Many bullies bully their targets by using physical violence and force, or the threat of it. Nobody wants a bully to harm them and you shouldn’t feel any shame nor blame in that. So, instead of just standing there and letting the bully pound on you or continue to threaten you, you must defend yourself. But if you aren’t the kind who believes in throwing punches, how do you protect yourself without resorting to violence?
Here are a few ways:
1. Talk your way out of the altercation.
You do this by giving the bully a small dose of (false) empathy and sympathy. Pretend like you feel bad for “the poor guy” and use the appropriate tone of voice and body language to make it sound convincing. And your body language and tone should match your words and convey empathy.
For example, you can begin with, “I understand why your upset about XYZ…” then state your case.
But don’t overdo it! Don’t say any more than what you need to say, don’t talk too fast or look nervous. The last thing you want is to come off like you’re trying too hard because the bully will only think you’re scared or fake.
2. If talking doesn’t work, leave the situation (if possible).
Find a way to get way away from the person. If you can’t get away because the bully has either cornered or trapped you, then, by all means, fight your way free if you have to. Although you may not want to resort to hitting back, sometimes you have no choice. You either fight or get your butt handed to you.
3. Call for help. Call 911 and get the police involved.
The bully may get away with it, but at least you will have a record of the call and a police report on file should the bully come after you again.
4. If all else fails, FIGHT!
Sock the bully in the nose! Sometimes, you must use the last resort for self-defense. You’ve tried everything else so you have a record on the bully. Chances are that others will know you fought in self-defense and give you a pass, which is another benefit to establishing a recorded history of your bully’s bad behavior.
You can’t go wrong with establishing a recorded history of bad behavior. A trail of records will go a long way in protecting you. Also, it helps to have foreknowledge of the 3 signs that verbal abuse will turn physical.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
All great advice, another suggestion is to find a local martial arts class and start taking lessons. I begged my mother to let me take karate but she wouldn’t because people trained in the martial arts had been known to kill someone. That was her excuse anyway.
I totally agree, Michael. MA training is one of the best things to deter bullies. And a well-trained Martial Artist knows how far to take it. They only kill people when they have no other choice… when it’s either their lives or the bully’s. And sometimes, bullies will try to kill you and leave you no choice but to kill them first- that’s called self-defense and it’s the only situation that justifies it. However, most of the time, you don’t have to. Being well-trained in MA mostly prevents people from being killed, whether it’s the bully or the intended victim, MA can save lives.