE CONFIDENCE than what you had before!!!

Confidence and a winning attitude are what life is all about. One of my favorite speakers is Zig Ziglar and he talks about “Stinkin Thinkin” and the damage it can do to your confidence and self esteem. Everyone has fleeting thoughts of negativity that creep into the mind from time to time…everyone…including those who are the most confident. However, the difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that optimists refuse to entertain those thoughts. They immediately replace them with thoughts of positivity and therefore, keep it in their lives. If you are normally a Negative Nancy and you begin doing this, it will feel awkward at first. But the more you do it, the better you will be until it finally becomes like second nature.

So begin today! Turn negative thoughts into thoughts of success, gratitude, and happiness and watch situations change for the better…like MAGIC! I say this because it happened for me.

There will be failure. It’s just a part of life. But remember. Failure is the mother of success. Thomas Edison failed 99 times before he was successful with the electric light bulb. Can you imagine how he must have felt after five, ten, twenty…FIFTY failures? Can you imagine how others made fun of him, pointed fingers and laughed at him and told him he could never do it???

Thomas Edison could have indulged in negative thinking and allowed himself to give up. And he could have proven his naysayers and haters right. But he chose to see it through! He was confident enough not to quit! He had the determination to run the race until he reached the finish line and oooh! The rewards he reaped! So don’t you dare lose that confidence! Let no one still your joy nor your shine!

Always keep that confident momentum going and you will be on the right path for the rest of your life. With confidence and a winning smile and attitude, you can achieve beyond your wildest dreams!

God commands the Universe. And the Universe always gives you what you ask for. If you send a certain vibe out you always get it back, good or bad. If you are negative, you are unwittingly asking for more negativity and will attract negative situations into your life. But if you are positive, confident, happy and at peace then you are asking for more of the same and it shall be given to you. So keep showing your pearly whites and smile from the heart! Zig Ziglar also talked about a spirit of gratitude and counting your blessings! Being thankful, for even the smallest victories, is the fastest way to turn any negative into a positive. Mr. Ziglar was right!

Would You Prefer to Be or Have a BOSS or a LEADER?

There is a huge difference in a boss and a leader. I have had several bosses but not that many true leaders. Here is the difference between the two.

A boss is a demanding blowhard. He/She is bent on power and loves to lord it over his/her subordinates and expects them to bow down. He is a bully and uses intimidation, threats and force to get his employees to do what he wants. She has to literally make her subordinates to carry out her wishes because although they would never tell her, the subordinates secretly do not respect her and naturally resist her demands.

A Leader is sincere and is a team player. He/She works with subordinates in order to get the job done and get it done correctly. A leader is never a show off and doesn’t toot his/her own horn. He treats his subordinates with respect because he knows that in order to get people to do what he wants, he must treat them with respect and kindness.

A Boss browbeats and degrades his workers when they make a mistake. A Leader addresses the employee who made the error, yet gives that person positive reinforcement or constructive criticism.

A Boss gets his point across by yelling, cursing, and abuse of his employees and often refers to them as “underlings”, “peons” or “‘his’ people”. A leader gets his point across simply by having a great attitude toward his workers and being calm and level-headed. A leader refers to his subordinates as “people I work with”. Notice the word “with”

A leader will work with you. A boss will make sure the whole company knows that he is “over” you. A Leader is strong, competent and has impeccable people skills. A Boss is a weak windbag and bumbling idiot who has to trumpet his own importance and authority to get others to notice and it often has an undesired outcome.

A leader doesn’t mind hard work. He will help you out when you’re having difficulty completing a task and he will work just as hard as you to help you finish the job. A boss is useless and lazy. He will only stand over you and watch you struggle, complete with arms folded across the chest, legs wide apart and sour look or smirk on the face. A boss may even secretly take pleasure in seeing the subordinates struggle.

People are drawn to leaders like bees to honey and love them. On the other hand, people despise bosses and will cross a busy street if necessary to avoid them. People are also more than happy to do what the leader wants because the leader always makes them feel valued. The leader naturally has others eating out of his hand with very little effort, whereas the boss only gets resistance from others and people will do the exact opposite of what he wants because the boss makes people feel low and taken advantage of. A boss isn’t even an afterthought to others but a leader is unforgettable. A boss is a schmuck! A leader is a champion!

Bosses come a dime a dozen but Leaders are very few and far between. Anybody can be a boss but it takes a very special individual to be a leader. So, which would you prefer to work for? A boss or a leader? Which would you prefer to be? A boss or a leader?

Food For Thought

The Bullying Awareness Movement is a wonderful thing, just as it was intended. In the last ten to twenty years, we have learned so much about the inner workings of both bully and victim. Today, there is a wealth of information and resources available to victims anytime they need it.

However, be aware that bullies also read this information. Most do it for no other reason than to get abreast of the psychologies of their victims, then use the gathered info to counter any defenses their victims may use to protect themselves, tailor their attacks, and further torment their victims.

Just as criminals keep a very close eye on the news to see how close the authorities are to catching them, bullies also read anti-bullying materials and media to gauge their victims and learn everything they can about the “typical victim”. Once they learn the information, they can then tailor any assault to counter any attempts at self defense.

Although the Bullying Awareness Movement is beneficial to targets of bullying, it can be used as intel for bullies. Just as military troops would gather intelligence to know the enemy and win a war, bullies do the same to keep a foothold on targets.

Days Gone By

I feel sorry for people who didn’t grow up when I did. Every year, all Holidays were magical and we had REAL cartoons, not the teched-up and off-color cartoons of today. Every Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, we watched Charlie Brown (Great Pumpkin, CB Thanksgiving and Christmas). Saturday Morning Toons consisted of Road Runner, Bugs Bunny, Tweety&Sylvester, and other goodies. TV was actually enjoyable, none of the reality shows existed. Also, we actually enjoyed playing outside, climbing trees, riding bikes, skateboarding, playing hop-scotch, drinking out of water hoses, running barefooted and riding in the backs of pickup trucks. We were never afraid of getting dirty because we always bathed every evening after dinner. Meals were enjoyed at the table with family instead of on the couch in front of the television. When it was time to come inside every evening just after the sun went down, Mom would give out a loud whistle and we could hear that whistle for several blocks! When the streetlights came on, it was only a signal for all the neighborhood kids to get home. Those days weren’t just great. They were magical!!!