Addressing Women Who Date Lowlifes

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Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they’d be a little more selective!

I’ve found that many of these women date no-count losers who don’t treat them well. I’ve seen their partners degrade these poor women and try to control them. Many of these partners are either broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.

Several of these bad partners and spouses are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them. And this becomes a cycle. Even sadder is the fact that many of these smart and beautiful women either move in with or marry these losers, then end up having to keep these scrubs up!

These women will pay their partner’s bills and try to make life easier for them, only to be disrespected by them later.

Let me give you my opinion here. And this opinion may tick a lot of people off, but I’ll say it anyway.

Unless they are sick and can’t work, any significant other who lives off a woman or works and spends the money on themselves rather than contributing to the home is a sorry sack! That’s how I view them. Still, many smart, talented, and beautiful women end up with just the type.

But why?

It’s because many of these women have low self-esteem. They’re blind to their beauty, intelligence, and strength. They’re afraid of being alone and don’t think they can do any better than these worthless partners. So, these women take what they think they can get and settle for so much less than what they deserve.

Also, they think that they can change the person or that the person has “potential.” So, again, in order to keep from being alone, they delude themselves into thinking that their partner is just going through a rough patch and that, eventually, they’ll do better. This is wrong and ends up dragging the poor woman down too.

denial willful blindess self-deceit, willful ignorance

It happens all the time. Smart and beautiful women resort to dating beneath their own standards to ensure they have a partner. Understand that they have the attitude that “anything is better than being alone.” So, they’re willing to put up with shabby treatment, spend all their hard-earned money to keep these creeps out of jail and do without just to keep a romantic partner.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be alone than to put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep me stressed out and broke. I can do bad all by myself! I don’t need help from some scumbag.

I realize that life can be tough and we all get down on our luck sometimes. It happens. So, if you have a partner who’s striving and has lost their job, by no means am I suggesting that you leave because things happen that are beyond our control. And chances are that a person who really wants to do better will eventually. But if your partner doesn’t bother to try, you may want to consider other options.

If you’re in either of these types of relationships, know that you owe it to yourself to leave and to be more selective. Know that you’re worth it and if the other person can’t get their act together, you have every right to show them the door.

The last thing you should do is to waste any more time with a partner who doesn’t value you or the good you bring to their life. So, don’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who only takes you for granted. Find someone who values and cherishes you. Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

Later, I will post about men who date toxic partners.

0 thoughts on “Addressing Women Who Date Lowlifes

  1. 80smetalman says:

    Some low life men will seek out successful women because they are inwardly intimidated by such women and therefore, “want to put them in their place.” Likewise, there are women who seek out successful men as a meal ticket.

  2. fabricthatmademe says:

    You described my MIL here in some parts. She is a very sweet lady but has an issue making herself a victim. She likes people to feel bad for her and she doesn’t want to be lonely, which I can symphonize with. So she gets involved with bad seeds repeatedly. The part that is frustrating for everyone else, is that we are attached to her… her ripple effect. It’s a bad thing on the guys part but it’s bad on hers also. Just being able to breathe is not good enough. Having standards isn’t a bad thing but she thinks so.

    • cheriewhite says:

      My heart goes out to her and to you. Many times, the women who believe and repeat these patterns had fathers that treated them like garbage when they were growing up. They may have watched their mothers be abused by their fathers, or their fathers weren’t around at all. I believe it comes from the way men treated them when they were little girls. I’m proud of you for being a great friend to her. ❤💐🌹

  3. LAMarcom says:

    Damn! I LOVE YOU GURL!
    hAVE i TOld yOu rEceNnTlY hOw mUCH i aDmIRe THE WORK YOU ARE DOING?
    You amaze me!
    How do you find the time?????
    Create such great, thoughtful content?
    It takes me 13 minutes just to get out of bed!
    I love what you do!
    Marry me?
    Just jokin’!
    Fairly certain I would
    Live up
    Any expectations you may have
    I am famous for
    not livin’
    I was
    Away from me!

    I love you


  4. Sue says:

    I agree. Actually I think both people should be working in this day and age men and women both. If it is a true partnership both should contribute financially and around the house. Let me also say this. One thing I notice is this friend zoning stuff. No not everyone is meant to be but far too many times the nice guys or girls get friend zoned because they are actually (gasp) nice. And people have this vision of dating some super hunk or supermodel. Most people are neither good nor bad, they are average looking. All of us need to look at ourselves in the mirror and realize we aren’t flawless either.

  5. Time Traveler of Life says:

    You nailed so well that it is a shame that we can’t make those that need it read what you said. I have long thought we need to bring up our girls to think for themselves. To be totally independent and not need anyone to make them whole. Make them realize they ARE a whole person, and to look for a helpmate, not someone that needs them.

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re absolutely right. I believe that most women who pick these lowlifes were once little girls whose fathers treated them like garbage or they ran off. Lots of times when a father treats their little girl like she’s trash, he sets her up to pick partners who are also abusive.

  6. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Guurrrrllll, I have seen this far too often, where desperate people do desperate things. I have seen women repeatedly do this, like they are hungry for anything that will show them a smidgen of attention. They willingly lower their standards and it makes me want to scream because they are setting themselves up for a ton of heartbreak. UGH!!! 😫😥😣 Great message Cherie!!! 👏🏽👍🏽🙏🏽

  7. Debby says:

    My first marriage to my HS sweetheart ended after 24 years and 3 kids. He was a narcissist- blamed me for all his troubles. I finally kicked him out. No regrets. He wasn’t the same person I used to know. Second time is the charm! I’ve been remarried to a wonderful man who values me. We’re going on 20 years this coming Feb!

  8. Omali Hope says:

    Dear Cherie.. you said a lot here! Women accepting toxicity subconsciously, settling for less and belittling standards. The day we are conscious of who we are, that’s the day we are liberated!

    I love this piece ❣️

  9. Gelin says:

    Nice one.
    Still single, can’t seem to find the right fit
    Most men think I’m too strong-headed and on.
    In spite of my desire to be loved and love,I would not lower my standard to find love.

    • cheriewhite says:

      Know that you’re a strong and brave woman and you deserve a partner who truly loves you, who works hard, and who respects you. And you’ll find that person sooner or later..

      I’m married now, but I was there once upon a time. I was single for 8 years after I divorced my first husband. I had standards and didn’t lower them for anyone. Many of my friends were dating guys who stayed in and out of jail, who cheated on them all the time, who abused them, and who wouldn’t work. But I just couldn’t see myself with those types. Eventually, great men started finding me and I’m now married to an awesome husband who loves and takes care of me. We’ve had our rough patches, don’t get me wrong, but we’re still here. And we’re happy.

      And you’ll find that person for you. 💖

  10. Jen says:

    A certain type of lowlife known as a narcissist, will often attract empathetic, smart, strong people through deceitful charm. They will idealise, devalue and then discard their victim for another. It is not a matter of the victim “choosing lowlives” or “having a bad picker”, rather they were deceived.

  11. oneday@atime says:

    I know a lot of us women are fixers. We believe we can take a damaged man and turn him into the man we want him to be and he will thank us for it. Often times, this is not the case though and they just end up taking advantage of us.

  12. vinnuella says:

    Time has come when ladies should believe on themselves and know that there is better life out side dating. Those kind of people are not ready to change rather they will continue with their character. It is left for the woman to think wise and take a move

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