Too many people put entirely too much importance on belonging to a certain clique. However, I want to assure you that you’re not defined by whether they are a member of one and why you’re so much better off.
There is something to be said for not belonging to any particular group because it allows you to have a great degree of freedom. Anytime you are a member of a clique, club, or group, some restrictions come with it, one of which is the unwritten rule against associating with anyone outside of that circle.
More often than not, if a member is caught talking to an “outsider,” that person runs the risk of being ostracized and ousted by the other members. In my experience, it just wasn’t and still isn’t worth being prevented from meeting new and possibly interesting and awesome people.
confident blonde teen standing in front of the clique
Also, by not belonging to a clique, you are afforded the freedom to think freely. When you are a member of a circle, your beliefs, attitudes, and opinions will most likely have to be the same as those in your group. If they aren’t, you risk being kicked out and/or worse, bullied.
Any unwritten rule that forbids you to associate with anyone outside of a group is utter hogwash! There is no reason why you should not be able to associate with anyone you choose. Also, no two people are the same, and you should be free to have your own opinions, beliefs, and attitudes. Do what makes YOU happy. Stop trying to please or impress your “friends.” Because if you have to suppress yourself to have or keep friends, these people are not friends.
Therefore, never allow a clique or your desire to be a part of one cause you to pass up opportunities to get to know great people, who might someday prove to be wonderful assets to your life!
And never allow others to restrict you from being your authentic self! If the clique cannot respect and accept your individuality, then you must ask yourself, “Are these people really worth my time?”
I guess I was lucky enough to have friends from several grades and of a variety of types. It payed off being “odd” because I was free to mingle. You can’t over state the benefits of being able to choose friends based on individuality instead of a pre-fab clique!
It sounds like you were secure enough in yourself that you didn’t define yourself by any cliques. I’m so proud of you. And you nailed it with that last line in your comment! 🙂
I love not belonging to a clique… although it does get lonely sometimes.
You’re right, it can get lonely sometimes, but the benefits outweigh the cons by far! I love not belonging to a clique too, and I didn’t belong to one in high school either. I’m proud of that. 🙂
I was kind of off on my own in high school, I spent most of my lunches sitting alone doing homework until late junior year, when I started hanging out with some of the people who also took a lot of honors and AP classes. But by then, it seems like I was also on friendly terms with a lot of the student government and student activities kids, because they were the other half of the honors and AP classes (whether or not they would be considered popular depends on one’s perspective, but some of them were athletes and cheerleaders so there’s that). When I went to our last reunion in 2014, not a whole lot of people showed up, but the ones who did were from all sorts of different so-called cliques, and everyone got along. I know not everyone has the same perspective as me, but it seemed like my class in general wasn’t as cliquish as the stereotype of high school reunions would suggest.
Some classes are better than others, Greg. It sounds like they finally accepted you during your junior year and that’s awesome! And I’m glad you had a great time at your reunion! 🙂
I think loss of freedom, and loss of the ability to see things objectively, is one of the greatest costs of being in a clique.
Absolutely it is, Greg! I think you and I definitely think alike! 😀
I think you should send this to both the Democrat and Republican parties. I think everyone should reconsider the damage division causes in human relations. If we could only agree to be human together…
You said that so perfectly! I totally agree with everything you say here! <3
Spot on, not associating with any one group got me through high school unscathed. Because I was non-judgmental, individuals from all the groups were free to associate with me.
Thank you so much, Michael! I’m so glad you were able to mingle. 🙂