Mobbing is THE severest form of bullying. Once the bullying reaches the stage of mobbing, this is when the bullying becomes life-threatening! And if you’ve ever been a target of it, you know firsthand how destructive it is.
The reason that mobbing is so hard to remedy is that not only has it already rendered us so distraught that we’re unable to think clearly, but we aren’t able to name, describe, nor communicate the steps bullies take to destroy us.
A successful smear campaign is started by a bully or bullies who are well-practiced in the arts of persuasion and influence and can last for years.
Here’s something I want you to realize. A smear campaign is nowhere near as tricky as it looks. You’d be amazed at just how simple it is to smear someone. It’s so easy that it shouldn’t be so effective, but it is!
To quote the old Geico commercial, it’s “so easy; a caveman can do it.”
Here’s a chronological, step-by-step recap of how bullies do it and succeed at it:
1. The bullies have a dislike for a specific individual who refuses to conform to their standard of who she should be.
Now all this time, the bullies have been able to influence everyone else and get them to submit to their will and every whim. Then, low and behold, along comes the target (we’ll call her “Cindy”) who’s stubborn and either unable to or won’t submit to the bullies’ control and allow them to change her personality into what they think it should be.
And Cindy may not realize the bullies’ motives and that just by doing her thing, she’s enraging the bullies. So, she goes on about her business, makes plans for her future, makes achievement after achievement, and maybe she gets loads of positive attention and praise from others because she’s so successful and well-liked.
2. Next, the bullies begin to smear Cindy. To implement their smear campaign, they watch Cindy, studying her behavior carefully until they’re able to anticipate her reactions.
3. The bullies then train their audience (i.e., the other classmates or coworkers to expect a specific type of behavior out of Cindy. They point out these behaviors when they occur. The bullies then associate Cindy’s completely innocent behavior with something bad or evil.
For example, let’s say that Cindy is sweet, playful, and likes to engage in a little banter. The bullies watch as Cindy banters with people in the school or workplace. She playfully calls someone a “dummy” or a “goofball,” but others know that it’s all for harmless jokes and think it’s funny because Cindy is a genuinely kind person.
4. So, the bullies begin making offhand comments. They remark that Cindy’s kindness is only an attempt to kiss ass because she wants something from people and that she thinks the people around her really are dummies, but only disguises it under a veil of fun jokes and playfulness.
The bullies also make statements that Cindy thinks she’s cute and that Cindy thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. Then repeat, repeat, repeat!
To quote a propaganda minister to a well-known dictator in history, “Tell a lie once, and it remains a lie. Tell a lie a thousand times, and it becomes the truth.”
5. The next time others see Cindy being kind to and playfully bantering with someone, she doesn’t look so cute, and the banter isn’t so funny anymore. Now people see a side of Cindy they can’t believe they never noticed before.
6. Now feeling smug with gratification, the bullies look at themselves, then at Cindy with smirks on their crooked faces and try the same thing all over again.
7. And before you know it, everyone wonders what they ever saw in Cindy, to begin with. They start having negative feelings toward the poor girl.
8. Cindy begins to pick up on the negative vibes around her and withdraws a little. She doesn’t speak to people as much as she did and doesn’t understand what she did or said to bring it all about. The bullies notice that Cindy is more distant than usual, and they point this out to everyone.
“Hey, look! Do you see that? Now, what did we tell you? Cindy really does think we’re all dummies! She really does think she’s smarter than the rest of us!”
“And her ass-kissing (Cindy’s sweet disposition) didn’t work, so now she’s too good to speak to anyone!”
9. Cindy’s withdrawal only inflames everyone’s feelings of dislike and resentment. Although her becoming distant is only out of self-protection, others mistake it for smugness and arrogance.
10. And it only snowballs from there, getting worse and worse over time. Understand that people are human, and they make mistakes. They misjudge innocent others all the time.
And when bullies condition the whole of a group, school, organization, workplace, or community to see any quality in a particular person as a bad thing, a smear campaign is most effective. So everyone, even those who aren’t bullies and are otherwise kind and compassionate, can become extremely cold and cruel to a target. And everyone repeats the same cruelty, over and over again.
Understand that smear campaigns are just too effective because they can quickly become bullying, then escalate to mobbing, which is the most severe kind of bullying. And once it increases to mobbing, it’s unstoppable, and the only way you can take your life back is to leave that toxic, poisonous environment altogether.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
https://i.postimg.cc/0jgqgJCV/bonjour-12.jpg
Notre amitié est précieuse
Car elle me rend heureux
Tu es mon meilleur(e) ami(e)
Car tu es ici
Tu m’as tendu la main
Par tes écris tes mots
Tu as renversé mon destin
Sans toi je ne suis rien
Et avec toi je suis si bien
Cela me fais toujours plaisir de te laisser un petit mot
Ou une image
A toi mon ami(e) belle journée bise
Thank you so much, Bernard! Beautiful poem! 🤗🤗🤗
Yep, you nailed it!
Thank you, Balladeer! 😊🤗😊🤗
What an in depth piece. Thank you for an informative and enlightening post! 😊 It’s important that we should be aware of how the bully operates so as not to fall into their trap.
Thank you so much, Simone! 💖 And absolutely we should! 💯
All very true Cherie! In my case, I was branded a liar who told all sorts of fake stories, a faggot and bad at sports. All of this made me a prime target for bullies.
I’m so glad you finally overcome those creeps who bullied you and showed them up by creating a good life for yourself, Michael. Bullying didn’t kill us, it made us stronger. 💪💪💪
It did.
My you know this inside out. Thank you for sharing there is so much to consider. No one Jesus was crucified. Said with respect. Take care and have a lovely day.🤗
You’re most welcome, Sandy! And yes, Jesus was bullied worse than anyone, he was crucified and he won in the end. The crucified part was said figuratively. Thank you so much for your feedback! ❤️ 🌺🌷🌞🦋
…no wonder..
Fat fingers
😁😁😁 That happens to me too, sweetie!
a frightening description
It sure is, Michael. 💯
Good post. Can I just say that it’s important to engage in some sort of self defence from when you are little. This makes a person stronger, not only physically but mentally. Bullies are like hyenas. They spot a weak animal. Bullies will always be and martial arts will more likely keep them at bay.
I couldn’t agree more! 💯💯💯 Martial arts and self-defense are essential against bullies! Thank you so much for bringing that up!
You’re welcome. They soon back off if you give them a good kick up the old arse 😂
😂🤣😂🤣 You got that right! That’s the only thing bullies understand.
This is what happened to my Mom and I. Thank you for writing about it.
You’re most welcome, Fredrika. 💖My heart goes out to you and your mother. Here’s hoping you both overcome and emerge victorious! 💪💪💪
Thank you. ❤️🙏🏽
You’re most welcome, Fredrika! 💖