Even Bullies Get Talked About

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If there’s one thing small towns are known for, it’s gossip. If you find yourself unfortunate enough to be a victim of bullies in a small town, gossip about your (perceived) transgressions has reached from city limits to city limits…at light speed.

However, take it from someone who has been there. Bullies get talked about too, only people never talk openly about them. Because the talkers fear becoming the bullies’ next targets, the talk is always in secret.

Believe me, you aren’t the only one being victimized. There are others. But because the others more than likely won’t admit to being bullied and because bullies will never tell you if there are others, you never hear about it and, therefore, mistakenly think that you are the only one they pick on.

If you are a target of bullies, it would be in your best interest to find out who your bullies’ enemies are and align yourself with them. It’s what I did, and boy, did I find out some really juicy tidbits about their lives…most of which is rather embarrassing information!

I didn’t have to ask. I would only sit or stand quietly, observe, and listen! Bullies may think they’re stars, but scratch the surface, and you’ll discover that they don’t shine so brightly after all.

One of my bullies is now a nurse, and I am good friends with several nurses who’ve had the displeasure of working with her. In their words, “she is as incompetent as they come.”. Also, she has a big family secret, and if you’ve lived in the same town that she lives in long enough, you know what that secret is.

I’ll stop here to protect privacy. For years, this woman has bounced from one job to another, either getting fired or quitting when things didn’t go her way. She has also been through five, maybe six marriages.

Another bully dropped out of high school and ended up working as a waitress. She now owns her own restaurant but barely breaks even. Several others are incarcerated or have been, with one being convicted of murder and another convicted of armed robbery, running guns, and possession of illegal substances.

The bullies I battled in school are only ordinary people. Yet, even today, most of them continue trying like mad to keep up with the Jones’s, making everyone think they have beaten the rat race and failing miserably. Most have never left the small town and still put on the facade of power and a perfect life. It’s hilarious when you really think about it.

Here’s some advice:

1. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Befriend the other outcasts in your school, workplace, or community. Because I guarantee you that you aren’t the only one they’ve steamrolled. Bullies leave a lot of shattered lives in their wake and make lots of enemies. And strength always comes in numbers.

2. Listen out! You will hear many stories about your bullies from the rest of the outcasts and other people who cannot stand them. You will be surprised at what you find out. It may be that your bullies get laughed at too. People are only careful who they do it around and are quieter about it. They must be, or the bullies will target them too.

Bullies aren’t as important or invincible as they put on. It’s only an act! People such as these must work hard to maintain the facades they put on, and the reason they give targets a difficult time is that targets don’t have to work that hard. They simply choose to be themselves.

How do I know this? Because I ingratiated myself into the good graces of the enemies of my bullies and would get an ear-full every time we got together.

Any information you get about your bullies is valuable to you. Always! Because it can then be used as leverage should the bullies come for you.

Make no mistake. Bullies have enemies…LOTS of them! However, they will never in a million years tell you about it. They don’t want you to believe that others disrespect them behind their backs because it would shatter the image of invincibility they’ve set for themselves.

Instead, they want you to believe that everyone loves them and thinks they are the best things since the wheel’s invention. And they want you to believe it because they want you to feel bad about yourself.

Put another way, if bullies can make you think that everyone loves them, then you’re more likely to believe the lie they drum into your head every day. That you’re just plain garbage. Because a bully’s popularity and greatness (perceived or not) only serves to re-enforce any dislike the target has for themselves after they’ve been bullied for so long.

Please don’t let this happen to you. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Open your eyes not only to your great value and worth but also to the facades your bullies hide behind and the acts they put on. I guarantee that your self-esteem will skyrocket.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “Even Bullies Get Talked About

  1. aparna12 says:

    Awesome! Your blogs on bullies is very very interesting and very impressive. Your suggestions to tackle them are fantastic. Bravo! Keep up the good work.

  2. Arun Singha says:

    1. Instead, they want you to believe that everyone loves them and thinks they are the best things since the wheel’s invention. And they want you to believe it because they want you to feel bad about yourself.
    This is 100 % true. I have been finding it since long. I didnot know that this is their quality. After going through your posts, i understood everything that happened and happening. I know i can not stop. But i am alert! I am not getting hurt as that i used to . After studying ancient philosophy, i have made myself defensive for offensive words. managing somehow. I believe, it will improve further.
    god is helping me through you, thats what i believe.
    Thank you so much, so so much.
    Best regards.πŸ™πŸ˜Š

  3. wjwingrove97 says:

    A lot of my friends were bullied along with me, but we never had a single conversation about it! Silence is what makes tyrants and bullies strong..it is their oxygen! Thanks angel πŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯ž

  4. Maryanne says:

    You don’t have to befriend a bully’s enemy to know that they are insecure and not that great. It’s psychology 101. People bully because they are unsure of themselves. It makes them feel “big” to belittle others. And it is true, bullies don’t became much in life because they have low standards and a team to cheer them on, no matter how small their accomplishments.

    • cheriewhite says:

      True. However, when you’re a target of bullying, you need support, you need allies. What’s a better way to get that than to befriend the enemies of the bullies? It’s strategy and you just might end up with friends for life.

    • euroktoo says:

      Some are- my boss just got promoted last year! And I have no idea why- he is is a steam roller- and I was his 4th in this school! I wish people in Human Resources understood this- it seems like they must have missed Psych.101. Amazing?! When you mention bully bosses to HR they seeem lost, aloof or better: in complete denial. I just heard about this author-Jeffrey Pfeffer – who wrote Dying for a Paycheck where he shares that workplace bullying & toxicity is the SIXTH LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH in the USA. I can imagine it is the same in Canada- yet who is doing anything?

  5. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Yep, bullies need not think they are immune to public and private scrutiny! What they throw at others gets thrown back at them with greater speed and harsher consequences. When will they learn??? πŸ˜²πŸ€”πŸ™„

  6. ourlittleredhouseblog says:

    My brother-in-law is a bully. He even bullies kids and animals. He reminds me of that older brother in the movie weird science (from the 80’s). The weird creature he was turned into was so funny. He was just a mean, mean guy. My brother-in-law has been through several girlfriends, and the only time he got married it would last two years before his kind wife left him. He was even cruel to her. My mother-in-law loves him so much though and sadly does not treat my husband, her younger son with the same love. Bullies are made into the monsters they are by the environments they have grown up in.

    • cheriewhite says:

      My heart goes out to all the people your broth-in-law bullied. And I’m proud of his wife for leaving his sorry butt! And you’re right, bullies are made by the environments they grow up in. Many, like your brother-in-law are made by their parents the Golden Child who can do no wrong. As a result, they become entitled, demanding, and arrogant! Thank you so much for sharing this. ❀️

  7. euroktoo says:

    The ones from Junior High were the worst when I think back- but you know, none of them did a hill of beans with their lives. As you said, “most of them continue trying like mad to keep up with the Jones’s, making everyone think they have beaten the rat race and failing miserably.” Karma perhaps dealt them a fair hand after all! I never seek revenge- I wait – and I have great patience too- I just let Her roll out what is coming to them! LOL!

  8. RespectAll44 says:

    Good post. Everyone gets talked about by some group or person. Look at any internet story and then read the comments. It could be a story on Mother Theresa and someone has a snide remark.

    I am going to softly disagree with you on a few things and hope you aren’t offended because I respect you but one, while it is good to know and be friends with the enemies of bullies it should be done for the right reasons. Don’t (and not saying you did) pretend like you are friends with someone you don’t really view as a friend just because they don’t like a bully. That is using a person and that isn’t right. Not saying you or anyone here has done that but fake friendships are cruel because someone gets hurt.

    Two, the nurse is a good example of someone’s behavior apparently not changing but I do have to respectfully disagree on a couple of things you said about the other one (and obviously I have no idea who this person is) but let’s all base things strictly on behavior not hardships in life. Her dropping out of high school can occur for many reasons like pregnancy etc. Many drop out of high school or college for a ton of reasons. Becoming a waitress isn’t a bullying issue, it is a job many do. We should never rank jobs and owning a restaurant is actually making something of yourself. Over half of all restaurants don’t make it and most only break even. It is hard to make a profit in that profession. If she is still a bully that’s valid. Owning a struggling a business isn’t. I mean unless we all are college degreed people and working in successful careers none of us should cast stones on that whether it is me, you, or another reader.

    I am sorry how that sounded. I just want all of us to be better people not in some ways being just like they are.

    • cheriewhite says:

      “Don’t (and not saying you did) pretend like you are friends with someone you don’t really view as a friend just because they don’t like a bully.” -Awesome point! You’re right! πŸ’― And I couldn’t do that under those pretenses because it would feel fake to me and that’s not a good feeling! You just gave me an idea for a future post! Thank you so much!

      And you’re right about the restaurant work. I would never look down on anyone doing menial work because I’ve done that kind of work. However, this lady is still a bully because I received some really nasty messages from her after I published my first book just a few years ago.

      And please don’t apologize. You made some valid points here. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’–πŸ’πŸŒΉ

      • RespectAll44 says:

        Thank you and if she is still bullying then that is something entirely different. Kids doing it is horrible, adults doing it indefensible and you would like to think someone who owns a struggling business which is driven by getting as many customers as she can, would develop some humility and respect for others trying to kick and claw their way through life. I certainly hope I am different than I was 20, 30 years ago. Some people never change though because it isn’t immaturity, etc like affects many of us especially during the puberty years, it is their true heart and that is just sad.

        • cheriewhite says:

          You’re absolutely right. πŸ’― I believe she puts on an act in front of most people. Only the few who she bullies sees the real person behind the mask she wears. But that’s how bullies operate. They fool everyone else but show their targets the worst sides of them. It’s sad indeed. Because someone who’s truly happy doesn’t need to act that way.

  9. KT Workman says:

    A few years ago, I got a new supervisor at work who was was a bully, and though she didn’t target me, she did two of my fellow co-workers, who were on the timid side. And there were others I didn’t know as well that she bullied to a lesser extent. It took me going to the head honcho and telling her what was going on to stop it. Though everyone who worked under this woman knew she was a bully, none would stand up to her, alone or as a group. I felt the only way I could stop the bully was report her to the boss, a woman I worked under for many years and who trusted me to tell it like it is. There is strength in numbers, but I couldn’t get my co-workers to band together. Luckily, the boss put a stop to the bullying.

  10. holliemayx says:

    Thanks for this. I was always Bullied as a child growing up into a teen never was a bully myself. Thank you for this post it must be normalise importantly this topic 🀘🏽

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