Month: January 2022
2 Reasons Why Bullies Like to Target Classy Chicks and Good Girls
Before I start, I want everyone to know that in no way am I judging anyone who is sexually liberated. If it’s what makes you happy, then do your thing. Live how you want because we all have free will. So, I won’t attempt to do a job that’s only God’s to do.
But when bullies who are sexually liberated (and the vast majority of them are) mistreat and label classy women and good girls because they choose not to live the same lifestyle as they do and to save themselves for true love, that’s when I’m going to have something to say and I can tell you that some people won’t like it.
So, here goes.
Have you noticed that it’s almost never the not-so-good women and butt-floss wearing females who get targeted for bullying? It seems that it’s mostly the girls who are discreet and have self-respect who are the worst treated. They’re excluded, ridiculed, and made to feel like they don’t matter. Moreover, it seems to be the former who go after the latter.
But why?
1.Pop culture and music. We get subliminal messages from the music, movies, TV, and other media outlets that push the narrative that it is okay to act like a, dare I say, “ho.” Girls listen to a lot of “thot-pop” and watch videos of overrated stars like Cardi B and Miley Cyrus, who bare it all and commit blatant sexual acts for all the world to view right from their livingrooms. Who remembers either watching or hearing of Cardi B’s raunchy performance with Megan whatshername live to her infamous “WAP” song?
Sadly, our girls are getting the message that it’s okay, and worse, completely normal to let it all hang out and to act inappropriate in public- that it’s completely fine to cheapen themselves and make themselves nothing more than a sex object- that it’s better to use your behind rather than your mind to get ahead in life. Society is embracing the wrong values and bullies are persecuting the classy ladies who don’t or won’t jump on board the illicit “sexualize yourself” bandwagon.
(This?)
(or this?)
The running narrative is that anything goes, and that showing belly, boobs, and butt is what it takes to get a man, when, in reality, no guy who’s worth his salt would even consider a long-term relationship, much less marriage with such a woman.
2. Bullies and sadly, most of society, are under the false belief that classy women are old-fashioned and boring. It’s no secret that bullies prioritize the wrong things (attention, approval, admiration, and popularity). So, they’re all for engaging in indecent behavior and stripping down to nothing if it will get them lots of those social benefits. Because bullies are all about being idolized and worshiped while sneering at others who aren’t ratchet and slutty like they are.
But! Here’s the thing. Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t only that bullies consider classy women and good girls to be old-fashioned and boring. It just might be that bullies know that classy women and good girls would never bow down and worship them- these are the females who won’t give them the validation they’re seeking and worse, who might reject them! Gasp!
So, again. Why do people bully good girls and classy women?
Because a good, classy, down-to-earth lady respects herself too much to kneel before anyone. And the narcissistic she-bullies are more than likely to be the butt-cheek baring, all-eyes-on-me, girls. And the lady deems attentions-seekers to be of the lowest common denominator. Therefore, such females aren’t worth her time, and the she-bullies know that and are angered by it.
God forbid that anyone they deem inferior rejects them. I mean, think about it. Maybe that’s why these she-bullies are so hell bent on bringing the decent and classy women down is because, deep down, they know these women already look poorly on them. They have an I’m-gonna-get-you-before-you-get-me kind of attitude.
So, to all the good, decent, and self-respecting classy young ladies out there, this is my message to you.
Know that your worth is so much higher than the she-bullies and their tomcat male counterparts who bully you. Because you have standards, a strong sense of self and know that you’re not sex objects, you chose to expose your mind and not your behind. And one day, it will be highly valued by a real man who truly deserves you and wants to love you.
Know that your worth isn’t determined by the eye candy and cheap appearances you can offer men, nor is it determined by what you can do for them. Your worth is determined by what you can do for yourself and how well you treat yourself and others.
That’s why the best thing you can do is to be a lady because it is the ladies who end up being the winners. They don’t have to resort to cheapening themselves to get male attention or to fit in and they don’t accept attention from the cheap tomcats who crawl up behind the she-bullies.
The beautifully decorated, yet half-naked she-bullies are a dime a dozen. The she-bully only attracts the dogs- the beta-men who only pose as alphas- the cheap playboys who are only there to hit it then quit it.
But a lady is a keeper. She’s not a one-date wonder or a one-night stand because she knows she’s worth more than just her body. The lady doesn’t care what petty people think of her. She doesn’t give a hoot that the she-bullies and their tomcats look down their noses at her because they don’t matter.
It is the lady, the once-bullied classy chick and good girl who will score a high-value man because she is a high-value woman. And because of this, the lady will live a good life because she has good morals she chooses to live by. And the morals they have are, in fact, so strong that they’re unchanged by the decaying society in which we unfortunately live.
Instead of being half-naked to fit in, the lady will stand out by keeping her clothes on. This doesn’t mean she dresses like a nun, but she keeps it classy. And that’s why you’re already ahead of the game.
She-bullies are only good for a one-time roll in the sack.
Ladies, on the other hand, are wife for life material.
I can’t stress this enough. Don’t let the desire to fit in cause you to relax your values, your morals, your beliefs, and your convictions. Hold on to your standards. Things may be lonely for you now but the things about you that your bullies snub and ridicule will be the very qualities that real people, men and women, with strong beliefs, values, and confidence will cherish. You just wait!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
You Still Have Power
5 Differences Between a Happy Life and a Crappy Life
Let’s face it, most people aren’t happy. Rare is the person who is happy. Believe it or not, most people live crappy lives and it’s the reason why rates of depression and suicide are so high. It’s also the reason we have so many people who have anger issues and who only know how to use violence to get their needs met- it’s the reason we have so many bullies and abusers running around terrorizing people.
With bullies, using fear and force to coerce others is the only way they can feel in control. Without their targets to push around, bullies would have to take stock of their own lives and admit that they’ve lost control over their circumstances.
Many targets also live crappy lives because they try to put on a fake persona to keep from being bullied and only achieve the exact opposite. Or they stop believing in themselves because others have discouraged and beaten them down for so long. They may also hang onto lowlife people they should let go of just to keep from being alone.
So, what kind of life would you like to live, a happy life or a crappy life?
Naturally, you would choose the former. Naturally, we all want to live a happy life. However, the sad thing is, not everyone knows how and because they don’t know how to go about achieving happiness, most people stay stuck on autopilot. So, let’s break it down.
What does it mean to live a happy life? And what does it mean to live a crappy life?
Here goes:
1. To live a happy life means to walk away from people who are not healthy for you. It means turning your back on people who subtly abuse you and who only use you to get something from you. It means saying goodbye to those who only come around when they want or need something. In short it means ditching the people who don’t value you and finding better people who will.
To live a crappy life means putting up with people who aren’t healthy for you. It means letting abusers and users stay in your life and continue to use and abuse you. It means not having the guts to tell these people to take a hike because you’re afraid of being alone and friendless. It means tolerating people who only come around when they want something and when they do, giving them what they want freely, while wishing and hoping to the heavens that they will see your value.
But here’s a newsflash! They won’t as long as you don’t value yourself enough to confront them and tell them to step off. And even then, they may never value you but wouldn’t you much rather do bad by yourself rather then put up with those who haven’t earned the time of day from you, much less your love and respect?
2. To live a happy life depends on how you spend your free time. It means spending your leisure time doing the things that you enjoy- making time for play. It also means using it to grow yourself- by exercising and getting healthy, by reading books and learning something to grow your brain and expand your mind. It means focusing on your hobbies and interests. It also means working on your goals.
 A happy life won’t just fall into your lap. You must create your own happiness.
To live a crappy life means to sit on your butt and watch TV all afternoon. Some TV isn’t bad and can be enjoyable. But when watching TV is all you do, you get sedentary, you get lazy, and you get stagnant. Living a crappy life also means refusing to learn anything. I know people who hate to read and therefore, stay stuck because they don’t learn anything new. I also know people who don’t have goals, hobbies, nor interests. And it all makes for a boring life. Also, because they don’t have those things, these people tend to get into trouble with the law- they may go out and get drunk or high because they’re so bored. It only sets them on a path to misery and destruction.
3. To live a happy life means being yourself and owning your quirks and flaws. It means speaking your truth even if others resent you for it. It also means owning your emotions, the good and the bad ones, instead of burying them. It also means making fun of yourself when you fall on your keister from time to time.
To live a crappy life means to be someone you aren’t. It means being a fake, a fraud, an imposter. And what’s so bad about being a fake person is that you’re constantly on high alert and constantly working hard to make sure that mask doesn’t fall off. And that’s a stressful way to live. It also means to not own your emotions. For instance, someone does something to really tick you off and when others ask you how you are, you lie and tell them you’re just fine. You also try to disguise your body language and facial expressions to match your words. Rarely does that fool anyone as micro-expressions will give you away to the trained eye. Again, it’s too much work and it’s work for nothing!
It never pays to be too serious because it cannot only cause unneeded stress, it can cause serious health consequences down the road. This will only pile more crap on top of the heap you’re already dealing with.
4. To live a happy life depends on the way you do things. It means working smart and not hard. It means taking your time and doing whatever it is that you’re doing right.
To live a crappy life also depends on how you do things. It means working hard and not smart. It means rushing through whatever you’re doing and taking a chance on fouling it up and having to start again.
5. To live a happy life, you must count your blessings. This can be doggone hard to do sometimes, I understand. Things go wrong, plans don’t work out, and it can be difficult to see the silver lining when it seems your world is upside down. And I’ll let you in on a little secret- even I struggle with this sometimes. Like you, I can get into a real funk too. But we must count blessings when we think about it so that life won’t seem as dismal.
To live a crappy life, you only see the glass as half-empty and life as one big hell-pit. I had this kind of attitude years ago and it only made things worse for me. Oh, man, did I have a funky attitude. You wouldn’t have wanted to know me back then.
Before closing this post, I want to warn you that being happy doesn’t mean that everything is all peaches and cream. Even happy people have days when they don’t feel so good and days when things go wrong. Being happy doesn’t mean having a perfect life. It doesn’t mean living in zippity do-da land.
Again, what being happy really means is being authentic, growing in mind, body, and spirit, and it means having a purpose and goals to work toward. It also means allowing yourself time for play and relaxation. In a nutshell, being happy means being true to yourself and everything about you.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Negative Self-beliefs Targets Can Have That Are Caused by Bullying
“Nobody will ever love me.”
“Nothing good can ever happen to me.”
“Human beings are predators and love drama.”
”It sucks to be me!”
Those were once my beliefs.
Bullying is a form of brainwashing. When a person has been an object of bullying for an extended length of time, they become fearful and unconsciously hold themselves back. After people tell the target for so long that they aren’t good enough, the tormented person comes to believe it themselves. Even worse, those negative thoughts, which have, for several years, been drummed into their heads by bullies, become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
Because bullying is so repetitive, it causes the target to think that they don’t deserve to be happy or prosperous. This person stops taking risks and plays everything safe. They settle for far less than what he/she deserves. And they don’t trust themselves to make good decisions and to say or do the right thing.
Targets of chronic bullying have the mindset that good fortune happens to anyone but them. Also, victims lose faith in humanity and come to think that all people are rotten and take pleasure in harming others. As a result, they lose their trust in humans in general, which only causes them to lose out on what could be genuinely remarkable friendships and relationships and re-enforce loneliness and isolation.
This is what bullying does to victims. It reprograms their minds and smashes their self-esteem to pieces, which can sometimes take years to put back together again. It causes them to do things that they usually would never do. I say this because it happened to me.
During the years my classmates bullied me, I did not trust anyone. I selected friends I didn’t want to be friends with and dated a few guys whom I wasn’t even remotely attracted to- all because I believed I couldn’t do any better. I did this to avoid being alone.
As long as there was a warm body around, it was “good enough.” I didn’t realize that not only was I being unfair to myself but also the people I selected. I deserved to be with people whom I wanted to be with and who were upstanding and positive, and they deserved to be with people who were with them because they chose to be, not because they were the only option. I was doing what Zig Zigler termed as “stinkin’ thinkin.'”
Here is another thing victims do as a result of bullying, they never permit themselves to be selfish, not realizing that a little bit of selfishness is okay, even imperative at times! In the past, people have repeatedly accused these targets of being selfish when they are only caring for themselves and also shamed them into believing that anything they do for themselves is wrong. Therefore, they put themselves on the back burner and everyone else comes first, often at the victim’s own expense!
It happened to me. I became shy and shut people out for fear of being harmed. I was afraid to say “no” to people because, in the past, I had been retaliated against and hurt for daring to set a boundary. I was forbidden to set boundaries and expected to, even forced to “let” others violate me. It was a terrible situation, which eventually caused me not to value myself as a person.
And when I finally got mad at the direction my life was headed. I decided, “No more!” I deserved to be happy just as much as the next person and I got proactive. I became hungry for any knowledge that would help me change my inside so that I could change my outside!
I took my first step toward empowerment by reading as many personal development books as I could get my hands on, then putting their advice into practice. And believe me! Spiritual and psychological reprogramming isn’t easy!
Anytime you set out to change destructive thoughts and habits you’ve had for several years, it’s the hardest thing to do. It takes a lot of grunt-work and, most of all, patience because the change doesn’t happen overnight.
Your mind will fight you every step of the way. It took several years for me to notice a significant difference in my thought patterns and attitude.
Thankfully, it finally paid off in a big way, and things are much different today! I want you to know that when you are a target, placing worth on yourself and doing the work to bring positive changes in your life is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.
Don’t do like me. For a time, I let my bullies win by caving in under a mountain of pressure and giving them carte blanche to brainwash me with their abuse. However, it was a lesson learned.
Always, value yourself, even when it seems that others don’t because it will work wonders for your self-esteem and save you a lot of work later. Keep fighting even when it appears that you’re losing the battle because oftentimes when things look the bleakest, your breakthrough or relief is just around the corner.
Love yourself and put yourself first, then reach out to only those who reciprocate love and positive feelings to you. Turn a deaf ear to the harmful talk bullies may attempt to fill your head with. Better yet, send those toxic parasites packing! Because you’re worth it! I promise you!
The Weight of Insecurity
6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally Kick Them Out of Your Life
In movies and television, we see scenarios where targets stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, in most cases, this is not reality. Remember that bullies are relentless.
Here are the tactics bullies use when a target stands up for themselves:
If you are a target, you must realize that bullies will not relinquish their power so easily. They will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully. Bullies have an insatiable need to wield power over another, and without that power, they feel lost.
Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. And since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way left to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.
Make no mistake about it. When you kick unsavory people out of your life, they will do the following:
1. They will gaslight you- by adding their spin to make you look and feel like the villain and maligning you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.
2. They will lay guilt trips- by trying to convince you that you are at fault or that the abuse is your imagination. Bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.
3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign- by recruiting followers to spread rumors and lies. They will also try to turn your friends against you. It happened to me many times and it would come as retaliation for my having the gall to stand up to them and assert my God-given, divine right not to be abused or taken advantage of.
4. They will turn your friends against you- Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by Dividing and Conquering- attacking the targets’ relationships to turn everyone against the target to isolate them. Think about it. The chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to bullies.
5. They will project their shortcomings onto you– Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto the target?
6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours– What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!
If bullies can’t control you, they will control how others see you.
They use the above strategies not only to cover their backsides and to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself, but also to close you off from any possible help or protection.
Once the target is isolated, the bullies move in for the kill. Now, they can do with you whatever they choose to do, freely and with impunity because if everyone is against you, the least likely they are to report or stop the abuse. In the minds of others, you deserve what’s happening to you.
Bullies want to, figuratively, hold the target hostage, and they will resort to any means necessary to keep him/her on emotional lock down and “in their place.”
They will do it with physical violence when exclusion, subtle digs, verbal assaults, gaslighting, and other forms of psychological abuse no longer have an impact. Bullies will commit their violence either by committing bodily harm themselves or sending someone else to do their savagery for them.
This does not mean that you should not stand up for yourself because you should. However, when you do, be prepared. The torment will get worse before it gets better. Be strong. Be brave and know that none of it is your fault.
The more you know.