The Benefits of Getting Older


No one enjoys the thought of getting older, I’m no exception. However, if we’re lucky to live long enough, it is an unavoidable reality we’ll all face eventually. The reasons we fear the advancement of age is the loss of our youthful good looks, decline of physical strength and endurance and the rising possibility of illness and death…all very legitimate concerns.

I have often heard Judge Judy tell young litigants whom stood before her, “Beauty fades but dumb is forever”.
She is right. And I believe her definition of “dumb” is not level of intelligence per se, but the refusal to learn anything new and hold on to beliefs and values which may never benefit us. If we aren’t learning, we aren’t growing and being from a small town, I’ve met countless people my age whom haven’t learned much and continue to hold prejudices which should have long been done away with, while lamenting about and dreading getting older. But getting older is certain. Why not be grateful for each day given you? As the old saying goes, “There’s no fool like an old fool.”.

Intelligence and the wisdom we’ve gained over the years always trumps beauty, strength, health, or anything physical because once we’ve lost all the physical blessings we once had, smarts is the only thing we’ll have left before we finally leave this world.

There are many positives to getting older. Here are my takeaways:

1. I feel very blessed to have lived this long. A lot of people never make it to be my age.

2. Being older has made me confident and comfy in my own skin, giving me the freedom to be myself without fear.

3. I have become choosy of the people I keep in my life, preferring family and a few of my closest friends. I prioritize the people I love, who love me and who mean the most.

4. I don’t waste time with people who are fake or who don’t have my back. I love myself enough to walk away from toxic people who would otherwise bring me down and I can do it free of guilt.

5. It’s much easier to say, “NO”.

6. I have gained a truckload of knowledge and wisdom!

I wouldn’t trade any of these benefits for all the beauty or money in the world, which is why I don’t toil over my age nor do I hide it because I consider it an asset and a testament to how far I’ve come.

Mary Kay Ashe once said, “A woman who tells her age will tell anything.”
I disagree.
But a woman who tells her weight? Now there’s a woman who will tell anything!

Why I am an Advocate for Bullied Kids and Loyal Fan of PRINCE


My first Prince experience was when I was a little girl lying in the hospital, seriously injured after a near-fatal car accident. Being confined to a hospital bed with nothing to do but watch television allowed me the pleasure of watching “His Royal Badness” perform, “I Wanna Be Your Lover”. Though I don’t recall the show, I do remember being hooked…instantly!

With each album, “Dirty Mind”, “Controversy”, “1999”, and the iconic “Purple Rain”, the hungrier I became for more of his music…for more of him! If you are a fan like me, you can imagine my disappointment when my mother forbade me to purchase the “Purple Rain” soundtrack or see the movie. You can also imagine my heartbreak upon hearing of Prince’s death on April 21, 2016.

Sadly, I will never meet him backstage and he will never read this blogpost, which only proves that these words come from my heart…the heart of a loyal Prince fan.

I’ve loved countless bands and musicians, but Prince will always be at the top of my list of favorite artists. Let’s face it! The man was a genius, having the ability to play over twenty instruments and propelled several proteges (Vanity, Apollonia and Sheila E., to name a few) to stardom! Even more beguiling was his quiet demeanor and subtle charm!

Being a Prince-lover didn’t only mean bopping around my bedroom to his music, nor clamoring in front of the record store for the next new Prince tape or CD, nor waiting anxiously in front of the theater to see the next Prince movie. No! It also meant reading every magazine article I came across that mentioned his name.

While reading one such article, I found that “His Purple Majesty” suffered a humble and difficult childhood, one which included a broken home and school bullying- an article in which Prince thanked his bullies for his success.

I know what you must be thinking because I thought the same: “No way! Who would ever bully Prince???”

When I listen to “The Beautiful Ones” and hear the lyrics,

“…paint a perfect picture
And bring to life a vision is one’s mind
The Beautiful Ones always smash the picture
Always every time…”,

I can’t help but think of bullies and abusers whom take pleasure in destroying others’ confidence, happiness, creativity and dreams!

Prince never gave up on his, regardless of others who constantly flooded his ears with negativity. I say this because I can relate to what he must have endured.

Not only was I bullied, I knew others whom were as well, one of whom was Dominic (not his real name), a boy I knew in middle school. Being the new kid and having moved from New York, Dominic suffered daily mocking, horrible names and physical beatings at school. Yet he continued to smile, be himself, and push through each humiliating day with hope and optimism. I looked up to this kid because, like Prince, he had the heart of a lion!

As a published author and advocate, not only do I admire Prince, but also the multitudes of everyday people whom persevere under overwhelming pressure. It’s the unsung heroes and heroines…the little people, the have-nots and the unknowns whom struggle with no notoriety, awards or huge, adoring fan-base who are the real stars!

Because they continue to dig deep within themselves and claw their way through endless adversity with a smile,just as Prince did on his way up, they are the heart and soul of humanity…the true definition of courage!

To anyone who is knocked down and drug through the dirt, consistently and over time, and still manages to jump back to their feet and remain optimistic? All I can say is, “Wow!”, because I am amazed at their bravery and resilience! I doubt I could ever have half the strength these people have!

To the Princes, the Dominics…the fighters and underdogs…the soldiers who battle alone, yet continue to shine and follow their own hearts, amid struggle and overpowering hardship, I solute you!

Rest in Peace, Prince Roger Nelson! I will always solute you!