If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these very legitimate questions a million times over.
“If these bullies despise me so much, why don’t they just get a life and leave me alone?”
“If they think that I’m such a bad person, why don’t they just let me go?”
“Why don’t they just drop me completely, go on about their business and let me go on about mine?”
“If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”
“If my bullies hate me so much, wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they (figuratively) just stayed in their corner of the room and let me stay in mine? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?
“If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why even bother? Why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”
“Why would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”
“Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”
After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem- they stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?
Unfortunately, that’s not how it works out.
As much as I hate to break it to you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace if they have selected you to be their target.
And here’s why:
Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone. You just happen to be the easiest target for them, you are the person they have in their sights, so their goal is to subjugate you, to hold you down and oppress you. Realize that this is the only way bullies can thrive. In fact, their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.
In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way. Outside of trying to control and keeping a tight grip on the lives of others, bullies can’t find meaning in their lives, nor any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.
Bullies have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. The vast majority are only life-losers disguised as winners and cloaked with false perfection. So, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find their meaning- which is their sense of effectiveness and self-worth is by using force and riding roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.
You must realize that if your bullies just left you alone, they would have nothing else because there is nothing left out there for them.
These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community but again, outside of the environments they take over, make toxic, and rule with iron fists, they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!
On the other hand, their targets and others who are normal and have healthy mentalities don’t have to bully others to find meaning in their lives because they already have it outside the bullying environment. These people find meaning through unity and togetherness with their families, their friends, their churches, homes, or through their love and pursuit of their talents, hobbies, and interests.
Sadly, bullies don’t have these things to fall back on.
Understand that bullies must have targets (victims). In fact, they need targets- people who they can oppress and subjugate- people they can order around and tell what to do because bullying itself requires targets. Take the target out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist.
If one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t rule over no one- you’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around. You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom because for a kingdom to even exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.
Put another way, it would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island- if a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power. It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.
Here’s another thing to consider: if you’re a target of bullying, the mere fact that you want to get away from your bullies- that you want to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person will enrage your bullies.
Any attempts you make to evade them will be met with insane anger and the escalation of abuse to punish you because when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.
The same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. It drives him crazy and not because he’s loses her but because he loses power over her. Bullies are no different and their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.
Remember that bullying is abuse, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse, and abuse is about power. Bullying and abuse are one and the same, so, they’re both about power.
Therefore, bullies will never allow you to live in peace. The reason bullies won’t leave you alone because to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Here’s Why Bullies Will Never Let You Live in Peace”
Excellent post. You have provided a great insight on why the bullies like to control others and what goes in their minds. Great information.
Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means and I’m so glad this helps. Have a wonderful Wednesday. 😊
Thank you. 😊
You’re most welcome, Sandra. 😊
Cherie, this article has some really good points – excellent. However, I would never believe that a bully will NOT go away. The word never is so permanent. It’s dark and gloomy for someone who is suffering. Many times good and wonderful things happen even when things seem impossible. This has happened in all our lives…..we are shown the way. I do not believe that a bully is unredeemable. God help the entire human race if we are not redeemable when sinning. Grace abounds to everyone. Wisdom is needed in every decision of our lives. By that I mean, choose your friends, husband, colleagues carefully. Do not go rushing into relationships without seriously examining it. Once you rush in where angels fear to tread, you’re in deep trouble. There’s always a way to successfully handle a situation….even if it means a rough and tough way. We are not bound to the antics of evil people who are influenced by Satan, who is the great enemy of our soul. There’s a way stretched out in front of us, if we look for it.
You do have a point there, Mary. This is not something I thought about, however, I do believe it is extremely difficult to get bullies to go away. Maybe I should have reworded it in that context. Thank you so much for your thoughts. They really are appreciated.
Cheri, I agree, and believe 100% that it is difficult to get bullies to go away. They love what they are doing. Don’t reword a bit of your article. It’s really good. As you can see it prompted me to comment, and that’s just what is great about blogging. We get other’s points of view. I’ll bet that you have lots of victims being helped and encouraged when reading your articles. I’m really happy to be following you. Bravo!
Oh my goodness, Mary! You don’t know how much your comment means, sweetie. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words! You just made my day! <3
If they won’t go away, can you say “File Charges” boys and girls? To me, if they are threatening, document, document, video, and record. They can either go away or go to freaking jail. Their choice! 👮🏼♀️🚓👮🏼♂️
Thank you, girl! You said that perfectly! 💯🚔🚓⚖👮👮♀️
SMH, you would think we would be farther along such issues by now. But if we were, then we’d have to find another topic that would probably be boring in comparison to focus on. Love ya girlfriend!!! Hugs and smooches!!! 🤗💐😘🌟🥰
You got that right! Hugs and smooches back! 😘🤗😘🤗😘🤗
You’re very welcome. 🙂
I am honored
Spot on! Seven or Eight years ago, a certain individual (lived a couple blocks away) decided I was going to be her new best friend…. I didn’t need a new bestie because I still was fine with the one I’d had for decades… Long story short, at that time, I has having spine issues/surgery on C4, which had gotten cracked, so I had to wear a ‘collar’ for a few weeks and probably looked weak … She was getting pushy because I never wanted her help, but I continued to be polite. Will never forget the day she came over and I was cooking something, so my back was to here – I tend to put chopping boards on the stove and dump things into the pot/pan as soon as they are cut… She had come in and was nagging me – I slowly turned to face her, butcher knife still in hand… I was really fed up with her, and didn’t say a word, but she blanched when she saw that knife… quick made an excuse to leave and wasn’t a problem afterward – not for me, though she remained a problem for some others in the neighborhood.
Would love to know why she went pale at the sight of that knife. I had no intention of attacking her, and was merely holding it because I’d been chopping an onion.
Wow! Hahahahaha! It’s a good thing she took it wrong and never came back! 😀 I wish I was a fly on the wall for that one, Jeanne! LOL
Great post dear Cherie! Thanks for share. It is very important.
Have a wonderful time!
You’re most welcome, Elvira. This means a lot, sweetie! You have a wonderful day too! <3
Thank you Cherie, It is a pleassure to follow your blog. Wonderful day too dear!
When they see that there are winning and making you suffer they strike harder. I so wish I could have super powers and sense when someone is being bullied.
Oh, girl! You are so right! 💯 They want to see how badly they can would you. They’re like sharks.🦈🦈🦈 When they see blood in the water, they move in for the kill strike. And I wish I had those super powers too. 🦸♂️🦸♀️🦸 Thank you so much, Bella, for your thoughts! 💖💐🌹 They’re so important!
Real, healthy power is power to do things WITH people, to co-oporate and share. Power OVER another person is VIOLENCE and abuse, not power. To try to make or force, even PERSUADE, another person to do something is always ASSAULT, no matter who is doing it. 🌸🌸🌸
That’s right Jim. 💯 There’s having Personal Power and then Power Over! The latter is abuse!
you are correct once again 👍
Interesting in-site. Tks
You’re most welcome! 😊