Anytime a target is bullied in school or college, adults can give some of the most ridiculous, downright ludicrous advice that, in most cases, has no chance of ever producing positive results. This isn’t to say that the people who give the advice don’t mean well, because most of the time, they do. It only comes from a lack of knowledge.
However, other adults, like a few teachers and school officials will often give the same advice not only out of laziness, but also hoping the target will forget about the bullying he/she suffers and let the bullies off the hook. I write this from personal experience.
I can tell you that I got lots of advice back in the day that was not only ineffective, but counterproductive, from a few well-meaning family members who didn’t know better, lazy teachers, and not-to-be-bothered principals. And when I did take their advice and found that it produced no results, I felt let down to say the least.
Here are some things that were suggested to me years ago when I was in the battle of my life:
1.Ignore them. I’m sure everyone who has ever battled bullies has gotten this advice. Here are a few reasons why this almost never works.
a. Bullies seek attention. And they are relentless in that pursuit. If one thing doesn’t get your attention, they will try something else, and they won’t stop until they’ve worn you down and caused you to react out of exhaustion. Even then, they won’t stop.
b. Bullies think they’re entitled to unearned respect. Many of these bullies get extremely angry when you ignore them because they see it as disrespect. Then, they will retaliate and continue to make you pay from that day forward.
c. Bullies mistake your ignoring them for fear- these bullies are like wild animals. When they smell fear (or think they do), look out! Because they’ll take full advantage until they either crush you underfoot, or you blow your top, knock the taste out of their mouths, and land in trouble with school authorities or police.
The best thing to do is to come back at the bullies with something witty to throw them off balance, or initiate a good burn to humiliate them and make them think twice about ever coming for you again.
2. Just Overlook Them. Right! It’s hard to overlook a bully who’s in your face, screaming curses and obscenities at you, daring you to say something back to them or to hit them. It’s also difficult to ignore a bully who’s beating the crap out of you after school every other day. How can you overlook or ignore that?
The best thing to do here is to tell them to back the hell off or if need be, defend yourself by putting up your dukes and fighting back like your life depends on it.
3. Kill them with kindness. Shh-yeah! Although it may work with bully-victims who bully you, it will never in this lifetime work with narcissistic bullies. Narcissists see kindness as weakness and will use it to their own ends and to crush you. Also, they’ll come back at you much harder because they see kindness as a bad reflection on them and they can’t handle anyone who naturally makes them look like scumbags.
The best thing to do with narcissists is to avoid contact with them altogether. Instead of killing them with kindness, kill them with indifference instead.
If you’re reading this, and you’ve ever been a target of bullying, feel free to comment about the bad advice you got from others in the below.
0 thoughts on “The Most Ridiculous Bullying Advice I Ever Received”
Useful advice 😊! Well written 😊👌💐🤗
Thank you so much, Priti! 😊🤗
😊❣️🍫❤️🙂🎉My pleasure. God bless you ☺️
God bless you too. 💖🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for following me, you are excellent trait
You’re most welcome. 🙂
I think I also received almost the same advice that you received. Very well presentef
Thank you so much, Raksha. 😊❤
So many schools choose to ignore bullying and even in 2021 the measures they have in place (if any) are ridiculous. Tell you another thing people say that drives me insane is when people say bullying is “a rite of passage.”
Absolutely! 💯🎯 That’s such a crock!
I can’t believe we are still at the point now where more isn’t done about bullying? All of these anti bullying things in place, clearly don’t work, they’re as rubbish as the advice. “Keep you head down” is another one, as you have said, they will find you anyway, and this advice sounds very much like victim blaming x
Victim-blaming is too right! You nailed it! And yes, I’ve heard keep your head down too. I’d forgotten about that one. I’d also forgotten about “keep your nose clean.”
“Keep you head down” which is very much like victim blaming if you ask me. If only you’d stayed out of there way! With all the anti bullying policies in place, you’d think we’d have better strategies by now x
You said that right! I love your answers! ❤
First-hand lessons learned Cherie. Sometimes you have to deal with these thugs one-on-one, because there is no one standard answer on how to handle your personal situation. Bullies, although classified as such, maneuver similarly (they’re predictable), yet can attack differently. Victims have to choose their counterattacks personally and methodically. 🤔
Even with anti-bullying policies in place, these jokers will remain the a$%holes that they are, until they get the beat-down one day from some bully bigger than them! SMH 🤨
You’re correct with 💯🎯 Everything you say here, Kym. Especially the beatdown solution. Sadly, yes. It usually takes giving them a good beatdown before they’ll go away and leave you alone. ❤🎉💐😊
OK!!! Either they back down or get beat down. 💯 It’s their choice! 👌 👏 🙌
BINGO! 🎯💯 ‘Don’t mean we necessarily like to fight. But sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do, girl! 👊🔔
Booyah!!! 🤜🏽🤛🏽 Enuf said girlfriend!!! 🎤
Rubber boots will help with bullies. 😀😀 When I was young I hit the girl with rubber boot when she was bulling me. She never repeat it 😀
‘Gave her “the boot,” did ya? 😂🤣😂🤣 Ouch!
😀😀 Yes it happened. I didn’t have anyone to protect me, so I had to stood up for myself. Rubber boot worked pretty well 🤣🤣
I bet it did! I sure wouldn’t have messed with you after that! 😀
For number one, may I swap “Ignore Them” to “Don’t Let It Get To You.” This makes it a total case of victim blaming because the target is seen as being thin skinned.
It can be code for that, Michael! Yep!
You are the best writter that life advise ever to my ears,be kind from their advise even though don’t change your life.waaooo
Thank you so much. 💖
That’s what teachers would say. “Ignore them”. These kids’ bullying was hard to ignore.
Well written 🙂
Thank you so much! 😊 I love your screen-name. 💖
Thank you! It took me a full day almost to think of one that just felt right
Dear Cherie, Interesting Narrative.
Thank you so much Anand! 😊
I received this exact «helpful» advice when I was bullied.
I have zero patience for these people. They are either lazy or stupid (or both). One thing’s for certain: they have never experienced bullying themselves.
You said it, girl! They’re enablers and they only re-enforce the bullying we suffer and the resulting trauma from it. We have a right not to trust these people ever again. And although I’ve forgiven my bullies amd I chose to do so for my benefit and not theirs, it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten and wish to be friends with them or want to be around them. You’re in the right for keeping them out of your life and you have my utmost support and respect.
Enablers, exactly. The crazy thing is that they actually believe they are giving useful advice. That they’re really helping.
I will never understand how someone can be so void of empathy, but I’ve come to realise that everyone really is the hero in their own story.
You are a better person than I am. I can’t forgive my bullies. I’ve tried. Some things are simply unforgivable.
I completely understand and I’ll never judge you for it. Bullies do a lot of unforgivable evils.