In movies and television, we see scenarios where targets stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, in most cases, this is not reality. Remember that bullies are relentless.
Here are the tactics bullies use when a target stands up for themselves:
If you are a target, you must realize that bullies will not relinquish their power so easily. They will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully. Bullies have an insatiable need to wield power over another, and without that power, they feel lost.
Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. And since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way left to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.
Make no mistake about it. When you kick unsavory people out of your life, they will do the following:
1. They will gaslight you- by adding their spin to make you look and feel like the villain and maligning you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.
2. They will lay guilt trips- by trying to convince you that you are at fault or that the abuse is your imagination. Bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.
3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign- by recruiting followers to spread rumors and lies. They will also try to turn your friends against you. It happened to me many times and it would come as retaliation for my having the gall to stand up to them and assert my God-given, divine right not to be abused or taken advantage of.
4. They will turn your friends against you- Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by Dividing and Conquering- attacking the targets’ relationships to turn everyone against the target to isolate them. Think about it. The chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to bullies.
5. They will project their shortcomings onto you– Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto the target?
6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours– What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!
If bullies can’t control you, they will control how others see you.
They use the above strategies not only to cover their backsides and to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself, but also to close you off from any possible help or protection.
Once the target is isolated, the bullies move in for the kill. Now, they can do with you whatever they choose to do, freely and with impunity because if everyone is against you, the least likely they are to report or stop the abuse. In the minds of others, you deserve what’s happening to you.
Bullies want to, figuratively, hold the target hostage, and they will resort to any means necessary to keep him/her on emotional lock down and “in their place.”
They will do it with physical violence when exclusion, subtle digs, verbal assaults, gaslighting, and other forms of psychological abuse no longer have an impact. Bullies will commit their violence either by committing bodily harm themselves or sending someone else to do their savagery for them.
This does not mean that you should not stand up for yourself because you should. However, when you do, be prepared. The torment will get worse before it gets better. Be strong. Be brave and know that none of it is your fault.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “The Persistence of Bullies: They Will Not Be Deterred”
This reflects my relationship with a bully perfectly. It took me 46 years to realise what they were about. Trying to rebuild my life now. Thank you for this.
You’re most welcome, Keleigh. My heart goed out to you for the way they treated you. I’m so proud of you for seeing them for who they were and taking control of your life. 😊
It is hard, but so worthwhile to stand your ground and not let bullies take control of your life.
Thank you so much for your persistence in Bullying awareness. One of my blogger friends recently posted a very sad story along these lines. https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/23067674/posts/3959882352
His name is Mitch Teemley. When you find opportunity please read. Thanks.
Thank you so much for the link. I’ll definitely read the post.
I read it and it broke my heart for that boy and his family!
There are just no words…So sad, so sad.
I hear you. 💯
It would be nice if it comes a time when bullies realize they have “wasted” time mobilizing air strikes on people they clearly fear or whose talents they wish they possessed. We see what’s going on here. Hopefully one day they will soon get “it.” 😱😲🤔 Great post girlfriend! 🥰💖🤗
Thank you so much, sweetie! I hope that happens too.
I agree. More knowledge…more power. Take control.
Absolutely right, Darnell! Thank you so much for visiting! You’re always welcome here. 😊🤗
I know this all too well. It is something I noticed years ago: let’s say a bully is coming at you, and on a scale of 1-10, their bullying is a 4. You take it for a while, but then one day you get sick of it, so you stand up to them, and your anti-bullying also ranks a 4. Well, the next day, the bully comes back with a 6. Stand up to them at 6, and they’ll skip a level and come back at an 8!!!
The only way I’ve found to counteract them is if they are at a 4, then YOU stand up for yourself at 8. It is the only way to truly rattle them and get them to knock it off after one round. (Granted, it doesn’t ALWAYS work, but it is more likely to succeed than if you match a 4 with 4.)
Absolutely right! 💯You have to strike back with so much force that you put the fear of God in them. Once you do that, they’ll leave you alone.
You’re very welcome. 😊
Well done Cherie! Your points show provocative evidence. Bullies do not understand limits to their behavior and actions.
Thank you so much, Buckeye! I so appreciate your input on this topic! 😊😊😊