Reasons Targets of Bullying Should Leave The Town They’re Bullied In

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“A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” – Mark 6:4

You want to live bully-free. You long for people to give you space and the chance to relax, be yourself, and live a rewarding and meaningful life. You want opportunities to flow into your life and to live by your own standards. If you are bullied, you probably have the desire to reinvent yourself and attract love and respect.

Unfortunately, to do this, you will have to leave town if you were bullied in school. The reason is that if you don’t move, you will always be known as that “loser,” that “whore”, that “lowlife,” that “crazy,” or whatever label people stuck you with in high school, and no one will give you a chance no matter what.

The girl with a suitcase

You will always be known for being the kid who was bullied by everyone- known for being “Everybody’s b!&$#” and you will more than likely continue to be targeted long after graduation, especially if you’re in a small town or rural area.

However, in a new geological area, you will be the new kid in town- that new kid who is mysterious, intriguing, and beguiling! You will be the person everyone is anxious to meet because they feel that you’re full of hope and promise. In a new town, you can reinvent and redefine yourself. You can rewrite your own story and give a stellar first impression, then let it speak for itself.

As a result, you will be successful at anything and attract endless opportunities for love, friendship, and advancement.

But back in the old town, you’re the kid who was desperate for attention. Any success you have will only be viewed as another ploy to show off and impress others, which will cause you to become a target as an adult. In contrast, any failure will be looked at by others as an “I told you so” opportunity and confirmation to them that you really are a loser.

In a new town, your value comes from what you put out. You are judged by the fruit you bear, whereas, in the old town, you are judged by who you were in school. You are judged solely by your reputation, which was ruined in school.

Open door on long empty asphalt road, highway towards sun. Hope, success, new way concepts etc.

In a town where you were bullied, nobody will be interested in how much you’ve grown and changed as a person. Others do not want to hear about any successes you’ve enjoyed or accomplishments you’ve made because it would only force them to consider that maybe you’re not such a bad person after all and quiet their own judgment of you. And because no one wants to be wrong about anything, they’ll only dig their heels in and double-down on their judgments and attitudes toward you.

It’s next to impossible to discover your true potential when others define you by who they perceive you to be. Because their perceptions of you will always be negative, and they will do everything they can to keep you in your place. It’s a box you will never be able to get out of no matter what. However, when you move to a new environment, you are more likely to advance in anything. You’re more likely to get the breakthrough you’ve for so long-awaited.

You could become an expert at something later in life, and people would respect you for it anywhere else, but if you took that expertise to the town you were bullied in, very few would be impressed. Move to a new locale and show what you know, then you’ll have notoriety no matter what.

But more importantly than any of the above reasons, move because your peace, your happiness, and your sanity depend on it. Why would you stay where every move you make is constantly watched and you’re judge and marginalized?

Why stay where you risk having to suffer more bullying in the future and where you’ll more than likely only get bullied out of every job you get, harassed at the supermarket, or jumped in the parking lot outside the local Dairy Queen?

You can always return a few years later after you’ve built your confidence and social and creative portfolios, but don’t be surprised if you notice all the things that suck about the old town, one of which will be the reception you get from the people there. Another thing that will most likely disappoint you is that you will have had more life changes than any of the people who stayed, and they would only bore the crap out of you.

Hit the road concept, road – 3D rendering

So, get out of Dodge- fast! Go to a brand-new place and discover yourself! You want to get beyond the confines of your reputation, and the only way to do that is to pack your bags and get out of the town you were bullied in! It’s the only way you’ll become what you want to be and move up in the world! Once you do, you’ll have a level of respect, influence, safety, and best of all- freedom that you never would’ve achieved had you stayed in your hometown!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

51 thoughts on “Reasons Targets of Bullying Should Leave The Town They’re Bullied In”

  1. aparna12 says:
    Reply

    Excellent, Cherie. Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful posts most of which I can relate to. I find your suggestions very impressive.

  2. Stella Reddy says:
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    This is very true, especially for me. Living with fear of attack, verbal or physical, is not easy to live with, especially when you have anxiety issues. Get out, live your life away from them and that environment. Not only will your eyes open to the abuse, you will gain clarity of it all and see it for what it is. Bullying.

  10. 80smetalman says:
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    I can attest to this for sure! When I moved out of the town I was bullied in, I went from a student who had to fight for a C to making the Honor Roll and played on both the basketball and baseball teams.

  11. Gregoryno6 says:
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    I left town to get away from family bs, and I was the last one to realise it!
    I thought I was coming to Perth for just a couple of years, driving across Australia to see more of the country. A day or two before I left I had a disagreement with my mother which ended with her throwing down the Dad card – “Oh, you’re just like your father!” This time I snapped back “You can’t blame me for that. You chose him!” She had no answer to that, and in the prolonged silence that followed I realised that I was leaving Melbourne for good. I wasn’t coming back here to live, not in a couple of years or ever.

    • cheriewhite says:
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      I’m so sorry that happened to you, Gregory. My stepmother did the same to my half-brother before she died and after my Dad passed away. He never forgot it and is scarred by it today. I hope you found happiness in your new town.

      • Gregoryno6 says:
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        It was good for me. The late 80’s recession didn’t hit Perth until 1990, just a short time before I arrived. And I knew nobody here. I had to get resourceful. I landed a job in a food factory and then spent four years working for a labour hire firm. I established myself as one of the top men, the guy they sent out first to new customers because they knew I’d make a good impression. Moved on through several industries, building a good reputation along the way. None of that would have happened if I hadn’t left Melbourne.

  12. RespectAll44 says:
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    Unfortunately that is true especially if it is widespread long term bullying. And it is amazing how it varies from town to town.

  13. euroktoo says:
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    Interesting post Cherie! I must say, I came across this post a few years back when I was researching trauma in Indigenous learning communities, and it is a gem: “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” as I found it to be profoundly true especially in toxic familes and workplaces. I have left before- my family: to start my career- and can leave again-my current position- but this time when I go, I will have my pen in tow packing a strong voice who will blow the roof off this ugly little truth that hides in lockers, under the bleachers and in staff rooms across schools globally! I am beyond done of this! See what you have created, Cherie?? I have my next purpose in my life and I am eager to get pre-serviced teachers and my colleagues to have the conversations so that they are never have to experience this during their careers!

  14. A. White says:
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    In recent years, like the last 40 years, there has cropped another form of bullying being practiced called gangstalking. It’s where a network of unknown to the victim people stalks one individual for years. Moving doesn’t help with this form of stalking. Technology has made it far easy for them to find their target.

    • cheriewhite says:
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      I’ve heard of gangstalking and have even read a few articles this past year on the subject. It’s something that’s fairly new to me so I’ll definitely do more research on it. Thank you for your thoughts. 😊

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