Many targets who are bullied will ask their bullies why.
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Why me?”
“What did I ever do to you?”
Realize that these questions are pointless because, by asking these types of questions, the target is only reinforcing their role as victim and that’s not good. Also, a bully will never answer those questions and it’s because they can’t answer them. Even if they could answer them, they’d either never tell you, or they wouldn’t tell you the correct answer.
Remember that part of the bully’s power is to keep you guessing and asking these questions- to keep you confused and in the dark. And believe me, their silence on it speaks just as loudly as their words.
Again, bullies love to keep you guessing and trying to wrack your brain. That alone is power in and of itself. If bullies can keep you wondering, they can continue the behavior and they can do it without you catching on to the reality that they are really the ones with the problem and not you.
It’s best to look up articles and books on bullying to get the answers to your questions. I promise that you’ll get much better answers from these sources than you ever will from your bullies.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Very practical and helpful. It’s good to know to not ask a bully why they are targeting you. Thanks!
You’re most welcome. 😊
It’s a waste of breath to ask why. They will never tell the truth.
Exactly 💯
I confronted my bully when I was younger. I didn’t ask her why she did the things that she did to me but I did try to get some form of closure. She was incapable of providing that to me in fact she wouldn’t even admit that she had done the things that she did. It was at that moment that I realized that even though many years had passed… she was still the exact same person she was when she was with me in high school. THAT was what gave me the closure I needed to move on. The fact that it was engrained within her while I had moved past it. 💪🏻 another good one my talented friend!
Thank you so much, LaShelle. And I’m so glad you confronted her and got the closure you deserved. ❤️
Bullies themselves have no clue about the whys….
Absolutely they don’t! 💯 And if they did, they wouldn’t tell you anyway.
This is an important post! If that person is bullying you, asking them why is going to be used against you because they think they have you at that point. It makes them feel superior and may actually increase bullying. Though your intentions are often well-meaning they view it as weakness. It is hard if you are a non-aggressive person and there are times not saying anything or walking away is a good idea but you have to stand up for yourself and yes sometimes even put up your dukes. Fighting for yourself is far more effective than trying to reason with the unreasonable.
Absolutely! 💯 You can never reason with a bully.
I can understand now from this post.
It has happened and still happening.
I must be alert.
Your post is helping me in recognising the devil mind. A single devil is trying to dent me always.
Regards 🙏😊
I’m so glad this is helping you to know your bullies better! Because if you know your enemy, you can better counter them. 🙂
Yes I agree 😊🙏
If you ask a bully why, they will only say it’s your fault.
Absolutely, Michael! You’re absolutely right! BTW, I’ve completed our collaboration document and I’ve emailed the completed doc to you. If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know. 🙂
I haven’t received it. I’ve checked all my folders. Could you please resend?
Hey, Michael. It’s resent. 🙂
Very good advice, as always 😊😊
Thank you so much, Jim! 😀
😇😇
Excellent reminders. Thanks Cherie 🙂
Thank you so much, Liz! 🙂
Girl, don’t ask those jokers a doggone thing. They know why and deep down you do too. Just think about it. I often wondered why people did the things they did to me when they clearly had more materialistic things, better finances, fine homes and impressive job titles. However, God revealed to me that it was “good character” that they lacked. They couldn’t buy good character if it was on sale for FREE!!! 🤣😆😂 I had my why and I didn’t need to ask the question! Booyah!!! 🤜🏼🤛🏼
BOOM! Mic drop, girl! 💯💯💯 I’ve learned that bullies actually get agitated when they see someone who has good character, who’s down to earth, and comfortable in their own skin. They’re jealous of those qualities because they don’t have them. 😈😈😈So, they do their due diligence to destroy that person for having something that they don’t- an awesome personality. 💥
🎤🎤🎤 And there you go girlfriend! Booyah!!!
I love you, girl! You put the boom in the blogging! 💕💖😃
Nah, you do sweet thang!!! ✍🏼✍🏼✍🏼
🥰😍🥰😍
Hi! Agree we should walk away. It is a show of strength. Thanks too for stopping by my blog! Have a nice day!
You’re very welcome, Jeanne! And you’re right! 💕
To the point and great advice.
Thank you so much, Texas Jack! 😀
As you mentioned, the bully mustn’t know they have achieved their goal. This makes them stronger and make the bullied weaker! Thanks for sharing!
You’re most welcome. And you’re right! 💯🎯
Geest blog! I have written a book about bullying in sports. It’s good that bullying is getting attention. There is still too little attention for it.
I totally agree! 💯 And congratulations on your book, Bert! If your book is published, I’d be willing to order it! 😊
My book came out over five years ago and is still available from the publisher. The book is written in Dutch. It has recently been translated into English but am still looking for a good publisher.
Thank you, Bert. I hope you find a great publisher. And I believe you will. 😊
I hope so too Cherie
I believe you will, Bert. 😃
In your post you state bever ask a bully why and you use a word toxic to describe a bully.
I wrote a post about Putin be toxic and stated millions of people are wondering why he decided to invade Ukraine titled: Is Putin Smart, Savvy, and Toxic Conundrum?
You seem to be very knowledgeable on bullies. I wonder if you should write a post on Putin being a bully to perhaps help people understand or gain knowledge how to deal with whatever his real reason is for invading Ukraine.
Regards and goodwill blogging.
Thank you so much! 💖 I haven’t really kept up with the war in Ukraine or with Putin and Russia because I’ve stayed rather busy lately. I would need to do plenty of research on them but it’s an idea and I appreciate it.
I will look forward to your post.
Regards and goodwill blogging/
🤞🤞