Play Salad


My brother and I come from the last generation of outdoor kids. When we were small children, there was no internet, no smartphones, no computers with virtual games. We played by using our imaginations, and when we’d pretend, we were so imaginative and inventive. We had a sense of wonder about the world that I believe most of today’s kids lack.

Many times while playing together outside, my brother and I would pretend that we were making a salad. We’d grab one of the bowls from my toy dish set, or we’d take a lid from a metal trash can and turn it upside down to make a huge plate.
We’d pick the large, green leaves of the hydrangea bush, which grew on the west side of the house to use for our lettuce. We used the petals from withering carnations for the tomatoes, crumbled old, dead leaves from the past Fall, or peeled the bark off the trunks of crepe myrtles, then crumbled them into little pieces for the bacon bits. We would also use the yellow pulp from dandelions for the shredding cheese, then pour muddy water into the salad as the dressing. Finally, we’d sprinkle dirt as pepper onto our creative little concoction and use sticks as utensils as we both would pretend to eat it.

We’d often use thick mud and a stick to stir it when pretending to make a chocolate cake. We’d “bake” it in the “oven” which was a small, cardboard box.
During those days, our imaginations ran wild, and life seemed so fresh, shiny and new. Everything was exciting back then. These are precious memories I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world, what I wouldn’t give to start over and do it all again!

It was a different world then. Simpler. More carefree. And much, much safer! In those days, we never had to worry about drive-by shootings, sex-traffickers, or terrorists. The worst we had to fear was getting our butts spanked for getting too dirty and coming home late for dinner, falling and skinning a knee while skating or riding our bikes in the street, being beaten up by neighborhood bullies, or our teacher’s wrath for chewing gum in class, playing hooky or failing to turn in homework. How I wish today’s kids could get a glimpse of the world in which my brother and I grew up!

Girls Who Think Male Bullies Are Attractive (Part 2)


Fast forward five, ten, twenty, thirty years, and you’re now married to this guy. He’s coming home drunk, late or both. He’s cheating on you with different women and putting you at risk of catching an STD. Even worse, he seems to want to sleep with any woman but you! He’s also insulting you, psychologically abusing you and beating the crap out of you every night. It’s not so funny anymore!

Remember the smaller boy that he beat up in school? The trim, long-haired girl in the tight jeans he slut-shamed? The fat girl, the girl with the glasses and braces he cruelly taunted? That mentally disabled kid he slapped and mocked? You now suffer the same abuse they suffered. The same kids he abused, and you thought were losers? Now, you are them!

Now it’s you getting slapped around. You are getting your butt kicked between your shoulders every night he comes home wasted and having cheated with other women. You are the one treated like a pile of manure. Now it’s you who’s sitting at home alone crying every night, wondering what you did wrong. He’s not so sexy now, is he?

Oh, my God! You never thought he could ever do that to you! You never even dreamed that anything like this could ever happen to you! My, my! How the tables have turned! Isn’t it funny how life can suddenly flip the script on an in-control little queen bee like you?

And what stings the most is that most of the kids you and he thought were losers? They’re the ones who are now enjoying happy, healthy relationships, marriages, and family. They’re enjoying successful careers to boot. It doesn’t seem fair to you!
“But how can that be?” You wonder. “They were supposed to be the losers in life, not me! Not us!”

Although I may sound cruel and unfeeling here, I hope that you will think before you get into a relationship with a guy who everyone thinks is cool but who is a complete dirtbag. Understand this. If he mistreats those who are perceived to be losers, you can bet that he will do it to you too.

Get out now while you can. Spare yourself years of heartache and pain. You owe it to yourself. Most of all, treat others, no matter their stations in life, with kindness and respect. Because karma is a booger and it will catch up with you years later. I guarantee it.

Girls Who Think Male Bullies Are Attractive

Arrogant Young Man With Girlfriends

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

So, you think these guys are attractive? Sexy? Hot? If you’re like most young, naïve, and often shallow girls, you prefer the bully- the bad boy! Why? Because he brings excitement, adventure, drama, and mischief, which is alluring, especially to females who are bullies themselves. He drives the hot car, wears the sharpest clothes and his parents seem to have all the connections in town! He’s a real star!

You like that he’s seemingly fierce, brutal and in control (of others) because you’re like the majority of teens, you equate those qualities with manliness. The bully boy seems to be the very definition of masculinity, and other girls are attracted to him like moths to a flame. Because he seems to be the embodiment of manhood, you want him. You get turned on when he beats the crap out of the smallest boy in the class, whether or not the smaller boy asked for it.

His blood is flooded with testosterone, and it shows! You smile, laugh, or even join in when he slut-shames the trim girl with the tailbone-length hair and tight jeans. You think it’s hot when he cruelly taunts the fat girl or the girl with glasses or braces. You love it when he displays his so-called manhood by asserting dominance over the mentally disabled kid in school, slapping and mocking him in the hallway between classes. You laugh with him, and your friends want to be in your place because he’s a big deal and everyone admires his strength and power (or lack thereof).

You secretly think to yourself, “What a MAN! And I must be one hot mama myself because this man is with me- ME! Otherwise, he wouldn’t have chosen me! He can have his choice of any girl in the place, but he chose me!”.

You make fun of another girl’s boyfriend because he doesn’t look quite as good as the stuffed-shirt you’re dating. Never mind that he treats her with respect and she just might think her boyfriend looks better than yours. You get hostile with and want to bully the girl whose rear-end your god of a boyfriend groped while you weren’t around or the girl to whom he makes inappropriate sexual comments. It doesn’t matter that the girl has some sense and thinks he’s a real POS.


You’re not concerned that she felt violated and wanted to punch his lights out when he did that to her. You still give him a free pass and blame her for his being a jackass.

You gladly overlook him because you admire, even worship him. You kiss his butt and the very ground he walks on. You want him, and even better, you have him (or think you do). You’ve got it goin’ on, girl! Because you’re dating a guy who’s the most popular guy at school and whose badassery is so well-known it has become a legend; honey, your ego is soaring, and your head is ten times its normal size! That is until (wait for it)- until(gasp)- he turns on you!
(To be continued)

Nonverbal Language of Bullying from Head to Toe (Part 2)

Female Track Competitors Glaring at Each Other

In the last post, we stopped at the chest and shoulders. This post covers the rest of the body.

Arms- Akimbo. The arms of a bully are often akimbo (elbows out, hands on hips, thumbs forward). This makes the bully appear bigger and more powerful. This is also used to intimidate any opponent and show power and superiority. To ward off bullies, stand with power and send the message that you won’t be a victim. Crossed Arms. When coupled with the jutted chin, bullies will also cross their arms anytime they’re facing someone. Crossed arms are not only a sign of superiority and power, they are also considered closed body language because when a bully crosses his arms when facing their opponent, they are “closed” to anything the other person has to say. Note that victims will also cross their arms in intimidation when confronted by a bully. However, the difference is that instead of using the jutted chin, a victim will lower the head, hide the neck and slouch. This is where paying attention to clustered body language comes in. To keep bullies away, never slouch, lower the head nor hide the neck. Always look confident!

Hands- The Clenching Fists. The bully will often clinch their fists when they want to physically attack their opponent. Always see this as a sign the person wants to harm you and be ready in case they do.

Mid-Section- The Crotch Expose. This is done mostly by boys and men. Although it is a sign of sexual interest in a potential mate, it can also be used to intimidate and for dominance and power. Trust me. You’ll know the difference. If you are male, return the sentiment. If you are female and this is used by a male bully for intimidate, either stand facing the bully with your feet apart and hands on your hips and challenge him with a glare or give him a dismissive look and walk away.

Legs- Legs Apart. Most bullies stand with their feet shoulder-width apart to appear bigger and more powerful. Confident people also stand this way. Therefore, if you want to appear confident and ward off bullies, this is how you should stand. There’s also The Dominant Leg Backstep. This is when the bully steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes! If you see the bully step back with one leg, be prepared to fight!

Feet- The Toe Point. Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading. The toes always point to where the person wants to go. If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction. If the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you and their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the other cues their body will give you.

It pays to observe!

To Be Insulted by Bullies, You Must Also Value Their Opinions

Laughing classmates pointing fingers at female pupil with school bag, bullying

Laughing classmates pointing fingers at female pupil with school bag, bullying

“In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though!”
~ T-Ronn Hicks ~

It’s a shame I didn’t realize this nugget of truth when I was young, but it’s true! When we value someone’s opinion of us, we’re naturally going to be hurt, angry, upset, insulted; if their opinions of you aren’t favorable.
The people who we consider important and can help to grow and shape us into better human beings, lift us up and help us to feel better about ourselves and reach our goals (our families, friends, teachers, mentors, and supervisors) are those whose opinions we should value.

On the other hand, if we don’t consider certain people important, we will not give value to their opinions. Also, there are people who do not deserve to have their opinions valued by us and those people are those who hurt abuse us.

Crazy young man in white shirt standing and screaming at woman i

Crazy young man in white shirt standing and screaming at woman in pink dress. woman dont care and looking at camera with toothy smile. indoor studio shot, isolated on light brown background.

Bullies are such people. I want you to understand that if a person hurts you physically, emotionally, psychologically or socially; any opinions that person has of you hold no value and should be considered null and void! That person should be of no importance to you whatsoever because they can bring absolutely no good to you or your life!

You should only value the opinions of those who love and care about you and are down for your good and your advancement! Not of those who continually tear you down, wreck your self-esteem and belittle you. They should have zero significance to you.
It doesn’t matter if they are in a high position, the most popular person, have the most money, etc. If they consistently tear you down, they’re no good to you and you should just blow them and their opinions off and keep going.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t assert yourself if someone violates your boundaries because you should! However, don’t let it cause you to feel bad about yourself or love yourself any less. Blow off the petty put-downs of bullies, because more than likely the insults they spew have no merit in the first place!

I know it’s not easy. Believe me. I’ve been there. It took too many years for me to finally realize this important rule of life but I’m glad I finally did. Better late than never. But I want you to know that you can do it. How you give these leaches to your confidence is to avoid them as much as possible and only keep company with the people who have your best at heart. You will know who these people are. Your gut will tell you. So, listen to that gut instinct and pay attention to the vibes others around you put out!

I guarantee you that you will thank yourself later!