Month: January 2021

Guilt by Association

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Understand that to achieve their goals to isolate the target, bullies will threaten and punish anyone they see who has anything to do with the target.

Nobody wants to be ostracized. Nothing wrong with that. However, when bullies slander you and friends turn against you so easily, it speaks volumes about the kinds of people they are. And sadly, very few people have the sack to stand up to bullies. It stinks, but it’s the gospel truth.

Most people will do anything- and I mean anything to keep from being socially isolated. Most will even turn their backs on their closest friends.

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But understand this. Anybody who claims to be your friend but doesn’t have your back is not your friend! And when it comes to your bullies, you must ask yourself these questions:

1. Who are they (the bullies and anyone else) to set standards for you?
2. Who are they to tell you what standards you should live up to?
3. Who are they to tell you to change?
4. Who are they to tell you how to dress, how to act, and how to live?
5. What authority do they have to make any rules that you should follow?
6. Who died and made them the authority over you?
7. What power do they have to tell everyone else who to associate with and who not to?

If you’re a target of bullying who’s just been abandoned by everybody because the bullies have influenced them to do so, you must also ask yourself this question:

1. I mean, dig deep and really ask yourself: Would you even want to be friends or associate with a bunch of pathetic wussies who are so weak and spineless that they’ll bow down to pacify a bunch of bullies? Do you want to associate with anyone who’s too chicken to stand behind you?

I want you to understand that anyone who says ‘yes’ to bullies and turns on you so quickly didn’t have much sack, to begin with. They were never even worth knowing. Because they only proved to you that they’re worthless and can never be trusted. You don’t want a bunch of wimps for friends. I know it hurts when someone you thought so highly of suddenly throws you under the bus!

Believe me, I’ve been there, and betrayal by people you thought were friends is the most painful part of being a target of bullying. But, as painful as it is, you need to realize that not everyone is worth your time. Not everyone deserves your friendship. So, when people turn against you, understand that it’s only the trash taking itself out!

What you want are strong and brave friends- friends with substance! You want friends with the cajones to have your back and tell the bullies to go take a long walk off a short pier!

Let me warn you. Great friends are hard to find. Because the strong and true are few in this world. Most people really are a bunch of bagless, weak-kneed wusses. Just as a girl must kiss many frogs to find a prince who’s worthy of her love, a target of bullying must weed through a great many wusses to find people who are worthy of her friendship.

You must raise your standards and expectations. You must be very selective of who you allow being pals with you. Selectiveness is a great thing because it shows that you value yourself and that you won’t settle for anything less than what you want! You must put a proverbial price tag on yourself and make sure it isn’t too low! Only then will people respect you.

For others to value you, you must first value yourself! And that means loving yourself enough to walk away from people who are worthless to you (i.e., the fake friends who betray you).

Guest Post: The Bullying Battle- “The Things You Do” by Leon Stevens

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I’m very honored that Leon Stevens gave me permission to repost his blog about bullying. He is a very talented blogger, songwriter, and musician!

Keep up the awesome work, Leon!

By Leon Stevens Dec. 9, 2020:

I have been reposting (and reworking) some of my earlier blogs-just to get everyone caught up with what I am about. Here is one with a message that has been repeated many times over, but unfortunately bears repeating.

People can be mean. Real mean. From kids to adolescents to adults, it still amazes me when I witness bullying behaviour. I wrote The Things You Do after observing grown men acting like typical schoolyard bullies.

You know the ones. the ones in the movies and T.V. shows that when you think about it, is pretty real in today’s schools (still). Some kids learn it from home, others from their peers, and popular culture, and most-thankfully-grow out of it.

Credit goes to all the teachers who, on top of all the subjects they teach, also have to teach empathy and humanitarianism-from kindergarten and up.

As a musician, I wrote. Not being much for performing, I decided to record it (also not my forte). It was missing something though. Rudimentary graphics! I pulled out my gel pen and drew what I envisioned-like a storyboard. I’m cheap, so I downloaded a free video editor and a week later, Voila!

So, I hope that you enjoy the message.

Thanks for stickin’ around.

-Leon

The Cold, Hard Truth About Bystanders

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You not only never forget the bullies, but you also remember the people who were there- the people who had the power to help you but did nothing. Many times, the bystanders who saw it never tried to intervene and stop the attacks, nor did they speak up on my behalf.

As much as I hate to say it, I was guilty of the same thing. When I watched a few others get bullied, I said and did nothing, thinking that my voice wouldn’t make a difference if I did speak up. Other times, I was just damn glad that, for a change, I wasn’t the one targeted and that it was someone else taking heat for a change.

For this, I am very remorseful and would like to apologize to all the other targets I left to fend for themselves. I’m truly sorry.

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Here are the reasons bystanders do nothing to help a target of bullying:

1. They’re afraid of arousing the bullies’ anger and becoming the next target. No one wants to be a target of bullying. I get that. Many bystanders fear getting involved, and for good reasons. However, many bystanders do have some power because they’re high on the social hierarchy.

And the higher you are in the pecking order, the more weight your actions and words carry. So, why not use your power to help the target? Because if you’re extremely popular, the chances are that other bystanders will follow your lead and join you, and the bully will leave the victim alone. There’s strength in numbers.

2. The bystanders see the bullies’ torment of the target as entertainment. Bullies always bully in front of an audience to humiliate the target. During altercations between bullies and targets, bystanders immediately gather around to watch it go down.

Most bystanders then stand around, laughing and pointing fingers. Many of them cheer and egg the bully on, stirring it up to get more entertainment, all of which only encourages the bully to continue and even escalate the abuse.

As long as it isn’t them getting dogged out or having their brains beat in, most bystanders think it’s funny to see it happen to someone else.

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It’s the reason that instead of helping the target, bystanders will automatically whip out their smartphones and record the confrontation. They can then watch it later, send the film to their friends, and have another big laugh over it.

But! It’s not the least bit funny to the target. It’s painful and humiliating. It can be devastating to a victim who has already been a target of bullying for an extended time and can drive them over the edge.

3. The bystanders themselves either dislike or hate the target. In many cases, bullies have run vicious smear campaigns and turned everyone against their victims. When an altercation finally breaks out, the bystanders refuse to help the target because they think she deserves the abuse. Many times, these bystanders secretly or openly take pleasure in seeing the target suffer.

They may stand around snickering or join the bullies in tormenting the target. Often, the bullies are only doing to the victim what many bystanders wish they had the stones to do themselves. So, they get complete satisfaction in seeing someone else attack the target. Bystanders often hate the victim so much that they would defend a total stranger before protecting the victim they hate so intensely.

4. They don’t want to get involved. Many bystanders figure that it’s none of their business and choose not to get involved. These bystanders are so indifferent that they won’t even stop and watch. They will only pass by and keep going. They don’t care. Period.

Understand that bullies always perform in front of an audience to show their superiority, strength, and power. Bystanders who do nothing to stop the attacks only silently support and encourage the bullies. These bystanders are just as guilty as the psycho bullies who perpetuate the attacks.

Often, bystanders either don’t understand or underestimate the power they have, especially in large numbers. When witnesses speak up for the target, the bullies will likely stop and leave the victim.

Bullies and Cliques: Most Peak in High School Then Become Losers in The Real World

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Little Girl Playing in a Kiddie Pool

High school is child’s play – the kiddie pool of life, if you will. And most often, graduation means the end of the line for most “popular” bullies and cliques.

I say this because most of my former school bullies had their fame in school but have done very little with their lives since. Most achieve very little as adults, while those bullied by these types evolve into remarkable and highly successful adults.

I know this for a fact because I’ve watched as one of my older school bullies got a Nursing degree, then worked as the Director of Nursing in a nursing home. She seemed to be moving up in the world and got handed the most favorable positions- all because she was well-known in the town. (Most of my bullies from school either became nurses, law enforcement, teachers, or went to work in corrections.)

While working her prestigious DON position, she got hooked on prescription pills, and someone caught her stealing out of the medicine cart. The owners of the nursing facility fired her from her job. Next, the state of Tennessee revoked her nursing license. Then her husband divorced her, and she ended up penniless and working in a local cafe for minimum wage. I can only imagine how humbled and humiliated she felt.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t secretly wish for anything bad to happen to anyone, and I don’t boast of the misfortunes of others- not even those who tormented me in school. I’m merely making the point that Karma does repay eventually, and most of these coddled and babied daddy’s girls and puffed up mama’s boys get a colossal letdown once they’re out on their own.

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I came to find out that this has happened to many of my former bullies. They bully innocent others like myself during school, then get the comeuppance they never expected as adults.

Here are a few reasons why most of my ex-bullies aren’t very successful:

To be truly successful, a person must leave their comfort zones and face their worst fear- the possibility of failure. Most bullies will never leave the familiar. They’d rather stay in an environment where they continue to get opportunities, promotions, and rewards handed to them by their “town connections,” which are small to mediocre victories.

Most of my bullies never left that one-horse town. Why? Because they knew they wouldn’t get the special treatment and free passes in any other jurisdiction that were generously afforded them in *Oakley. Therefore, they stay where their friends are and know that they can get by on nepotism and the “Good Ole Boy System,” which rules not only *Oakley but most tiny Southern towns.

However, here’s the thing about small towns and rural areas. It doesn’t take long, nor does it take much effort to maximize potential in places such as these, even for well-connected bullies and cliques. A person can only go so far in a rural area, so let them have their small town safety net because they’re only playing in the kiddie pool! They would drown in the big pond.

Silhouette of the Big Crown lies on the word Narcissist. Concept of narcissism as a social problem

High school is the highlight of most people’s lives, so bullies today should enjoy it while they can. Because the real world doesn’t care who you were in high school.

Adult life has no concern with how popular you were, whether you were Homecoming Queen, the varsity football team’s star, or on the cheerleading squad. The workplace doesn’t care if you were in a fraternity or sorority or the class president!

All the real world wants to know is whether or not you can contribute something to it, and most bullies are as incompetent as they come and add nothing to life but negativity.

I’m very thankful that many of my differences, ridiculed by my classmates, are the same characteristics and skills that people today (other than my former classmates) value and admire about me. WHAM! Take that, bullies!

Guest Post: What Is The Future Of Bullying?

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The following is a guest post from DiosRaw.com. Please check out her website if you would like to read more of her posts.

Hello there, the world is rapidly changing and we don’t know what the future holds. Today I will go into the realm of “what is the future of bullying?”. This post will include what will potentially happen with cyberbullying, school bullying, workplace bullying and domestic bullying in the future of this ever changing world.

So, what is bullying?

There is no legal definition of bullying. But it is usually defined as repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.

Bullying can take many forms including:

-physical assault

-social bullying

-threatening behaviour

-name calling

-cyberbullying

-domestic bullying

-workplace bullying

So, what is the future of bullying and what can be done?

I don’t have all the answers but what I can do is figure out, based on predictions, my own personal experience and research what will happen in the future for bullying.

I remember the days of going into school, being bullied by groups of girls about my weight and appearance, this eventually led me to turning to anorexia to cope; due to this I lost all my precious hair. I know first hand how devastating bullying can be from my own subjective experience. It was the best thing, looking back, that could have happened to me as it molded me into the person I am today to write this and gave me the gifts of understanding, compassion and a spiritual awakening to the truth of who I am.

  • School Bullying. Numerous studies have shown that children who are identified as ‘bullies’ at school are much more likely than others to engage in delinquent and criminal behaviours as adults. The authors of this study concluded that ‘school bullying is a strong and specific risk factor for later offending’ and ‘effective anti-bullying programmes should be promoted, and could be viewed as a form of early crime prevention.’ Schools are a breeding ground for bullies and to prevent this from happening we need to continue to raise awareness more and more about what it is and how to look out for it. We need people to speak up and tell someone about what is happening. Schools do raise awareness to a certain extent but more needs to be done. Past victims of bullying could go into schools and spend a workshop style day educating people on bullying; this should be a regular occurrence in schools.Children also need to have a safe and loving environment at home to prevent them from craving attention and falling into the category of being a bully. Bullies need to have support on how to deal with their behaviour too, we need to get to the root of the problem. Schools need more programs implemented in order to tame the bullying pandemic. Since many children are at home due to the pandemic, bullying will likely move to cyberspace which means more awareness needs to be spread on how to deal with cyberbullying.

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  • Workplace Bullying. Over time, we have seen issues of bullying, especially work bullying, greatly increase. In the 18th century bullying was not recognized as an issue and was viewed as a regular and unavoidable part of growing up. It was not until the late 19th and into the 20th century where peer-on-peer harassment was first widely recognized as not only an issue, but a major social problem that needed to be fixed. History shows that work bullying continues to increase, including, both the amount of people who are affected by bullying, and the severity of the methods being used. These aggressive behaviors are becoming more violent than ever before. Recently to address these actions, legislation began to fight against these violent behaviors through establishing new laws that prohibit bullying within workplaces. People need to raise their awareness of who they are, be taught about self-self and basic human moral principles. Workplaces need to implement more ways of detecting bullying and offering support to victims.

  • Domestic Bullying. It’s important that we realize how bullying has become so widespread in order to take measures to STOP it. We must stand up for those victims who live in fear each and every day of their lives and teach souls to treat one another with respect. We live in a world where people are different but fail to see that at the end of the day, we are all human beings. Domestic bullying can remain hidden and elusive; victims need the information and knowledge, because knowledge is power, to empower them to leave abusive relationships and stand up for themselves. Will it change? The pandemic will mean people are at home for long periods of time.. cases of domestic abuse will rise and all we can do is keep raising awareness of this kind of bullying for people to have the courage to speak up. Domestic bullying needs more coverage and to normalise pointing it out would be the next best step.

  • Cyber Bullying. There has been a major shift taking place regarding how people bully others. Many of us think face-to-face bullying is bad enough, yet perpetrators of bullying have taken it to the next level by using the internet to prey on others. Whether people are using popular social media sites, such as Facebook or YouTube, or texting and sending pictures through their mobile phones, bullies are now using technology to socially torture their victims. According to Feinberg and Robey (2008), people who are bullied through the internet may suffer more psychological harm then those who experience face-to-face bullying because, “…the hurtful information can be transmitted broadly and instantaneously and can be difficult to eliminate…” (p. 11). Because cyberbullying has become so widely used, some schools have also made laws to address how students are using the internet. Feinberg (2008) suggests that one of the steps schools can take to help this problem diminish is to incorporate cyberbullying laws into school policies that specifically address bullying behaviors. Another important aspect some schools are looking into is holding all parties surrounding each incident of bullying accountable. In the past, only the bully themselves would be punished, yet lately some schools are setting up stricter guidelines that will also hold bystanders and witnesses of bullying incidents accountable. Marty Mathiesen, Principal at Nevada Union High School, recently shocked his students by equally punishing all parties involved in a violent attack on an innocent school boy. In the locker room, at Nevada Union High School, a smaller sized boy was psychically beaten up as others sat back and videotaped and encouraged the fight (Massie, 2012). Yet, after Mathiesen got wind of this incident, he made it clear that not only the bully, but the students videotaping this fight would be reprimanded (Massie, 2012). This is exactly what all schools need to do. People who watch these violent acts are the ones fueling the fire. Holding bystanders accountable for these actions along with the bullies, may help stop incidents like these from happening at school; however, parents need to closely watch and be held accountable for what their children are doing outside of school. By understanding where the issue of bullying currently stands, along with what has already been done to help stop it, we can now try and predict what the future for bullying holds. Taking a glance over history and how bullying has progressed, it seems that this issue will continue to expand. With the new technology that is underway, along with what is currently booming, attempting to stop children from harassing others seems impossible. What makes catching these behaviors so difficult are the many venues that are used to pick on others including: email, text, chat rooms, mobile phones, mobile phone cameras, and web sites. Trying to keep up with current technology, let alone trying to identify bullying behaviors, can be very overwhelming. That said, the more that administrators go searching to find what their students are up to, the more these behaviors will be hidden. One of the unintended and unidentified consequences of trying to put pressure on kids who bully others is that they will just use other means to harass their peers. However, the future remains unknown for this area as more people are locked down in their houses. All bullies have at home is the internet, I would advice reporting any nasty messages or comments, blocking bullies and deleting these messages for mental sanity.

To conclude, it would be naive of me to say that bullying in all areas of life will completely stop. Bullying is a primal ego promoting tool that has been with us I presume since the beginning of the age of humankind. Even with the collection of programs, laws, and efforts to stop bullying, bullying will always be a major issue within our school systems and other spheres of life. However, the most important factor to help the bullying issue among adolescents and workplaces is for administrations to strictly enforce anti-bullying rules while gaining all the support they can get from the communities within those domains. With schools taking ownership of this growing problem and persistently pushing forward to make a difference, they will be moving in the right direction to help bring peace and safety back to the school yards, as for the other areas of life I cannot say. Overall, to go past the bullying era of humankind it will take a shift in consciousness towards love and connection, awareness, healing, good home environments and mentors. Keep raising the awareness and do not remain silent. Remember you are not alone.

And finally, here are some quotes to think about:

“Knowing what’s right doesn’t mean much unless you do what’s right.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.” – Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Thank you for stopping by to read this guest post. Let me know in the comments what you think the future of bullying will entail..

-DiosRaw.com

 

It’s Not Easy to Deter Bullies

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In movies and television, we see scenarios where targets stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, in most cases, this is not reality. Remember that bullies are relentless.

Here are the tactics bullies use when a target stands up for themselves:

If you are a target, you must realize that bullies will not relinquish their power so easily. They will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully. Bullies have an insatiable need to wield power over another, and without that power, they feel lost.

Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. And since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way left to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.

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Make no mistake about it. When you kick unsavory people out of your life, they will do the following:

1. They will gaslight you- by adding their spin to make you look and feel like the villain and maligning you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.

2. They will lay guilt trips- by trying to convince you that you are at fault or that the abuse is your imagination. Bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign- by recruiting followers to spread rumors and lies. They will also try to turn your friends against you. It happened to me many times and it would come as retaliation for my having the gall to stand up to them and assert my God-given, divine right not to be abused or taken advantage of.

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4. They will turn your friends against you- Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by Dividing and Conquering- attacking the targets’ relationships to turn everyone against the target to isolate them. Think about it. The chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to bullies.

5. They will project their shortcomings onto you– Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto the target?

6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours– What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!

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If bullies can’t control you, they will control how others see you.

They use the above strategies not only to cover their backsides and to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself, but also to close you off from any possible help or protection.

Once the target is isolated, the bullies move in for the kill. Now, they can do with you whatever they choose to do, freely and with impunity because if everyone is against you, the least likely they are to report or stop the abuse. In the minds of others, you deserve what’s happening to you.

Bullies want to, figuratively, hold the target hostage, and they will resort to any means necessary to keep him/her on emotional lock down and “in their place.”

They will do it with physical violence when exclusion, subtle digs, verbal assaults, gaslighting, and other forms of psychological abuse no longer have an impact. Bullies will commit their violence either by committing bodily harm themselves or sending someone else to do their savagery for them.

This does not mean that you should not stand up for yourself because you should. However, when you do, be prepared. The torment will get worse before it gets better. Be strong. Be brave and know that none of it is your fault.
The more you know.

When a Target Ditches a Bully

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I can tell you what happened when I deleted one of my former classmates. Before I go any further with my story, I’ll tell you this.

Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they think is inferior to them. That’s a blow to the ego like one other!

When a bully gets dismissed by the victim, he thought for so long was too weak to stand up to him, oh my God! He. LOSES it! Why? Because in an instant, the victim finally stood his ground, he snatched his power back and left the bully powerless over him for once! Now the bully must go through the headache of finding a new target! Gasp!

This is precisely what happened with my old bully classmate when I unfriended her for a few offhand and snide comments she made on a few of my posts. She became furious! She couldn’t stand it! And I’ve got to tell you. I’m laughing as I’m typing this and thinking back about two years ago.

This half-crazed woman blew up my inbox. And with such vitriolic rage!

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Oh, my goodness! How dare I! The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah of me! O-M-G! I’m such a fake! I’m such a pissy person who deleted her because I got called out! Oooooo! Poor baby! I’m such a weak little bitch who can’t take constructive criticism!

Those were her words before I laughed and pushed that little godsend of a block button. I would’ve pushed the button sooner, but to tell you the truth, I was getting a real kick out of her reaction, and I wanted to give her time to shoot herself in the foot. Sure enough, she did.

I took screenshots of her messages, one in which she repeatedly asked, “Why did you delete me?”, then plastered them all over the internet. The icing on the cake was that the other classmates saw the screenshots too and they were shocked.

Knowing she’d been punked before the eyes of some of her old high school buddies, this she-bully went even more berserk. And it was so fun to watch!

I kid you not. There wasn’t enough popcorn in the world!

You see, this woman thought that I was weak in high school and never bet on the possibility that I might have smartened up a little in the three decades since. So, I went ahead and let her assume what she wanted and trapped her with it.

I want you to know that standing up to and ditching a bully isn’t as hard as you think. It’s quite easy if you don’t let fear or any intense emotion get in your way. Remember that bullies get their power from getting you emotional. And when you finally come to a place where you’re no longer intimidated or angered by them, the better you’ll be able to use your head, find some leverage, and use it as a weapon.

You must understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they no longer have the ability to think clearly. You then have the opportunity to use it to your advantage and make them look like a complete doorknob.

A Bully’s Nonverbal Language from Head to Toe (Part 2)

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Female Track Competitors Glaring at Each Other

In the last post, we stopped at the chest and shoulders. This post covers the rest of the body.

Arms- Akimbo. The arms of a bully are often akimbo (elbows out, hands on hips, thumbs forward). This makes the bully appear bigger and more powerful. It’s also used to intimidate any opponent and show power and superiority. To ward off bullies, stand with power, and send the message that you won’t be a victim.

Crossed Arms. When coupled with the jutted chin, bullies will also cross their arms anytime they’re facing someone. Crossed arms are not only a sign of superiority and power, they are also considered closed body language because when a bully crosses his arms when facing their opponent, they are “closed” to anything the other person has to say.

Note that victims will also cross their arms in intimidation when confronted by a bully. However, the difference is that they cross their arms to avoid a possible attack to the torso or they may throw their hands and arms in front of the face and neck. Also, instead of using the jutted chin, a victim will lower the head, hide the neck, and slouch. This is where paying attention to clustered body language comes in. To keep bullies away, never slouch, lower the head nor hide the neck. Always look confident!

Hands- The Clenching Fists. The bully will often clench their fists when they want to physically attack their opponent. Always see this as a sign the person wants to harm you and be ready in case they do.

Mid-Section- The Crotch Expose. This is done mostly by boys and men. Although it is a sign of sexual interest in a potential mate, it can also be used to intimidate and for dominance and power. Trust me. You’ll know the difference. If you are male, take a power pose. If you are female and this is used by a male bully for intimidation, either stand facing the bully with your feet apart and hands on your hips and challenge him with a glare or give him a dismissive look and walk away.

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Legs- Legs Apart. Most bullies stand with their feet shoulder-width apart to appear bigger and more powerful. Confident people also stand this way. Therefore, if you want to appear confident and ward off bullies, this is how you should stand.

There’s also The Dominant Leg Backstep. This is when the bully steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes! If you see the bully step back with one leg, either get clear or be prepared to fight!

Feet- The Toe Point. Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading. The toes always point to where the person wants to go. If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction. If the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you and their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the other cues their body will give you.

It pays to observe!

A Bully’s Nonverbal Language from Head to Toe

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Eyes- That Creepy Piercing Glare. The eyebrows narrow and the eyes bore into you without blinking. The head does not move. The person stares you down as if they want to attack you. Bullies do this number to either challenge or intimidate their targets. Return the stare and the bully will likely go away.

Nose- The Nostril Flare. You’ve seen the nostrils of a bull flare when the animal is about to charge a matador. It’s the same with bullies. The nostrils flare to take in extra oxygen needed for a possible physical attack. When a bully does this, he’s hostile. When a person’s nostrils flare at you, look out! Because it is a sign the bully is about to physically attack you. Keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to defend yourself.

Jaw- The Jaw Clinch. The bully is gritting his teeth at the target and hiding it. When this happens, you’ll notice the jaws protruding. The bully either pulls this move to intimidate or in preparation for a fight. Again, this is a sign of a possible physical attack. Don’t ignore it. Stay vigilant.

Mouth – There are many expressions bullies use with their mouths. One of which is, The One-Sided Upper-Lip Raise. Coupled with a glare, people raise one side of their upper lip to convey contempt or disgust. Return the sentiment and the bully will likely move away. Thinned or Pursed Lips are a sign of hostility as are baring of the teeth or snarling. Again, return the expression but be prepared.

Chin- The Jutted Chin. The bully tilts the head back and juts his chin forward all for the purpose of looking down his nose at you. When the bully does this, he is either challenging you, trying to intimidate you, or he truly thinks he’s superior. Again, return the sentiment and the bully will back down.

Neck- The Exposed Neck. The bully will expose and lengthen the neck to challenge you. People do this to show that they aren’t afraid of the person in front of them and can hold their own if necessary. Bullies do it to make themselves appear taller and to intimidate anyone in their way. Again, reflect the gesture back to the bully and he’ll likely leave you alone.

too close personal space

Shoulders- The Shoulder Throw. Bullies will often throw their shoulders back to convey confidence and power. If you want to appear confident, never slouch the shoulders, always stand up straight, tall, and with your shoulders back.

Chest- The Puffed-Out Chest. The bully’s chest puffs outward toward the target. The chest fills with extra air in preparation for a possible fight. Again, this is not only done to make the bully look bigger and to intimate his opponent but also a sign of a coming physical attack. Be aware.

(Continued in part 2…)