As an activist in the Bullying Awareness Movement, I’ve had many adult survivors of school bullying ask me whether they should send their children to the same school where they were bullied themselves as children and teens. Naturally, my response is a “No!” – or more appropriately, an emphatic “HELL NO!”
Having been a target of bullying from grade six until I finally escaped through a school transfer, I decided during my pregnancy with my first child, that should we ever have to move back to the town I was bullied in, hell would freeze before my children would grace the halls of the schools there.
“What parent worth their own salt would subject their children to that kind of learning environment if they could help it?”
Here are my reasons for keeping my kids clear of *Oakley Schools:
1. Bullies tend to take jobs that give them authority (Teaching, Law Enforcement, Corrections Officer, Supervisor, etc.). I knew that by the time my babies reached school age, many of my former bullies would probably be teachers in the small town where I had been a victim (teaching is the second-highest profession for workplace bullying and teachers who bully other teachers are likely to bully students too).
2. In most small Southern towns, such as the town in which I was victimized, the mentality is this:
“If we hate you, we will hate your children even more.”
Because they had targeted me in the past, it was a safe bet that upon their finding out who my children’s mother was, they would target my babies as well, if not worse. Anytime you are or have been a victim of bullies, anything (or anyone) you love and care about is always fair game to them. If they come for you, they will come for those you love also.
I realize that in this day and age of progress and advanced technology, this may sound a little “Hatfield and McCoy” but things like this do happen and more so than we know.
Every situation is unique and everyone has different experiences. So, again I ask you, Would you send your kids to the same school you were bullied in?
Feel free to comment below.
(*not the real name of the school district)
Wow, I can’t believe there are such things in the small town of U.S. How many people in that town by the way? Are there no other schools to go in the same town? What if people are not able to escape from the small town such as financial problem or other issues.
There is. But they’re indirect with it. They don’t make it obvious. But there are a few teachers who would use humiliation and passive-aggressive bullying to humiliate students they don’t like.
Indeed. It’s better to leave the bullying environment for children, after all it’s not good for the mental health.
Amen on that!
Interesting. I never thought of this… mostly because I knew that I never wanted to move back to Santa Lucia County anyway for other reasons, and then life ended up happening in a way that I never had kids. But it totally makes sense.
Thank you, Greg. Thankfully, my kids never went to Oakley schools.
NO. WAY.
I am glad I was never faced with that question. It is troubling just thinking about it.
We moved away so I didn’t have to worry either. We got out of that town and not a moment too soon.
I also grew up in a small southern town, and I fought like hell to get out of there. Now, many years later, opioids and other drugs are decimating what used to be a fairly quiet small town. So, I would say definitely not, but I also don’t live there anymore.
I’ve considered homeschooling (for my future children) and the comment I always get is “but they need socializing.” ‘Socializing’ for me in public school was being sexually harassed and often involved in physical fights, so… I’m sure there’s a way to socialize homeschooled children without any of that!
Wow! Everything you said is the same in the town I was bullied in- once a quiet little town and now destroyed by migrating gangs and drugs. And I encourage homeschooling because public schools are no good for kids anymore. They only dumb them down. And kids can get socialization through other kids in the neighborhood and through siblings and cousins. Public schools are running scared now because many kids are moving to homeschooling. You see? For each child in attendance per day, public schools get a certain amount of funding. If they lose kids, they lose funding. It’s all about the almighty dollar and they care nothing about the kids. That’s why they discourage homeschooling because they don’t want to lose that money.
Fortunately, I don’t live in the same country as the town I was bullied in. However, true story, the first time I took my wife to the States, we drove through the town. She commented on the nice houses in the town, so, I revealed my bullying nightmare from that town. She changed her mind about the town very quickly.
I don’t blame her. 🙂