It’s because they somehow appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district. So, how do bullies do this, you might ask?
There are several ways:
1.Many bullies are stars of the school’s sports teams. Let’s face it. Schools have an interest in their sports teams. They want to win games and to win in regional, state, and national championships. Why? Because it bolsters the school’s image. And what school board member or principal wouldn’t want these things?
And if the school has a great reputation, the larger number of attending students they’re likely to have, and the more parents they’re likely to have to want their kids to attend. And the more students they have, the more funding the school gets from their state. Understand that schools have a vested interest in keeping their images in a positive light.
2. Many bullies excel academically. Schools are also rated by the grades their students make. If a school can keep the dropout rate low and crank out more graduates, particularly those who are students with high honors and candidates for colleges, the better their reputations and the higher the school is rated. And sadly, because of bullying, many targets drop out.
So, right or wrong, why would the school side with anyone other than its brightest stars and highest achievers?
It’s because schools are afraid that if they suspended a lot of bullies, the bullies’ grades will drop. Then, their parents, who are more than likely adult bullies, would show up demanding to know why their little darlings were suspended? And, this brings me to number three.
3. Many of these parents mentioned in number two are boosters. People who help fund the school’s programs. And trust me when I say that schools won’t risk losing these funders!
Therefore, schools will always side with the bullies and blame the target because appealing to the self-interest of any person or entity equals POWER! And most targets of bullying, I’m sorry to tell you, either don’t have the power that bullies have, or they don’t think they do.
I want you to realize that in most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about who is perceived to have the most power. Again, most people care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.
“What’s in it for me?”
If you can find a way to appeal to the school’s self-interest, then you have an ace in the hole.
Here are ways you can do this:
1. Excel and keep your grades up. I realize that this can be hard to do when you’re a target of relentless bullying because it breaks your concentration. Instead of focusing on schoolwork, you naturally focus on ways to be safe. That’s completely understandable. But make your bullies your motivation to excel.
There’s nothing wrong with compensating. And sometimes you must compensate to buffer your self-esteem and protect your mental health. So, compensate for your lack of friends and social connections with stellar grades and class performance. It will pay huge dividends. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself.
3. Find ways to benefit the school with your talents and gifts. If you can use your talents to bolster the school’s image, that’s a win for you, and the school will more likely support and protect you from bullies.
If you can sing, join the school choir and win in the all-state championships. Not only will you look good, but your school will also look good too!
Knowledge is power. So use it to your advantage!
0 thoughts on “3 Reasons Bullies Get Away with Murder and 2 Ways to Protect Yourself”
This post reminds me strongly of a great book I read last year, “Bullyocracy” by Donald Jeffries.
I had to put down the “conspiracy theory” books for a while in contemplation of this even more far-reaching problem that evil men and power make use of in order to keep their grip on society. Without bullies and a culture of bullying, they would never get away with what they do.
I have been enjoying your articles since they express what it’s like in the trenches, dealing with these characters. I got my share of this coming up through schools, and I see that it is widespread in society and a very key factor in the sociology of human civilizations.
Wow! 😃 I have got to order that book! Thank you so much for drawing my attention to it. And yes, bullying is widespread through society and it is a factor in sociology of civilizations. Sadly, in many societies, it determines who goes anywhere and who stays stuck. Bullying ranges from the nursery school to the high school, from the workplace to government! It’s everywhere. I’m so sorry you endured bullying. Know that you never deserved any of it.
I enjoyed this post and understand it. I was a school principal 15 years (7 elementary and 8 middle school). My own two sons, and me, were all bullied at times. Both my sons are in the Air Force now and still face it. I hate bullying. And because I would call out ANYONE who tried to belittle someone I became a target at times. Last names didn’t matter to me. I operated with love. To treat every human as they deserve. And when someone was emotionally or physically attacked, there would be consequences. I pray everyone has the faith and fortitude to reach their ultimate gifts. Find someone who will stand with you, mentor you, protect you. When we see it we should address it. We all know that fair isn’t always equal. But treating people equally and with respect is what I pray would happen. I have faith in change. I have faith people can change. And I pray status and money will not be reasons that hurting someone is allowed. 🙏🏻😕
I so admire you for standing up for the bullied students, K.L. And I’m sorry that some of the bullies’ parents felt so entitled they have carte blanche to bully you for putting their little angels in their places. I only wish I had someone like you as my principal back when I was in school.
Cherie, that made me tear up. Thank you for your kind words. I never “fit” the mold, Cherie. I didn’t have fancy clothes or thought I needed to ride a high horse. The 8 years I spent in a poor district were the best in my life. Some didn’t understand why I would want to live in my RV full time. I was there to empower food people~the weak that needed encouraging and support~and I’ve had grace given to me so I must give it back. I was even accused of spending too much time with parents, lol. But I had a beautiful career. Education is so different. I longed to teach in a one-room school house like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Teach writing through exploration of the outdoors and cooperation. That’s why I brought archery and conservation into middle school. No matter the size, gender, race, or outside anything, any child could learn to shoot. So I found a way to take kids fishing and teach cooking so that those kids who couldn’t dribble a ball or swing a bat felt worthy! I’m not trying to brag. It was just my life. And for those kids, I would’ve gave my life. Bless you for all you do to spotlight this issue. It was a constant for me too. Hugs and peace my friend. ❤️🤗🙏🏻
Bless you, K.L. The greatest people usually don’t fit the mold. It’s the best of the best who usually get bullied. Know that I see you and those kids in whose lives you made a difference- they saw you and they will never forget you. You’re one of those few educators who are unforgettable. Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement. It means a lot! 💖💐🌹😊
I’m humbled my friend. 😭😭 your words mean more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for your kindness and encouragement too. ❤️🤗🙏🏻
You’re more than welcome! 🙂🦋
Too many schools do push sports over learning and treat the jocks as mollie coddled gods with carte blanche to throw their brute privilege around.
You said that perfectly, Michael! 💯
Thanks but Jello Biafra said it originally so the credit should go to him.