A Message to My Former School Bullies

Who hasn’t made lots of mistakes and poor choices in their youth? However, the difference between me and you is that I’m woman enough to admit my past BS and I don’t tuck my tail between my legs and run from it, nor do I highlight the mistakes of others just to cover my own.

The difference between me and you is that instead of burying my past, I use it as my motivation to reach out to the victims of today, whom are stuck in a toxic learning environment and forced to tolerate people like you.

The difference between me and you is that I no longer feel the need to put on a fake persona…to break my back to be someone I’m not. Because unlike many of you, I’m secure in myself as both a person and as a woman, and fully aware of the good I bring to this world, the good I’m capable of, the successes I can enjoy and the positive impact I can make in the lives of others. And unlike you, I give myself the freedom to be myself, no matter who may or may not like it.

The difference between me and you is that I succeed by the grace of God and by my own merit. I don’t rely on small-town politics, nepotism and outright lies or half-truths to get along in life.

The difference between me and you is that my life isn’t all about appearances, whom I can impress, now many friends I have nor how well I can keep up with the Jones’s.

The difference between me and you is that most of you would never have survived had the shoe been on the other foot. I did survive. Better yet, through your despicable treatment of me, I became stronger and wiser. So you were right about one thing…I was and still am different from you.

You see? The beauty of getting older is the realization that I never needed approval nor validation from any of you. You only brainwashed me into believing I did. I realize that not all of you are guilty of bullying, nor are some of you the same sniveling punks you were in school. Therefore, this article doesn’t apply to everyone in this class. You know who you are.

I no longer care what any of you think, say nor do I respond to any threats of retaliation for my daring to speak out. Why, you may wonder? Because I see it all for what it truly is- a load of empty threats and useless rhetoric.

So go ahead. Get your feelings hurt, hate all you want, make all the threats, lie, gossip, spin it anyway you like. Get mad, get glad, do whatever moves you. But you will never silence me. I will continue to stand by everything I’ve written and in my own truth.

Because we all know that anything you say against me and anything I’ve written is only a weak and pathetic attempt to save face. Anyone outside of this class and outside of high school knows that I’m a great person with a good heart and good head on my shoulders and that’s enough.

Every person is a roller-coaster composed of highs and lows, stops and starts and positives/negatives. We’re so much more than our negatives. So I was never “crazy” (I’m sure you knew it all along but refuse to admit it). Did I have my crazy moments? Absolutely. And I don’t have to tell you who I have to thank for it.

In conclusion, I now see that you only used me to make yourselves feel, look and seem better than you really were. To put it bluntly, you hid behind me…but that’s where you belonged in the first place…BEHIND me.

And now, I get to use you as fuel to my success and to reach out to those whom suffer the same horrific treatment you dished out to me years ago! Sorry! OOPS! Not sorry!

Victims, Just Because Your Bullies Say That You Are Crazy, Doesn’t Mean They Really Think It!

It was the same with my classmates. No,they never thought I was crazy. What they really thought was that I was weak. The “crazy” moniker was only a tool devised to discredit me and a way to gaslight in attempts of making me doubt my own sanity, which allowed them to cover their own behinds and continue the abuse as they pleased. Bullies never prey on crazy and deranged, they prey on weak and powerless!

Think about this. If you know that someone is, in fact, crazy; would you provoke them? No. You’d get away from that person and you’d STAY away! Anyone would! Because like most, you associate “crazy” with “dangerous”, knowing that the risk of provoking such a person is too high. You wouldn’t poke the proverbial sleeping bear!

Bullies always pursue those they perceive as weak. They’re much too cowardly to risk harassing a lunatic because this type of person usually has no concept of right and wrong and could easily hurt, maim, or possibly kill them and they know it.

The “crazy” label was the easiest for my classmates to use because although they could never prove that I was crazy, they knew that I could never prove that I wasn’t. And although I knew for certain that I wasn’t deranged,no one else knew it for sure because they weren’t me and instead of taking the time to get to know me, they were too busy passing judgement. Sanity is THE hardest to prove (See my article, “The Crazy Label: The Easiest and Most Used Weapon in the Bully’s Arsenal”).

My classmates would provoke me to bait me into a reaction and if they didn’t get the reaction they desired right away, they would continue the torment with increasing frequency and intensity until I became exhausted and broke under the cumulative pressure. They would then look at any witnesses and say, “See There? Do you see??? I TOLD you she was crazy! Look! She just proved it!” (See the Article, “The Three ‘B’s of Bullying: Baiting, Bashing and Blaming).

This, folks, is how bullies do it! They bait you until you’re worn down and you SNAP! Then they bash and blame you, using your perfectly normal reaction as validation of their claims against you! And sadly, others are duped into believing them!

Take this as your guide and use it to call your bullies out! It just may save your life!

Bullies Aren’ t Any Better Than Anyone, They’re Just Better at “Faking It”

If you’re a victim of bullying, I want you to know that regardless of what your bullies may tell you, or what pretty picture they paint of their own (perceived) importance, they are, in reality, no better than anyone else. They’re only “better” at being fake and hiding it. Bullies have to prove themselves to everyone…constantly!

You see, their so-called popularity is based on lies. Bullies are followers…sheep, and they expect everyone else to be the same. Bullies have to lie and put on fronts to be cool, having to work very hard to maintain those fake facades. They’ve been doing this their entire lives and/or have parents who do the same, which is the reason they’re so good at it! Lying and faking only comes natural to them. They hate anyone who has the courage to be their true authentic self. Why? Because they don’t have that courage and are secretly jealous of anyone who possesses it. It takes hard work and consistency to put on an act. Therefore, they must work a lot harder than those who are authentic and they don’t like it!

Oftentimes, bullies will lash out at victims out of desperation when they fear that their facade is crumbling and the real person behind the mask they wear risks being exposed.

Think about it this way, bullies have so much to lose, more to lose than you do. They have no “real” personalities and they know that any day, any moment, you as the victim could expose them (psst! you have the power to expose them for the garbage they really are, you just don’t know it yet). Your blindness to this power is exactly what they count on, which is the reason they go out of their own way to torment you and keep you blind.
Bullies fear losing power over their victims. They’re good at distracting others from their own quirks and flaws by pointing yours out.

As long as they can keep control over you by keeping you trapped in the abyss of low self-esteem and lack of confidence and as long as they can prevent you from regaining confidence, the less chance they have of you standing up to them, exposing them for the cowards they truly are and ultimately turning everyone against them, knocking them straight to the bottom of the social hierarchy.

Folks, bullies truly are just as scared as you are. They’re only better at concealing it! And if you are a victim, I want you to take heart in what I’ve just written here…and USE IT if you must!

This may (or may not) come as a small comfort if you are on the receiving end of harassment and torment at school. But it should. I just tore off the bully’s mask for you!