You Should Always Address Bullying in The Early Stages. Here’s Why:

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My grandmother once told me this: “Never. And I mean never let anyone get comfortable with abusing and mistreating you.”

She was right. By the time she gave me that little gold nugget of wisdom, it was already too late. I was in high school and had been a target of bullying since moving to *Oakley School District in the sixth grade. But right then, I understood what my very wise grandmother meant and why she gave me that advice.

Here’s what Uma (what I called my maternal grandmother) had already known by being a people-watcher and very good at people-reading:

Once the mistreatment of a person has gone on for so long, the people around them get comfortable with mistreating that person. They grow so accustomed to being cruel to the person that they don’t even think about, nor do they care about how they hurt that person. Even worse, they come to expect the target the take the abuse without question, without talking back, speaking about it, and without defending themselves.

Put another way, if a target firmly stands up to bad treatment in the early stages of being targeted, it’s more likely that others will respect his right to be treated well and either leave him alone or began treating him better.

Whereas, if the target lets the bullying go on for a long time, then begins to stand up for himself after getting fed up with being everyone’s doormat, others will more than likely be only angry and resentful of the person for daring to open his mouth about it. They will then double down in their abuse or eliminate him somehow.

Once a person gets comfortable in mistreating you, it’s much more difficult to fight. Therefore, always speak out the moment the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “You Should Always Address Bullying in The Early Stages. Here’s Why:

  1. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    💖 Love this Cherie – “Once a person gets comfortable in mistreating you, it’s much more difficult to fight.” As Barney from the Andy Griffith Show would say, “Nip it. Nip it in the bud!” 😜 Your grandmother was right about that girlfriend. Don’t give others permission to abuse you. Wonderful post DJ CW!!! 😊👏🏼😘🦋🤩💐🥰💖🤗✨🌞

  2. ThingsHelenLoves says:

    We need people like you in the workplace and schools, Cherie. Helping to create an anti bullying environment and culture. You could forge some great training events and workshops from your content!

    • cheriewhite says:

      Awww! Thank you so much, Helen! 💖I’ve definitely thought of doing this and would love to! I’m actually working on a few manuals to upload as ebooks after I start my self-hosted blog. I also was slated to do public talks at schools and universities, then COVID hit. But it’s still in the plans. I’m planning on going self-hosted sometime next month but I’ll keep this blog open for another year until I transplant my wonderful readers to the new self-hosted version of this blog. I also plan on making YT videos when I can clean out my junk room and turn it into a home studio. I planned to do this in January of this year but things came up. But I’ll definitely get it done! Once I get these things completed, I will probably take the next step and develop a masterclass. Again, thank you so much. Your kindness and support mean a lot to me!

  3. Simone E says:

    Such wisdom your grandmother had! It’s a great point.. todays parents and teachers need to be aware of this concept and put an end to the bullying before it spirals out of control.
    Thank you for sharing 😊

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re most welcome, Simone! Sadly, schools aren’t concerned with bullying and we see this proof every day as bullies either get a get-out-of-jail-free card or a slap on the wrist while the target usually gets blamed. It’s up to the parents and the rest of us to teach targets the confidence they need to stand up to bullying. Thank you so much for your lovely thoughts on this topic! Sending lots of love your way! 💖💕🌺🌹

    • cheriewhite says:

      Oh, my heart goes out to her, Susie. 💔😭People on the Autism spectrum have it the worse when it comes to bullying. People detect that they aren’t able to pick up on social cues and they take full advantage of that. I’ve seen this happen to many on the spectrum and it turns my stomach! The discrimination people with autism suffer is evil and appalling! 😡🤬 Give her a hug for me and tell her that she’s loved and she’s worthy of love and friendship no matter what they may tell her at school!🤗🤗

  4. CareTrain says:

    I think that is the mistake a lot of people make is taking it early on thinking it will go away. Unfortunately with really bullies it only gives them an invitation to do it more. And if you can put a stop to it quickly, it will usually blow over, reputation intact. It is also why when we see someone bullied we need to sometimes intervene. That is one thing I have instilled in my family. Don’t ever initiate bullying with someone else but they torment you, fight back! If the school doesn’t understand that or whatever, you still have my support.

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re absolutely right! 💯 I love the fact that you would support your kids if the school suspended them for fighting in self-defense. Sadly, there are many kids who don’t get that support and it only pushes them into a corner they can’t get out of.

  5. Ellie Thompson says:

    How strange – I was only having a conversation this afternoon with my therapist on this topic. As you know, I got bullied at school too – right through primary and then through secondary. I wish I’d read some of your posts back then as you’re so right. I never bit back and the abuse and bullying just continued to get worse. I got used like a pack-horse, made to carry a particular girl’s books, gym kit, shoes etc. around everywhere behind her. Although I lack confidence even now, I definitely wouldn’t let that continue now. Thanks for sharing some really useful thoughts, Cherie xx 💟❣💟

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re most welcome, Ellie! I’m so sorry youvhot treated like a servant by this girl! Reading this just got me so angry for you! My heart hurts for you! 😡🤬💔😥 Sending you warm thoughts of love!

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