Most bullies won’t overtly attack their targets because they don’t want to look bad in the eyes of bystanders and witnesses. However, they will do things to rattle the target in hopes that the target will attack them and, look like the bad guy, crazy, or paranoid.
Here are a few ways bullies do this:
1. Invade their personal space. Bullies may loom over their targets, standing over them- they get a little too close to the target, sometimes so.close that they’re physically touching them.
This is to provoke the target into hitting them or telling them to back off. Or The bullies want the target to attack them just so they can have a reason to physically fight the target.
2. They may accidentally on purpose run into the target, or brush past them. They may accidentally brush their hand against them because they’re spoiling for a fight but don’t want to out and out physically attack them and risk looking like the aggressor.
3. They may accidentally on purpose damage the target’s property. Then they’ll claim they did it by accident, knowing good and well they did it deliberately and hoping the target will react and risk looking bad in the eyes of other.
4. They may also loom the target’s sibling or best friend. If they can’t loom the target by subtle acts against him, they will try going after and subtly harassing or attacking someone the target cares about
5. They may give the target threatening looks from across a crowded room. And why not because who’s paying attention? The bully knows that, in a crowd, his subtle attacks are least likely to be noticed.
In order to counter these types of sneak attacks. You must be just as subtle and just as sneaky. For instance, when you see the bully glaring at you from across a crowded room. Mirror his behavior and return a hard, cold stare of your own. This let’s the bully know that you’re onto him and not easily intimidated.
I can deal with a bully that is obvious it is the subtle bullies that get to me. I was not bullied, mostly ignored, which in a way was worse.
I can understand that and my heart goes out to you. With me, being ignored hurt at first. However, it wasn’t long before I saw the advantages to that and felt a little relieved because I didn’t have to deal with drama. They weren’t in my face and I could get some peace then. But that was just me.