Bullies Objectify Their Targets

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In abusing their targets, bullies objectify them- they reduce their targets to things, mere instruments or tools to make use of and then discard until they need them again.

To objectify someone is to dehumanize them by degrading them to the status of a thing. Targets are treated like things rather than people. Just as male chauvinists and sexual perverts objectify women and girls, bullies do the same with their targets.

Here’s how bullies objectify their targets:

1.Bullies consciously or unconsciously believe they own their targets. And it shows in that they violate their targets’ boundaries- talking down to them, putting their hands on them to cause bodily harm, nosing through, taking, or destroying their targets’ belongings, grabbing their targets and physically moving them if they happen to be in the way, sitting in their chairs, and leaning on their cars. This conveys that the bully thinks they own the target, that the target has no boundaries nor rights, and, therefore, the bullies feel they have carte blanche to do anything they want to them.

2. Denial of freedom, autonomy, and self-determination. Bullies will strip their targets of personal freedom. They boss them around, telling them what to do and how they should conduct themselves. They coerce their targets to do what they want them to do. Bullies also use threats of physical harm to make their targets submit. From the bullies’ perspective, targets have no right to protest nor question their abuse.

3. An instrument. Bullies often use their targets as tools to fulfill their own agendas. An example would be to hate on the target in a group to solidify the bully pack and tighten bonds with one another as they are abusing the target.

4. Silencing their targets. Bullies render their targets voiceless by taking away their voice. They use fear and retribution to keep the target from speaking.

5. They deny their targets’ humanity. To be human is to have the right to choose, be free to pursue your own goals and outcomes, deciding what is and isn’t valuable, and discovering ways to promote what you value.

This is the difference between being human and being an inanimate object. Unlike inanimate objects, humans have dignity. Bullies deliberately take all this away. Bullies are never mindful of their targets’ humanity nor will they consider it. Therefore, the bullies purposefully break the target’s will and reduce them to mere objects of sadistic abuse.

When the bullies succeed in breaking the target’s will by force, they can then possess the target’s autonomy, and with it, their humanity. Once the target loses their humanity, the bullies can then mold them into a thing to be used.

There can be no equality and therefore, no reciprocation in the surrender of the target’s will and humanity to bullies.

The more we learn about the bully mindset, what makes bullies tick, and the inner workings of bullies, the more we will be able to protect our self-esteem, our dignity, and our overall right to live and thrive in this world.

Targets of Bullying and Depression

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Depression is the lowest point a target can be driven to. Targets of bullying who are depressed have been bullied and beaten down so much, for so long that they’ve progressed downward.

First, these targets were weakened and made to feel inadequate. As the bullying continued, and, more than likely escalated, they next began to feel helpless and hopeless. As time progressed as did the bullying, these targets were driven even lower until they felt resigned. And once they felt resigned, they then sank into depression.

Why is Depression so bad?

It’ because it comes from a feeling of powerlessness. When you feel as if you have power over nothing- when you feel as if your life has been set to autopilot, it’s the epitome of hell on earth.

A depressed target doesn’t fight back because he/she has been worn down. Therefore, they resign themselves after so long. The target has been knocked down by his bullies (and life in general) too many times and they’ve finally given up. The target feels that no matter what he does and how hard he tries to remedy his circumstances, life only comes at him that much harder through his bullies.

Once a target of bullying reaches the point of severe depression, he loses the will to fight. For example, a bully will insult him, and the target will only become more depressed instead of angry. The reason for this is that the target has been brainwashed over time, by repeated and relentless attacks, to believe that he somehow deserves it, can do nothing about it, and is at the mercy of his bullies.

Bullies love picking on the depressed because they’re least likely to push back. Depressed targets see the bullying they suffer as proof of how undesirable and undeserving of happiness they are.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

Understand that people who are depressed have already been diminished, so, the bullies don’t have to work so hard to bring them down. That work has already been accomplished. Therefore, all the bullies have to do is keep the target diminished. After all, it’s much easier (and a lot less time consuming) to keep someone down than it is to bring them down. It’s always easier to maintain something than to change it.

Depressed targets have often been run over by so may people that their interactions with others leave them with the belief that they’re inferior to everybody. They have such a sense of inferiority and undesirability and they often misinterpret gestures from others.

They mistake a genuine smile for pity, neutrality for aloofness, and a frown for rejection or contempt.

Targets who are depressed consciously or subconsciously berate themselves because the bullying and abuse they’ve suffered for so long and, in many cases, still suffer, has reshaped their thinking, feelings, self-evaluations, and self-belief.

I tell you these things because I was there once, and it was the lowest point of my life. And this post is for those who DO NOT understand what bullying can do and who DON’T understand depression and the sheer hell of it. Many people have been there, they understand. But sadly, there are also many who’ve never battled it and don’t understand it.

The effects of bullying and the depression it brings is heartbreaking because the target has been broken and may either remain that way, or spend years, even decades, mending and healing. But know that the target can heal.

Understand that this may require a lot of therapy, but they can reprogram themselves to regain their confidence and feel good again. They can take their lives back.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be hard, even exhausting at times, but will be worth it later. If you are battling depression brought about by bullying, or anything else, such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, accident, injury, or any traumatic event, know that there are people who care and can help you. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay.

I’m sending warm and loving thoughts and prayers your way!

How I Knew I Had Healed from Bullying

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When I could talk about and better yet, write about the bullying I had suffered and be open and honest about how it made me feel without feeling ashamed or embarrassed, that’s when I knew I had healed.

I also discovered some positive takeaways, such as wisdom, a sharper people sense, and an ability to detect lies and sense bad intentions. I also developed a determination to put my needs first and to say no. In short, I discovered the value of self-care.

I now realize that the bullying I suffered back then was only ensuring that I wouldn’t be a target later because it was teaching me exactly what to watch out for in other people. But even better, it was setting me on the path I was meant to be on. It was paving the way for me to help others!

Anytime we haven’t healed from trauma, we tend to bury it and deny it ever happened. We pretend we’re stronger than what we are, and we act as if we’re someone we aren’t. We run from it rather than admit what happened to us and how it changed our lives.

Healing isn’t easy because to heal requires that we feel the pain. We must allow ourselves to go through emotions that aren’t comfortable and that make us feel vulnerable and out of control. That’s the most difficult part. We must admit to ourselves that our bullies and abusers made us feel weak. Understand that this process will take time. It will not happen quickly. It may even take years.

But in the end, it will be worth it because once the pain and feelings of vulnerability are dealt with and begin to subside, we can move on and get our lives back. We can finally attain the happiness we deserve.

In fact, we can use what we endured to help someone else who is currently suffering the same scourge and there’s nothing more rewarding!

This is what makes us not only survivors, but overcomers, winners, conquerors!

So, know that you can escape bullying. You can heal, and you can overcome! You too can become a conqueror! Please hold on to hope!

Determined Bullies: Why They Hate It When You Counter Their Attacks

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It’s because any time you counter a bully, not only do you restore your self-esteem, but you also restore the balance of power. In other words, you take back your personal power, the very thing your bullies are trying to take away from you.

This puts bullies in panic mode because they feel that if they lose power over the target, they’ll then lose power over everyone and everything. To further break this down, the bullies are afraid they will lose face, and with that, they will lose respect, credibility, allies, and support. Then, they will become the bullied.

Bullies have an obsessive fear of going from hunters to the hunted. And why not? You aren’t the only person they’ve bullied. There were many others before you and bullies know all too well that most normal people hate people like them, and love to see them get what’s coming to them.

Everyone loves to see a bully get brought down and once a bully is brought down, no one will ever allow them to get up again, to put it figuratively.

This is why bullies will pull out all the stops to keep their targets under their control. If the bullies cannot control their targets, they control nothing. Most people are still under the presumption that targets are weak and if a bully can no longer dominate the target others will see that and the bully will be at everyone else’s mercy.

Others will look at the failed bully and think, “Wow! If he can’t handle a wimp like him (the target) then he really couldn’t handle me! This is a juicy opportunity! I can punk this creep out so easily!”

The bully then becomes the new man on the bottom. Gasp! Because if you can’t overpower the person who’s deemed the weakest link in the bunch, then you become the new weakest link! Ouch! Talk about a humbling situation!

Therefore, the bully retaliates against the target for daring to stand their ground and assert their basic rights, the target counters again, and the bully only hates the target that much more. And with each provocation from the bully and each counter the target delivers- each wise crack, each sarcastic comeback, each clever witticism the target returns, the more determined the bully is to tip the scales of power back in his favor and save face.

With the target’s counter jab comes pain and humiliation for the bully and the human reflex is always to punish or eliminate the cause of that pain and humiliation. And the punishment can come in psychological or physical form.

When a target stands up to a bully, the bully feels stripped of power because the target just upset that power imbalance and took back her power. Therefore, the bully retaliates to restore the power imbalance and retake the target’s personal power.

In cases like these, targets have two choices, either keep fighting back with counterattacks or give up and feel even worse about themselves later. And most targets who’ve had enough will keep fighting until the bully gives up and leaves them alone.

And I would encourage them to do so because, eventually, bullies will give up after being humiliated so many times, then they’ll slink off with their tails between their legs and find another person to dominate. Remember that bullies must always have a victim. It’s sad and pathetic but it’s true. But all you should concern yourself with at this point is that they leave you alone. Then later, once you heal and recover from the exchange, you can help the new target.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Attaining Happiness

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Happiness isn’t a one-size fits all. I believe the reason why people have such a hard time reaching happiness is because they’re under the assumption that happiness is about having truckloads of money, having the perfect body, living in a big mansion, and being popular. Granted, those things are nice, but it won’t win you happiness.

The truth is that happiness is different things to different people. Some people find happiness in going fishing, hunting, boating, camping- enjoying the outdoors. Others find happiness in arts, crafts, and woodwork.

One person may be like me, find their happiness in their family, writing books, blogging, music, and sitting in their backyard swing with their pets but another person may find happiness in shopping, going to concerts and visiting museums. Some may even find happiness at work.

Happiness boils down to finding things you enjoy doing and doing it, and, if you feel you don’t have time to do one of your hobbies, try to make time for it. It’s also about enjoying relationships with the ones you love and enjoying nature.

It’s the simple things in life that make you happy and it’s free to anyone who wants it. Realize that it’s often the little things that mean so much.

To Understand and To Be Understood

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It’s one of the greatest human needs and that need isn’t being met when a target is bullied. Any time someone bullies you, your best weapon is to understand- understand the truth of why your bullies bully you, the tactics they use, and the benefits they get out of it.

At the same time, you need to be understood- to have your voice heard. You need to have people who’ve been where you are now. And you must have them surround you and know what you’re going through from their own experiences, so that they will be able to validate your feelings and emotions.

Here’s a truth you need to realize and remember: You will never come to any understanding with a bully. Never! And it’s simply because bullies are abusers and there’s no understanding or reasoning with an abuser.

Understand that bullies will only beat you down with brutal power-plays, manipulations, and gaslighting. They will only blame you for the battering of your own spirit. So, never try to get bullies to “understand” because those attempts will only be futile. Instead, avoid bullies at all costs!

Realize that if you go on trying to explain yourself and get bullies and abusers to understand you, the more they will abuse you by blaming you for their deplorable behavior.

Targets of bullying gradually lose their self-esteem and confidence. It happens so slowly you won’t realize it’s happening. And if you do, you won’t be aware of what’s causing it. Again, avoid your bullies altogether and find ways to keep them away from you.

I’m not saying you have to hide from them, but you definitely should avoid them. There is a difference.

You can do this by avoid any places the bullies may gather. Also, befriend other targets and establish your own little group. The bullies are less likely to come calling if they see that you have friends surrounding you.

Realize that other people who have been targets of bullying will understand your pain and they will be more likely to listen when you need to talk. They will be more likely to support you and they will more than likely have your back when your bullies come looking for trouble.

To be understood requires surrounding yourself with not only like-minded people, but people who have been where you are now. When you find others who have had the same experiences, you’re more likely to get understanding and, even better, support.

“Get Over It!”

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Studio shot of playful disobedient adult son in red t-shirt, covering ears with index finger and saying lalala while wanting mom get mad, standing indifferent to argue, being impolite and childish.

“Get over it!”

“Let it go!”

“Forget about it!”

How many of you have been told to do either of these? As if you could just wiggle your nose and everything is peachy king. When you’ve been abused, you cannot just let it go. Healing takes time.

The emotions you feel won’t just go away. Even if you paint a smile on your face and pretend that nothing’s wrong, these feelings will still be there, simmering under the surface, and the more you try to stuff them down and bury them, the more damage it will cause.

Understand that the emotions you’re feeling are there for a reason. They warn you that something isn’t right. Realize that the anger and hurt doesn’t disappear overnight and the people who give you that kind of response are ignorant and only re-abuse you when they demand that you “get over it.”

In order to heal and get your life back again, you must allow yourself to feel those raw emotions. No, it isn’t comfortable. No one wants to feel pain. But you must go through it to come out on the other side of it. And while you’re moving through the pain, practice self-care.

Give yourself some TLC. Have self-compassion. It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to baby yourself.

Take a few days off. Lounge around the house in your pajamas if you want to. Eat your favorite treat or give yourself a good, sweaty workout. Treat yourself to a spa-day, facial, new do, or a beach vacation. Your first priority is self-care, whatever it may be for you.

Last and most important, don’t shut up! Keep speaking out and standing in your truth. Self-care also means being your own advocate and if people don’t like it, too bad.

Put yourself first!

Would You Want to Be a Boss or a Leader?

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There is a huge difference between a boss and a leader. I have had several bosses but not that many true leaders. Here is the difference between the two.

A boss is a demanding blowhard. He/She is bent on power and loves to lord it over the subordinates. He expects them to bow down. He is a bully and uses intimidation, threats, and force to get his employees to do what he wants.

She has to literally make her subordinates carry out her wishes because although they would never tell her, the subordinates secretly do not respect her and naturally resist her demands.

A Leader is sincere and is a team player. He works with subordinates to get the job done and get it done correctly. He is never a show-off and doesn’t toot his/her own horn.

She treats her subordinates with respect because she knows that she must treat them with respect and kindness to get the cooperation she needs.

A Boss browbeats and degrades his workers when they make a mistake. He’s arrogant and lets his position go to his head.

A Leader is down to earth. He addresses the employee who made the error yet gives that person positive reinforcement or constructive criticism. He gets his point across simply by having a great attitude toward his workers and being calm and level-headed. A leader refers to his subordinates as “people I work with.” Notice the word “with.”

A Leader will work with you. A Boss will make sure the whole company knows that he is “over” you.

A Leader is strong, competent, and has impeccable people skills.

A Boss is a weak windbag and bumbling idiot who has to trumpet his own importance and authority to get others to notice, and it often has an undesired outcome.

A Leader will roll up his sleeves and help his people when a task is overwhelming. He doesn’t mind hard work. He will help you out when you’re having difficulty completing a task, and he will work just as hard as you to help you finish the job.

A Boss is useless and lazy. He will only stand over you like a slave master, barking orders and watching you struggle. And he will do it complete with arms folded across the chest, legs wide apart, and a sour look or smirk on the face. He may even secretly take pleasure in seeing the subordinates struggle.

People are drawn to leaders, enjoy working with them, and love them. On the other hand, people despise bosses and will cross a busy street if necessary, to avoid them.

People are also more than happy to do what the leader wants because they always make them feel valued. The leader naturally has others eating out of his hand with minimal effort. In contrast, the boss only gets resistance from others, and people will do the exact opposite of what he wants because the boss makes people feel low and taken advantage of.

A boss isn’t even an afterthought to others, but a leader is unforgettable. A boss is a schmuck! A leader is a champion!

Bosses come a dime a dozen, but Leaders are very few and far between.

Anybody can be a boss, but it takes an exceptional individual to be a leader.

So, which would you prefer to work for? A boss or a leader? Better yet, which would you rather be? A boss or a leader?

Who Are the Real Bullies?

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If you want to know who the real bully is, ask yourself these questions:

“Who has the most power?”

“Who has the most social capital?”

But most importantly, ask yourself these questions:

“Who are the people no one is allowed to criticize?”

“Who are the people everyone is AFRAID to criticize or even question?”

“Who are the sacred cows- the people who seem to be untouchable and beyond reproach?”

“Who can openly inflict abuse on people and get away with it?”

If you can answer these questions honestly, you know who the bullies are.

Targets and Survivors of Bullying and Self-Defeating Behavior

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Targets and many survivors of bullying have self-esteems that have been repeatedly injured, and when one’s self-esteem is injured, sometimes they will have trouble making friends and attracting suitors for dates and romance.

This can be because of two things, the person either becomes angry because they feel they were judged unfairly, or they resign themselves as social failures and withdraw.

The anger helps to protect the target’s self-esteem. Moreover, the target’s anger is heightened due to having been programmed by bad life experiences to sometimes mistake comments for insults.

If it’s constructive criticism, the target may wonder if the person doing the criticizing is trying to help them or only trying to show them that they’re smarter or implying that he (the target) is stupid.

Many targets are bullied for so long that their social development has been stunted. Therefore, many targets and survivors may be successful in everything except relationships with others. This is because they’ve been made to believe that they’re unlovable and thus, don’t trust anyone else when they show them affection and profess love.

These people only see other people’s attempts at love and friendship as manipulation because it’s what they’ve come to expect.

Many targets and survivors of bullying are often looked at as standoffish, stuck-up, or snobbish because they feel safer keeping other people at arm’s length. Because of this arm’s-length approach to social situations, people see the target or survivor of bullying as being wrapped up in themselves when, in fact, they’re insecure because of mistreatment they endure.

The unspoken message from the person is “don’t get too close” and it comes from their fear of being rejected, hurt, and worse- bullied again. So, they put on a cool front to hide their nervousness.

On top of being bullied by peers, many targets and survivors have or have had a parent overcriticize and belittle them, which only doubles the insecurity. So, they find it much safer to overprotect themselves and build a wall to keep potential enemies out. They go out of their way to avoid exposing themselves to rejection, and thus, appear to others as cold and detached.

Like anyone else, targets and survivors desire love, and they have a bigger desire for it than most. However, their intense fear of being bullied blocks them from getting that love because to get love requires a degree of vulnerability.

Being able to enjoy friendship, love, and affection means letting down your guard and taking risks. Sadly, many targets and survivors are too afraid to lower their defenses.

If this post describes you, I want you to know that I completely understand because I’ve been right where you are now. However, I can’t stress enough the importance and necessity of putting yourself out there and taking the risk.

To see positive change, you must shed this protective armor if you want to attain the friendship and love you so desire. Because the self-protective measures that you have taken are exactly what is repelling others and keeping you isolated. Being aloof and distant may indeed feel safe, but it’s also self-defeating because it keeps love out.

So, step out in faith and I promise you that you will see change you never thought possible. You’ll have good friends who will love you for simply being you. Hey! It happened for me and it will happen for you too!

😊

There Are Benefits to Not Belonging to a Clique

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Too many people put entirely too much importance on belonging to a certain clique. However, I want to assure you that you’re not defined by whether they are a member of one and why you’re so much better off.

There is something to be said for not belonging to any particular group because it allows you to have a great degree of freedom. Anytime you are a member of a clique, club, or group, some restrictions come with it, one of which is the unwritten rule against associating with anyone outside of that circle.

More often than not, if a member is caught talking to an “outsider,” that person runs the risk of being ostracized and ousted by the other members. In my experience, it just wasn’t and still isn’t worth being prevented from meeting new and possibly interesting and awesome people.

confident blonde teen standing in front of the clique

Also, by not belonging to a clique, you are afforded the freedom to think freely. When you are a member of a circle, your beliefs, attitudes, and opinions will most likely have to be the same as those in your group. If they aren’t, you risk being kicked out and/or worse, bullied.

Any unwritten rule that forbids you to associate with anyone outside of a group is utter hogwash! There is no reason why you should not be able to associate with anyone you choose. Also, no two people are the same, and you should be free to have your own opinions, beliefs, and attitudes. Do what makes YOU happy. Stop trying to please or impress your “friends.” Because if you have to suppress yourself to have or keep friends, these people are not friends.

freedom

Therefore, never allow a clique or your desire to be a part of one cause you to pass up opportunities to get to know great people, who might someday prove to be wonderful assets to your life!

And never allow others to restrict you from being your authentic self! If the clique cannot respect and accept your individuality, then you must ask yourself, “Are these people really worth my time?”

Bullied? Whatever You Do, Don’t Wallow in Self-Pity.

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It all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice, not something that magically happens to only certain people.

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to get angry. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you, humanity, and especially yourself! Know that bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. Although I realize that this is not always easy.

Understand that your bullies are cowards and fighting demons of their own, albeit the wrong way, and their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are. Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto their targets to keep other people from seeing theirs. It’s pathetic when you think real hard about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate. They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a guide. Understand that bullies bully out of only, fear and insecurity!

Child abuse with the eye of a young boy or girl with a single tear crying due to the fear of violence or depression caused by hunger and poverty and being afraid of bullying at school.

So, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself because self-pity is so unattractive and socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake, and the only thing it did was bring more misery and repel people. So I tried something different. I began countering everything with comebacks, affirmations, and positive thoughts.

Only when you begin to counter your bullies’ statements will their words not have as significant of an effect on your self-esteem. In other words, your new, positive self-talk will become a buffer to the bullies’ insults and name-calling, and you won’t be nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

Remember that no matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you are the best thing God created. That you are the best, and sometimes, the best are the ones who get mistreated. If you must have this self-talk every minute of every day, then do it because any positive internal dialogue has to be consistent to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk and praising yourself for all your good qualities and know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you. Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions.

You’re worth it! Don’t you think?

Another Weapon Bullies Can Use Is Your Predictability

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Being predictable is dangerous. Because if a bully can predict your reaction or your next move, it’s game over. Remember that bullies are very socially intelligent, and they tend to spot behavior patterns in their victims.

Bullies carefully observe a potential target, looking for any patterns of behavior, habits, and weaknesses. They closely monitor your reactions to everything, what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what excites you. They scrutinize the way you do things, even the way you arrange objects.

They study your moods, body language, and expressions to feel out your emotional state. And in observing you, bullies leave no stone unturned.

Bullies are like bank robbers who case out a bank before pulling off the heist. The robbers get the bank’s layout, search for any vulnerabilities in the security system, and look for any patterns of patrols and the comings and goings there.

Is it any wonder that being targeted for bullying can feel like being under a microscope? Like you’re being watched? It’s because you are!

Being too predictable is unwise when you’re bullied. Instead, make it a point to be unpredictable. Be as fluid with every as you possibly can. I know it won’t be easy because we’re all creatures of habit. It’s going to take work.

But understand that bullies fear a fluid person and will leave him/her alone if they aren’t sure how they’ll react. So, try new things every day, in everything. It will surely pay off!

The more you know, the better your defense.

Cancel Culture Only Breeds Cyber-Bullies Who Are Twice as Dangerous

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Cancel Culture is just the newest and a fancier name for cyber-bullying. People often say that it was intended for the purpose of shaming racists. And maybe it was intended that way. However, as the old saying goes, “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” And it’s definitely true when it comes to cancel culture.

What cancel culture does is give cyber-bullies a green light to bully anyone they deem unworthy of existing on this green earth. It only breeds cyber-bullies who are more dangerous. It even breeds cyber-criminals!

Many celebrities have been cancelled. However, they’re already rich and set for life. Stars already have a nest egg of tens of millions of dollars to fall back on, if they ever get canceled. Therefore, cancel culture won’t affect them like it would a normal, everyday person with a job, bills, and a family to feed.

Normal, everyday people are the ones who suffer the most when they are canceled. And they’re the ones cyber-bullies love to drag through the mud because, as mentioned, they don’t have much of a financial cushion to rest on. Therefore, cyber-bullies will come after them before they will those who are already set.

Why? Because they want their attacks to have the maximum negative effect, so they will most likely pick people who don’t have the wherewithal to protect themselves, their families, and their assets.

Cancel culture has only groomed cyber-bullies who are twice as dangerous as earlier cyber-bullies.

As if the incendiary comments, criticism, public shaming, threats of physical violence and death aren’t bad enough, cyber-bullies are more than willing to go to extreme lengths to destroy people’s lives. Nowadays, many cyber-bullies will dox their target. They will find out where the target works or goes to school, where the target lives, who the target’s friends and family are. These cyber-bullies are the most dangerous because they get the target’s information with plans to do evil things with it.

Many targets of cancel culture cyber-bullying have had people call their places of employment and gotten them fired. Cyber-bullies have gotten their targets kicked out of school, and even shown at the target’s houses, broke in, and beat their target within an inch of their lives. A few targets have even been murdered or driven to suicide.

Many cancel culture bullies have even gone after the target’s families and friends either when they couldn’t find the target, or after they were done with the target. This kind of cyber-bullying is especially terrifying because it puts people and their loved ones in grave danger!

It’s so sad that there are so many people nowadays with this much vileness and hate eating away at their souls. I’ve been on twitter and I’ve seen so much hate directed at a lot of innocent people- comments such as,

“You have such a punchable face,”

“People like you need to hurry up and die off,”

“I want to break into your house and rape your wife and daughter,”

“You don’t belong on our planet,”

And the worst comment I’ve ever seen, which was directed toward a CEO of a small company:

“We won’t stop at killing you, we’ll kill your family too and destroy your entire bloodline!”

I could actually feel the intense hatred in each comment as I read them. And the people that post this kind of stuff? You can tell that they’re in such a bad place- a horrible place! A place I never want to be in, and I kid you not, some of the vitriol on that platform will leave you speechless!

I’m no longer on Twitter. I deleted my account last year because it seemed that everywhere I looked, I saw a slush pile of hate. I didn’t have a lot of followers on Twitter, so I was just a little fish in a huge pond who nobody was interested in cyber-bullying. Lucky me- and I say it in all seriousness!

I’m so glad I got out of that cesspool when I did!

(Continued in Part 2…)

We All Need a Little Space

22 Comments

Many targets of bullying are afraid of being by themselves because they’re under the false belief that if you spend even a day by yourself, it means that there is something wrong with you. ‘Taint so!

Being alone is not always a bad thing. Solitude can be so good for you. We all need that “me-time”- some time to ourselves to chill and recharge our batteries. Trust me, I know what it’s like to never get any time to myself and to always have someone under my butt and it sucks after a while. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy other people’s company just as much as the next person, but not when it’s never-ending.

I have to have my quiet time. I enjoy the me-time I get while my husband is away at work. The house is quiet, and I can get some ideas flowing and some writing done.

On the days I don’t write, I can boogie down to some good loud music while doing my housework or go for a walk on a beautiful day. There’s nothing like sweet solitude!

So, don’t be afraid to be alone. Embrace it! You’ll be surprised at how refreshed you feel after you’ve had your private time.

With knowledge comes empowerment.