If a bully cuts their eyes at you, return the gesture. If she tries to stare you down, never look away because she will only take that as fear, and from then on, you’ll be her new source of power. Always glare back without blinking and stand with your feet apart and arms akimbo to take up some space. This is known as a “power pose.”
You may have to stand that way and stare for a while if she sees your response as a challenge, but if you hold your position long enough, she’ll finally get tired and move on.
Understand that any time a person uses this type of body language toward you without provocation, they are clearly saying that they’re superior to you and attempting to dominate you. So always, always reciprocate any dirty looks and dominate or intimidating body language. Assert your power this way, and soon, the bully will get the message that you’re confident, fearless, and not one she should mess with.
independent 20s girl with threatening body language
It’s not what you say. It’s what you do. Nonverbal communication is over eighty percent of communication. Talk is cheap, and if your words don’t match your body language, bullies will pick up on it, and they will eat you alive!
If you’re the timid type, there are plenty of books you can read to learn confident body language and power pose. Once you read, practice, and learn what nonverbal cues convey power, you must practice those poses until they become comfortable to you.
Remember that bullies always target someone they perceive to be lacking in confidence, timid, and insecure because that person is least likely to fight back. To look confident, fearless, and secure, practice open body language.
Stand with your feet apart and arms uncrossed (crossed arms are closed body language and make you look insecure and untrustworthy). When a bully confronts you, never look down or away. Always look the bully in the eye, and she will see that you aren’t afraid and likely move on to someone else.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Nice
Thank you!
Very good advice. I’ve glared a few bullies down in my lifetime…never show fear.
Thank you so much, Kathy! And you’re absolutely right! 💯Show even the slightest signs of fear and they’ll attack like a pack of wild wolves!
Yep…I’ve seen it happen.
Me too, girl! And it wasn’t pretty! 😮
When the bully is a schoolboy, and his target looks at him in the eyes, returning the gesture, the bully will most likely attack. I mean, physical attack, like an angry monkey. He gets even more annoyed when you look at his face somewhere above his eyes. 🙂
That’s true. But still, if you look away, the bully will see it as fear and attack anyway…all for the thrill of feeling powerful. Thank you so much for your comment! You just inspired a future post! 😀
When I was about 11 years old, I played humble when the bully was with his “gang”, and then one day I caught him alone, I took him by surprise and I beat him until he was just laying down crying. It was quite a mess, and I was very sorry immediately after my spontaneous satisfaction. Boys can be very violent.
That’s true. And there are exceptions to this- times when you should definitely look away…ie when it’s a large gang. But I’m glad you picked a good time to handle business! 😀
it’s my pleasure to hearing from you it could financial support aswell thanks
You’re very welcome, Raymond. And I wish I could, but we’re struggling as well.
Hello hi to day I will appreciate your strong as well thanks
You’re most welcome, Raymond!
it’s my pleasure
This is not something I’m proud of, it could have had horrible consequences. Why didn’t I speak to my parents or my teachers about my problems?? Because, at that time, it was a “shame” to do so; it would have been disqualifying for me as a boy. You know…
Years have passed, and my ex-bully and I became good collegues. It actually was a happy end that doesn’t happen very often.
I’m do glad you and your bully became friends. Now that is a blessing! And I understand about the fear of having your man-card revoked. I know many males who didn’t dare breathe a peep about any bullying they suffered.
it’s my pleasure to hearing from you plz
Thank you so much, Raymond. 🙂
It’s my pleasure but I would like to have your support as well thanks
I follow and like your blogposts, Raymond. What kind of support are you talking about?
Very nice
Thank you bunches!
Body language says so much. Thank you for sharing.
Great advice! I recently used it on a business bully! 😉
I’m glad to hear this, Maryanne. Glad you made the bully slink back into their hole. 😀
More great advice I wish I had back in the day. With body language, I would go from one extreme to the other. When I was in the marines, I used to saunter around like I was Billy Badass. While it kept the bullies away, it put people off as well.
You were only doing it to survive, Michael. It’s completely understandable. But, just the same, I’m proud of you for finding the middle ground.
Thank you Cherie, it took me a long time to find that middle ground.
Man, this is some Batman kind of action. 🦇 Stare ’em down and tell ’em to back the freak off! 🤨😤😠 Another great message Cherie dawwwwwlinkkkkk!!! 🤗💖🌟
Thank you so much, sweetie! Your comments always get me pumped! Do you know that? Love you, girlie! 😍😍😍
Chile Cherie, you make it so easy to digest your words of knowledge and instruction. I appreciate ya and as I said to you before, you’ve come too far to slow up now! Boomshakalaka! 😁💖😍💋🥰
Boomshakalaka! Boom! No way I’m slowing down, girlie! Wouldn’t want to let not only everyone else but also myself down! 😁😁😁
There ya go!!! 🤗🙌🏼😘💋😍
😁😁😁
I found over the years that open face, direct bullying is far more easy to deal with than the subtilties of triggers that those who know us well can use. They can smile at a table full of guests and shoot a bullet no one else catches. The ones who hurt me me most were supposed close childhood friendships and family members who targeted me for a reaction.
You said that perfectly, Rock! You’re so right! And they do it not only to hurt you but to shut you up. In using the subtleties, they mentally tie you up and gag you. Awesome comment! You inspired a future post!
You are right.good advices to new generations.🙏🏼🌺🙏🏼
Thank you so much! 💖😊
Most welcome,my dear!!🌺❤🌺
This is very good advice. It signals you’re onto them and that you’re not going to submit to their whims.
Absolutely right, Sara! 💯
I agree! I always think about cats in situations like this. If you ever watch a cat they will hiss at one another, will stare each other down and arch their back to appear bigger. But watch the eyes especially. If one cat is intimidated during the stare down, their eyes will get big and they will cower down admitting they don’t want the challenge. I think in some ways humans have to do that, do not be afraid of that stare down. Even walking with your head down is seen sometimes as a sign of submission and a bully looks for that. If he/she acts or looks intimidated they feel even more open to torment someone else because they know the person is not going to defend themselves.
Even among siblings, there is a certain amount of that who is the dominant one and a lot of it comes down to body language. Watch any sport and watch athletes get in each other’s face etc. It is all about are you going to stand in there or not.
Absolutely right! 💯 Cats are a perfect example of this! And you’re right again about posture! Never ever look down, always stand up straight, and walk with a purpose! That’s how you lessen your chance of being bully-bait!
nice!
Thank you so much! 😀 And welcome!
My youngest daughter has been bullied at school recently, so this is food for thought.
I’m so sorry your daughter is treated so horribly at school, Jennifer. Please let her know that she has value and that she’s precious no matter what her bullies may tell her. Know that she has people in her corner and so do you. Sending lots of love and light your way. 💖🌻🌷🌺🌞
Thank you so much, Cherie. Yes, these are exactly the kinds of words I regularly share with her. I am truly grateful for your expression of warmth and support🌷❤️
You’re most welcome, Jennifer! You and your daughter are always welcome here. 💖🌺🌷
🌷 :)🌈
My sister in law was able to reduce Mum and me to tears by glaring many times.. One day her daughter handed Mum a tissue as she left in retreat.. my Mum did a wrong thing to her but my sister in law never forgave.. so it was complex but even today I was saying to my therapist how she hated dogs calling them pathetic.. this just makes me realize its horrible to live with such a calcified heart.. This is good advice.. being intimidated leads no where good.
I’m so sorry you have such a toxoc and distressing person in your family. Know that neither your mother or you are responsible for her behavior and it only shows that she has mental issues of her own and she is only trying to project her issues onto you. Always remember that. 💖🌻🌷🌺
yes so true Cherie.. she is not a loving person.. sad for her but she seems happier that way. maybe we were the ones who hurt more, trying to love and stay close? I dont know
That’s sad for her. It sounds like she lives a very sad existence.
Ice Kingdom Cherie sooo cold!!
I’m so sorry, Deborah. Someone must’ve hurt her so deeply. It’s only my guess. 💔😢
Her Mum died when she was about 12 Cherie.. so I do get it but we have a choice, face pain and wounds or erect walls and use weaponry to defend it.. I thank Matthew Boggs for that insight..
Absolutely! And she made the wrong choice.
<3 love your soul, darling lady.
Awww! Thank you so much! 😍😍😍
But if so, it doesn’t excuse her behavior.
That is true.. Sadly she sees nothing wrong in it.
That’s typical of narcissistic bullies, sadly.
Yes the key is rejected vulnerability as without that defenselessness its literally impossible to connect, but this what the fear of suffering does, but the wisest kindest people are those willing to be openhearted and suffer pain, not in a masochistic way but transform and deepen the soul into love.. Hugs <3
And this comment was spot on, sweetie! How right you are! 💯💯💯