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bullying the disabled people

Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

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‘Want to know the reasons why so many people participate in bullying the disabled? If you are disabled or have a loved one who is, knowledge is the first step of defense. Here are the most common reasons you need to know about.

bullying the disabled

Millions of people with disabilities suffer horrendous bullying every day. It’s bad enough that they must contend with a disability they didn’t ask for. However, it’s much worse when they must face the cruelty of bullies along with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common reasons bullies prefer bullying the disabled people so that you can find out what cowards these people truly are. Moreover, you can use it to give them a dose of their own medicine when you see them target someone with a disability.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to more successfully defend yourself if you fall into this unfortunate category. And if you’re a perfectly healthy person and you see this kind of bullying, you can be an upstander and stand up for the person being bullied.

This post is all about bullying the disabled people and why people target them for cruelty so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to use it against bullies .

Bullying the Disabled

Before we go on, let me tell you that those with disabilities, especially people with mental disabilities, are some of the most resilient people you can find. This is what I’ve discovered.

The Strongest, Purest, and bravest of Souls

…are those with mental disabilities and those with functional needs.

If you’re from my generation, I’m sure you remember the series from the early ’90s, “Life Goes On.”

Therefore, if you remember this television series, then you automatically think of Corky Thatcher. He was the mentally challenged middle child of the Thatcher family, played by Chris Burke.

In fact, he has Down’s Syndrome in real life. Yet, he made it as an actor!

This post isn’t for personal gain. Moreover, chances are that neither Chris Burke nor any of the other cast members or producers will ever read this post.

Therefore, this post is strictly from the heart. Moreover, it’s about something that I’ve noticed on many, many occasions throughout my lifetime.

The Mentally and Intellectually disadvantaged have the purest and sweetest of hearts. However, they live in a world that looks down on them.

They’re the unwanted. People shun, ridicule, and brutalize them all the time. Yet, these angels maintain their smiles and their unconditional kindness.

Moreover, their moral compasses never waiver. They’re innocent, childlike, and have hearts of gold.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Exhibit the Most Resilience

I write books about unsung heroes, who are different and who bullies target daily. But I’ll tell you this:

These courageous, amazing real-life heroes are the best of the human race! I admire their unbreakable will and unshakeable courage.

The mentally disabled have a dogged determination, and amazing ability to keep smiles on their faces even under the most challenging of circumstances!

These are the people who have the fortitude to overcome odds that would be overwhelming to a cast majority of people. And I state this with full conviction.

These beautiful souls also work the lowliest of jobs. In other words, they do jobs that most people think are beneath them. Also, they display the best work ethic, the most dedication, and the most pride in their work. Yet, others treat them the worst and supervisors and coworkers devalue them.

Most Others Don’t Appreciate nor Value Them

These angels have more heart and soul than those who are typical and twice their ages.

You have to wonder how they do it. How do they find the resolve to go up against such tremendous odds every single day?

How do they keep pushing amid jeers, jokes, and cruel insults? Let me remind you. These are situations under which most everyday people would’ve thrown in the towel?

Here’s another reason why I salute the mentally and intellectually challenged. They don’t let on that they even realize it when the rest of the world is showing it’s booty to them.

Moreover, they’re the people who never complain nor feel sorry for themselves. On the other hand, most everyday people only crumble any time life gives them a one-two punch.

Still, people give people with these disabilities the least respect. Others devalue and abuse these people the most- all because they aren’t like them.

Moreover, these are the people who don’t retreat into drugs and alcohol. Instead, they retreat into their work and hobbies. They keep their minds occupied with things that interest them.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Display the Most Talent

I’ve found that these people show the most talent in the arts. Many of them draw and play musical instruments like professionals! Yet, others overlook those talents because of who they belong to!

I don’t claim to know for sure, so I can’t speak for all the mentally and intellectually disabled. However, through my observations over the years, I’ve come to realize this.

Maybe, those with these kinds of disabilities handle adversity with such grace and aplomb is that they’ve accepted it as their normal.

This isn’t to say that they don’t get hurt by it because they have feelings too. Moreover, they have the same desires as everyone else. They want to be loved and accepted for who they are.

We all have the desire to be apart of something and to be included. Humankind is hardwired that way.

But the mentally and intellectually challenged have such a way of bouncing back from years of repeated rejection. They come back to their cheerful selves much quicker! Moreover, they forgive much more readily and easily!

They Forgive the Quickest

That’s what makes them such beautiful souls! They’re the brightest and most brilliant lights in a very dark world! And it will go to their credit and be celebrated in The Afterlife!

Therefore, all I can say to the millions of earth angels is this:

Keep up the good fight! Keep being a shining example to the rest of the world! I love you all!

Bullying The Disabled:

those with Depression and who are neurologically diverse

Bullying disabled people is comparable to racism.

Discrimination is discrimination, and prejudice is prejudice. It doesn’t matter who’s dishing it out or who is receiving it.

Mentally ill people and the mentally disabled are still a minority. In fact, they’re the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation. It doesn’t matter their sex, race, religion, or orientation.

You may think that person is mentally imbalanced and they may not be. However, you’re still guilty of discrimination, prejudice, and bias.

Mentally ill people and those who are disabled are favorite targets of bullies.

Here are 5 reasons bullies target those with disabilities.

1. They are different.

It’s a fact that bullies will bully anyone who is different. It’s no different than being a racial minority, a woman, or being an older citizen.

2. They are least likely to have the ability or know-how to defend themselves.

People with mental illness or other disabilities are the most vulnerable, and bullies take full advantage!

3. Bullying the Disabled:

They don’t have the protections other oppressed groups Have.

In other words, they are the least represented. This makes them even more vulnerable. In fact, this puts them at the mercy of basically everyone!

Again, people with disabilities are the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation.

4. Many People don’t see them as human.

Therefore, they bully and abuse them at will and with impunity. Most people see those with disabilities as a drain on resources and on society.

They see them as contributing nothing to the world and long to be rid of them.

5. Others are least likely to believe them when they report Bullying and Abuse.

Therefore, their bullies and abusers get away with their abuse.

Bullying the Disabled:

The mentally disadvantaged have it even worse!

Other oppressed groups have more legal protections under the law than the mentally disadvantaged. Even those with physical disabilities have more protections.

Therefore, people who target these people, or stand by and watch it happen are no different than card-carrying racists.

There’s a term for this kind of bullying. It’s called Ableism!

Here’s something I’ll bet no one has thought of.

If a person bullies these people, they probably are a racist, homophobe, etc. They only hide it because it’s politically incorrect and against the law.

Moreover, society doesn’t consider it to be as evil or illegal to discriminate against those perceived to be mentally disadvantaged.

Those with mental illness or autism spectrum disorder are safer victims to bully. Therefore, they’re who bullies feel safer to target.

Most bullies are racists and sexists at heart because bullies don’t accept anyone who is not like them. It doesn’t matter what the difference is.

People With Autism Spectrum Disorder.

People with autism and other neurological disorders suffer extremely high rates of victimization and bullying.

It’s bad enough that they must go through life struggling with a disability they have no control over. Even worse, they also struggle with constant cruelty from people in the general population because of that disability.

“A new study finds that children with autism spectrum disorders are bullied for more often than their typically developing peers.” (healthland.time.com)

According to Time Magazine (the above link), 46% of children on the spectrum reported being bullied compared to only 10% of neurotypical kids.

And the statistics are estimated to be even higher. Why? Because many of those with ASD are nonverbal. Also, their inability to read social cues also contributes to the low reports.

They cannot recognize the subtler forms of abuse. Therefore, they can’t report anything they don’t know is occurring.

Bullies quickly zero in on the repetitive behaviors and being highly sensitive to external stimuli. So, there’s another reason. They’re easy victims.

It’s important that we teach these people productive ways to defend themselves. Moreover, we must reach out and protect them. Only then will the rates of bullying among these groups go down.

This post is all about bullying the disabled, why bullies target them the most, and what we can do to help these victims.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

2. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

the psychology of bullying at school

The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

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‘Want to know the psychology of bullying and all the motivations behind it? Here are all the reasons of bullying you need to know about.

the psychology of bullying

To understand and combat bullying, you must first know the psychology of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the psychology of bullying and all the things that motivate people to bully. Moreover, you will learn the goals and intentions behind it.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better equipped to defend yourself against it.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying so that you become a powerful weapon against any bully who tries to attack you.

The Psychology of Bullying

Straight up. Bullies reap many psychological rewards from bullying their victims. Moreover, it’s those rewards that motivate bullies to bully.

If you’ve fallen victim to bullying, you must know what the motivators for bullying are. Once you know these things, you’ll no longer continue to rack your brain, asking yourself, “Why me?”.

Moreover, any confusion and bewilderment will disappear and you’ll be compelled to stand up for yourself.

7 Things that motivate people to bully

What motivates bullies to bully you? Here are your answers.

1. The Desire for Power, Domination, and control.

Bullies crave power. However, the only way they can get it is by abusing their victims. In other words, the only way they can feel powerful is by dominating and controlling you.

To bullies, it’s an addiction. Power is like a drug to bullies. It gives them a rush but wears off quickly. Therefore, they’ll always come back for more.

You must realize that your bullies will never stop bullying you until you stand up to them.

2. The Psychology of Bullying:

To Cover up Truths that Make Them Uncomfortable.

Bullies may bully you because you may represent facts they don’t like. You may be an authentic person who sees through their bullshit.

Or, you may be the type who tells it like it is. This scares your bullies because there’s a chance you could call them out on their bullshit.

Therefore, they try to intimidate you into staying quiet.

Bullies aren’t concerned with facts. Especially when those facts threaten them.

For instance, let’s say that your bullies have spread all kinds of lies about you. Understand that your bullies already know the truth. Oh, yes!

They’re fully aware that you aren’t who they say you are. However, here’s the thing.

The truth doesn’t fit their narrative. Therefore, they’ll go out of their way to make the falsehoods look true. Realize that your bullies benefit from ruining of your reputation. And they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those benefits.

It takes a ton of work to cover up lies and half-truths. Why? Because bullies will tell the first lie and have to put out a second lie to cover up the first.

Then they’ll need to lie a third time to cover up the first two lies about you.

Lies have a way of building. They build so much that it soon becomes hard for the bullies to keep their stories straight. I mean, seriously! After so long and so many lies, who can keep up with all that?

Therefore, the best thing you can do is stay calm and play your hand correctly. Do this and your bullies will eventually spin themselves into their own web and get stuck in it.

Then you can sit back and watch them fall into the trap of their own making.

3. The Psychology of Bullying:

A Bully needs a victim.

Bullies need victims. Why? Because, to appear almighty and powerful, bullies must have someone to subjugate.

If bullies don’t have someone to dominate, they won’t know what to do with themselves. Therefore, don’t be that person.

See the bullying for what it is. It’s only your bullies’ attempts to seem powerful. Then, stand up to them. You must defend yourself, even if you must put up your fists and fight!

Once you begin standing up for yourself, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift.

In other words, you’ll automatically tip the scales of power in your favor. And you will cease to be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower your bullies is to re-empower yourself.

Once you stop being a victim, your bullies will no longer have power over you. As a result, they’ll leave you alone and go search for another victim.

4. Sadism and Schadenfreude.

None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world. However, there are people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

They get even more pleasure if the sufferer is someone they despise. Therefore, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they enjoy it.

They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

And let’s face it. Nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

Therefore, no one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person.

Realize that to sadistic people, bullying others is like pulling the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm. Moreover, these types of bullies will come back to bully you again to keep getting that pleasure.

These types of bullies don’t just get their pleasure from bullying you. They also get it from watching you react to the pain.

For instance, psychological bullies will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them. The reaction could be crying or anger.

And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them. Sadistic bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water.

5. The Psychology of Bullying:

Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing you, every bit of it is proof that they feel threatened.

Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you.

They work twice as hard to keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them.

In other words, you defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to stand up to them too. Then, the bullies would lose all respect, status, and authority (power).

6. Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look like punks. This goes double if you do it in front of an audience.

Therefore, this is another reason bullies will retaliate. They do it to punish you. Moreover, this punishment is designed to subdue you and keep you under their power.

To save their “tough” reputations, your bullies must take revenge. Revenge is, is punishment for you and justice for your bullies.

Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits.

They need gratification and satisfaction. And when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

However, don’t cave in. Realize that any time you stand against evil, it always gets worse before it gets better. Therefore, don’t give up. And don’t give in.

Be just as determined to defend yourself as your bullies are to subdue you. In other words, when they double down, so do you.

7. The Psychology of Bullying:

Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up. And they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them.

Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly those with narcissism, always discard those they deem to be losers.

On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those bullies see as threats are a lot of hard work. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

Therefore, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. And it isn’t because you’re weak.

It’s because you pose a threat to them somehow. Moreover, that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be subtle.

For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible. Maybe, it’s an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

Nevertheless, you must continue to defend yourself. The last thing you want to do is back down from these assholes.

Continue to stand strong. Refuse to tolerate their abusive behavior. Keep fighting no matter how hard things get.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying to relieve any confusion or bewilderment you may have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

3. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

4. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

healing from bullying as an adult

Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

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Would you like to know the best things you can do when healing from bullying? Here are 11 ways to do it that I and so many other survivors swear by.

healing from bullying

Bullying is very traumatic and impacts self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life.

The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways to healing from bullying so that you can begin rebuilding your life and take back your power.

Once you learn all about these important techniques, you will be compelled to put them to work for you and began putting the pieces back together again. In that, you will eventually get back to the happier life you once knew.

This post is all about healing from bullying so that you can start anew and look forward to a beautiful future!

Healing from Bullying

Healing for bullying can be difficult and may time years. However with these eight tips, you’ll heal quicker and more successfully.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker.

1. Seek Therapy.

I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it. However, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself.

You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. So, don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others.

People are going to have something to say whether you do or you don’t. Therefore, do what’s best for you and to hell with them.

2. Healing from Bullying:

Rest.

When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’ll more than likely to be exhausted. Therefore, get plenty of sleep.

Also, take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music.

Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation. Also, you can play some slow jams like TLC or Keith Sweat.

Or, you can pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you dance. There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul.

 Moreover, you could rock out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest, or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So, get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

4. Healing from Bullying:

Lean on the people who love you.

One of the most important things you need is a network of friends and loved ones who support you. Especially when you’re recovering from bullying!

Therefore, keep company with the people who uplift you, love you, and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most.

Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities. Hobbies allow us to be creative. Therefore, if you create, you feel accomplished! So, rake in those little successes!

It’s those tiny little wins that will make you feel so much better!

6. Exercise.

Exercise is a major stress-buster. Moreover, you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out in the gym or at home, to a workout video.

Whatever strikes your fancy, get moving and exercise! It will make you feel so much better!

7. Healing from Bullying:

Forgive.

Forgiving anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m probably going to piss a few people off with this.  In fact, there was once a time I would get angry any time someone advised me to forgive my bullies.

However, since then, I’ve discovered that forgiveness is how we heal.

I do understand if you aren’t ready. Sometime you must heal before you can forgive. Therefore, take time to process the abuse you suffered and recover first. Only you know when you’re ready.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean you have to be friends with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to let them back into your life if you don’t want to.

It’s totally up to you.

If you don’t trust the person, that’s okay too. Some people, you can never trust and you must forgive them from afar. However, do forgive them. It will help you more than you know.

8. Take a trip.

After being in a toxic environment for so long, you may need to get away for a while. Therefore, visit a family member in another state.

You can also embark on a camping trip in the mountains. Or, you can hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of seagulls and crashing waves.

Whether you prefer a tropical island or an Alaskan getaway, you’ll return home feeling much better!

9. Healing from Bullying:

Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals.

You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe you can go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. In other words, don’t isolate yourself.

Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks. Alcohol is a depressant! Moreover, if you must have a few drinks, don’t forget to have a designated driver handy.

Healing can take a while to do and may also take much work. But in the end, it’ll be worth it!

10. Treat yourself to a pampering session.

What is a pampering session. It can be anything, from a facial to a pedicure. Moreover, you can treat yourself to a manicure or a new hairdo.

Maybe you’re the type who likes a deep massage in a spa. Also, you can treat yourself to the works – all of the above! There are spas that will give you the royal treatment for a nice discount!

If you’re a little low on funds, you can also give yourself a pampering session at home. For example, you could buy some bath bombs and treat yourself to a relaxing soak in the bathtub.

Or, you can give yourself a pedicure. All you need is a small tub and some warm water to soak your feet in. Also, you can use a pumice stone, foot file, and cuticle stick to remove dead skin and rough spots from your feet and toes.

To top it off, you can paint your toenails. Whatever you like to do, practice self-care. It will make a big difference in how you feel!

11. Healing from Bullying:

Protect and defend yourself from those who wish to harm you.

This means protecting your mind and spirit from attacks as well as your body. If someone attacks you verbally, no matter how subtle the attacks may be, you have a right to respond in kind.

If some creep tries to use physical violence against you, by all means, fight back! The point is to set boundaries! And, if you need to, enforce those boundaries!

Say no. Moreover, call out anyone who tries to abuse you. Whatever you do, never take abuse lying down. Ever!

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Therefore, if someone violates your boundaries in any way, call it out. Tell that person, in no uncertain terms, to stop it now!

Let them know that you won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Do what you must do to defend yourself from bullying and abuse.

Remember that you have just as much of a right to safety, respect, and dignity as the next person. Therefore, defend yourself as you would your best friend!

In fact, be your own best friend! Let no one disrupt your peace. Moreover, don’t allow anyone to stand in the way of your healing!

In Conclusion:

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  Moreover, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially when you’re healing from bullying!

Be prepared for naysayers to tell you that you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. However, don’t you believe it for a second!

Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. That includes you! Therefore, love yourself enough to put yourself first.

Because, baby! You’re worth it!

This post is all about healing from bullying and ways to do it so that you can recover without any disruptions and take your power back!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

confronting bullying at school

Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

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‘Want to know about confronting bullying and the blow back you’ll likely get so that you can be encouraged to stay strong and keep speaking out and defending yourself? Here are all the ways bullies retaliate when you confront their bullying head-on.

confronting bullying

Confronting bullying isn’t easy by any means. Bullies can be intimidating and you may balk at standing up for yourself because you don’t know what the bullies might do. However, bullies are just as humanly vulnerable as you. They just won’t tell you.

This is why you must defend yourself no matter what your bullies may say or do to retaliate. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what comes with confronting bullying so that you will be prepared.

Once you know all about this life-changing information, you will be compelled to keep your wits about you and confront bullying no matter how intimidating the bullies are.

Confronting Bullying

Confronting bullying can be one of the scariest things to do. However, if you want to ensure your safety later, it’s something you must do.

You know bullying when you feel it.

One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Bullies and others will often confuse and mislead you. They will tell you that no one is bullying you. Maybe they’ll accuse you of having paranoia.

When you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing or dismissing what you just experienced. They may tell you, “it’s only in your mind” or accuse you of being too sensitive.

If you’re not careful, they may even convince you of it! This will only force you to endure the torment in silence. Bullying feeds on silence.

Bullying Cannot Thrive Without Silence

Therefore, people will let the bully off the hook. Even worse, they’ll be free to target you again in the future. The bully gets the message that it’s okay to target you.

So, they’ll bully you simply because they can. And they do it with impunity.

After so long, you’ll begin  to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. You’ll then question your own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.”

Moreover, you’ll grow silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “having paranoia,” “unhinged” or “overly sensitive.”

However, know that these labels mean to undermine and steal your voice.

Confronting Bullying:

It’s Not Only In Your Mind.

If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby or whatever else unsavory people may call you.

Therefore, always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!

You can sense it. Moreover, you can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.

You can see and hear them talking through their teeth. Also, you can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.

You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!

Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you.

It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out!

Why? Because they aren’t worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological. Also, never allow anyone to silence you. Speak out! Refuse their gaslighting.

Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. Also, setting boundaries is equally important. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.

It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.

Confronting Bullying:

Don’t be afraid of your bullies’ reactions to your speaking out.

When you begin speaking out about your bullies and their abusive behavior, you put them on high alert. In other words, you put them in defense mode.

This is when they’ll do one, some, or all of four things.

1. Lash out at you.

This is, perhaps, the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names- everything but a child of God.

I know it’s difficult but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

See it for what it is. You just forced them to reveal their true colors. Any time your bullies get outraged and attack you , that’s when you know you’ve busted them.

Again, you’ve forced them to out themselves! Yay for you!

2. Deny their abuse, and sometimes to your face.

Lots of times, bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively. They’ll swear up and down they never bullied or mistreated you.

They may even throw out subtle hints that you must’ve misinterpreted them. They’ll claim that you “have everything misconstrued.”

Again, no matter how calmly or subtly they do it, this is gaslighting. Moreover, it speaks volumes about their character.

3. Confronting Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you call out their abuse, is the second bullies lose control over you. If these people can no longer control you, they will control your image in the eyes of others. Therefore, they’ll tell everyone who will listen what a lying, lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control.

They’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face. The last thing bullies want is for you to expose them.

Most of the time, your bullies will tell others that you’re experiencing some sort of mental episode. This is the classic reaction of abusers. They always attack your mental health.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care. Therefore, they wouldn’t react so desperately.

See this as an admission of guilt.

4. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared.

However, this is the best outcome. If they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them bullying you again.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

So, the last thing they want is to do anything that will make them look guilty. They fear their reputations are already on shaky ground.

These people are cowards, yes. However, they’re making the smartest move by simply staying away from you. They’ll even avoid mentioning your name.

Be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others.

Or, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth. Different bullies and abusers react in different ways. They may use one or all of the above measures to discredit you.

Confronting Bullying:

Bullies count on you staying quiet about their abuse.

You must realize that bullies and abusers, even former bullies, count on your silence. In fact, they detest, or more appropriately, fear being exposed.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because they risk losing respect in the community. The last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Bullies make everything about appearances. Therefore, when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both. They may make the following statements.

  • “Well, we were just kids then.”
  • “But that’s all water under the bridge.”
  • “Just let bygones be bygones.”
  • ”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it.” Also, they may accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

However, your bullies have other objectives as well:

  • Bullies say these things to minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
  • Also, they want to make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
  • And, to cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

Therefore, don’t be afraid. Instead, see through it all and let them launch their personal attacks.

Before I close, I’d like to make another huge point. When you speak out about the abuse, you force your bullies to explain themselves.

Anyone who must explain and justify themselves is never in a powerful position.

So, in forcing your bullies to explain themselves you instantly snatch them out of their position of power. You move them into a position of vulnerability.

In other words, you automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a very helpless and subordinate place. In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

Confronting Bullying:

Power doesn’t explain itself.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their power. And their perceived authority disappears with it.

Why? Because neither power nor authority explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

Hence the reason bullies despise even the thought of having to give explanations. It puts them in a weak and subordinate position.

No wonder bullies get nuts when you out them!

This post is all about confronting bullying and everything that comes with it so that you can gather the courage to take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

4. What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

bullying and gaslighting at work

Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

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‘Want to know about bullying and gaslighting and the different ways bullies may gaslight you? Here are all the important things you need to know.

bullying and gaslighting

Bullying is bad enough. However, when you top it off with gaslighting, it only victimizes you over and over again. You don’t have to put up with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and gaslighting and seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can use these gaslighting phrases and tactics to protect yourself.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a warrior against any gaslighting some creep tries with you.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting. It gives you the seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can successfully push back against it and save your self-esteem from being torn to shreds.

Bullying and Gaslighting

Before we get into the different ways bullies gaslight you, let’s first discuss exactly what bullies do when they gaslight you. So, what is the definition of gaslight?

Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.

Remember that bullying is all about domination and control. Once the bully selects you as their intended target, they will start out subtly. Then, they will slowly increase the severity of their abuse.

Moreover, they will do everything possible to maintain that power. And how they maintain power is to gaslight you, once you begin defending yourself.

Understand that bullies get a huge psychological payoff at your expense. Abusing you gives them that psychological reward.

And that reward is the rush of power and a sense of authority and control they get at your expense.

Psychological Rewards of Bullying.

We just mentioned some of the rewards – power, control, dominance, and a sense of authority. However, what are other psychological rewards bullies get from bullying you?

When bullies bully you, others also reward them with attention, high social status and promotions.

 Therefore, again, bullies will fight like the devil to keep those benefits. Moreover, if you speak out and shed light on their behavior, that’s when the gaslighting begins.

Bullying and Gaslighting:

How Gaslighting Starts

When you begin noticing that your bullies are abusing you, you’ll likely report it. Moreover, you’re also likely to begin standing up to them.

And once you start rocking the boat, your bullies will become angry and afraid. Why? Because you become a threat to their power.

Therefore, the bullies only increase the abuse to subdue you. But that’s not all. Your bullies also want to punish you.

Seasoned bullies maintain power by psychological and emotional abuse. This involves, gaslighting. However, it also includes brainwashing to dis-empower you.

Realize that they use these methods because this type of bullying leaves no visible evidence. Therefore, it’s much easier for them to deny it.

7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

1. Persistent lying

Bullies tell vague lies, trying to make you believe that you that you are defective somehow. Also, they may try to convince you that you deserve the mistreatment.

I say, vague lies because, if you notice, they never tell you what your defect is. They also never tell you exactly what you did to deserve the abuse.

Moreover, bullies will spread lies about you to other people. They may tell them,

  • “He’s a waste of space, and he needs to realize it already!”
  • “She’s such an embarrassment! How does she even show her face in public every day?”
  • “She brought it all on herself!”

However, they’ll never, ever elaborate on any of those statements. And they won’t have to. Why? Because the people who hear these things will fill in the blanks.

They will most likely assume that you must have done something to deserve the abuse. Because, why would this person say such terrible things about you if you didn’t have it coming?

Bullying and Gaslighting:

What Your Bullies Will Say to You

  • “What are you smiling about? Nobody likes you! Remember?”
  • “I’m not bullying you! You’re just over-reacting!”
  • “You’re just being (overly sensitive, a crybaby, etc.)! You need help!”
  • “Nobody’s mistreating you! You’re just playing the victim to look innocent to everyone else!
  • “You think you’re (smart, pretty, cute, tough, cool, etc.), don’t’ you! You’re nothing!”
  • “You’re so (arrogant, ugly, etc.)!”
  • “Nobody will ever believe a word you say!”

I could go on and on.

Understand that bullies deliberately repeat these lies to convince you that they’re right. Moreover, they repeat these lies for weeks, months, even years.

However, the constant repetition has a purpose! And that is to brainwash you and turn you against yourself. If your bullies get get you to see yourself through their eyes, then they can get everyone else to as well.

In other words, if you start to believe the bully’s lies, others will too.

As a result, you become riddled with confusion. Also, you may develop social anxiety and shame. Eventually, you’ll lose the ability to counter the attacks

You must realize that this is all a strategy. And it’s designed to keep you under their control and from rebelling against the abuse.

2. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Wearing you down and forcing you to agree with them.

Bullies continue to bully you. In fact, they intensify the bullying.  But, understand that they do this for a reason.

And that reason is to wear you down until you’re is so tired of having to fight. Standing up for yourself takes a lot of energy. It puts you in survival mode.

Being in survival mode for a long time only tires you out. It depletes you of energy. This is how your bullies weaken you and take the fight out of you.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll grow so tired you’ll likely give up. And once you give up, your bullies have you right where they want you.

As a result, you’ll shut down, grow numb to the abuse and surrender to the bullies.

3. Becoming Highly Aggressive When you Call Out the Abuse

Bullies may try to maintain power by become extremely aggressive. Understand that this is designed to make you afraid. If they can subdue you with fear, then you’re least likely to keep standing your ground.

Moreover, your bullies can continue to subjugate you and keep you quiet. It also allows them to escape accountability and clear the way for future attacks.

4. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Blaming and Shaming You

Bullies blame you to take the guilt away from themselves. Moreover, when you speak out about their abuse, they will shame you for opening your mouth.

They may call you a crybaby, a wuss, a whiner, or a tattle tale. However, whatever they call you, bullies do it to shame you into silence.

5. Isolating You (Divide and Conquer)

Bullies will try to isolate you through social aggression. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you. Also they may threaten and intimidate your friends and associates for having anything to do with you.

Understand that bullies pull this tactic to get your friends to stop talking to you. If they can impose a high penalty on your friends for associating with you, the more likely they are to turn their backs on you.

If they can do this, then they can cut you off from any support or protection you may otherwise receive.

Then, once you’re isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the abuse to new heights.

But wait! Here’s another thing bullies may do.

If you express a desire to leave the environment (change schools or workplaces), the bullies may try to discourage you from leaving. Moreover, they’ll do it by convincing you that you won’t be treated any better anywhere else.

They may even try to block your transfer to cut off any means of escape.

6. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Trying to convince you that you need their approval to get along.

Bullies make themselves out to be superior. They’ll try to make you believe that you somehow need their approval. If bullies can make you depend on their permission, their power and control only increase.

Bullies do this by convincing you that they are the only ones who can better your situation. In other words, they want you to believe that only with their say so will you be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships!

In that, they make you believe that you can’t find happiness and fulfillment unless they approve.

And they will tie conditions to that approval. In other words, the bullies will make you think you must submit to their every whim to get any approval.

And they will try to make you do things you don’t want to do, no matter how demeaning. However, understand that bullies don’t honor deals! Ever!

Therefore, they will never leave you alone! And they will never give you their seal of approval. You must realize that all this is only another ploy to assert domination!

7. Making Empty Promises

Bullies will make all kinds of empty promises to get you to submit to their wishes. However, bullies never keep promises.

  • “If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
  • “Do that for me and I’ll be your friend.”
  • “If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”

Don’t you believe any of it!

You must understand that you can never appease a bully. You might for the time being. However, They will always come back for more later.

Bullies will never go away. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power.

Bullies are like bottomless pits. No matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue the torment. Therefore, you must realize that no amount of abuse is ever enough for a bully.

Remember that bullies are addicted to power. Bullying is the only way they can get that power. Therefore, abusing you is like a drug to them and they can never get enough!

Bullying and Gaslighting:

So, How Do You Stop Bullies from Bullying You?

1. Keep standing up to them. Don’t back down!

Once you begin defending yourself against bullies, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Realize that when you start standing up for yourself, you will get a ton of resistance at first.

However, you must stay consistent! Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Consistency is key here!

The more they try to take you down, the more you push back until your bullies decide that you’re too much to handle. Then, once they get the message that messing with you comes at too great a cost, they’ll leave you alone and go find another victim.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting so that you’ll know what to expect and continue standing up to bullies until they finally leave you alone for good!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

hypocritical bullies at work

Hypocritical Bullies: Bullying and Hypocrisy Go Hand in Hand

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‘Want to know all about hypocritical bullies, what behaviors to look for and how to spot them? Here’s everything you need to know.

hypocritical bullies

Bullies really are hypocrites. They’re good at accusing you of the very bad deeds they do themselves. It’s funny, when you really think about it.

Therefore, in this post, you’ll learn all about hypocritical bullies and how to spot them so that you can point them out and avoid them to protect yourself from them.

Once you learn all about these red flags, you’ll know them just by watching them.

This post is all about hypocritical bullies so that you can spot them and beware of them.

Hypocritical bullies

Many Bullies Claim to be Christians

But are they really Christians? Are they, in fact, true Christians?

Sadly, many of your classmates or coworkers may have reputations as church-going people. They may go to church every Sunday. In fact, they may go every time the church doors open.

However, they may not act like Christians once they are away from the sanctuary. But, because of their reputations, they will get credibility they haven’t earned.

For example, at school, you may have group a girls who the teachers and principal dub as “the religious girls.” However, they’ll be just as nasty, if not worse, than the secular kids in the class.

This is not to say that all Christians are like this, because no, not all of them are. However, just as with any other religion, party, or group, there will always be wolves in sheep’s clothing among the flock.

Though over half of the people at work or school sit in a church pew on Sunday,  they’ll still bully you and a few others during the week. Moreover, if they aren’t necessarily bullies, they may join in with the bullies and mistreat you.

A few may not actively participate in the bullying but will stand back and watch the bullying. These people may either get entertainment from it, or pretend it isn’t happening. How Christian is that?

Just Because They Claim to be Christians Doesn’t Make it So.

These so-called Christian people may never bully you by cursing you out or beating you up. They’re too smart to make it that obvious.

However, they’ll sat back and snicker as they watch your bullies totally humiliate you. Also they’ll spiritually bully you.

For instance, they’ll tell you that you should, ”turn the other cheek.”  They’ll suggest that you submit to the bad treatment and if you don’t,  you’re going to hell.

Therefore, if this happens to you, ask them this. “What would you do if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you submit to it if it were happening to you?

Remember that the devil never comes in the form of a red man with horns and a pointy tail. He comes as an angel of light!

It’s bad enough when people who aren’t in the church target you for bullying. But when it’s those who claim to be Christians, it can be downright devastating.

Why? Because, just by virtue of being known as Christians, they will likely compel you to believe that you really are an evil person. Moreover, they’ll make you feel terrible about yourself.

Hypocritical bullies:

Judge Only by Actions, Not Affiliations.

If this ever happens to you, see them for who they really were- sanctimonious hypocrites.

Once you see your bullies exactly as they are, no amount of gaslighting will work on you. Any justification or rationalization of what they did will no longer have an effect on you.

Why? Because they’ll stand naked before you. And I thank the Lord for giving me this knowledge because it has given me so much confidence.

And confidence is freedom.

Again, none of us are perfect because we’re all human and humans sin every day. Christians are no exception to this. Moreover, I’ll be the first to admit that there were times and situations when I didn’t act very Christian.

I’m not afraid to own it. However, what I didn’t do was repeatedly use my faith as a weapon against someone who was already being horribly mistreated.

Anytime Christians use their faith to destroy another, they stoop to a special kind of evil and God will judge them the harshest.

I know for a fact that Jesus would have had my back. Also, He would have admonished them. And not only their persecution of a few others, but for their fake Christianity and sanctimony. Because true Christians will never use their faith and Christian platform to bully and destroy another human being.

Giving it a Name.

Therefore, if anyone claiming to be a person of God bullies you, they are not of God. There are names for people who use their faith to destroy your spirit. You can call them sanctimonious. Or you can look at them as hypocrites.

Knowing how to name these people is your power. It makes it so much easier for you to call it out. So, I urge you to see these people for who they are and name them accordingly.

They are not Christians. They’re only sanctimonious hypocrites.

Hypocritical Bullies:

Bullies Who Virtue Signal

Seasoned bullies are masters at virtue-signaling. In other words, they make themselves look like the angels they aren’t. Most bullies are expert virtue signalers.

 For example, I remember sitting in class, pregnant with my first child. I had also gotten married a few weeks before.

One of my bullies, we will call her Amy, told me I was still a sinner because I’d gotten pregnant before I had gotten married. Moreover, she made sure to blurt it out in front of everyone else.

However, what was funny was that she was one of those girls who slept around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Not that I ever judged her for it because what she did on the weekends was nobody’s business but hers.

However, I saw this for what it was. She was projecting. This is what saved my self-esteem.

Amy went on. She also told me that my child was a bastard and would be better off dead than to have me for a mother. The last thing she said was that I should never be allowed to get married nor have kids.

With that said, know this. Any time a bully publicly passes judgement on you, they only do it to feel like they’re better than you.

Moreover, they do it to fool themselves, you, and everyone else. They want everyone to think that they’re above you on the totem pole of morals and decency.

The reason Amy called out my “lack of virtue” was to try and prove to everyone else that she had it. However, although no one said a word, I think they all knew who she really was and what her attack was all about.

Sadly, we see the same from many people today.

Hypocritical Bullies:

If you know who you are, there’s no need to prove anything.

If you know yourself and you know that you aren’t the label of the day, be it a “whore”, a racist, a conspiracy theorist, or a nut job; there’s no need to prove it.

Moreover, you won’t feel you have to attack anyone else, pander, or virtue signal. There’s no need to prove something that’s already there.

When you truly know yourself, you won’t feel you have to prove anything to anyone. Trying to is too much work. It’s a waste of your time and energy. You do not have to show others you have something if it’s something you already have.

If you feel you must bend over backwards to prove something to the rest of the world, it’s a sign of insecurity or guilt.  Therefore, if your conscience is clear, don’t ever feel like you have anything to prove. You don’t.

There will be times when people accuse you of being the bully

Sadly, we now live in a culture of fruit-bats who are so quick to cry “bully” anytime you listen to your intuition.

This will happen especially if you don’t feel comfortable around a particular person. Understand that just because you prefer not to be around someone doesn’t necessarily make you a bully.

You may have legitimate and justifiable reasons for it. Let’s face it, we like who we like and we dislike who we dislike.

For instance, if the person creeps you out, it may be your gut warning you that the person is dangerous. And if you don’t feel safe around someone, it’s best to stay away from them.

Moreover, if the person is toxic and constantly dogs your mood, it’s natural to avoid this person. No sensible and healthy human being would want to be around such a person.

However, be prepared for a few clueless others to throw the label of “bully” in your face.

Know that, anytime you sense that something is “off” about a certain person, you have every right to ensure your own safety. You not only have a right, but an obligation to yourself to steer clear of them.

 You have a right to protect yourself from creeps, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, grifters, and other nefarious people.

Hypocritical Bullies:

Hypocrites send these unspoken messages:

  • “Safety and protection for us but not for you.”
  • “It’s bad when you do it but it’s okay when we do it!”

Therefore, don’t let these types of people confuse you. Realize that you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone! See this for what it is. You’re being held to a double standard.

You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone when you’re  trying to keep yourself safe. And if others unfairly criticize you for being uncomfortable around someone, then you should avoid them too.

Again, not wanting to be around someone isn’t bullying. You are not seeking to hurt them. You just want to keep yourself safe. It’s only bullying when you ignore someone for the sole purpose of harming them.

Parents Who Encourage Their Children to Bully Other People’s Children

Back in 2016, I saw a video, in which a young man was bullied by not only an adolescent girl but also her mother.

In the video, the young man is badly beaten by two, maybe three other boys, who were with the girl and her mother. They spotted the young man in a local park, stopped, and let the assailants out to attack him.

Also, by listening to the audio, I discovered that this mother was actually encouraging the bullies. She was cheering them on as they were viciously attacking him. Later, it was reported that the mother had been arrested.

Sadly, this was not the first video I’d seen of bullying involving a parent. I have watched many videos in the past twenty years…violent videos! Those in which the parent of the attacker actually egged on the altercation!

Hypocritical Bullies:

Adults who Bully Children

I have seen many news reports of parents arrested for attacking children on school buses, in city parks, and schoolyards for a perceived slight against their child.

Also, children and teens are also being cyber-bullied by not only their classroom bullies but the bullies’ parents as well. Just google the Megan Meier case and you will see how this precious child took her own life because she was being harassed online by not only her teenage bullies but by the mother of one of her bullies.

This type of behavior is horrible enough coming from young people but coming from parents, who should know better, it’s downright disgusting!

It amazes me how immature a good portion of today’s parents are. I have personally seen parents act as if they are still in high school. And it’s embarrassing, to say the least.

What embarrasses me the most is that the parents are of my generation!

These parents are no better than the bullies they are raising! They try to be their child’s BFF instead of being their parent. Most don’t teach good morals and values anymore. They don’t mind bullying other people’s children. However, they’re the first to holler when someone even ignores their little darling.

This is mostly the reason bullying is so prevalent today.

Why Some Parents Condone Bullying

Many parents encourage their child to bully other children because they have a deep-seated belief that being a bully is where it’s at. They think bullying is what it takes to move up the social hierarchy and be successful in life.

Also, they believe that keeping others down is key to being on top.

These parents believe that being popular and the toughest kid on the block is what life is all about. Also, I’ve seen parents who wanted to fight the bullied child’s parents because they spoke out.

Worse even, I’ve seen cases where the bully’s parents wanted to physically fight the young victim for daring to stand up to their bully child!

Again, the parents are mostly people in my age group and younger…thirties, forties, and fifties- old enough to have long ago known right from wrong!

Chance are that the parents were just as bad when they were in school. The bullying behaviors just passed from generation to generation.

Is it any wonder that bullying is so widespread?

One thing I cannot fathom is how an adult can insert themselves into kiddie confrontations. They bash the other child by calling them degrading names like they’re still in middle school. How do they resort to saw despicable acts and continue to keep a straight face?

How can people such as these bare to look in the mirror at themselves every day without turning ten shades of red? I just don’t get it. What is wrong with some of the parents of my generation?

Hypocritical Bullies:

Widespread bullying

Parents of this low caliber do not care about any other children than their own. They have no empathy whatsoever. In my opinion, people of this kind shouldn’t have children.

It’s sad that good, wholesome, strong parents are all but non-existent anymore. Those who actually love their child enough to call them out on bad behavior and enforce rules, are a dying breed.

Good parents are replaced by parents who encourage despicable behavior in their children. What will society and the world be like in another twenty years if we do not address this issue?

See these types of parents for who they are. They’re hypocritical bullies who don’t mind tormenting other people’s children. However, they’re the first to cry “bully” when others call their children out for bad behavior.

This post was all about hypocritical bullies, their behaviors, and how to spot them so that you can protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

3. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

5. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

facts about respect for yourself and others

Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

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Do you want to know the facts about respect and the purpose of it? Here are the nine truths of respect that you need to know.

facts about respect

Today, people, especially bullies, seem to think that they’re entitled to respect they never earn. Moreover, victims of bullying have a self-depreciating habit of giving respect to those who don’t return it.

As someone who’s been on both sides of the fence, I’m giving you truths about respect that I had to learn the hard way.

You will learn all the facts about respect and what they mean.

Once you learn all these truths, you will be more selective with who you give respect to and who to withhold it from. Also, you will know more about how to gain respect so that you can live in peace and harmony and get along better with others.

This post gives the facts about respect that every target of bullying must know about.

Facts About Respect

It’s true that we should remain humble. However, sadly, most people these days think that they’re entitled to respect simply because they exist. This especially describes those with even a little bit of power.

However, at the end of the day, no one is any better or more important than the next person. Having a degree of humility is a virtue. Why? Because we all have weaknesses, imperfections, and shortcomings.

Everyone, no matter how great, has limitations and must know what their limitations are.

Therefore, you must respect the people who respect you. On the other hand, you must also respect yourself enough to walk away from those who disrespect you.

You Must Respect yourself also.

Self-respect– it sounds good. It’s so pleasing to the ears.

However, it’s difficult to master and sometimes takes a lifetime to develop, especially if you’ve ever been a target of bullying and abuse.

When people bully, abuse, and gaslight you, it can often compel you to seek approval. Consequently, you might do some pretty drastic things to get that approval.

Sadly, many people never master self-respect because they’re under the presumption that life’s all about having a truckload of friends. Moreover, they may be obsessed with having huge wads of cash or getting all the girls.

Bullies are all about having power. Moreover, they believe that life’s all about being popular, or pretty. They aren’t satisfied unless they can be the king of the mountain, or the baddest mother on the block.

These are the bullies- the people who are constantly trying to prove themselves to others. That’s not self-respect.

Facts about respect and about Self-Respect

When you have self-respect, none of the superficial stuff interests you. Therefore, you don’t feel the need to perform cartwheels and showboat.

You feel good about yourself and there’s no need to prove your worth to the rest of the world. Why? Because you could care less what anyone else thinks.

Self-respect means treating yourself like you want others to treat you. Moreover, how well you treat yourself is determined by how you allow others to behave toward you.

You choose what you will and will not accept. Therefore, it means not settling for anything less than what you know you want and deserve.

Self-respect means taking care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit.

It means knowing who you are, what you want, what heights you’re capable of. Moreover, it means believing in yourself and never doubting what you can achieve.

In other words, it means refusing to allow bullies and abusers to convince you that you should hate yourself. Also, it means refusing the desperation to please, appease, and impress others and knowing that the only Person you should seek approval from is God Himself.

Self-respect means knowing your worth. In other words, you know the value you bring to the lives of others. Moreover, that belief stands regardless of what a few toxic people may think or say.

You continue to stay true to your values, beliefs, and convictions, whether or not they’re popular.

It means accepting and embracing everything that is you. This includes your age, sex, race, nationality, creed, body composition, weight, height, looks, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

Facts About Respect:

What happens when you give respect to those who haven’t earned it from you?

Never respect anyone who doesn’t respect you back. Why? Because when you do, it’s not self-respect. What it is, is self-abuse.

Anytime you give unearned respect, it only reeks of desperation. In other words, when you give respect to people who don’t respect you,  you allow yourself to be a slave, a prisoner, a whipping boy.

To put it bluntly, you make yourself somebody’s bitch. You put your value, and sometimes, your life, in someone else’s hands.

Never take the respect others give you for granted.

Whereas, never take the respect you get from others for granted. Again, respect isn’t something you’re entitled to. It’s not automatic, and to think you’re owed such a commodity without earning it is arrogance. It means you’re a pompous, self-serving turd who’s full of yourself.

Bullies are people who demand respect but have none for anyone else. Therefore, here is what they fail to realize:

People may act like they respect them to their faces. However, once the bullies are away and out of earshot, people will gather and talk mad trash about them behind their backs. T

Others will know the truth. That the bullies are only self-satisfied pieces of crap who think they’re entitled. And people will call them exactly what they are and laugh at them in secret.

Here are the 9 facts about bullying you must know.

1.Respect is earned, not freely given.

Respect is not an entitlement! No! it is something you must give to get. Understand that everyone has a space to fill, even you.

Moreover, it is either mutual or none at all and there’s no in-between. Respect is a two-way street. Always!

2. Like love, respect is something money can’t buy.

It doesn’t matter how much money, power, and prestige you have. If you’re a piece of scum, you’re a piece of scum.

Besides, your money is something you can never take with you when you go. Neither can you take your power nor your prestige.

We all come into this world naked and so shall we leave it.

3. Facts about respect:

You cannot demand it nor get it through bullying and instilling fear in others.

Only gangs and mobsters demand respect- all while giving none in return. These people steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others, then have the chutzpah to demand respect from the very people they harm.

However, as mentioned earlier, people don’t respect them. They only act like they do. And believe me, they will talk smack once the bullies turn their backs.

4. Respect is something you must sometimes stand up and fight for.

There are toxic people everywhere- users, abusers, bullies. In other words, people who think they’re superior and that you’re their personal property.

Those who are evil will try to manipulate you. Moreover, they’ll disrespect you, harass you, and violate your boundaries.

They will especially do this if you’re young and aren’t experienced enough to know how the world operates. Therefore, it’s imperative that you set firm boundaries and walk away from such people.

5. Facts about respect:

Respect isn’t something you should ever have to ask nor (gasp!) beg for.

If you’ve earned it and already give respect, it should come back to you naturally. However, if you must ask or beg for it, you’re with the wrong people.

Therefore, ditch these creeps without looking back. Love yourself enough to walk away and find better quality people to keep company with.

6. Respect is a two-way street.

Like anything else, it’s a give and take. Again, no one is entitled to it, they must earn it. In order to get respect, you must give it, and that includes giving it to yourself too.

7. Facts about respect:

Respect and like are different.

When you like someone, it means you share common ground with them and like having them around. On the other hand, when you respect someone, you have regard for their human rights or you have a certain reverence toward them because of their knowledge, wisdom or position.

You can have respect for someone you may not necessarily like. For example, if you’re a recruit, you may not like your hard-nosed drill sergeant, but you know to respect them. Moreover, your mother may do things that make you not like her at times, but you respect her.

Therefore, this is the difference between like and respect.

8. Respect has a purpose.

Respect is there to ensure that humans can live together in safety, peace, and harmony. It isn’t self-serving. It’s meant for the good of all living creatures.

On the other hand, if there’s no respect, there’s no regard for the safety of others. Therefore, without it, there can only be anarchy and lawlessness.

Why? because people who don’t respect you will violate your boundaries and jeopardize your safety every chance they get.

When people disrespect you, they do it out of self-interest:

1.To feel superior

2. To look cool

3. To look tough

4. To look bigger and better

5. To boast their egos

6. To assuage feelings of insecurity and inferiority

7. To look and feel powerful

8. To feel better about themselves

9. Facts about respect:

Respect is easily lost but harder to gain.

It take a while to earn respect and you must either work or contribute something to get it. Respect can take years to build.

However, it takes a split second to lose it. One wrong statement or one wrong decision can instantly destroy any respect you once had.

Moreover, bullies can unjustly take it from you. They can smear and defame you with lies and ugly rumors. They can destroy your reputation, causing others to lose the respect they once had. Unfortunately, this happens a lot these days.

Therefore, you must do everything you can to protect the respect you get and never take it for granted. Moreover, if bullies steal it from you, you must continue to do and say things which are respectful to others no matter what.

In time, people may see your actions and realize that you’re not so bad. Even better, they may see your bullies for the liars they are and things may turn around for you. This also happens as well.

this post gave you the facts about respect to teach you what it is, how you earn it, and how to keep it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

4. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

bullying and psychological conditioning in schools

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

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‘Want to know all about bullying and psychological conditioning? Also, would you like to know how they relate? Here is everything you need to know about.

bullying and psychological conditioning

Bullying is just another form of abuse. As with any kind of abuse, it has the power to condition if you let it. In other words, bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you’ll recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will not only be able to know the symptoms of the conditioning that comes with bullying, you will be able to more effectively defend against it.

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you can better recognize it and protect yourself against it.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

If you endure bullying long enough, it can slowly reprogram your mind and turn you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. It will blind you to your value as a human being. It will hijack your brain and cause you to see yourself through the lens of your bullies.

Then, you will loath yourself just as your bullies do. This is what you don’t want!

So, how do bullying and psychological conditioning relate and what does it do?

Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullying conditions you gradually and incrementally – bit by tiny bit. In the beginning it’s so subtle that you don’t even know you’re being brainwashed.

Bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of the your self-esteem. Moreover, during the first few weeks or months, they increase the abuse ever so slowly.

Bullies do this step by itsy-bitsy step. Again, this happens so slowly and such tiny increments that you don’t know what’s happening.

Yet, something deep in the pit of your gut tells you that something is off. All you know is that something doesn’t feel too good. However, you can’t quite put your finger on it. It’s that subtle!

This is your gut instinct trying to warn you. Therefore, this is your first clue.

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Your body will Tell You if you pay attention to it.

Here how this happens.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you pick up some really creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. You may look up from whatever you’re doing and see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. You’ll also notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

The Process of Escalation

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing to see how you respond or react to their subtle slights and digs.

If you react the way they predict or you don’t react at all, bullies will see this as a green light.

Next, they’ll begin committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you up for bigger attacks. They make the abuse virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t anymore.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so severe and out of control that the bullies and their minions can no longer help themselves. In fact, they’ve already gotten brazen with their attacks.

In other words, they don’t even try to hide it anymore. Along the way, they’ve stopped putting in the work to hide it.

Why? Because, by now, they’ve gotten away with it for so long that there’s no incentive to stop?

Therefore, by the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying the target. In fact, they’ve gotten comfortable with it.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to bullying and abusing you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone, no matter what you do to defend yourself.

2. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

What happens if you wait to long to stand up to bullies?

When the target finally gets fed up and begins asserting themselves, bullies will only double down on the attacks. They communicate through their actions that they don’t give a damn about your rights as a human being.

 Your pain will mean nothing to them. They’ll only see you as a victim and they’ll damn well make sure you stay a victim.

And why not? For so long, your bullies have gotten a payoff from abusing you. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

Therefore, when you finally begin defending yourself at this stage in the game, here’s what happens. Bullies and everyone else only responds with outrage. The unwritten message is, “How dare you!”

Bullies get super offended when anyone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. So, they’ll do everything they can to break your will and keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

Because, how dare you try to take away their fun? It doesn’t matter if they’ve been getting it at your expense.

Again, bullying and conditioning starts out small and subtle. Therefore, you must learn how to recognize it when it first begins.

Why? Because, the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself against it and put a stop to it.

I can’t stress this enough.

The one thing that will help you recognize it is that your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes they put out. So, pay attention.

3. The Environment That Conditions You Most

What is the environment that conditions and shapes you the most when you’re in school or working? I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the home!

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Our environments determine our mental health.

The environments you spend the most time in has ways of molding and shaping you. This goes  especially during your formative years.

For example, a child who grows up in an abusive environment will likely grow up to be an abusive adult. Moreover, they may grow up to be a weak and powerless victim to human predators.

Remember that a person’s formative years (childhood) is the most impressionable and it determines their future!

Yes. There are exceptions. A few kids do develop a strong sense of self, either through dogged determination or an outside mentor. These are the kids who make it out and create successful lives for themselves.

However, most aren’t that lucky, and it’s sad.

You have three types of environments:

  1. Nourishing Environment (Very Healthy)
  2. Neutral Environment (Somewhat Healthy)
  3. Toxic Environment (Unhealthy)

Understand that the environment you spend most of your day in, will the one that likely conditions you. And if you spend most of your day-to-day life in a bullying environment, your mental health will suffer if you aren’t careful!

For example, a certain school kid lives in a loving and healthy home. However, his classmates at school bully him mercilessly.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

4. Bullied Kids Spend most of their waking hours in school. let’s do the math.

A child or teen who is growing must have around 10 hours of sleep per day. Therefore, subtract 10 hours from 24 hours and you’re left with 14 waking hours.

The average young student then spends about 8 hours per day in school. Subtract 8 hours from 14 waking hours and you have only six waking hours away from school.

Next, we must factor in commuting time on the school bus. For the average schoolkid, this equals 30 minutes to 1 hour, one way.

Therefore, that’s 1-2 hours round trip. Keep in mind that most kids who are bullied at school are also bullied on the school bus.

Subtract that from 6 waking hours and the schoolkid has only 4-5 waking hours in her loving and nourishing environment at home.

24 Hours (One Day)

-10 hours (Sleep)

-8 hours (School)

-1 or 2 hours (School bus)

= only 4 to 5 hours awake at home

Therefore, that bullied child, although living in a loving and nourishing home environment, spends twice as many waking hours in a toxic school environment.

Consequently, the bullying they suffer at school will likely negate the love and acceptance he gets at home. Sadly, bullies may succeed in causing them to have low self-esteem.

Even sadder, the kids who suffer bullying at school and abuse at home will take an even bigger hit to the self-esteem. Why? Because these kids can’t get away from it. They have no reprieve from bullying.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

In Conclusion

How a student is treated at school has a huge impact on their mental health. It doesn’t matter how loving and nurturing their home life is.

Granted, having a positive home life does help. However, the bullying a child suffers at school will likely nullify any love and acceptance they receive at home.

Moreover, adults send most of their waking hours at work. Therefore, workplace bullies can condition them as well.

So, how do we Prevent or Lessen the Conditioning from Bullying?

With children and teens, you simply create opportunities for them to make friends outside of school. This will create more positive social experiences for them.

As a result, you’ll help to create an even balance between the bullying and negativity they suffer and the friendships and positivity they enjoy. Even better, it might even tip the scales, creating more positive interactions than negative!

This will buffer the child’s self-esteem from the bullying they get at school.

You can help them create positive connections by sending them to summer camp. Also, you can do it by enrolling them in a martial arts class.

Attending neighborhood or family outings where other kids are present also helps. Also, attending church and church functions is another great idea.

This also goes for bullied adults as well. Another thing adults can do is take a course or two. This is a wonderful opportunity to establish positive connections.

There are many, many opportunities available! So, go for it! Give yourself or your bullied child these wonderful experiences! You’ll create awesome memories that will last a lifetime!

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning, how to recognize it, and how to mitigate it so that you can save your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

4. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

self-preservation instinct in animals

Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

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‘Want to know all about the self-preservation instinct and why defending yourself against bullying is perfectly okay? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

self-preservation instinct

Everyone has a right to self-preservation.

In this post, you will learn about the self-preservation instinct and why it’s okay to defend yourself against bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about these truths, you will feel better about doing what you must do to protect yourself against bullying and about self-care.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct so that you won’t feel guilty when you must defend yourself against bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct

First, what is this instinct? It’s the natural, innate drive to defend yourself from harm and to ensure your own survival. It’s as old as humanity.

Examples of self-preservation include running from danger, fighting back against an attacker, setting boundaries, self-care, avoiding toxic people, and taking rest breaks.

Therefore, when people bully you, self-preservation is of the utmost importance. Sadly, most targets of bullying have been conditioned not to defend themselves when confronted with threats to their safety.

Therefore, you most retrain yourself to respond accordingly when people even attempt to violate your boundaries and your peace.

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

There is no way to handle a bully “nicely.” Why? Because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage.

Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that you may have done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully.  However, in most cases, the bully just keeps coming back.

That’s when it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle. Therefore, when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person.

Why? Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. In other words, you have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you must get nasty.

There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

It’s easy for bystanders to judge you and give unwanted advice when they’re have no skin in the game and are sitting safely in the cheap seats.

For example, you’re a victim of school bullying and you finally get fed up and begin fighting back against your bullies. You may have classmates tell you, “’Ya know? You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.

” Really? It’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you’re the bad guy for using bad words and defending yourself?

Don’t fall for that crap! Know that you have every right to defend yourself against anyone who violates your boundaries. Remember, your bully came for you first. Therefore, you should tell the self-righteous asshole who feeds you this garbage to go kick rocks!

Self-Preservation instinct:

When you stand up to a bully, there will be bystanders who insert their cheap two cents.

Realize that when you’re forced to get nasty, there will be people who tell you that you should have handled it better. They will accuse you of being just as lowdown as the bully.

Moreover, these will be people who aren’t being bullied. Therefore, they’ll have no dog in the fight.

However, instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with a response. Tell them this:

“Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

You must speak in the only language bullies understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Moreover, they have no concept of decency and respectability. The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

Bullies (and anyone who is even remotely impressed by them) are a dime a dozen. They really are. Therefore, there are times when you must speak in the only language they understand. Then they just might get the message and back the hell off!

If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. It sucks when you must get down and wallow in the bullies’ foulness and filth with them. But for the sake of self-preservation, sometimes you’ve no choice but to lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. You can reserve the nastiness for emergencies, like bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life. It’s something we all encounter. Many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because they’ve had so much of it forced on them by bullies who refuse to leave them alone. Understand that these poor souls haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have.

 Therefore, they don’t yet know their worth and the good they deserve. Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is because of this that they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in. They give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. Moreover, people get tired of hearing self-entitled bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests when they don’t get their way.

So, the unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Therefore, if you fall into this category, I understand why you end up being this way. You get exhausted when you constantly have to battle.

Struggling to take back your autonomy and self-determination wears you out after a while. You get worn down and weary. And all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you have some peace.

And you’ll do anything to have that peace, even if it means surrendering to your bullies’ demands.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Avoiding Conflict Can Have Social Consequences.

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak and walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

There are times when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across. You must do whatever it takes to let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires courage. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry.

Moreover, you must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, one of it feels good.

In short, you must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? because people will bring the conflict to you. Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you.

When people target you for bullying, conflict is unavoidable and certain.

Run from conflict and you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

Therefore, why not face it head on? It’s better to embrace it and stand up to people rather than to keep avoiding it. Then, you can feel better about yourself later knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it. However, you’d face it anyway. Why? Because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Sometimes, Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

Many times throughout your life, you will hear self-righteous people preach against fighting in self-defense. When you defend yourself against physical bullies, those in power and others may tell you, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”

If you’re a female who had to defend herself from a physical attacker, a few others may tell you, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

Well, neither is getting your face beat in by a physical bully.

Trust me. You’d much rather fight back than to just stand there and take an ass-beating. When bullies target you for bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will judge you for it.

Again, they’ll climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong. They’ll make comments to you that “violence doesn’t solve anything.” They may tell you that “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow them to hurt you over and over again?

Moreover, what do you do if you’re a female in a dark parking lot and some creep jumps out and grabs you? You do what you must to protect yourself. And if that means beating the thunder out of someone, then so be it!

Self-Defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a Right!

Targets of bullying get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it through nonviolent means. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the physical attacks. Moreover, they did this until you finally got fed up and beat the living crap out of them.

Now, everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully who attacked you, but at you! But where was their outrage when you were getting pummeled without provocation?

Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when you cried out for help?

These are the exact questions you should ask anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person.

Moreover, realize that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime some creep threatens you with physical harm.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

It’s about taking care of yourself.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer. However sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed. However, I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances.

Why? Because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Tell these nosy bystanders how you feel and what you think of them. Because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you.

Realize that there are times when you have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. Therefore, when some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the you bullies where they are. Respond in kind to bad treatment. And assert your right not to put up with bullying and abuse.

This post was all about the self-preservation instinct to assure you that self-defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a law of nature and it’s your right!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

 2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

Better safe than sorry

Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

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‘Want to know how to stop saying sorry too much so that you can finally overcome bullying and abuse?

saying sorry too much

Is saying sorry too much making you seem like a doormat to the people around you? If so, you’re probably wondering why you do it and how to kick this self-sabotaging habit.

As someone who’s made that mistake and corrected it, I’m giving you the reasons why you do it and tips on how to stop it and re-empower yourself.

Therefore, in this post you will learn all the possible reasons why you’re in the habit of saying sorry too much and how you can drop this bad habit.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will know why you do it by seeing which reason applies to you. Moreover, you’ll be compelled to stop it so that you can reclaim your power.

This post is all about saying sorry too much, why you do it, why it sets you up for bullying, and what you can do to change it.

Saying Sorry Too Much

Saying that you’re sorry can be a good thing when you know for a fact that you’ve wronged someone. Moreover, it shows the person you’ve trespassed against that you regret whatever you’ve done to them.

When expressed genuinely, telling someone you’re sorry can help the other person to heal. Then, you both can begin to rebuild the trust that was lost and move onto a better and more rewarding relationship.

Moreover, this goes whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or familial kinship.

However, victims of bullying over-apologize as a trauma response and survival mechanism to keep from getting hurt. Even worse, they apologize to the wrong people… mainly bullies.

However, if you do this, your bullies will only throw it back at you. Why? Because they know that your apology is a trauma response.

It isn’t heartfelt. You’re only trying to keep them from harming you again. Granted, there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, it’s a typical response when you’re being bullied and only trying to survive day to day.

However, this does one of either two things. It gives the bullies a rush of power or makes them angrier and more determined to hurt you.

So, why do you apologize so much?

1. For Survival and self-preservation.

Many targets and victims of bullying over apologize for self-preservation and as a way to survive. Bullying can cause trauma. Therefore, the knee-jerk response of most victims is to over apologize.

If you fall into this category, know that the reason you do this is to avoid further bullying and abuse. The fear is such that you apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Moreover, you may do it for things that are beyond your control.

2. Saying Sorry Too Much:

You Have Low Self-Esteem.

Low self-esteem can also prompt you to over-apologize. Why? Because others, particularly bullies and abusers have brainwashed you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault.

Also, you may think you must over-apologize to make people like you.

Moreover, you may feel you must apologize for things that do not warrant an apology. Your prevailing thought is, “tell them I’m sorry. Tell them anything they want to hear, and they’ll like me.

However, this usually only gets you the opposite results. Bullies see weakness in any apology but especially in over apologizing. Therefore, they will exploit it and bully you worse with it.

But even if it does save you from being brutalized, it will eat away at your self-esteem.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to understand that not everything that happens is your burden to carry.

You may even over-apologize during conversations. Why? Because, subconsciously, you believe your thoughts and questions aren’t worthy of consideration.

However, you must realize that questions and thoughts are understandable. Why? Because they are things that you learn and grow from.

Therefore, your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s. You must realize that you are just as important as the next person.

3. You fear judgment and rejection.

In other words, you apologize for approval and acceptance. However, you must realize that some people will never accept you no matter what you do. More importantly, you must be okay with it.

Begin putting yourself first and apologizing only when it’s absolutely necessary. Only then will your bullies and fake friends slowly begin to disappear.

Moreover, you will attract the right people into your life and make true friends.

4. Saying Sorry Too Much:

You do it out of fear of abandonment.

You might do it out of fear of abandonment when you since distance between yourself and someone you love. People who have been hurt by past lovers have a tendency to overdo it on the I’m-sorries.

Why? Because they have internalized that hurt.

You’ll say “I’m such a jerk, I’m sorry.” Or, you might say, “I’m didn’t mean to say that thing that made you angry. What I said didn’t come out right.”

You’ll say anything just to keep the person from cutting friendship ties, or breaking off the relationship.

Just to keep someone who isn’t worthy of you in your life!

However, this won’t work for long. It may for the time being. You may, in fact, lessen the danger of the person leaving… but only for now.

You may get rid of any immediate threats of abandonment. The person may hang around a little longer. But they’ll only do it out of pity!

Yuck! Do you really want someone to stick around because they feel sorry for you? Ewww!

Stop with the appeasement!

Therefore, you must stop compromising yourself. Stop degrading and humiliating yourself and start respecting yourself.

Because if you have to suppress yourself just to keep someone around, then that person doesn’t deserve you.  If you have to appease someone and consistently apologize for being who you are, then they aren’t worth a nano-second of your time.

Stop apologizing just to appease people. Because, believe me, they see right through that and they will either take advantage of it or lose respect for you.

You must recognize these knee-jerk apologies as an automatic trauma-response. In other words, your CNS registers a potential fight, conflict, or distance as the threat of danger.

Moreover,  your bullied mind pulls the proverbial alarm and you respond out of trauma in order to mitigate the perceived danger.

What happens when you have the habit of saying sorry too much

1. You Accept blame for things that you can’t control.

I understand that over-apologizing is something you learned to survive bullying and abuse. However, you only blame yourself for things you aren’t guilty of.

Moreover, you accept blame you do not deserve. You blame yourself for things that go wrong, even if it’s something you cannot control.

In other words, you give yourself a hard time and take responsibility for everything that goes wrong, even if it’s beyond their control.

2. You Set Yourself up to be a scapegoat.

Put another way, you set up the dynamic in your friendships and relationships where there is a power imbalance. Bullies, abusers, and other unsavory types of people can take advantage of your consistent blaming yourself and weaponize it against you.

Often, this is how bullying and abuse tends to repeat itself over and over as you get older. There are a lot of evil and lowdown people out there. Therefore, they’ll notice that you’re always apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.

As a result, they will use it to take advantage of you. This is why you continue to get bullied and abused by new bullies and abusers.

Human predators are like man-eating sharks. They see the blood in the water. In other words, predators will go after the animal in the herd who is wounded. Bullies are the same way.

This is why you should stop for a moment and do an assessment. Ask yourself, “Have I really done something wrong?”

3. Saying Sorry Too Much:

You give others the impression that you’re Trouble.

In other words, you only make others around you believe that you really are in the wrong when, in fact, the bullies are the guilty ones. Therefore, you only make it so much easier for your bullies to shirk responsibility for their evil deeds.

It gives the bullies the impression that they have power and control over you and that you will always surrender to them.

4. People lose respect for you.

Even worse, people lose respect for you because you display a lack of confidence. This gives bullies the okay to continue bullying you.

Moreover, you unknowingly decrease your value and look pathetic. You send the unspoken message that you’d rather be agreeable than honest.

5. You cheapen the value of your apologies.

Whenever a situation arises that warrants a sincere apology, others will only take your apology with a grain of salt.

Saying Sorry Too Much:

In Conclusion:

Instead, reserve your apologies only for when a situation warrants one.

When you refuse to apologize where an apology isn’t needed, it’s a sign of greater self-esteem and increased feelings of power. It also shows that you have more dignity and integrity.

It pays to know when you should and shouldn’t apologize.

And for Pete’s sake! Never apologize for feeling hurt or angry at someone else’s abuse! Never! Moreover, don’t apologize for setting boundaries. You have every right to do so.

In these situations, you have a right to feel the way you do! Let no one tell you how you should feel when you’re being treated unfairly!

In other words, apologize only when you should. Not when others think you should.

Never Apologize to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

You should never apologize to a bully or an abuser. They aren’t worthy of your remorse or your apology. There’s nothing wrong with defending yourself when you need to.

Also, know that it’s perfectly okay to express your wants and needs. Remember that you are just as good as the next person. Understand that you aren’t obligated to apologize for being who you are.

Moreover, there’s nothing you need to be sorry for. Understand that each person is different and we all have our own thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and convictions. It’s a part of life.

Understand this. When people are bullying and abusing you, you have every right to be angry. You have every right to cry, to scream, to yell, and to tell them all to go pound sand.

Never be sorry for your emotions nor your responses to abuse.

This post was all about Why you get stuck saying sorry too much, the results, and Why you should only reserve an apology for a situation that warrants one.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Over Apologizing Trauma Response: 9 Easy Ways to Overcome It

2. No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For

3. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

4. What to Say Instead of Sorry: 5 Powerful Responses

5. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

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‘Want to know about all the ways bullies respond when you begin speaking out about bullying? Here are all the truths you need to know about.

speaking up about bullying

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

However, you can’t bite your tongue forever. Therefore, in this post you will learn what to expect once you begin speaking up about bullying.

Once you learn all these possible responses your bullies will make, you will be better prepared to confidently address it.

This post is all about speaking up about bullying so that you’ll be prepared for your bullies’ reactions and to deal with it bravely and confidently.

Speaking up about bullying

Make your voice heard when the bullying first begins.

Why? Because it will eventually come spewing out. After a while, you will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano.

For instance, you’re calm, and people see your calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back you are. Therefore, they presume that if they keep violating your boundaries, there will be no consequences.

The bullying always starts subtly at first- so subtly that you don’t even notice you’re being abused.

Over several months, the bullying slowly escalates until you finally snap and show your ugly side. However, when you respond to the bullies and their audience in kind, people only use your perfectly justified human reaction to demonize you. Therefore, they make it look as if you’re mentally unstable.

But, why do they do this?

It’s because you didn’t address the bullying when it first began. In other words, you didn’t stand up for yourself in the early stages.

As a result, your bullies and everyone else have grown comfortable with abusing you. Moreover, once people become comfortable with any routine, it’s almost impossible to stop them no matter how you defend yourself.

By then, the bullying has become iron clad and taken a life of it’s own. Therefore, it’s too late to do anything.

Again, this is why you must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and deems you the bad guy!

Therefore, I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

Speaking up about bullying:

Why victims stay silent

It’s because they can’t name what’s happening to them. Sure, they can feel it and see it. However, they can’t put an actual name on it because they don’t know the names of the tactics and how to describe what’s happening.

Being able to put a name on the abusive tactics takes a lot of research and study on abuse. Why? Because bullying is abuse and abuse is bullying.

Both bullying and abuse involve a power imbalance and repeated behavior. Therefore, they’re one and the same.

Why you Should learn to name each bullying tactic

The reason why we should know the names of the tactics is this. When there’s no label to put on it, it’s much harder to explain to others. Moreover, when you can’t name something, you tend to ramble.

And because you ramble about it, people are less likely to believe you when you speak out.

There’s nothing more frustrating than to know something is happening and not know how to name it. It’s as if you have an invisible gag over your mouth. Moreover, it feels like some higher force is trying to silence you and protect your bullies and abusers.

It’s the most frustrating and downright infuriating thing in the world!

Speaking up about bullying:

The Term, “Gaslighting.”

For example, let’s use the term “gaslighting.”

Even today, many people have never heard of gaslighting. Therefore, they don’t know the proper name of the emotional manipulations they may be facing.

In other words, they don’t know that it’s called, gaslighting. All they know is that what others are doing to them feels horrible. Moreover, it leaves them feeling that, somehow, they’re always in the wrong.

Therefore, they don’t know how to fix it because they don’t know what’s broken.

Yet, in the innermost parts of their soul, they know differently. Inside, they know they’re not always wrong. However, because they can’t put a name to it, these people can’t describe what was happening to them.

Therefore, it’s much harder for them to speak out without rambling and looking like they have a mental disorder.

Learning all you can about bullying is crucial.

With that said, it’s important that you read, study, and research everything you can about bullying. Moreover, find out and study the key terms for each bullying tactic.

In fact, learn all you can the names as well as the descriptions of each tactic. Why? Because, once you do, you will be able to effectively speak out about the bullying and abuse you suffer. Also, you will be able to more effectively counter the abuse.

 Realize that if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will expect you not to open your mouth about the abuse. Moreover, even bystanders and authority will want you to stay silent. Why? Because, in most cases, they will automatically side with the bullies.

However, it still doesn’t mean you must be quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives on silence and standing up for yourself is paramount.

Understand that speaking up shows strength and bravery. And know that you’re well within your rights to do so.

However, when you break your silence, you must be prepared for the following responses bullies and others will give.

Speaking Up about Bullying:

8 Responses to Expect from Your Bullies and Possibly, Everyone Else.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

See this response for what it is – a classic gaslighting statement.

Understand that when people respond this way, they’re only shifting the blame to you. Moreover, they’re trying to shame you into keeping quiet about it.

Those who respond this way may be friends or followers of the bullies. Or, maybe they have a personal interest in keeping you quiet, such as the reputation of the school or company.

It could be that these people see your bullies as “good for the school’s or company’s reputation.” Also, the bullies may be family members or close friends of these gaslighters.

However, don’t be ashamed to speak out. You must keep the pressure on even if the bullying gets worse. This is how you set boundaries.

Understand that things usually get worse before they get better but they will get better.

2. “Just Ignore Them.”

This is another classic but worn out response. However, ignoring them never works.

Realize that bullies will only become angry at being ignored and escalate the bullying. Also, they may mistake your ignoring them for fear.

And if a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible. You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully.

 This isn’t necessarily a bad response. However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind once you’ve walked past them?

When people tell you to ignore the bully, you must understand what they’re really trying to say. And what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They either don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep speaking out. It’s how you set boundaries and setting boundaries is crucial in bullying situations.

3. Speaking Up about Bullying:

“Toughen up.”

Again. The people who could help you don’t want to get involved. So they put it all on you. And really, they’re not wrong. Protecting yourself against bullying IS your responsibility because chances are, no one will help you.

However, by telling you to toughen up, they’re shifting the blame onto you. Also, they don’t stop to think that, when they tell anyone to toughen up, they’d better be prepared to break up a fight.

Why? Because that’s your green light to tell the bully to shove it up his you-know-where or haul off and knock the idiot’s block off.

Then when they try to reprimand you for defending yourself, you can then use it as leverage. You can say, “Well? You told me to toughen up, so I did!

Therefore, you should do that!

Or, you can respond by saying, “No. It’s not about toughing up. It’s about asserting my right to be treated with decency and I don’t have to take that mess.” And when you say it, say it with conviction.

4. “Get over it.”

People do this to invalidate your experiences with bullying and your thoughts and feelings about it. Therefore, you should respond by saying, “No. You need to get over your denial that bullying happens here.”

Or, if it’s one of your bullies who tells you this, you can respond by saying something to the tune of, “No, you need to get over your assholery and your need for control! I’m not taking this crap anymore!”

5. Speaking Up About Bullying:

“Don’t be a crybaby.”

Bullies and their flying monkeys give this response to shame you into silence. Don’t let them do that. Tell the bully that they’re the crybaby because they’re afraid of being exposed.

Or, you can tell them that if they keep it up, you’re likely to make a crybaby out of them.

Whatever you do, don’t let it slide. Don’t react, but do respond.

6. “Stop whining.”

Again, this is another attempt to shame you into shutting your mouth. Therefore, come up with a response to counter this.

7. “Don’t be a tattletale.”

This is, yet, another attempt to shame you. Therefore, respond accordingly.

8. “Maybe you should just stay out of their way.”

Understand this. You don’t have to tip-toe around anyone. Neither must you bite your tongue to appease bullies.  And …you shouldn’t! Therefore, again, respond accordingly. Never take the blame for someone else’s bad behavior! Ever!

Speaking Up About Bullying:

In conclusion:

All of the above, so-called nuggets of advice are only meant to shame and silence you. Bullying is no different from any other form of abuse. It thrives on secrecy.

Therefore, if you don’t speak out about it, the bullying and abuse will only continue and escalate.

I realize that getting these kinds of responses makes you feel even worse. Moreover, there’s a temptation to clam up and burrow back into your hole. But don’t!

You must refuse to keep quiet about it!

So, keep speaking out about it. When people give you any of the above responses, that’s when you should only double down. Therefore, dig your heels in and speak louder! Why? Because only when a problem is addressed does it have the potential to be solved.

Keep speaking about it and setting boundaries!

It may get worse before it gets better. However, things will improve in the long run, it you continue to speak against the bullying.

And no matter the outcome, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing you took a stand.

This post was all about speaking up about bullying, the gaslighting you should expect, and how to stand up to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

why bullying goes unpunished at work

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

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‘Want to know why bullying goes unpunished? Also, do you want to know why you should stand up for yourself? Here’s everything on this subject you need to know about.

why bullying goes unpunished

It’s not only about punishing bullies. It’s more about teaching victims to stand up for themselves. Granted, yes, we must expose bullies and make them take responsibility. That, we can all agree on.

Bullies may be punished and severely so. However, there’s no guarantee they’ll will learn from it and leave you alone. In fact, it almost never works. Why? Because in most situations, when a bully is caught and held responsible, it only further angers the bully.

Moreover, it makes them that much more vindictive and determined to retaliate against you later.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullying goes unpunished. Also, you will learn why it’s up to you to stand up to them and take back your power.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prompted to begin defending yourself and take your life back.

This post is about why bullying goes unpunished and why you should stand up to them and take care of yourself.

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished

All too often, schools and workplaces ignore reports of bullying and won’t protect you. This happens more than we know.

In other words, people in power ignore you when you report that you’re being bullied. Moreover, they may re-victimize you be trivializing your experiences or worse, blame you for the bullying.

They may ask you what you did to make the bullies act out. This is the worst thing authority members do.

Therefore, you must realize that most workplaces and schools only sweep bullying under the rug. It happens all the time. Therefore, if people bully you, chances are slim to none that others will help you.

Here’s the sad truth about people, in general. If it isn’t happening to them or someone they care about, in most cases, they don’t care. It’s just the cold, hard truth we need to accept.

Here’s why most managers and school officials won’t punish bullying. And why it’s up to you to defend yourself.

1. The Bullies are in positions of power.

In other words, the bully could be a teacher, principal, supervisor, manager, or even law enforcement. If the bully is a kid in school, they may have a parent or family member in a position of power.

Anytime the bully is in a powerful place, it often takes an act of congress to hold them responsible for any damages.

Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to them. And how you stand up to bullies in power is to set boundaries. Also, document every bullying incidence in detail.

Therefore, you must defend yourself even against bullies who are in power. It’s easier said than done, yes. However, it’s about self-preservation and you have a right to defend yourself when someone crosses your boundaries.

2. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

Staff is lazy.

Investigations take work. Therefore, most school officials or HR employees don’t want to take the extra effort.

They may take the easy way out by denying that bullying happens in their school or company. Moreover, they may accuse you of perpetuating the bullying.

If it’s a case of school bullying and your parents get involved, the school may label your parent as “that parent.” However, you must understand that this is a cop-out.

Again,  defend yourself. Continue to set boundaries. And always document every incidence of bullying.

3. School Staff may be afraid the bullies’ parents will retaliate.

Most bullies learn bullying behavior at home. Many bullies learn by watching their parents bully other adults. Understand that many of these parents are self-entitled. Many hold high positions and think this gives them carte blanche to bully other people.

And they will bully teachers and school staff if they have the audacity to hold their little darlings accountable for bad behavior.

Moreover, bullies may also know powerful political connections in town. They may also be a member of the school board. Therefore,  they have made the school staff fully aware that disciplining “the wrong kids” could get them booted out of their jobs and entire careers.

Again, self-preservation. Write everything down! Document! And if your bullies get physical, put up your dukes and defend yourself!

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

People are afraid for the company’s or school’s reputation.

Schools are notorious for trying to hide cases of bullying. Why? Because they prioritize their reputation over the well being of the children and teens.

Companies are the same way. They usually ignore you, while keeping the bully informed that you’ve ratted on them. Therefore, again, if you report that people are bullying you, don’t expect them to help you.

Most institutions know good and well when someone is bullied. However, they may consider them a threat. In worse cases, they may ostracize or try to silence the person.

Moreover, those who are bullied have less power then others. So, it’s much easier for them to ignore the bullying and pretend that there isn’t a problem.

This is why it’s so important to document and do your own investigation. Never expect anyone else to do the investigation for you.

5. They either don’t like you or they hate you.

Sadly, many people have negative attitudes about the bullied and abused. Although these are people who are in positions to help you, they don’t. Instead, they allow their personal feelings override their humanity.

Moreover, bullies are notorious for spreading many lies and ugly rumors about you. Bullying and  defamation go hand in hand. And once they destroy your reputation, your chances of getting help drop significantly.

Why? Because those in power hear the lies and rumors as well. Therefore, they aren’t beyond making judgements based on what they’ve heard. Also, they may be afraid that helping you would cause them to lose their high positions.

Additionally, those in power, may even join in on the bullying. You may be one of the most goodhearted people around. But in most cases of bullying, the rumors and lies  supersede the truth about you.

Therefore, in the minds of everyone around you, you’re “trouble.”

Understand that lies and rumors are powerful. They’re so powerful that they keep you locked in a prison of scrutiny and suspicion.

Moreover, bullying makes you a nervous wreck. Therefore, you cannot be your true, awesome self due to the stress bullying causes.

I can’t stress this enough. Defend yourself. Do your own investigation. Document everything so that you’ll have a record of patterns of bullying.

6. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

they didn’t like the way you responded or reacted to the bullying you suffered.

In other words,  because of chronic bullying, you may have reacted out of self-defense and exhaustion. You were so tired because bullies harassed you for so long that you really couldn’t help but to react.

Your bullies may have slyly used your reaction as proof that you have a mental imbalance. Therefore, other may think the worst of you.

Moreover, they may also think that because everyone else hates you, there must be some reason that justifies it. They may say, “Well, if you aren’t provoking it somehow, then why do so many people hate you?

Therefore, they believe you must somehow deserve what is happening to you.

Consequently, when someone in power does not like you, they may either refuse to help you. In worst cases, they may secretly take pleasure in seeing you suffer.

Therefore, realize that those in authority are just as capable as the bullies of hating and hurting those they deem undesirable. In fact, because of the powerful positions they hold, they’re more capable of it.

Again, document everything! Keep a personal record of everything that happens just in case you have a tribunal or take it to court.

7. The bullies are High Performers.

They may be athletes, cheerleaders and high academic achievers. Moreover, they may be candidates for college and schools strive to crank out college-bound students.

Understand that these kids make the school look good. Star athletes on sports teams win games and help the school team reach the playoffs. This only further bolsters the school’s image. The same thing goes for cheerleaders.

They enter regional and state cheer competitions and if they win, the schools’ reputation goes up. Therefore, the cheerleaders appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district.

It’s the same with companies. If workplace bullies excel in job-performance, they make the company lots of money. Therefore, it will be difficult to report them and convince the higher-ups to hold them accountable.

If anything, they’ll only blame you and label you the troublemaker. Why? Because, in reporting their best students or employees, you’re putting the entire school or company at risk of losing out.

This is how they’ll look at it. Therefore, document!

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

What you can do if you’re the victim of bullying

When authority does nothing about bullying, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Therefore, document each incidence of bullying when you get home. Moreover, do it while the incidents are still fresh in your mind.

I can’t stress this enough. Keep your documents at home. Never take them to work or school. Bullies are nosy and they will rummage through your stuff when your back is turned. The last thing you want is for them to find your documentation.

Also, you can wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on you. However, be sure you know what the laws in your state allow before you do this.

If you live in a one-party consent state, cameras and recording devices are legal and you can use them. On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you must have the permission of the people you record before you can use them.

And you know that bullies will never allow you to record them. This goes without saying. Moreover, if you do record them and the laws in your area don’t allow it, your bullies will pounce on the opportunity to sue you.

Therefore, it’s best that you only document the bullying. However, there’s another way you can gather proof. And that is to screenshot and save any incendiary messages and comments your bullies may leave on your social media pages.

Moreover, save any bullying emails, and test messages.

The more proof of bullying you collect, the stronger case you’ll have if you must take it to the school board, company tribunal, or to court.

In Conclusion:

Too many people have been conditioned to believe that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t. It’s essential for self-preservation and everyone has a right to it.

Therefore, we must stop depending on school staff, company managers and politicians to come rescue us when bullies run amuck. You must realize that people in power won’t help you. Why? Because, unfortunately, bullies run much of the world.

So, again, you must stop depending on a rescuer because no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself. You must learn to protect yourself against bullies. At the end of the day, your safety and your dignity are your responsibility, no one else’s.

You have a right to defend yourself. You have a right to take care of yourself. So, begin doing it today!

This post was all about why bullying goes unpunished so that you can start protecting yourself against bullying and take responsibility for your own safety and well-being! You can do it! I believe in you!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

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‘Want to know the signs of a smear campaign? Here are the signs of relational bullying that you need to know about.

signs of a smear campaign

Smear campaigns have ruined the lives of many innocent people, especially targets of bullying.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the signs of a smear campaign so that you’ll be able to recognize one and call it out.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prepared and better able to protect yourself against anyone who tries to smear your good name.

This post is all about the signs of a smear campaign to train you to recognize it and overcome any attempts to ruin your reputation.

Signs of a Smear Campaign

It always starts subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.

If enough people do, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. Consequently, there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

If you’re a target of bullies, expect them to try to ruin you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that with everything they carefully put together, the lie they spread will stick.

They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy!

The bullies start by suggesting that you would be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good.

Additionally, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there.

1. Gossip

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. Moreover, it has nothing to do with the school, community, or workplace.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Gossip has 6 purposes.

  • To control your social status by demoting you on the social hierarchy.
  • To justify any punishment others may give you.
  • Tightening  group connections.
  • To give higher social status to those who are privy to the negative information.
  • To set expectations and norms in the group on how they should treat you.
  • Establish, maintain, or change the social infrastructure.

Gossip justifies bullying and abuse by promoting a collective view that you don’t deserve any humanity. Therefore, instead of giving you respect or dignity, others only inflict abuse and hostility.

And once people think you deserve abuse, others will always escalate it!

Through gossip, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social hierarchies. Moreover, gossip promotes unity and shared negative perceptions of you.

Therefore, with the use of it, the group will foster justification for hostility. No one in the group considers their actions as bullying. They will only say that you “deserve it” and that they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

Therefore, realize that all the gossip serves to provide bullies reaffirmations. And those reaffirmations are that their perceptions of you are correct, that you deserve abuse.

People may tell others to keep it secret. However, they also ask them to inform the group of any new information and updates about you.

Signs of a smear campaign:

How Gossips Cover Their Behavior

Gossips will often cover their bad behavior with a slight confession of guilt by beginning their sentences with things like,

  • “I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
  • “Poor thing…”
  • “Bless her heart…”

They will acknowledge that the target is a human being. However, they’ll only do it because this gives them the green light to go on talking. Moreover, it helps them to feel less like the creeps they are.

It’s true that reputation doesn’t equal character. However, it can effect your life.

Therefore, understand that the rumors may, in fact, be false. Also, there may be zero credible evidence to back them up. But if pure speculation best fits the bullies’ goals, that’s what they will go along with.

What happens in the late stages of gossip?

In the late stages of gossip, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators. Gossip brings scandal. In other words, it assassinates your character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a human being.

Anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated. Therefore, this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if you attempt to defend yourself or speak out against the abuse, everyone else will use it against you.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for you to ensure safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment. Therefore, you must go to a new place where you can start anew and reinvent yourself.

Signs of a smear campaign:

The character, Chris Chambers in the movie, “Stand by Me.”

‘Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me?” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Do you remember the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy? He was telling him about how he got his bad name and wishing he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal. However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, stuff like this happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Rumors

As rumors and lies circulate, details are included and added to the stories. Moreover, these details have ways of being inserted into people’s memories.

For example, there have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun when, in fact, there was no gun. Understand that in these cases, people don’t lie on purpose.

They really and truly believe they saw a gun in the criminal’s hand or his pocket. In fact, they actually “remember” seeing it.

Moreover, the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much their brains filled in the blanks with the details based on what they heard.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

False Memories

Bullies ask questions such as,

  • “Did you see her do this?”
  • “Did you hear him say that?”

Realize that, when they ask these questions, they only suggest that she did do this, or he did say that. It’s the Power of Suggestion at work.

Therefore, it’s so easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. Also, the memory will adjust itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations. People see what they expect to see.

Too often, people’s memories depend on social expectations- what they expect the target to do and not what he is actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistakable and can be falsified. Sure. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to realize that this does happen and that you must make preparations accordingly to protect yourself better.

3. People may suddenly begin avoiding you or bullying you.

In the beginning, you may have friends and be very well-liked. Moreover, these friends may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what they told you.” Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy- even things that never happened.

Also, as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be any more wrong!

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Even your friends may turn their backs on you.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you may also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

Moreover, they’ll say that you put on a front. They’ll tell others that you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

People will make your past accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. On the other hand, they will maximize your mistakes and failures. They’ll even add on many more mistakes you didn’t make.

In short, they’ll begin rewriting your history.

Even if others see with their own eyes evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they won’t believe it. They’ll only react by claiming that you’re only a smooth-talker who’s darn good at using fake charm to manipulate others.

After your friends turn against you, they’ll deny they ever liked you to begin with.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? Your former friends will claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear that they were only kind to you because they were afraid of you.

They can tell others they felt sorry for you, or that you smooth-talked and conned them.

Also, your former friends will tell others, “who you really are.” Also, they’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

If they ever agreed with you about your bullies, they only did so because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. In other words, your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they’ll claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once they’ve made up their minds, there’s no changing them.

In cases like these, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment altogether. Moreover, it’s best that you never look back. You don’t want to ever have anything to do with any of these people again.

Therefore, you owe it to yourself to kick them all to the curb.

This post was all about signs of a smear campaign so that you can recognize it and be better prepared.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

2. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

3. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

4. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

practicing self-care when people bully you at work

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

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‘Want to know how to go about practicing self-care when people bully you? Here are awesome ways to give yourself compassion when you’re being bullied.

practicing self-care when people bully you

If you don’t start looking out for number one, you’ll only continue coming in last! I cannot stress this enough. It’s not selfish to make yourself second to only God. Especially around bullies and people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent raising children, or you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural that you would put your family ahead of yourself- that’s a given. We all have an obligation to our families.

It’s also a given (or should be) that you always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself. Again, that’s completely understandable, and more than that, it’s expected.

But when you’re in a toxic environment, around people who want to use and take you for granted, understand that you are top priority and to hell with them if they don’t like it.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the 10 ways in practicing self-care when people bully you.

Once you learn all these important tips, you’ll have the tools to show yourself compassion and feel better about yourself.

This post is all about practicing self-care when people bully you so that you can begin putting yourself first and begin to take back your peace.

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Understand that when you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, the only person you have is you! Therefore, be good to yourself. How do you do this?

  1. Set firm boundaries

Setting boundaries means saying no. And when you say it, say it early-on and often! Moreover, it means confidently calling out any disrespect. Then, walking away from the disrespectful drama starter without looking back. And this goes even if it’s someone you love and care about.

You have to look out for number one, because, if you don’t, no one else will. In fact, they just might use you as a rug.

So, protect your peace no matter what.

2. Keep in your mind that self-care isn’t selfish.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s crucial!

Many people may have conditioned you to think that putting yourself first is selfish. Those people may have called you self-centered for it. Maybe you were raised being told that self-centeredness is a huge turnoff to others. In many cases, that’s true.

Bullies and abusers also tell you this.  However, they only say these things to shame you into staying around and silently taking their abuse. Therefore, you must pay attention to context and know when people are gaslighting you with this statement.

There’s a difference in practicing self-care and being self-centered.

  • Self-centeredness comes with self-entitlement. It involves stepping on the rights of other people and not caring how they feel. It is the root of bullying and abuse.
  • Self-care, on the other hand, means taking care of yourself without walking on others’ rights. In other words, it means that you know you’re no better than anyone else, but just as good as the next person.  It means you know your rights and you’re not afraid to stand up for those rights.

You practice self-care because you hold yourself in high regard.  Moreover, you treat yourself like the family member or friend that you dearly love.

It’s funny how quick bullies are to call you self-centered when you stand up to their abuse. Therefore, see it as a part of the bully’s playbook.

Therefore, if you have bullies and abusers who abuse you, always know that if they accuse you of anything- anything at all, you can bet that they are doing it themselves.

So, continue to look out for number one, even if you must find a way to do it on the sly. Don’t you think you’re worth it?

3. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Self-Care May Mean Making Heartbreaking Decisions

Once you choose not to be a target anymore, you may have to make very tough decisions. You will more than likely have to weed certain people out of your life for good.

Moreover, some of those people may even be people you love very much.

You can still love them, ‘nothing wrong with it. However, as much as you may love them, they are not always healthy for you to be around.

It’s a decision many have to make with toxic family members. And it’s very excruciating for them. Why? Because, when someone has to stop talking to a family member, they miss them very much.

In fact, they mourn the person deeply. Even after all the cutting remarks, that family member may have made or the abuse they inflict, the victim still mourns them. It’s akin to having a death in the family.

There’s no pain like mourning someone who’s still alive.

However, you still must cut the person off if they continue to disrupt your peace. It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal and rebuild your life.

If you’re going through something similar, don’t lose heart. Your relationship with your estranged loved one is still repairable. Some stories do have happy endings.

There’s always a chance you’ll be closer than ever later on! Sometimes, it takes a separation to bring people closer. Although painful when it happens, walking away may actually be a great thing and produce awesome results later on.

Anytime you walk away, your value and the other person’s value often go up. Therefore, in time, you both learn to respect one another. Then you love each other even more than you did before.

4. Do the Things You Enjoy most.

The idea is to create positive experiences for yourself that will balance out the bad stuff. Doing your favorite hobbies is a great way to do that.

5. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You:

Work toward your goals.

If you focus on your goals, you won’t have time to focus on your bullies. Besides, they don’t deserve even to be an afterthought. So, work on your goals and where you want to go.

Moreover, make life all about those things. Keep doing your thing!

6. Treat yourself.

In other words, treat yourself to a good, long soak in the bathtub, or to a makeover. Go to a spa and get a good muscle massage and pampering session.

Focus on your well-being and the more likely you are to heal from bullying.

7. take a trip.

Sometimes, it’s just good to steal away to a beach house on a secluded beach with your family or friends. Also, you can visit an out of state relative.

Whatever you decide, getting out of town helps to bring you out of stagnation and revive you. It also gives you a sense of adventure, and that always lifts the mood. So, pack your things and go!

8. Indulge in your hobbies.

Hobbies not only make you feel accomplished, but they take your mind off your bullies and the bullying you suffered in the past. Therefore, find something you enjoy doing the most and concentrate on it.

Being creative is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Moreover, it helps to remind you that you are good at something and that you have value. Which, you do!

9. Practicing self-care when People Bully You:

kick toxic people out of your life.

In other words, go no contact with anyone who uses or abuses you even a little. Why? Because the little abuses can add up to a huge punch to your self-esteem. Instead, begin keeping company with those who love you and who uplift you.

Spending time with the people who love you the most can be a buffer to your self-esteem. Why? Because it has a way of making up for all the hurt bullies cause you.

It gives you an equal or more amount of positivity in your life. Therefore, hang with those who make you feel best about yourself. Share happy times with them, laugh with them, because laughter truly is the best medicine!

10. work out and eat healthy.

Eating a good diet has ways of making you feel well. This alone can work wonders for your self-esteem. Instead of eating junk that make you feel sluggish, eat proteins and green veggies to energize you.

Also, it pays to exercise every day.

Exercise not only makes you healthier and promotes weight loss and better muscle tone, but it can also be one heck of a stress buster. Whether you like High-Intensity Training with weights or a brisk walk through the park, it increases endorphins and other feel-good chemicals to help you feel better.

Focusing on your physical health is another way to take care of yourself when people bully you.

This post is all about practicing self-Care when people bully you so that you can better protect your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

inside the mind of a bully at work

Inside the Mind of a Bully

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‘Want to take a peek inside the mind of a bully? Here’s exactly how they think when it comes to their targets and victims and how you can use it to protect yourself from them.

inside the mind of a bully

If you’re a target of a bully or a group of bullies, you must understand that they perceive you as their enemy. Moreover, this goes even if you haven’t done nothing to them. Because, chances are, you haven’t. In fact, you may pose no threat to them whatsoever.

However, the point is that, in their minds, you are a hated enemy and they refuse to see you as anything but.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what goes on inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it to defend yourself from them.

Once you learn all about this very important information, you will know more of what to expect from bullies and how you can use it to your advantage and stay a few steps ahead of them.

This post is all about what you’re likely to find inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it for self-preservation.

Inside the mind of a bully

Again, you are the enemy. Period. Moreover, even as the bully is ritually torturing you, even if you’ve done nothing to deserve it, that bully still see you as the adversary.

Therefore, they think you should just take the abuse. And once you speak out about the bullying, a bully’s enmity will only increase exponentially.

Once bullies get a fix on you, you are all they can focus on because they feel threatened. You see, hate creates this kind of obsession in any bully. And it’s difficult for them to get rid of.

Bullies and abusers only see from their own perspective. Moreover, their perspective has you as an opponent for them to punish. You’re a threat they must contain, even eliminate.

A bully or a group of bullies isn’t concerned with the fact that their anger and hatred are irrational. They don’t think that they’re destroying a fellow human being much like themselves. Moreover, a bully doesn’t think of you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You must realize that bullies are oblivious to the fact that the impetus of their violence comes from the primal part of their brains.

Why? Because, only one things matters to a bully. And what matter is that, right or wrong, you are the enemy. In other words, they view you as evil and they want revenge.

Therefore, your bullies have no inhibitions of destroying you because they think they’re the good guys. In that, they think they’re doing the right thing by destroying you.

It’s human nature. Evil enemies must be annihilated.

Inside the Mind of a Bully:

In their minds, you owe them respect

And when you don’t show the bully the respect they feel they’re entitled to, they must punish you. Moreover, if you don’t show it in the way bullies think you should, they also become enraged and seek to destroy you.

The power-dynamic between you and your bully is always zero-sum. They feel you deserve nothing but hostility and abuse. However, in contrast, you owe them respect.

In other words, they believe you should respect them as they abuse you.

From the bully’s perspective, you must atone for their flaws, shortcomings, and evil by lying down and “letting” them abuse you.

Moreover, bullies expect you to take it with a smile and a yes sir or ma’am, even ask for seconds. They also think you should be thankful that they don’t make things worse on you.

This is the mentality of bullies.

The Possibility of you standing up to them threatens them.

Why? Because, if you stand up to your bullies, there’s a risk that everyone who sees you will question their power! With bullies, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about hierarchy.

“We’re in charge here! You’re not and you should shut your mouth and do what we want!”

In other words, you’re lower on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you grow balls and challenge them by fighting back, you’ll likely humiliate them in front of everyone and make them look like punks!

You bullies can’t have that. Therefore, the constant torment they inflict on you isn’t only punishment. It’s the constant reinforcement of power. In other words, it’s to keep you from even thinking about defending yourself.

When you do clap back at your bullies, they’ll do one of either two things.

They’ll get the message that you’re no longer a victim, leave you alone, and go find another victim. Or, they’ll only double down on their abuse. Many bullies only intensify the abuse until they wear themselves out and decide you aren’t worth the trouble.

Or, they may wear you down. If they wear you down, the bullying will only get worse.

Therefore, you must continue standing your ground.

Inside the mind of a bully:

Most bullies are relentless.

Once you begin standing up to a bully or group of bullies, you must be consistent with it. Why? Because most bullies are relentless. In other words, you cannot stand up to them only one time and expect them to leave you alone.

Taking a stand only one time doesn’t win their respect. In many cases, it makes your bully angrier and the bullying gets worse before it gets better.

Again, it’s not about right or wrong. And it isn’t about fairness. Bullies view fairness as sappy fairy tales for babies. It’s about hierarchy and, by standing up to them, you just disrupted the social order.

Therefore, the bullies must intensify the bullying. They must teach you a lesson. Moreover, they must fight even harder to subdue you to keep their place in the social hierarchy.

‘You see? In their minds, you’ve forgotten who you are. You’ve gotten too big for your britches and too smart for your own good. Moreover, you’ve forgotten your place and you don’t know when to leave well enough alone.

However, what this really translates too is that you’ve become a threat to your bullies’ positions on the social totem pole. Therefore, they must contain the threat – you!

This is not only to teach you a lesson. It’s also to make an example out of you. In other words, it’s to let everyone else in the environment know that if they try anything like you did, or if they help you in any way, they’ll be next.

Realize that bullies have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. Therefore, standing up to them one time won’t work. Your bullies will only bully you harder, at first, to get you to submit.

Do bullies know they’re Bullies?

In most cases, YES!

Moreover, they’re damn proud of it. Why? Because, unfortunately, most people believe it’s cool to be cruel. You must accept this fact because, it’s just the truth of the messed-up world we live in.

The sad part is that the higher someone climbs, the more you see of their ass. In other words, the higher up the social hierarchy most people rise, the more brutal they are.

Why? Because the popularity and social capital serve to insulate them from accountability. Moreover, it gives them other perks like power, prestige, and influence. Therefore, they also have plenty of other powerful connections. This gives them liberties and favor that no one has access to.

Power like that is just too delicious to give up. Moreover, outside of their positions in the social arena, your bullies have nothing!

Therefore, they grow more arrogant and brazen with their bullying and abuse. However, if they ever lose face and fall to the bottom of the social hierarchy, the landing will be exponentially more brutal.

Why? Because of how they treated others when they were on top. Bullies know that if that ever happens, the humiliation will be unbearable and others will likely eat them alive!

In other words, the bullies will become targets themselves and oooh, the shame! Therefore, your bullies become desperate and will fight even harder to keep their social status!

Again, this is not the time to back down! Keep standing your ground!

Inside the mind of a Bully:

What to expect

Here’s what you can expect your bullies to try after you defend yourself and defeat them for the first time.

1. They’ll threaten the other people in the environment.

In other words, your bullies will let everyone else know that they can expect to be bullied too if they dare get out of their places.

2. Pit your friends against you.

If your bully can turn your friends against you, all the better. They may do this by accusing them of being in on your rebellion with you. Moreover they may defame each of your friends and try to turn others against them as well.

Understand that this is how your bullies use peer pressure to get your friends to turn on you. And once they do, your friends might blame you for dragging them into you and causing them to become targets.

Also, your bullies will try to make it impossible for you to make new friends.

However, understand that bullies do this strictly to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Therefore, keep standing up for yourself no matter what. And cut off any friends who turn on you because they were never your friends to begin with.

Do you really want a bunch of cowards as friends? I sure wouldn’t!

3. Inside the Mind of a Bully:

Send henchmen to physically harm you.

If they aren’t physical bullies, or, if they are and you beat the crap out of them in self-defense, your bullies will likely send others to do their violence for them. Moreover, most seasoned bullies are too smart to do something so obvious.

They’d rather not get their hands dirty. Therefore, instead of getting blood on their hands, they send a lackey after you. In fact, when the henchman catches up with you, your bullies won’t even be there.

Instead, they offer the roughneck the right incentives and send him. However, this happens only in extreme cases.

Even then, you must continue to stand up for yourself. But in cases like this, it’s better to get the police involved. But if you have to fight, do it like your life depends on it. Don’t back down.

Remember, you should never back down because, once you do, the bullying will only continue to escalate.

when and where does it stop?

It doesn’t. Bullying only gets worse until somebody dies or leaves the environment.

Therefore, if you’re a target of a bully, understand this. It doesn’t matter what the bully thinks. Neither the bully nor anyone else has a right to violate your boundaries, physical nor psychological.

I want you to know that you have a right to learn, work, or live in a safe environment. Moreover, you have a right to be in a nourishing environment that allows you to flourish. And you owe respect to no one who hasn’t earned it.

Bullies or anyone else who deliberately sets out to hurt you does not deserve anything from you. Understand that you must value yourself enough to put yourself first.

If someone is abusing you, you have every right to take care of yourself. You have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to walk away from the person.

If you can’t walk away- if the bully won’t let you walk away, then you have a right to defend yourself. Realize that you are valuable, and you matter just as much as the next person.

And everyone has flaws, not only you. If anyone bullies you, then they have no business coming anywhere near you. Always remember that.

This post was all about what’s inside the mind of a bully so that you can know what to expect and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You 

2. The 4 Stages of Bullying

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone