Deep down, many targets are brainwashed into thinking that they must depend on their bullies for something. It’s true. I know this leaves you scratching your head. You may ask,
“Depend on bullies? For what?”
Here’s your answer:
For approval, acceptance, and to have the ability to make friends.
Bullies
Yes. Bullies want targets to believe they must depend on them to have those things. And it’s how they keep targets essentially begging for it- by dangling carrots of the possibility of winning approval to keep targets under their oppressive thumb and doing what bullies want them to do.
Domestic/Spousal Abusers
Think about it. Domestic abusers do basically the same to their abused partners- keep them dependent to maintain control and domination of them. Only domestic abusers keep their victims dependent on financial resources by controlling the purse strings and shutting down opportunities for the partner to make their own money.
Another control tactic of the spousal abuser is cutting the partner off from their family and friends- people outside the relationship who may help the partner, see the abuser for what they are, advise the abused partner to leave the relationship, and, therefore, threaten the abuser’s power.
Abuse is abuse whether it comes in the form of bullying in school or the workplace, or domestic abuse and psychological manipulation in the home.
Oh! But wait!
Oppressive Governments
Socialist and Communist governments also do the same to their people. They manipulate events and media narratives, and even deliberately crash their countries’ economies to force their people to become dependent on them. They even set up terrorist regimes to beat any dissenters into submission and burn their homes and businesses. And this is nothing new. These tactics have been done down through history!
Though all this, these governments are able to wrest control of their people’s behavior, thoughts, and very lives.
Why? Because, if you can keep someone dependent on you, you can make rules for them to follow, tell them what to do, and have complete domination over their lives. You can force them to put up with the most unspeakable and evil of abuses and ensure their silence by keeping them in fear of withdrawing whatever it is they depend on you for- whether it be approval, acceptance, friendship, love, money, a good living, or even food and medicine to keep you alive.
You can have complete control over every aspect of a person’s life if you can keep them dependent on you for their very safety and survival.
Understand that when control freaks use these methods of control, they strip you of your freedom and autonomy. They keep you too afraid to be your own person, to exercise your human rights. They take away your ability to speak freely, to be creative with your life, and to flourish. They also keep you too afraid to stand up to them, call them out on their abuse, and asserting your God-given right not to be controlled and abused.
The controlling person does this by keeping you under the threat that they will retaliate and unleash even worse pain on you if you don’t obey or you step out of line.
The problem with this is that bullies, abusers, and oppressive governments only get drunk on their own power and are never satisfied. They must always up the ante and take more, more, and more control. Also, abusers tend to be sadistic monsters who live to see others go through pain and suffering, and no amount of suffering is enough for them. They have an insatiable blood-lust, and need to witness the pain of others, especially their targets.
You must realize that bullies, domestic abusers and oppressive governments and regimes have all the same in common- they love to control people and destroy their targets. And how they do it is to make them feel obligated and keep them dependent on them for social, financial, economic, or physical survival!
In their minds, you’re only here for their convenience, their purpose, their agenda, and their pleasure. Never your own.
In summary, always remember that bullies always rely on fear and dependency in others! Always- whether they bully in school, the workplace, the home, or government and politics. And the tactics, although done on different levels, are both universal and timeless.
We may not know it or may have been convinced otherwise, but we have more power over our lives than we know. It’s up to us whether bullies take away that power.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
I’m currently reading a biography on Mao and a separate book about the Chinese famine (1950’s-60’s), and I will have to agree with this post. Dependency on the government/dictator has been big for such governments/dictatorships to remain in power.
PS: And I’m really enjoying your blog! There’s a lot of depth and great writing. Very interesting 🙂
Thank you so much. This means a lot. It’s sad but we have bullies all the way up to the top. It’s not only sad but it’s scary that they can have the influence to trick us all into giving up our lives and livelihoods.
This
Thank you so much, Greg! 😃
Good post! I think this pandemic has shown more than ever that we can’t rely on government to protect us and we have to exercise common sense
Thank you so much! And I agree wholeheartedly. But it seems that the powers that be want to convince us to ignore common sense and our gut feeling, which is always right! I consider our gut, our second brain.
Excellent post, and you really catch the ‘essence’ of bullying. It is generally thought that bullies do it for fun, gratification, or because they can in a lot of schools. But as you point out, it’s about control and power. Well written 😀
Thank you so much, Charlie! And the tactics are surprisingly easy to predict.
I love the analogies among the different abuse structures, Cherie 🙂. May I also add that in the autocratic a.k.a communist scenario, detention without any kind of trial is common? So people are fearful of being locked up without representation. That is bullying in the extreme. See the Uighur internment camps in China.
Thank you so much. 😊 You absolutely nailed it, Sue. It’s scary. And if something isn’t done, it has a good chance of happening here. Never in my life did I never imagine it until the last few years. 😱
You’re welcome, Cherie. I think the legal system here is robust. Democracy is a system of governance l really respect and admire. It is more messy than oppressive systems but it is a way for many points of view to be heard.
True. There’s still freedom left and it’s better than a lot of other countries. I just hope it stays that way.
My personal opinion is that respectful debate is the way to go. Most of us know what good manners are and if we are disagree with a point of view, we can talk about it. We can even agree to disagree. But violence, threats and name-calling is offensive.
You said it, girl. I can agree to disagree and so can a few others. But most don’t want to have a healthy debate. They only want to launch ad homimen attacks- personal attacks, if you disagree with them on one tiny thing, especially the younger generations. It’s all a part of the entitlement they’re infected with. Most people think they’re entitled and you’re supposed to bow to everything they say or want. They’ve forgotten that everyone is different and that everyone has a right to their own beliefs, values, and opinions- and that everyone has a right to exist.
Launching personal attacks in place of factual arguments is a sign of weakness. When l get emotional sometimes when l debate, l take a deep breath and remind myself of this. As to entitlement, l hear you. Don’t get me started on that one. Have a great night, Cherie.😁
It sure is. It’s also a sign of desperation. You have a great night too, Sue. I enjoyed talking to you. 🙂
I am old-fashioned, l guess.
You and me both, honey! 🙂❤
Once you create FEAR, control follows. 👀🍃
Absolutely it does. Fear is the tool to control. Thank you so much for commenting. ❤
Great article but I also want to point out that DV can occur from both genders and in fairness to men that isn’t talked about enough. Now as far as government issues actually research shows that people in Socialist countries are more happy than any other form of government and all government has some aspects of Socialism, people don’t realize that Put this way. Those stimulus checks everyone cashed are actually socialism. Without some government control you have chaos the wild wild west. Socialism is not bullying, have to respectfully disagree with you on that big time.
Fair enough. I can agree to disagree. Thank you for commenting. 🙂