Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.
Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone. It is the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.
For many years- even back during the eighties, when I was in school, people thought that it was the one skill that could never be taught. It was thought that you were either born with it, or you weren’t and if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept and deal with. Thankfully, we now know differently.
Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion and, as a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world. When you’ve been bullied for so long, you because deathly afraid of other people and come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else- afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.
You retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved- a world of imaginary people who accept you. As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created.
This is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you and you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to create a good life for yourself and nurture relationships. Before you know it, you become socially awkward- you become too quiet, shy, and reserved.
You look right through people instead of smiling and saying hello. You become sullen and spaced out instead of happy, upbeat, and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.
In short, it stunts your social development!
This is why it’s so important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. You do this by keeping your heart open, meeting new people and making friends- created positive interactions and experiences outside the bullying environment and away from your bullies (or anyone else who knows you from the toxic bullying environment. Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “2 Ways Bullying Stunts a Target’s Social Development”
Thank you so much for sharing this vital post. I can understand how important this is these days. I didn’t for a long time, years ago. I went through all the emotions and feelings that you describe at that time and had only toxic friends who kept me in the place I was in. I recognise that I allowed this then, but I’m not like that anymore, thank goodness. Although I still have ‘issues’, as you know, I now have emotionally ‘healthy’ friends who I love dearly and vice versa. I did, as you said, have to leave the toxic friends behind because I didn’t want to be drawn into that way of living anymore. Those ‘friends’ didn’t like it, but I just knew I had to get out of that space. I think I’m quite a people person now. I love going into town and saying hello to others, and smiling at strangers is so important in my opinion; you never know what sort of days they’re having, and if I can cheer someone’s day up but doing that, I hope that makes them happy even if only temporarily, and it certainly makes me happy too. I don’t think you’re ever too ‘old’ to learn social intelligence. Thanks again for sharing such an important topic. I learn so much from the information you blog about. Ellie 💖💛💝💛💕
Awww! Thank you so much, Ellie! 💖 This means a lot! And I’m so proud of you! You’ve left the toxic friends behind and switched to making much better friends and I couldn’t be happier! Also, it’s wonderful that you love going into town and greeting people- now that shows that you’ve become a people person and care about your fellow man! 🌺🌷🌻You’ve grown so much- you’ve come out of your cocoon and become a butterfly! You don’t know how that pleases my heart! 🦋🦋🦋
Arificial intelligence, especially remote socialization, has modified and modified natural, original, real,(3D) systems by transforing them into binary Cartesian algorithmic systems (2D) through virtual, unreal, deceptive, appealing programs, but… deadly, for all those deprived of the Word AAAE.
All this electronic socialization is no good. Face to face connection is always better. 👨👩👧👫Nothing replaces human contact. Thank you so much for your comment. 😊