I don’t want to imagine where I’d be if I never healed from the bullying I suffered in the past. It’s not something l like to think about and it isn’t something I enjoy bringing up. However, I feel I’d be doing you a huge disservice if I didn’t.
If you were bullied at some point and you did the inner work and healed from it, you are one of the lucky blessed and I extend my congratulations to you.
But sadly, many survivors of bullying never heal, and I can only feel terrible for them. Because these people go their entire lives, dragging so much pinned up anger, resentment, sadness, and depression with them. Those emotions tend to fester into powerlessness- they simply don’t know what to do to make their lives better and achieve happiness and prosperity. Others only let it make them unfeeling and uncaring- and this second set of survivors often find prosperity and success, but they don’t find happiness.
So, what do these unhealed survivors do end up doing and where do they end up?
1. They join gangs. Many times, when a person has been bullied and hasn’t healed, they often join to get the sense of friendship, unity, belonging, and empowerment they were for so long denied. In a gang, these survivors are ensured protection from further bullying. And they use fear to get that protection.
2. They join extremist groups. Because these survivors were bullied terribly and never healed from it, they often feel a sense of unfairness and injustice. So, they take up a cause. Don’t get me wrong. Taking up a cause can be a wonderful and constructive way to deal with pain and trauma. But extremist groups are never good because they have a tendency for violence. In joining extremist groups, survivors also get the friendship, support, alliance, and power they couldn’t get before.
Interior of cell block in abandoned State Correctional Institution, or jail., common room with jail cel
3. They end up in jail. Remember a few posts back, when I mentioned that anyone who is consistently told they’re bad, crazy, or evil will begin to exhibit behavior which matches the labels? When people are made to feel that they’re horrible people, they may go out and commit crimes either to get attention or because they feel they’re owed for all the bullying they suffered.
4. They become workaholics. In the past, they were bullied and made to feel powerless. So, they work like dogs to make lots of money because they feel that having lots of money gives them enormous power. We all need to work, but to work all the time and not have time to rest or for play isn’t healthy.
5. They get into drug abuse. Many become drug addicts and alcoholics to quell the PTSD, trauma, sadness, and depression that is brought about by bullying. Instead of seeking the right kind of help, they self-medicate.
Understand that healing from bullying is a must if you want to go on to a happy and peaceful life and that sometimes, healing means seeking therapy. Healing and getting closure take a lot of work. But I promise that if you get the help and put in the inner work needed, it’ll be so worth it in the end!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Joining the big 5 is not the way. Lets hope some heed the message.
Thank you so much, Darnell! 💪
Very important post Cherie! Yes, healing from being bullied, is a must if you want to have a happy life going forward. I allowed myself to live in misery for way too long, feeling like I had no way out of the nightmare I was in, giving in to other people’s wants. I had to put my foot down, say no more, and found a way out of that environment. I got help too, from a really nice doctor who understood PTSD and narcissism. Education is so very important. Stand up for yourself, get the help you need, do it for you. You won’t regret it.
Amen, Stella! 💯💯💯Thank you so much for your lovely comment and for sharing your experiences with us! You are such a brave lady! 💖🌺🌹
Cherie, I”m very glad you did your ‘inner work’ and healed yourself. Hopefully your blogs are now helping others to heal.
Thank you so much, Jeanne! 💖🌺🌹Much appreciated!
kill the pain
Healing is important. Thank you for sharing.
You’re most welcome, Molly! 💖
That is why those that claim bullying is a rite of passage miss the boat badly. Some people are truly destroyed and affected for the rest of their lives which is why we must help them and not he afraid to stand up to those who bully.
You’re absolutely right on everything you mentioned! Thank you so much for your input! ❤️🌺🌷
Such gifts to others Cherie!! 💖
Thank you so much, Cindy! 💖
I don’t see fat on there?
Well, people can turn to food for comfort. I didn’t think about that. Thank you so much for the reminder. ❤️🌺🌷
Spot on 😌😔😔😔
Thank you so much! 😊You don’t know how much your feedback is appreciated!
An informative post. Thank you for sharing!
You’re most welcome! And thank you! 😊 💖