13 Secrets My Bullies Never Thought I Knew

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two faced

Bullies keep so many secrets. They have to, to maintain the facade they hide behind. Bullies must continue to wear a veil of perfection, toughness, and coolness, and they take extreme pains to keep that veil from falling off. But if you watch and listen, your bullies secrets will eventually seep through by either dumb mistakes they make, or through the gossip of others.

1. One or both of their parents were drug dealers. A few classmates came from homes that people bought drugs out of. Because of this, these bullies were either ashamed of what they were living in or felt ignored.

2. They were on welfare. Many of my bullies came from families that had a tradition of living on welfare and in many cases, it went back a few generations. These bullies were deliberately having babies because they wanted to draw a welfare check. Others were ashamed of it and took extreme measures to hide it from the rest of the student body.

victim blame It's your fault

Don’t get me wrong, I never look down on anyone who draws assistance. Life happens. We lose our jobs or issues with our health arise and sometimes you need help keeping the bills paid. I get that. But when you try to be someone you’re not and act like your better than the rest, that, I have an issue with.

3. Their parents fought all the time. Other classmates dealt with such drama at home. Therefore, they would start altercations at school too. You are what you live.

4. They were being abused/neglected by parents. Several classmates were getting their butts kicked at home. So, they’d come to school to bully and physically attack me and a few others to overcompensate and feel some sense of power. If they had no control over their own lives, they would come to school and assert control over someone else’s.

bullying cat and mouse

5. Their mothers had a different partner over every night. So many of the female bullies would come to school and call other girls whores, sluts, and skanks. But these were names they really wanted to call their own mothers because the lovers in their mothers’ lives usually came before the needs of their daughters.

6. They had a parent who was an alcoholic/drug addict. Many of my classmates were angry and bitter because they had parents who stayed drunk and loaded. The drugs and booze would usually come before the child and would force the family into poverty. Some of the parents were “mean drunks” and lashed out at their children.

7. They had a parent who was supposedly a criminal. One of my female bullies had a parent who was rumored to be a murderer. Although the suspected parent was a big wheel in the town and was never convicted, there was plenty of talk about it around town and everyone knew about it.

narcissist hurbris

8. They were dirt poor. Many of my bullies lived in trailer parks, shacks, and the projects. Some didn’t have indoor plumbing and used outhouses for a bathroom- even in the winter. Because they were ashamed, they’d come to school and shame others to feel better about themselves.

9. A parent had abandoned them. Again, may of my bullies were full of anger and bitterness. When they got to school, they’d take it out on their vulnerable targets. It gave them a sense of power. Many of these bullies were also jealous of targets who had more than they did and would bully them as punishment for being from families who were financially better off.

10. They were victims of sexual abuse by a family member or their mothers’ boyfriends. These girls felt utterly powerless. So, to not feel so helpless, they’d jockey for power at school by asserting dominance over their targets.

11. They’d had multiple abortions. Many of my female classmates, especially those who were popular, slept around and many become pregnant- two or three times during school. Their parents were public figures with images to protect. Therefore, these parents would finance their daughter’s abortions to hide the shame they feared would befall their perfect little families. One girl had an abortion in the sixth grade.

This is not to voice any political beliefs here. The point is that these bullies were far from perfect (aren’t we all), yet they’d move Heaven and Earth to hide it and wear a veil of sheer perfection while condemning others for doing the same things they themselves were doing. Bullies are notorious hypocrites.


12. They’d go slumming. Many of the bullies in the preppy crowd would go to the projects and slept with some of the women who lived there. When the parents of two of them found out about it, they sent them to a group home for the rest of the school year (ninth or tenth grade).

13. One of the teachers who bullied me was sleeping around – even having sordid affairs with some of the boys on the varsity football team. And it was common knowledge around town. But because this teacher had connections in town and her father was a businessman, she kept her job and everything was hush-hush around certain people who were allies of hers.

However, when people were at a safe distance and out of earshot of anyone who might have gone back and informed her of who the talkers were, they would trumpet the juicy info loud and proud.

shame bullied victim

People can live their lives the way they want. No one is perfect and we all have hang-ups. As long as it doesn’t affect my life any, more power to them. But when they look down on others they deem unworthy of dignity and accuse them of committing the same sins as they do, it’s a clear indicator of gross hypocrisy.

The point is, most bullies have dirty little secrets that they don’t want to get out. Always! Why do you think they target others with their vitriol? It’s all designed to keep the negative spotlight off them and place it onto the target.

It’s a way to keep their own skeletons from seeing the light of day. Because if everyone is too busy looking at and judging the victim, they pay less attention to the bullies’ sins, snafus, and faux pas.

0 thoughts on “13 Secrets My Bullies Never Thought I Knew

  1. Greg Dennison says:

    The ones about being poor, having been abandoned by a parent, and the like kept making me think of Nelson from The Simpsons. That show is such good satire because it gets all of those little details right.

  2. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Whoooaaaaa…talk about incriminating evident. 😲😱😬 You could have spilled the beans on so many levels and it could have been done in such a way where they never would have known you did it. 🤨 When you think about it, they have more skeletons in their closet than a cemetery! ☠👻💀 Geez!

  3. Dawn Pisturino says:

    This is also what I have seen in mental health. And many of these bullies would be considered anti-social as a result of their experiences. These are the kind of people who end up in the criminal justice system. And their situations do not excuse their behavior or breaking the law. The key is to identify troubled kids when they’re very young and to get them the help they need. Once they reach teenage years, it is generally too late. Our society abhors bullying but also encourages it as a means to an end.

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re absolutely right, Dawn. And many bullies do end up in the criminal justice system. However, it’s the ones who don’t end up in the system and instead, end up in the boardroom and in management who are the worst bullies. 💔

  4. mentalitytea says:

    Lmao. Sheesh. You’re on fire with this one!! I love way you speak out against bullying . i observed that you are very passionate about this subject. Also very intuitive! Your vibrations are getting interesting!!!! KEEP GOING!!! 😁

  5. Sara Flower Kjeldsen says:

    Yeah so much of it is deflection. They felt helpless or hurt once, so they want to fire it back at someone else who’s minding their own business. It sucks, but the truly strong don’t bully back. They stay kind. Like you.

    • cheriewhite says:

      Thank you so much. However, I was a young smartalicky teenager. I gave it back. I was stubborn, rude, and defiant. 🤣😂🤣😂 But I’ve since learned that all that isn’t necessary. If only I knew then what I know now.

        • cheriewhite says:

          Absolutely. You learn to pick your battles when you get older. Mostly you walk away or dismiss the person. And on the occasion you do clap back, you do it in fewer words, then walk away leaving the bully slackjawed. 😁😁😁

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