I’m sure no one has thought of this, but I’ve lived long enough to notice that bullying seems to reach a peak during certain stages in people’s lives.

Puberty

Looking back, I remember that the bullying I suffered at school peaked from grade six to grade nine, then dropped somewhat after my freshman year. I’ve since read books, articles, and posts that supported what I experienced. I’ve even read and heard personal stories of other targets who suffered the worst and most frequent bullying during those years as well.

The twenties and Thirties

During my twenties until my late thirties, I got along rather well with people. Sure, I ran into a few jerks and even had a few enemies, but I can’t say that I experienced any bullying during those years. For the most part, I was well-received by people, especially people my age, during this period of my life. I loved going to work and felt equal and accepted by most.

What bullies I did know in the workplace during these years never targeted me. I do remember seeing them bully a few others. However, my reading and research into school bullying were in its infancy and I hadn’t yet heard of bullying in the workplace. I was still under the impression that bullying only happened in school.

Therefore, back then, I didn’t realize what I was seeing and didn’t speak up but preferred to mind my own business. Also, I only saw the bullying of a targeted coworker in passing and assumed that the coworker wasn’t pulling their weight.

Although I hated seeing those targets suffer and would make a point to be polite and friendly toward them, that was as far as I went. I felt that there was nothing more I could do for them. Sadly, I share some of the blame for what those targets must have endured.

Eventually, I left that workplace and soon discovered the term “workplace bullying” when I was thirty years old after stumbling upon Tim Field’s website, BullyOnline.org. I found that this website was chock full of information about not only school bullying, but workplace, family, and community bullying as well. Because of my horrible experience in school, I wanted to know about the other types of bullying too and wanted to see if there were any similarities.

I hungrily read everything, and, to my surprise, there were! Child, teen and adult bullying weren’t much different. I found that bullies of all ages and in all environments used the same tactics, and the only difference was that adult bullies were more stealth in their attacks.

Change of Life

I didn’t experience bullying a second time until around my early forties. At the time, I was working at a nursing home, and many of the bullies were old classmates and others who were in their late thirties to mid-fifties- the exact age-range when people began mid-life crises and menopause.

It was during this time that I noticed a drastic uptick in bullying behavior and immature attitudes among people in this age group. The bullies were mostly women, but there were a few male bullies as well.

Because I’d already experienced bullying in school and had been doing about 15 years of reading and research on school bullying and nearly ten years of research on bullying in the workplace, I was able to cover my behind and finally walk away from the job after working there almost three years. Luckily for me, I was able to leave confidently, when I was ready, and on my terms. However, I wasn’t the only one targeted.

I also witnessed the bullying of other targets as well. I saw people forced out of their jobs. Most of them were fired, a few were given the ultimatum to either resign or be terminated. One got angry and quit on the spot. Sadly, they weren’t as fortunate as I was, and my heart hurt for them.

During the time I worked in this nursing facility, I witnessed a lot of corruption and illegal activities as well. But I’ll elaborate on this in a future post.

In noticing the life stages of most of the bullies at work and remembering the peaks of bullying in middle school and middle age, I can’t help but wonder if, perhaps, a surge or drop in hormone levels could contribute to these spikes in bullying behaviors.

It’s definitely something for me to do more study and research on, and I’ll be sure to give updates on what I find, complete with links and sources.

Discrimination is discrimination, and prejudice is prejudice. It doesn’t matter who’s dishing it out or who is receiving it. The mentally ill and mentally disabled are still a minority; it doesn’t matter their sex, race, religion, or orientation. Even if you think that person is “crazy” and they happen not to be, you’re still guilty of discrimination, prejudice, and bias.

The mentally ill and disabled are favorite targets of bullies for several reasons:

1. They are different.
2. They are least likely to have the ability or know-how to defend themselves.
3. They don’t have the same protections as other minority or oppressed groups (racial minorities, women, LBGTQ, elderly, etc.).
4. Others flippantly disregard the mentally ill and disabled and do not see them as human.
5. They are least likely to be believed or taken seriously if they report abuse and victimization.

All the above leave the mentally ill and disabled most vulnerable, and bullies take full advantage! It’s no different than being a racial minority, a woman, a member of the LBGTQ community, or being a senior citizen.

In fact, it’s worse because other oppressed groups have more legal protections under the law than the mentally disadvantaged. Therefore, if you are a bully and you target these people, or you stand by and watch it happen without speaking out, you are no different than a card-carrying racist, homophobe, or misogynist!

There’s a term for this kind of bullying. It’s called Ableism!

Here’s something I’ll bet no one has thought of. If a person bullies these people, they probably are a racist, etc. They only hide it because it’s politically incorrect and against the law, and it’s not considered by society to be as evil or illegal to discriminate against those who are or are perceived to be mentally disadvantaged. The mentally ill are safer victims to bully, so they’re who bullies target.

Therefore, it would be safe to say that most bullies are racists and sexists at heart because bullies don’t accept anyone who is not like them. It doesn’t matter what the difference is.

The more you know.

When people think you’re stupid, you can run circles around them if you know how to use it to your advantage. Believe it or not, you can use it to deceive the dickens out of your bullies and lull them into a false sense of security. You can give them a feeling of mind-superiority and disarm any suspicions they may have.

Here’s one of my anti-bullying quotes I put on social media a few years back.

“When people mistake you for being stupid, it can really be a good thing if you know how to use it to your advantage. You can pull some sly, shady stuff and get away with it because no one would ever suspect it was you. They’d never think you were smart enough to pull it off!”

This is especially true with aggressive bullies because they’ll often rush in foolishly and make rash, off-the-cuff decisions which can get them in hot water. It also works on arrogant and overconfident bullies because the easier they think it is to abuse you, the easier it is for you to flip the script on them.

And if you want to move up any ladder but are low on the social hierarchy, appearing dumb can be the perfect cover! Look like a complete moron and no one will ever suspect you have tricks up your sleeve.

When bullies deem you a dummy, they don’t perceive you a threat. Therefore, though they may look down on you, they’ll likely leave you alone. Then when you finally strike and put your plan into action, they’ll be caught unawares.

So let them think you’re a complete idiot and use it as a weapon against them and a boon for you.

Bullies may laugh at you behind your back, but if you know how to use it to your advantage, you’ll be the last one laughing in the end!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_90eOj6iWXI