Last spring, I had the pleasure of interviewing another survivor of bullying, Aimee Eddy. But Aimee is more than a survivor, she is an overcomer, a winner, a CONQUEROR! I wanted to repost this because I wanted all who missed it the first time around to read her heartbreaking but inspiring story and be encouraged by it.
There are times when bullies aren’t only our peers but also the people we look up to for guidance and protection. Teachers can be bullies too. We look up to our teachers. We expect them to not only teach us but to protect and help mold us.
Here’s Aimee’s story:
For me, some of my teachers were monsters that ripped at me just like my own classmates. They judged me without getting to know me. They formed opinions about what they did not understand and placed a label on me.
My first experience with bullying started in first grade. In that grade, we are taught the beginnings of reading. I couldn’t pick up on that. While my other classmates were learning to sound out and read simple words I was unable to from the sound of letters.
When our teacher gave us a simple in classwork to do I was confused. I stared at the paper, but couldn’t figure out what to do. My raised hand went unseen so I turned to a friend for help. My teacher’s voice growled through my ears like a hungry wolf. “Ms. Eddy, I will not tolerate cheating.”
I tried to explain to her that I needed help, but she wouldn’t listen. No excuses were tolerated. I was told to move my desk to the corner. I would sit there until I learned not to cheat. My heart raced and tears threaten to spill. I could feel all my classmates’ eyes on me. All I wanted was to be helped and suddenly I was labeled a cheater in front of my whole class.
I moved my desk to the corner and sat there with my head hung low. I was too afraid to look at my teacher let alone my classmates. Then suddenly I felt the need to go to the bathroom.
How could I ask my teacher permission after she embarrassed me in front of my classmates? Would she yell at me again? But I really had to go. I crossed my legs and rocked back and forth. If I raise my hand, would she ignore it?
I looked over to the bathroom and there was a line. I had to form a plan. I watched my teacher carefully. She was busy grading papers. I got up and raced to the line.
I stood there with my head down and my legs crossed. Maybe she wouldn’t see me, but the line wasn’t moving. All I had to do is keep my head down and hope that she would not look up.
My teacher’s voice filled the room again. “Aimee, you didn’t get permission. Back to your desk.” I tried to explain to her that I really had to pee, but her finger pointed me back to my desk. I tried really hard to hold myself, but I couldn’t. It left a puddle under my chair.
I laid my head on my desk hoping no one would see. My soul sank and my heart pounded. I was so ashamed. Tears drizzled down my cheek and I quickly wiped them away. I couldn’t let anyone see me cry. My teacher’s awful voice, which I grew to hate, sent chills down my back. “What are you a retard? You can’t read, and you wet yourself.”
I wanted to hide. I wanted to go home and cry in my mom’s arms. Instead, I stood in front of my classmates and my friend with chills crawling down my back. Their eyes tore holes in my skin. Even though I couldn’t bring myself to look at them I knew inside they were laughing at me.
It was bad enough I was ashamed of wetting myself, but my teacher also called me a name. A name that soon followed me throughout my school years and a name I didn’t quite understand.
“Retard” soon became the definition of who I was. It ripped me apart and even made me question my own intelligence. It was at the end of first grade that I learned I had a learning disability. My disability only confirmed to my teachers and classmates that I was a “retard.”
I repeated first-grade and then was told I would be pushed through elementary.
That one incident started years of bullying not only from my teachers but also from my classmates. I was called dumb, retard, stupid, brainless, and many other names.
The name-calling nearly destroyed me. In high school, I decided to prove them wrong. During my senior year, I was inducted into the National Honors Society and went back to tutor a student for that first-grade teacher, who then was a fourth-grade teacher. I tutored the student in reading.
My first-grade experience was one of the most embarrassing and humiliating moments of my life, but I rose above it. I did spend years in therapy as an adult to overcome the abuse, but I rose above.
I am editing my memoir about how I was bullied and found acceptance at the family garage, I’m assistant director to the National Youth Internet Safety and Cyber-bullying Taskforce, I have stories published, and I have my own blog.
I have succeeded beyond what anyone had ever thought I could.
Hand writes “And the winner is…” on blackboard
I rose above bullying. I overcame the abuse and became a stronger and better person. You too can rise above bullying. If a teacher is putting you down tell someone. No one deserves to be abused by their peers or teachers. You are a unique person who deserves happiness. You can rise up from the anguish and shine like a star.
Aimee Eddy is an insightful overcomer who advocates for other strugglers. After conquering mental illness, bullying, cancer, and more, she has the life experience to encourage others through her writing. She is in the editing stages of her memoir, Escape to the Garage about her bullying experiences. She writes a blog called, Finding the Light at www.aimeeeddygross.wordpress.com
This is sad and how can a first grade teacher behave like this, most young children have poor bladder control and need to go quickly. How humiliating. The teacher really should have been reprimanded for such unprofessional behaviour. I am pleased she over came these horrors at school to succeed.
I totally agree. Today, that teacher would be in so much trouble- she’d be locked up! I think she’s lucky to have taught in the time period she did (70’s).
They would I knew quite a few teachers who were bullies throughout my schooling. Some bullied me and friends others had weird ways of discipline. Like making make of the girls who misbehaved kneel down in the corridor outside the class room and boys were caned or leather strap. All of it abusive.
Wow! Just WOW! Thats just terrible!
Thank you for your comment. First grade was only the start of bullying by teachers in my school years. I have written a memoir about my experiences and am in the process of editing it and preparing it for publication. We need to make bring awareness to everyone that teachers can be bullies too.
Aimee Eddy
I cant check your site you not reachable
What??? No way!
Don’t worry I found the link in your post actually wasn’t able to access through her WordPress icon
Gotcha! Thank you! 😊
My site is http://www.aimeeeddygross.wordpress.com
They certainly can be bullies, my second form maths teacher she was a bully someone had to collect her box of books from the staff room, the teacher just sat in the classroom and we worked our way through the chapters. Then did a test from another book. If we were late in getting her box it meant detention. One of her lessons was after PE and invariably we were late oh yes detention and did she have moods.
Oh today there are more complex types
They are just not straight bullying but a complaint against them they will make sure your child has tough time
Yep! I’ve seen that happen too. Bullies despise being reported, whether they’re a teacher or not and will misuse their power to make the targeted student suffer.
Thank you for your comment. Bullying is even worse in modern times with the internet and cell phones. While I was growing up we were just learning about computers and the internet. Very few people had them in their homes. We need to stand up against all kinds of bullying.
Aimee Eddy
I personal face such a issue with my daughter she was very young then and wasn’t that easy to deal I actually had to planned a lot to make her reality come to face of everybody
My heart goes out to your daughter. Because of the power dynamic, there’s no way students can protect themselves against a bullying teacher and what’s really infuriating is that the teacher KNOWS it and takes full advantage. Also, teachers bullying a student sets a danger precedent and sends the unspoken message to the rest of the class that it’s okay to bully that student and that there’ll be no consequences if they do. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I’m keeping your daughter in my thoughts.
Yes I never gave up I planned it so well they had to remove the teacher finally
It’s so good that they removed her. People like her have no business working with kids, who’s self-esteems are so fragile. I like reading about happy endings like this.
Unfortunately there are many teachers who are the worst bullies of all.
I couldn’t agree more.
Thank you for your comment. In my school years I wasn’t sure who were the worst bullies, my teachers or classmates. We need to bring awareness that teachers can be bullies too.
Yes we do!
This is awful, sad and inspiring all at the same time. Thanks for sharing ❤
You’re very welcome, Jessica. 🙂
I’m glad you found some inspiration in my story. We can rise above bullying. Bullying doesn’t have to destroy our lives. It took me a while to learn this. Thank you for your comment.
Aimee Eddy
True. I was a bullied too, but maybe not much of a victim because I fought back. Have a great day 🙂