What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.
When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit and gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances. Here are 6 easy steps to reclaim your personal power:
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Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.
When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for lies and name-calling your bullies try to bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself or to cause you to make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel happier and most alive.
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Be okay with who you are.
Realize that you are perfect just the way The Creator made you but know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement. That goes for you, me, and everyone. However, the problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.
Never put yourself down because bullies and everyone else is putting you down. In other words, no matter what they say or how they act toward you, do not, under any circumstances, lose sight of your worth. Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. The trick is to practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.
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Follow your goals and dreams.
What is your passion- the thing or things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do, that make you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone, especially a bully, thinks of you. Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!
However, do be prepared for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. They will most likely intensify their attacks. Also, realize that they will do these things because this new you will threaten the power, they’ve held over you. Put simpler, this happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing and it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of being bullied worse to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay somewhere down the line.
Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones. And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.
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Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.
In other words, stop beating yourself up because bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. Realize that you are, in fact, good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.
Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”
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Walk away from toxic people.
Toxic people, AKA bullies, abusers, users, and losers, serve no purpose but to bring you down and keep you there. These people can also be fakes who pose as your friends. Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults, guilt trips, or gaslights you does not deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments your way. Moreover, you’ll be much happier and at ease without them in your life. Be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!
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Get healthy.
When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight and exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your personal power.
Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature, and you will feel so much better about yourself. You will feel stronger, more confident and freer! And that is personal power. Most importantly, you will be surprised at how quickly your life will transform from depressing to amazing!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Once again, a great post Cherie! One point about number 2, I know because I experienced it, is that when you start to build yourself up, bullies will accuse you of being egotistical and fake. As long as you know you are genuine, then you should have no problems.
Thank you so much, Michael! And you’re so right. My experience was that they did accuse me of being fake, conceited, full of myself, arrogant… take your pick. But I didn’t let it bother me because I knew where it came from. Thank you so much for your on-point comment!
So many things to add here. You hit on what bullying is really about trying to project and take power. I think and it takes guts but when you are being bullied stand up for yourself, it’s easier said than done. Also if you see someone being bullied stand up for them. It may give them confidence to do the same and it shows them someone cares.
Also when it comes to personal power too many people accept bad relationships. He/She should support our interests and projects, not dictate to us who are friends can be and be jealous and be a consistent encourager. If we have to hang up the phone when they are home, we have allowed power to be taken. In the workplace, respect your boss but don’t let then talk down to us and don’t let any coworker doing the same job as us ever tell us what to do. They do their job, we do ours. Power can be taken from us by people who aren’t “enemies” too.
And as far as physical health. Yes lots of Vitamin D (Sun). Go for a swim or bike ride, join a gym or something. Don’t be afraid to change a hair style/color. Men, reading this to be ashamed to be going bald. Women don’t be ashamed of a few gray hairs or think wearing less makeup is bad. And don’t be afraid to buy some short shorts or strut around the house in a bathing suit or bikini. If it doesn’t fit great, set a goal to get there. And devote time to yourself, friends and hobbies. Things that empower you and remember true friends celebrate victories and love us being ourselves even if someone is quirky. (We all are!)
This is an awesome post, Care! And so true! Thank you so much for your insight! I love it! And I’m sure many readers will too! Blessings to you! 💖🌸