Anytime you stand up to or reject a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. You immediately take your personal power back and you automatically put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority. You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. This is why bullies cannot handle rejection because they feel that they must always be in the position of power in a relationship, especially the bully/target relationship.
A bully gets angry enough when anyone stands up to them. But if the person standing up to them happens to be the target- someone that they’ve grown accustomed to abusing- someone who they deem inferior, that’s when the bully really loses their marbles.
This is because the target is most likely on the bottom of the pecking order and when she finally bucks up and stands up to a bully, she then (figuratively) trades places with the bully and puts the bully on the bottom of the pecking order, if only for that moment. That’s what the bully can’t handle and that’s why he/she will explode with rage.
The bully’s unspoken message is:
“How dare you!”
“Who is this phlegm-wad to stand up to me? ME!
“This piece of scum is supposed to be under me and here she is talking to me and acting like she’s OVER me! Oh no! This can’t happen! Who does this loser think she is!”
“The nerve of that &#$%!”
“She’s making trouble and now I’ve got to really act out to put her back under me where she belongs!”
Understand that bullies rely on fear, overwhelming strength, and coercion to get what they want from you. And they’ve been steamrolling people and getting their way for so long that they’ve become quite arrogant and self-satisfied. And when you finally have enough of their gas and set your foot down, you can bet that it’s going to throw these types of people off. And do you know what else it’s going to do?
It’s going to blast a huge hole in their ego and it will shock the bejeebers out of them. Then the bullies will become highly PO’ed. In fact, they’ll become so angry that they’ll more than likely go from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. If the bully is a narcissist (and most bullies are), he will go into what is called narcissistic rage. And trust me, you don’t want to be anywhere around when this happens.
So, keep this in the back of your mind and be prepared. If you are a target of bullying and anytime you get fed up with others’ abuse and finally grow a spine, you can bet that your bullies will do anything they can to break it. It’s why they escalate the bullying when a target stops accepting the bad treatment and begins speaking out and asserting themselves.
Understand that a bully has a very delicate ego and his ego is involved. When you tell them to go kick rocks, you undermine their perceived superiority over you. Even worse, you put them into an inferior position and the bully knows that. Bullies are very prideful and their pride takes a huge blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than to be made inferior, especially to their targets.
When you stand up to your bullies, be prepared for a battle because they will become vindictive. Your bullies will seek revenge on you and they won’t stop coming after you until they get it. Realize that they don’t care if they’re the ones who’ve mistreated you all these years and they don’t care that you’ve suffered.
The only thing they are thinking at this moment is that you challenged their superiority and authority. You are a target and nothing else. You are beneath them, yet you had the nerve to undermine them and make them look like punks and now you must pay a price for it. This is how bullies think.
Now yes, some bullies will back down but many will not.
However, know that you must defend yourself no matter what because you have a right to safety and to be treated with dignity. And if the bullies and bullying become too much to deal with, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the environment. Realize that leaving is not running and it’s not being fearful or “chicken.” It’s self-care, it’s smarts, and it’s self-preservation. You must do what you must to protect not only your physical health, but also your mental health.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Here’s How the Dynamics Change When You Stand Up to a Bully”
Cherie, this is excellent advise. Anyone struggling in an abusive situation, who reads this article, should find help. You are a positive voice in this arena.
Thank you so much, Mary! This means a lot! 💐🕊
Excellent post reflecting a great insight on the behavior of the bullies when the roles are reversed. You have aptly brought out the after effects of such a rude shock to the bullies.
Thank you so much. 🙂 I’m honored and humbled by this. 💐🕊
Kill urself bitch
You first. 🤣😂🤣😂
I assume you aren’t church going folk with that language. Cherie is trying to help bullied people and you come on here claiming she is playing the victim role yet you come on her site and attempt to bully her and tell her to kill herself. What you have done is proven what she has said is accurate. You proved her point. And let me might add since you have such an issue with her, why don’t you post your name or contact information or email her and tell her who you are because what I do see here is she doesn’t hide behind a keyboard (which is as cowardly as it gets), she tells you who she is, gives her email address etc because she stands behind what she says and as I read some of these blog posts she has no problem engaging in adult conversation even when a user disagrees with her as long as it isn’t personal attacks. That is what civilized adults do. She stands up for her convictions, why don’t you show the same guts she has. Allow me to answer that. Because you know she is right, people like you prove that. Confront her she will happily oblige or I see she writes books, sit down and write your own.
Thank you so much! I so appreciate your support! 💖💐🌹I believe this person only wants attention because they can’t get it in the real world. Let’s starve this troll. 😊
Oh yes ma’am, change the power dynamic cause that will throw them off big time! This includes any loser trying to throw daggers at you even on your own forum. SMDH 😡
Absolutely, Kym. And yes, I’m still getting attacked, girl! But it’s going straight to the trash folder. At the same time, I’m collecting more evidence. I will post an update on the 5 ways to bust a cyberbully later on. Right now I’m just gathering more evidence. I want to thank you so much for your love, support, and friendship, sweetie! It means more than I could ever tell you. 💖💐🌹🕊
Obviously you are doing something right, because it’s very apparent that you are lifting up the stones where the vipers roam and the bullies hide! 🐍 They are pissed that you are exposing them, and so I say, keep doing what you’re doing! So proud of you girlie! 🙏🏼 Stay strong!!!! 💪🏼
I sure will, sweetie! 💪💪💪 You know it! And you’re right, they’re being exposed and they’re not only pissed, they’re SCARED and they’re panicking! 😂🤣😜😜
You hit the nail on the head! 🔨🔨🔨 Booyah!!! 🤜🏼🤛🏼
Great advice! Purrseidon has been having issues with ‘Carol’, again. I view it as bullying for some stranger to think she can tell a cat what she may or may not post on her blog. She gets totally bent out of shape when Purrseidon posts anything that can be considered political. She was silent for a while, but griped about some point Purr made on the Friday fillins… those are opinion! After a couple spats, which now make me wonder if she’s an actual human, instead of a bot, Purr blocked her… we simply don’t have time for Carol’s nonsense, particularly when she seems to be snarling on some agenda. Apparently, Carol was set off when Purr said, “I don’t understand why anyone believes the fake news.” … IF she keeps this up, Purr plans to turn off comments… I don’t know how she’ll get around being blocked, but she seems to have changed her ID a couple times before… Have no idea if my poor cat is her only target, but think it’s a tossup between pitiful and comical that she seems determined to tell Purrseidon how to write her blog and/or what she can put in it.
Initially, Purr told Carol that if she wanted to read the perfect blog, she should begin her own so she could have just want she wanted.
I still think that was good advice, but doubt Carol took it.
Unfortunately, trolls just want to start drama, Jeanne. My trolls are still at it and I think it’s hilarious how they use all CAPS, which signals yelling, and gutter language and they think that’s going to scare is into writing what they want. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am a firm believer, and it takes guts if you have been bullied often, to stand up to a bully. It is necessary if you have any chance of changing the dynamic. And I hate to say this but that includes physically. Bullies are cowards and will often back off but when they don’t, it is like this. If they win, their entourage of bystanding coward supporters will expect it. But if they lose their power and influence is gone.
Booyah! 💯🎯👍You nailed it! If a bully physically attacks you, you have every right to beat the breaks off that bully. That’s self-defense! 💯 Everything you said here is 💯 correct! Thank you so much for your thoughts! 😊🤗
Thank you so much. 🙂
I shared this to Facebook. 👍
You’re most than welcome to share it, Rich. Thank you so much. I’m honored. 😊
You have Very good blogs. They help.
Thank you so much! 💖 Your give much encouragement to keep writing and I love your positivity! 😃
Me to love writing. Writing Help me thinking and give me power .
Yes it does! It does the same for me too. It’s cathartic and very therapeutic! One of the best kinds of therapy there is! In writing, you get to have your say and no one can shout you down. Writing is the best! <3
I am optimistic. Always. I think positive thinking , bringing positive things
That’s awesome! I’m so proud of you! 😀
Thank you. I am to proud of you. 👍🤗
I am going sleep. Its night. 22hour is here