1. How do I stop people from bullying me?
2. What can I do to make friends and allies?
3. How do I get a date?
4. How can I learn to have a little influence?
5. What does it take to be charming?
6. What can I do to get that je nais se quois that naturally draws people?
The questions presented here are legitimate questions. After all, we humans are social animals.
We’re hardwired for social connections and togetherness.
Humans are made to enjoy friendships and positive connections, especially during the formative years. It’s a crucial to our development.
The more likeable we are, the better chances we have of making friends and maintaining relationships. Also, we’re more likely to get a date, get married, and reproduce ourselves.
Moreover, likeability increases our chances of getting better jobs, bonuses, higher tips, and promotions.
However, this is not to say that targets of bullying aren’t likeable because they are. Often, it’s the bullies who are unlikable. Why else would they become jealous and target likeable people.
Sadly, over time, the effects of long-term bullying can cause the target to become less and less likeable.
Any form of bullying and abuse that is long-term can shatter a person’s trust in humanity. As a result, the person can become guarded and suspicious of others.
Furthermore, people sense this and are repelled by it. After all, there can be no connection if there isn’t trust. Sadly, they don’t teach likeability in school. Therefore, it’s up to us to read the appropriate books and articles and practice what we learn.
Here are the answers to the questions above:
1. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to control the thoughts and behavior of another. Each person has their own mind and will do what they will do. In other words, nothing you say or do will stop them if it’s something they really want to do. That includes bullying. However, what you can control is your reaction to it.
Moreover, there’s no law that says you must stand there and take their crap. You can choose not to give them a response or you can put your hand up, turn, and walk away. You can tell the idiot to get bent, or you can give them the middle finger and keep going. There are many things you can do to put the creep back in their place.
2. Just be yourself. And care not what others think or say of you. Do these things and the right people will come into your life and want to be friends.
3. Again, be yourself. And remember. A smile is the best outfit you can ever put on.
4. Be confident. Confidence is a natural influencer. If you’re confident in yourself, others will more likely be confident in you.
5. Again, be confident, be yourself, and care not what others think. It’s also important to be interested in other people because people naturally like others who are interested in them.
6. See number 5.
7. Bullies bully because they’re insecure. They’re afraid of their own imperfections coming to light, so they use you as a distraction from their shortcomings.
Some people are born with natural charm and likeability, and some weren’t. However, always remember this. The personality traits you weren’t born with can always, always be learned. You must read books on how to be more likeable and lesson your chances of attracting bullies.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
These are such amazing questions to explore! I really love all of your advice my friend. You’re crazy good at what you do.
Awww, thank you so much, LaShelle! This means more than you know and more than I can possibly tell you! 💖🤗💖🤗💖🤗
You give great advice.
Thank you so much, Molly! 💖
“What does it take to be charming?”
I have no clue
Dear Friend Cherie,
I have neglected reading good friend’s posts lately.
Not for lack of desire, but from lacking of my character.
If you read my ‘latest’ you may come to cut me some slack and understand why.
Or Not
Cheers,
Your Forever Friend,
–Lancers
https://texantales.com/2022/07/13/the-idiot-and-the-odyssey/
Thank you, Lancers. I haven’t been reading a lot of posts because the kings of WP still have my blog flagged and I’m unable to like any posts and even comment on some. It’s as if they’re tightening the restrictions. But I will read your post and see if my comment goes through.
I hope my comment went through, Lance. Please let me know! Have a great night! 🙂
“Some people are born with natural charm and likeability, and some weren’t.”
Lance weren’t
Sure you where. You just may not know it yet. 🙂🙂🙂
Awesome post!!
Thank you so much, Rancy! 💖🌺🌻
You know… I don’t like likeable people. 🙂 If they want something from me, they have to work more than the other ones.
You have a point. However, I’m not suggesting for anyone to kiss butt. Kissing butt is self-serving and I’d be suspicious of anyone who brown-noses. Targets of bullying don’t want to be treated like rockstars. Most dont “want” anything from anyone but for them to just leave them alone, spare them the drama, and respect their rights to safety and human dignity. That’s it.
Great post Cherie and one I for one have pondered some of these questions myself over the past few years. I like your answers, they are very informative.
#1, getting them to stop the bullying, is the hardest for me. I have gained back my self-confidence in myself and it has made a big difference. Without that, I would not have the mental strength to keep trying to get the bullying to stop like I do.
I have new ways now to help me stop the bulling of me online! It will take a while, it will take as long as it takes, but I know now that the end is closer than ever!
Thank you so much, Stella! Keep up the great work on your blog as well, sweetie! You’re changing lives with it because there are others who’ve been through what you have, but they’re too afraid to talk about it due to PC. Have a wonderful day sweetie!