Overreacting. Any overreactions to the taunts, insults, and attacks of bullies only bring more problems targets would otherwise avoid if they stayed calm. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson through time-consuming trial and error, and it could’ve gotten me either maimed or killed. But you don’t have to.
Overreacting can have a boomerang effect because when you get overly excited, the chances are that the bullies will too- especially bullies who are overly aggressive. Overdoing the response could cause the altercation to escalate into something you may not be able to walk away from. Also, the bullies could use your overreaction against you.
The target’s overreaction is how bullies feign victimhood and make the victim look like the aggressor. It’s how bullies bait their victims. So why not use a different strategy?
Chess board and text “Strategic plan” Business planning concept
The smart thing to do is to fake a surrender or submission. Make it look as if you’re giving in to your bullies’ demands. I realize this may feel a bit cowardly to you, but you aren’t caving in, you’re only making your bullies think you are. So, remain calm and make them believe they have the upper hand. Doing so will stabilize the bully’s temper.
But wait! There’s another benefit! Your bullies more than likely expect or even want you to react with a high degree of aggression. But you don’t, and it will throw them off guard. It will surprise, even shock your bullies, because you remained calm and agreed with them. The surprise is a powerful weapon if you know how to use it.
Use your fake surrender as part of a bigger plan once you fool them into thinking you care. On the inside, you continue to stand your ground, but on the outside, you give in to their desires. Doing so can give you time to quietly plan a countermeasure that will bring the bullies down. Smarts will always trump aggression every time!
However, understand that this takes a truckload of self-discipline and self-control. And, as mentioned earlier, you may feel like a big old wimp when you use this technique. Just remember this: You’re not giving the bullies what they want. You only look like you are. You’re only playing dead to save your life!
Here’s a third benefit. By faking your submission, you also allow yourself time to study your bullies and carefully plot any future moves. And when the bullies are satisfied and lay off you, you’ll finally have room to make your countermove.
So, go ahead—fake your submission. Get close to your bullies and learn their ways. Give them no reason to react, nothing to prepare for, and no cause for resistance. Then when the time is right, BAM!
They won’t know what hit them.
Any time you make it look as if you submit to your bullies, you’re only mocking them. It’s silent disdain – like expelling a silent fart in their direction, only they don’t know they’ve been farted on.
You turn their own power against them and make them look like idiots. But they can’t retaliate because you did what they told you to do. Right?
With knowledge comes empowerment!
You’re only playing dead to save your life.. good strategy, nice advice 👍👍
Thank you so much, Vartika. 💖
Love this post.
Thank you so much! 💖
When I was in high school there was this girl who bullied me. Most of the time I ignored her, as she was only taunting me, trying to get me to react or feel bad about myself. Then one day, after gym we were waiting for the bell to ring and she saw a phone number on one of my books. She started teasing me, wanting to know who my boyfriend was. No matter what I said, she wouldn’t believe me, so I told her to call the number. After that day, she barely said a word to me.
It was my churches phone number I had written down in case of an emergency. Years later, when I was working at a local restaurant, she came in with her family, sat in my section…and apologized for giving me such a hard time in high school. I could’ve been mean, but I told her it was in the past and she was forgiven.
Awesome story! I’m so glad things worked out! I love happy endings! 💖💐🌹
I could tell by her posture that she was uncomfortable…but as soon as I said she was forgiven, the look of relief! It was like she was living with the regret for all those years.
Things always work out the way they’re supposed to.
Absolutely! I’m glad she finally apologized to you. That shows strength and is an opportunity for closure.
Brilliant strategy Cherie, your experiences are valuable and are helping many. ♥️🙏🏻
Thank you so much, Amber! 💖
Do you think this method is a productive action in this “better community” you’re striving to create? Do those recommendations possibly make you calculating and vindictive? Sociopathic even.. Seeking revenge by pretending to be close to them and learning their behavior so you can premeditate a conviction or something harmful to their being? (bully or not, they’re still human beings and are bully’s bc of past trauma, insecurities, or being bullied themselves)
I’ve been on both sides of the story and without knowledge to my behavior I felt I was protecting myself from a preditor, which clearly you state that’s what you should do, be a predator. Stay around and put on a facade, learn their weaknesses, exploit them, destroy them and their sense of self? Gaslighting? I don’t know where you get your information, but that type of abuse is more harmful toward someone. That’s with intent and knowledge of doing the harm and planning it, putting time and energy into playing a roll so someone trusts you? False sense of safety is the worse thing you can provide to anyone EVER. Pretty sure that’s exactly what serial killers’ plans look like…
From my experience, distancing yourself and removing yourself from their life would provide us with a safer community. Because it sounds like the pain caused by the bully, creates a bigger one, and the cycle continues. Eye for an eye makes us all go blind and the cycle of abuse will continue You never know, a conversation and removing someone from your life due to toxic behavior could be a game changer. I’ve learned through things I’ve lost bc of my ignorance and the way I treated people. Getting a taste of my own medicine produced psychological damage and I was crippled and only cause more damange bc I had been treated so poorly I had the “excuse” but it didn’t change anything in the past. Didn’t make me feel better only worse
Just a thought from someone who never takes advice, holds my breath all day and gasps for air at night. But maybe someone will read it and not be horrible to someone who also feels horrible l. Start there and understand we all feel like s***, relate to it, don’t fuel the fire.
Have a good night and I’m sorry to those that feel that pain, but you’re beautiful souls in their own degree and can do great things. You’re here for a reason, you’re not what others say you are and imagine how you can succeed putting forth that time and energy towards rising above and not silently farting in someone to get revenge? Sorry for the novel! But this hits home with me. And unfortunately, I’ll get ridiculed and bullied and made fun of and belittled for this comment. Just want a happier place to live in. ❤️
When you’re being mercilessly bullied, all you’re trying to do is get them to leave you alone. And this can be used not to harm them, but to expose their behavior later. I used this method in the seventh grade when I was being bullied.
My bullies wanted me to take up their travels for them and it gave me a clever idea to give them what they want because I knew they’d get so comfortable and cocky with it they’d do something dumb. Sure enough, they did a week later when they got up and left their trays on their table for me to take up. I smiled as I walked out of the cafeteria and left those trays sitting there! 😂🤣😂🤣
The lunch ladies got their names and ended up turning them into the principal. They got in so much trouble! They were made to go back to the lunch room and clean up their mess and humiliated before the entire school. They never bothered me again!