To Understand and To Be Understood

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It’s one of the greatest human needs and that need isn’t being met when a target is bullied. Any time someone bullies you, your best weapon is to understand- understand the truth of why your bullies bully you, the tactics they use, and the benefits they get out of it.

At the same time, you need to be understood- to have your voice heard. You need to have people who’ve been where you are now. And you must have them surround you and know what you’re going through from their own experiences, so that they will be able to validate your feelings and emotions.

Here’s a truth you need to realize and remember: You will never come to any understanding with a bully. Never! And it’s simply because bullies are abusers and there’s no understanding or reasoning with an abuser.

Understand that bullies will only beat you down with brutal power-plays, manipulations, and gaslighting. They will only blame you for the battering of your own spirit. So, never try to get bullies to “understand” because those attempts will only be futile. Instead, avoid bullies at all costs!

Realize that if you go on trying to explain yourself and get bullies and abusers to understand you, the more they will abuse you by blaming you for their deplorable behavior.

Targets of bullying gradually lose their self-esteem and confidence. It happens so slowly you won’t realize it’s happening. And if you do, you won’t be aware of what’s causing it. Again, avoid your bullies altogether and find ways to keep them away from you.

I’m not saying you have to hide from them, but you definitely should avoid them. There is a difference.

You can do this by avoid any places the bullies may gather. Also, befriend other targets and establish your own little group. The bullies are less likely to come calling if they see that you have friends surrounding you.

Realize that other people who have been targets of bullying will understand your pain and they will be more likely to listen when you need to talk. They will be more likely to support you and they will more than likely have your back when your bullies come looking for trouble.

To be understood requires surrounding yourself with not only like-minded people, but people who have been where you are now. When you find others who have had the same experiences, you’re more likely to get understanding and, even better, support.

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