Even the best and kindest of people can help bullies to destroy a target. Oh yes! It’s true!
Many times, good people are either scared or duped into joining bullies in destroying targets. Understand that your bullies have either intimidated or lied to these people until they finally succeeded in turning them all against you.
What’s worse? These people really and truly do not believe they’re bullying you. They don’t see it as meanness and an attempt to cause another human being to suffer intense pain. People who willingly join with bullies and take part in torturing and tormenting another person do not think that what they’re doing is evil and sadistic. No.
What these people believe is that what they’re doing is good and morally right. Remember that you’ve been labeled immoral. Bullies have painted you as an evil adversary who needs to be punished.
Although the reality is that you’re totally innocent and wrongly persecuted, perceptions (opinions and attitudes) are everything, and bullies can easily distort others’ perceptions to fall in line with their narratives. And sadly, everything in life is based on appearances, and no one cares about what’s behind them.
Understand that, one by one, the “good” people will be sucked into the bullies’ smoke screens. And, one by one, they’ll join forces with the bullies in defeating “the evil enemy.”
These good people will gradually distance themselves from you. Then, little by little, they’ll join in the gossip and defamation of your character.
Again, these bystanders and witnesses don’t see what they’re doing as bullying. They genuinely believe that what they’re doing is a good thing- they’re only doing it for the greater good- the good of the school, alumni, and staff. They’re doing it for the sake of the company and people in it. They’re only showing loyalty and trustworthiness to the group. They’re heroes.
I want you to realize that this is how good people do bad things to innocent people. When this happens, the fact that you’re innocent and undeserving of the abuse and brutality just doesn’t come into it.
Also, understand that there are benefits that come with siding with a group against “the enemy” and few people will forgo those benefits.
The more you know.
I am ashamed to admit I think a lot of us are guilty of that. We know bullying is/was wrong, we aren’t mean people ourselves but we have a sheep mentality or are afraid a bully will turn on us. So many times I can remember growing up and seeing someone picked on. Never being a bully myself, I wouldn’t like it but I was one of those people that kind of went unnoticed, not a ton of friends but no real enemies either. Most people just let me be so there would be times I wanted to say something and I didn’t which made me just as guilty. Or if the clique would ask me how I felt about a person they were picking on I never had the guts to tell them they were wrong or that I liked the person which made me at the very least a conspirator to the crime.
I’ve been guilty of it too, I’m sorry to say. But no more! I’m sick of bullying and I’m down with the underdog. It’s just a shame it took getting older to get here.
Many “friendly” classmates refused to help when I was being bullied, cos they thought the bullies’ actions would “make me normal” and “mature”.
Or they thought they’d be the next people bullied if they helped you. Sadly, bystanders often do nothing but watch it happen or join in the fun.
You touched on the key points: gossiping and fear. Stay away from them. Let a bully know up front that you won’t gossip and you’ll make up your own mind what you think about someone. They hate being exposed, it shows them you’re courageous and won’t be manipulated, and they can’t own you. Our strength comes from a higher power (Psalm 56).
Bingo! 🎯💯 You said that perfectly, Clayton. Gossip and fear are the top two things that should be avoided at any cost. It’s definitely something I would tell them because I hate being controlled. 😡😡😡
However, there are many people who won’t and that’s what’s dangerous to a target. ☠👿