Self-Esteem and the People You Spend the Most Time With

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One thing that few of us think about is that we each are the sum of the types of people we spend the most time with. In other words, if the people you spend most of your time with are negative, then negative is what you become.

On the other hand, the opposite is true also. If you spend most of your time with people who are positive and uplifting, then you will feel and be the same.

Likewise, when a target is surrounded by bullies eight hours per day, whether it be at school or work, this takes up most of his day. It’s even worse if the target has negative family members at home. Therefore, he spends most of his day with bullies which will, over time, turn him into a negative person if he isn’t careful.

So, if you’re the only positive person in the room, you’re in the wrong place! If you’re around people who drain you and make you feel bad, you must find a way to fix it without hanging around and trying to fix them.

Realize that each person has a mind of his/her own and to try and “fix” them is a waste of your time and energy. It’s up to the other person to improve themselves and they must be the one to do that. Moreover, you wouldn’t want that responsibility. Understand that any internal fixing is their job, not yours.

You can only fix things by removing yourself from their company.

You always know when you’re with the wrong people because you will immediately sense that something is off anytime you’re around such negative folks. You will feel exhausted just being around them because it will be as if they’re sucking the oxygen out of the room. You’ll feel yucky because they’re killing your good vibes. Therefore, you must get out of there… fast!

Don’t stifle your own peace, happiness, and, most of all, growth by continuing to hang around. Make it your goal to get out of that environment!

Take the steps needed to find a pleasant environment filled with people who are either just as or more positive than you. Then soak up their uplifting personalities, dispositions, and vibes. In doing this, you allow yourself to grow and continue to move toward self-betterment.

Realize that people can only meet you from the place they’re at. In other words, if the person is negative, they can only meet you from a negative place. And if your places contradict, it can only cause division and conflict. Therefore, you must go where you get the most positivity and that also means choosing your friends wisely.

And once you do, you’ll be glad you did!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

27 thoughts on “Self-Esteem and the People You Spend the Most Time With

  1. Aparna J says:

    Hi Cherie,

    You have always been an inspiration to me, Your posts only gave me strength to face and riss against my bullying abusive husband. It’s amazing to see you back, dear.


    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      Thank you so much, Aparna! It’s great to see you again too! This means a lot and I’m so glad this blog helped you. Bless you!

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad to see you too! I’ve missed you all. May God continue to bless you!

  2. Kim Reck says:

    OMG! So true! I wortked with a bunch of negative ninnies lead by a couple of bully bosses and a Narcassistic supervsor that I actually came to believe the crap they said about my abilities- I am proud to say that I healed and found a clear shore line! Can I get an AMEN?! LOL! Cherie, you certainly helped guide the way to this safe haven and I have pulled myself outta that toxic cess pool and now am moving on!! You are hugely insightful to the nastiness of bullies and I know from all that you shared that you have taken your pain and hurt and turned it around to help others. You know many would simply just join in and become equally nasty. Not you!! You are a beautiful, caring human despite your heartache. Thank you!

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      You don’t know how much this means, Kim! Thank you so much! I’m so glad this blog helped you to take back your power and to find your happiness again. Bless you, sweetie!

  3. Stella Reddy says:

    Beautifully said Cherie… I am still working on it… Been in NL now almost 3 years and tho I have people I spend time with, I don’t have many out of fear of this. I have fear of getting myself in a negative environment once again. Maybe I am too choosy!! lol

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      Thank you so much, Stella! And I understand completely. Once you’ve been burned, it sometimes takes years to overcome the fear of getting in with negative people. Just give yourself time and don’t rush. You’re going to do great!

  4. Celt says:

    People DO “rub off” on you over time, just like yourself leave an imprint on others – whether you all know it or not.

    Good to see you again, Cherie! : But I wish you had a “Like” button on here under your posts. I always read you, but don’t always know what to say…

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      Thank you, Celt. I’ll see what I can do to get the like buttons back. I just went self-hosted so there’s a learning curve I have to get around.

  5. murisopsis says:

    At work there was a “negativity vortex” and it would suck you in if you weren’t careful! I avoided those folks as if my life depended on it!! Very good advice!

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      Thank you so much, Valerie. You were so wise to avoid the negative Nannies at your job. I admire your resilience and strength not to get sucked into their doldrums. God bless you!

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      Thank you so much, Clive. I went self-hosted so there’s a bit of a learning curve. But, thank goodness for YouTube tutorials. I have finally installed the Like button just a few minutes ago. It’s nothing fancy, but it does the job. 😁

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:

      You’re absolutely right, Tamara! The people we spend most time with have a huge impact on our self-esteem, outlook on the world, how we see ourselves, all of it. 🙂💖

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