Why You Should Befriend Other Targets

The old saying that “birds of a feather flock together” rings true. The Law of Similarity dictates that in order to find good friendships, you must establish common ground. Understand that those who share the same activities, experiences, perspectives, and attitudes have a high probability of developing close friendships. Humans are naturally drawn to those who share mutual interests.

How targets make friends is to find like-minded people to bond with. And nothing bonds humans like a shared contempt for the same things, people, and groups. Therefore, developing connections with other targets is not only necessary but wise.

When a target finds others who have been bullied by the same bullies, it not only confirms that he isn’t alone in the fight, but it’s a juicy opportunity to make friends and allies. And these new friends just might back the target up the next time her bullies come calling.

Commonalities Attract

Also, it reinforces the fact that the target is not a bad person. It says that, despite what bullies and most others have told him, he can make friends. It sends the message that the target is a likeable person and automatically discredits the bullies. Therefore, having friends who share the same experiences is a real self-esteem booster.

When targets unite, they share sameness and, therefore, are least likely to face conflict with one another. Each target in the group finally feels understood.

Case in point, sameness will always attract people to one another. People tend to become friends with those most like themselves. When targets begin to associate with and create ties with others whom the bullies have targeted, they immediately establish common ground. It is this common ground which quickly develops rapport.

A “Target Rich Environment”

If you’re a target of bullying and you find it difficult to make friends, you can create a “target rich environment” for  yourself by staying among other targets.

I cannot say this enough- we develop the best friendships with those who resemble us the most. We’re attracted to people with the same desires and pursuits. If you can find common ground, developing a positive relationship will be a cake walk!

So, how do you know that there’s common ground before you even talk to the person?

You start by noticing how the person dresses. Are there any similarities? If the person is wearing a tee shirt with the logo or picture of a rock group you like, there’s shared interest. And if they only have a slight interest in the group, you, at least, share a love of rock and roll music.

What a person is doing also gives clues. Also, their posture also has many tells in it. For example, if a person is sitting at the lunch table alone, slumps in their chair, and doesn’t interact much with others, you know that they have low self-esteem. And low self-esteem comes from bullying and abuse. So, don’t be afraid to go over and talk to them. You just might be the friend they’re looking for!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Appreciation for Blogger Friends and Readers

Whew! 2021 has flown by, hasn’t it? Time seems to be moving so fast it’s almost scary! With 2022 just a week and a half away, I want to thank each and every one of you for making 2021 the best year yet at Chateau Cherie. Know that I appreciate you and all the good you bring to my little corner of the blogosphere. I’m grateful for your support and readership. Without you guys, this blog would never have gotten this far.

I always try to keep in mind that, when I write and post, it isn’t about me, it’s about you. Though I may share personal stories about myself from time to time, I share them as merely examples and never to toot my own horn. Yes, I’m a survivor and an overcomer but I never came through on my own, I only did it by the grace of God and a few awesome people who supported me during my worst times, and I try to keep that in the back of my mind.

And my blogger friends and readers are so important to me. This blog has grown to just over 2800 followers and although I’m so grateful for it and humbled by it, I will admit that I have problems quickly getting to everyone’s blogs to read. It’s getting more and more difficult to keep up with everyone’s posts due to time constraints and having other priorities of family, marriage, aging family members, and wifely household duties such as cooking and cleaning. If I could, I would definitely hire a few people to help me out. 😀

So, if you’re one of the blogger followers that I haven’t visited and read in a while, I just want to often my sincere apologies. But know this. It may take a while, but eventually, I will get to your blog and read your posts because I don’t only believe it’s the right thing to do, I also care about all of my readers and followers, which is why I make it a point to reciprocate their readership and support.

Blue Christmas background; Christmas composition with Xmas decoration on snow

Again, know that I appreciate each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart! And I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a happy, happy new year!

To Understand and To Be Understood

It’s one of the greatest human needs and that need isn’t being met when a target is bullied. Any time someone bullies you, your best weapon is to understand- understand the truth of why your bullies bully you, the tactics they use, and the benefits they get out of it.

At the same time, you need to be understood- to have your voice heard. You need to have people who’ve been where you are now. And you must have them surround you and know what you’re going through from their own experiences, so that they will be able to validate your feelings and emotions.

Here’s a truth you need to realize and remember: You will never come to any understanding with a bully. Never! And it’s simply because bullies are abusers and there’s no understanding or reasoning with an abuser.

Understand that bullies will only beat you down with brutal power-plays, manipulations, and gaslighting. They will only blame you for the battering of your own spirit. So, never try to get bullies to “understand” because those attempts will only be futile. Instead, avoid bullies at all costs!

Realize that if you go on trying to explain yourself and get bullies and abusers to understand you, the more they will abuse you by blaming you for their deplorable behavior.

Targets of bullying gradually lose their self-esteem and confidence. It happens so slowly you won’t realize it’s happening. And if you do, you won’t be aware of what’s causing it. Again, avoid your bullies altogether and find ways to keep them away from you.

I’m not saying you have to hide from them, but you definitely should avoid them. There is a difference.

You can do this by avoid any places the bullies may gather. Also, befriend other targets and establish your own little group. The bullies are less likely to come calling if they see that you have friends surrounding you.

Realize that other people who have been targets of bullying will understand your pain and they will be more likely to listen when you need to talk. They will be more likely to support you and they will more than likely have your back when your bullies come looking for trouble.

To be understood requires surrounding yourself with not only like-minded people, but people who have been where you are now. When you find others who have had the same experiences, you’re more likely to get understanding and, even better, support.