When You Look into The Face of a Target of Bullying

February 23, 20213 Comments

You see the anguish- the desperately yearning to belong.

You see the hopelessness and despair- the wondering if things will ever get better.

You see the fear- the knowing he/she could be physically or psychologically attacked at any moment, or many even killed.

You see the sadness- the wanting to cry but not daring to for fear of looking weaker than they already look to others.

You see the determination- the determination to survive another day.

You see the silent pleas for help- help that is being denied and seems to never come.

You see the lack of trust in humanity- because the person has been let down too many times. How can that trust be restored?

You see the exhaustion- the weariness of the constant battle they face.

Lastly, you see the yearning for peace- the desperately wanting the war to stop so they can relax, breathe, and not have to fight anymore.

Bullies with Guilty Consciences

February 20, 20214 Comments

Have you noticed that anytime you speak out against bullying and abuse, or any wrongdoing for that matter, that the guilty dogs always come for you and bark the loudest? Maybe you tell your story of the bullying and abuse that you, yourself, suffered in the past and how you’ve since overcome it.

And…BOOM! Many haters come out of the woodwork, latch on, and start screaming, cursing, putting you down and accusing you of everything under the sun. Some call you ugly names and threaten – even people you don’t know, who don’t know you, and have nothing to do with what you’re talking about.

Thankfully, this has not happened here on WordPress and I am so grateful for all my WordPress family! You guys are truly the best and I could not ask for better people online.

But, on occasion, it has happened on a few other forums and once in person when I gave information about it to someone who desperately needed it. The person thanked me but the people who overheard our conversation went berserk over it later. So, if this has happened to you too, did you ever wonder why?

Its because the people who are sooo offended and doing the yelling, cursing, and tantrum-throwing have guilty consciences.

Here’s a further explanation:

Naturally, we know that people who’ve bullied and abused you in the past, are going to come out in droves and attack you. That’s a given. And you don’t have to call these people out by their names to trigger them and put them on the defense. Why? Because to hear, read about, or even know that you’re speaking out on the subject itself makes them very afraid- panicky even.

But, more than anything, it eats at their conscience!

Again, realize that you don’t have to necessarily expose them. All you’ve got to do is prick at their sense of guilt and they go nuts.

The latter is why you may also trigger people who may not know you nor have anything to do with what was done to you- you delivered a huge blow to their conscience! Even worse, you made them feel dirty! And that alone drives people utterly insane!

Though they may not necessarily have bullied and abused you, they did someone else. And hearing you talk about your experiences, or talk about bullying and abuse in general, made you a huge reminder to those people. You caused them to either think of the abuse they’re dishing out to someone else or have inflicted in the past. Ouch!

It’s subconscious. They don’t know it, and probably couldn’t explain it. All those people know is that your story, or the subject you speak of is rubbing them the wrong way and causing them a lot of anxiety.

This is the reason they freak out and flip their wigs.

It’s happened to me. I’ve seen it up close. And believe you me, these folks become downright scary! Because when they lose it, their eyes seem to jump out at you and they snarl when they yell at you. I mean, they really come unglued!

But understand that they are only revealing themselves. They’re ripping their own masks off and don’t realize they’re doing it. Why would someone get so defensive, so irate and have a complete meltdown if you weren’t stepping on a few toes- if the people around you didn’t feel that somehow, some way, you weren’t talking directly to them, or about them?

Really think about it. Pastors of churches have this happen all the time. During Sunday service, they’ll preach on a certain subject, then a few church members get angry over it and give him the what-for after the service is over.

My point is that if they knew they weren’t guilty of anything, they’d automatically know that the conversation had nothing to do with them. So, why would they care?

Remember that the people who are most offended by this and react irately are the guilty ones and you can bet that they have, at some time, bullied you or another innocent person. Anger can be revealing.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Will Eat Their Own

February 17, 20213 Comments

I saw this happen and yes, while I was at Oakley High School, even in the workplace. When there are no targets available to degrade and dehumanize, bullies will begin to turn on one of their own in the clique.

Understand that even the inner circle of the clique has a pecking order. Every clique has a leader, second in command, third and so forth (depending on how many members in the group), all the way down to the bottom rat. And if their targets aren’t available, the members of the clique will turn on that bottom rat and she will be the target of the day.

And if it so happens that the bottom rat’s not available either, then the poor sucker on the second rung up is the one who will catch hell. And so on. Crap always rolls downhill and lands on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in the basement.

And what was really scandalous is that sometimes, the targets didn’t have to be unavailable. I stood back and watched a lot of back-biting between the members of the bully cliques, a few would go out with the other friends’ boyfriends or girlfriends behind their backs then smile in their faces at school the following Monday. But that was their business and any sane person would no part of such strange, twisted, and dysfunctional friendships.

With them it was back to back ego trips and while most targets, sheople, and wannabes at OHS considered a curse, a few others considered a blessing. I could deal with not being in the in-crowd, that was fine and dandy. What I had an issue with was that none of those creeps would leave me alone, go on about their business, and get a life.

Remember that bullies must always have a target- someone to look down on, someone to dump on, and someone to tell what to do and ride roughshod over. Therefore, if their usual targets aren’t available on any given day, the bullies at the top will turn on the lowest members of their own group and continue demeaning them until their regular targets return.

This is yet another reason why you should never accept being in one of the in-cliques. Must you be in one to feel validated? No. You’re just as awesome without them. You’re also freer! Because if you’re not in a clique, you don’t have to live up to anyone’s unwritten rules or standards. You’re free to be yourself and do your own thing. And there is nothing better!

Why You Must Take Risks

February 15, 20212 Comments

Too many targets of bullying grow too paralyzed with fear to make a move and take control of their destinies. Their bullies and abusers have reprogrammed them to believe that, no matter how hard they try, they’ll always be losers and failures. They’ ve been trained to believe that, to be accepted, they must always march in lockstep with the rest of society- to tread lightly and never rock the boat . And if they didn’t walk carefully, what was in store for them would be emotional- even physical brutality.

I understand because I’ve been there. I know the fear all too well.

In short, targets are taught to take the path of least resistance and stay in their comfort zones. But do you really live your best life when you choose this path instead of your own?

To see positive change in your life, you must be willing to take risks. Whether you’re working on achieving a short-term goal or chasing a dream you’ve had your whole life or whether you want to rid your life of bullies/abusers and surround yourself with better people, risk is not only expected but required.

To get something you never had, you will need to do things you’ve never done and that can be scary. To create something beautiful into your life means you will have to push through the birth pains first, it’s the only choice you have.

I took a risk when I decided to stand up to abuse. I also took risks when I wrote and published my first book, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying.”

I knew it would be risky and I was prepared for it.

In doing both, I not only faced the possibility of failure, but I offended and made many people angry. I lost a lot of people I thought were friends. But that’s alright because I look back now and realize that I really didn’t lose friends at all.

What I did was weed out the people I thought were friends- the fakers, posers, and imposters who only pretended to be but were never friends in the first place.

I also knew that the book would be painful to write because it required that I relive the torment. I chose to push through the pain. Understand that if you ever want to achieve something great, you must step out of your comfort zone and face fear head on.

Life is a gamble. Everything is chance. You can’t win the game if you don’t roll the dice.

And if you really stop and think about it, we roll the dice when we do the most basic things in life – when we get out of bed in the morning, or walk out of our houses, or get in the car to go to work every day. In life, risk is unavoidable. So why not take bigger risks and go after what you want?

Wouldn’t you much rather face the fear of risk now than live with the pain of regret later? I sure would.

After the book was published and a few classmates read it, oh boy! I got quite a few nasty, hateful, and threatening messages and yes, some of it was pretty scary. But I chose to stand strong and continue speaking my truth.

My goal wasn’t only to become a published author, but to use what I endured years ago to help others who are going through it now. I wanted to be the person that I didn’t have, and to give other targets the support I was denied.

But before I could do that, I had to be willing to take risks and to endure some pain along the way. It meant risking my time, my comfort, and my associations. I had to be willing to remove all the negative people from my life and make room for people who were positive, uplifting, and empowering. And you will have to do the same if you want to follow your passion, find your purpose, and create a better life for yourself.

You must be willing to risk it all because the last thing you want is to wake up one morning- eighty years old and say, I woulda, shoulda, coulda done this or I woulda, shoulda, coulda done that.

As for me, I don’t want to have to say, “Oh no! If I’d only done this or that,” or “I had this great idea five, ten, twenty, or thirty years ago and I didn’t act on it because I was too afraid.”

So, do it while you can and be willing to accept the risk that goes with it.

It is either do or die. Risk now or regret later!

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” – Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption

How Bullies Condition Targets to Accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses and Violations

February 10, 20218 Comments

Gradualism and Incrementalism- drop by drop, bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of the target’s self-esteem. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step- so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. Yet the target feels something is off, that something doesn’t feel too good but can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue: Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from these people and you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach. You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. Or you may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance. Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk and notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up and probing to see if you respond or how you react.

They’ll then start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t anymore. By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so severe and so out of control that the bullies and their minions can no longer help themselves and don’t even try to hide it anymore. Why continue to put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long that there’s no incentive to stop? Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying the target. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with doing so.

Close-up of woman in black T-shirt is cracking her knuckles gesturing willful and ready for doing something; or in another side; the bad behavior when in tension; concept of health care and medical.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to harming the target, it’s almost impossible for the target to get them to leave them alone no matter what the poor person does to protect himself.

When the target finally gets fed up and begins asserting themselves, bullies implicitly communicate through their actions that, “we don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain, you’re a target and we damn well intend for you to stay that way because we get a payoff from it and hell will freeze over before we give up those benefits.”

At this stage, bullies only respond with anger and resentment when the target finally stands up to them. The unwritten message is,

“How dare he!”

PTSD

Bullies are super offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine and they’ll do everything they can to break the target’s will to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

“How dare he even attempt to take away our fun?”

My point is that conditioning starts out small and you must know how to recognize it when it first begins and is barely recognizable. Because, the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself against it and put a stop to it.

I can’t stress this enough.

And the one thing that will help you to recognize it is that your body will feel it and you’ll sense it in the vibes the people you’re dealing with put out. Pay attention.

The more you know…

Envious? Of What?

February 7, 202110 Comments

When I look back today, I can see so much clearer. I never needed friends like those. However, when it’s happening, you don’t see it so clearly. Being in the middle of a storm can obscure your vision and cloud your judgment, causing you to feel things that are entirely out of your character. And one of those feelings is jealousy.

Being a target of relentless bullying is a lonely existence. The target not only becomes secretly desperate to have friends, but he also grows to hate anyone who does have them. I can testify to this because I’d watch the girls who were lucky enough to be surrounded by friends when I was a target. I’d watch them laugh and notice the bright smiles and their auras brimming with confidence- and I’d feel white-hot rage brewing- stirring inside me.

I could feel my eyes blaze and shoot daggers of fire at those happy girls. I never showed it, but I hated them with the fierceness of a hurricane! It was one of the reasons why I’d often instigate fights and sow discord between other classmates.

I realize now that it was terrible for me to feel that way. I was certainly wrong for feeling the way I did. However, when you’re a kid, you don’t understand why life is one way for some and not others.

And when life seems to be so bad that you want to look up and either cry out to or angrily lash out at God for allowing such an unfair injustice- for not only allowing you to starve but for seemingly forcing you to watch everyone else enjoy a five-course feast. At the same time, you go without, that’s when you know your attitude needs an overhaul!

When you’re a kid, you don’t understand why some have it better than others. You don’t know why some can and some can’t. And you wrack your brain, trying to figure out what the secret ingredients are.

But now that I know what the secret ingredients are, I realize that it never was anything I would’ve wanted in the first place. It wouldn’t have been worth it. They wouldn’t have been worth it.

To have to put on an act to be accepted by everyone?

To have to keep up appearances to be popular?

To be totally dependent on the approval of others?

To let other people’s opinions and the number of friends be the definition of who I am?

To have to be someone I’m not and micromanage every move I make and everything I say to keep from accidentally letting the real me slip out and risk displeasing people around me?

To have to cover one lie with a new one?

To be always afraid of people finding out who I really am?

To have my peace, happiness, and freedoms depend on the permission of others?

No thanks! They can have all the friends they want through all the fakery they want. That’s too much work, and I’m too lazy. If people don’t like the real me, they can hit the bricks. I don’t need them around.

I look back and realize that the vast majority of my classmates lived solely for their friends and the approval of others. They didn’t know what they wanted. Even worse, they didn’t know who they were! Sadly, as adults, they still don’t.

Even today, they’re slaves to the approval of others- tools- followers, sheep.

Me? I refuse to live that way. And I don’t live for them. I’m not out to win a popularity contest. I only want to be and do what makes me happy and live a drama-free life and in comfort. No more, no less.

Other than God, myself, and my family, I don’t live for anyone else, and I couldn’t care less about their approval.

I know who I am, and I live for much better things!

When I look back to all those years ago, I realize that there was nothing to be envious of. In fact, I was much better off than any of them. I was the luckier one. I didn’t have to jump through hoops and bend over backward for them. Although it was hard and I paid a heavy price for it, I lived for me, and I’m so glad I did.

If you’re a target of bullying and you ever find yourself jealous of your bullies and everyone else who has all these friends around them, I urge you to consider all the personal sacrifices they’re making to have those friends. What do they have to give up?

Is having to stuff down and bury your true nature a way you want to live? Having others dictate to you what you should be?

I hope not.

Bullying and Competition

February 6, 2021Leave a comment

Bullies hate competition, especially when it’s their target or any person they deem inferior who bring the competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

Understand that any successes or accomplishment achieved by the target is seen by bullies as a threat to their superiority because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is drawn from a sense of winning over and one-upmanship.

Therefore, if the target makes a huge accomplishment or wins any kind of award or prize, bullies will see it as competition with them. As a result, the bullies will escalate the bullying to punish the target for the success.

Bullies will get angry and say things like:

“You think you’re (smarter, better) than us…”

“You think you’re (smart, pretty, badass, hot stuff, god’s gift to the world, etc.)”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it means jealousy, anger, or resentment of the target for a success or desirable characteristic or quality the target has. No more, no less. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

It’s Too Easy to Become a Bully When You’re a Target of Bullying

February 2, 202110 Comments

bullied singled out surrounded

It’s too easy! Because after others bully you for so long, you search for ways to take the edge off the pain, you search for a band-aid, any band-aid, as long as it takes away some of the pain, even temporarily!

Many targets become bullies themselves because they’re just plain tired of feeling powerless. They desire to have control over something- or someone! We all want to be in control of something because to have power over nothing is the very definition of hell!

And nothing renders you as powerless as being bullied by everyone. Once you become completely helpless, you’ll start looking for instant gratification and do anything to achieve some sense of power.

You’ll search for someone even weaker and dumber than you to bully and degrade because, in their cruel treatment of you, your bullies have taught you that bullying another person is what it takes and is, perhaps, the only way to achieve that feel-good sense of control and to climb the social ladder. Finding a victim of your own gives you the sense that you’re not on the bottom of the pecking order anymore. No one wants to be on the bottom.

And you think, “Why not? It’s working for them (the bullies), so it should work for you too.”

The problem with this is that bullies are weak, cowardly, and pathetic, and if you bully someone else, it shows that you’re no better than they are!

PTSD

In fact, it proves that you’re worse because you know firsthand how it feels and should know better. You must realize that no one else would feel any different than you do if it were happening to them. In fact, they may not be as resilient as you are and end up taking their own lives. Their blood would be on your hands!

I’m ashamed and sorry to have to tell you, but I did the same thing during school. Because I felt utterly powerless, I began to bully people I thought were weaker than me. I own that, and I have remorse for it now.

Take it from someone who’s tried it. If you become a bully and attack others, you may get a rush of power, but it will last only a short time. It wears off quickly. Then, you’ll be back to square one and looking for the next rush, and you’ll only seek your victim out again and again because you’ll always feel you must have more! It’s no different than being a drug addict!

And if bullying doesn’t come naturally to you, it will only eat away at your conscience!

I implore you! Instead of bullying people who look like prey, align with them. Become their friend and their protector. I guarantee you! You’ll feel much better about yourself. More importantly, you’ll make a positive difference in their lives, and there’s no better feeling than that!

Knowing that you’ve helped someone and make life better for them is more rewarding than you realize! Knowing that you were possibly the difference that kept that person from ending their own life is a feeling so wonderful, words can’t describe it! I promise you!

Targets, You Can Take Away the Bullies’ Power by Re-Framing Your “Perceived” Weaknesses.

February 2, 202110 Comments

You may wonder what I mean by that. Allow me to give examples:

You’re a kind and easy-going person and bullies see those good qualities as a sign of weakness. You can use those traits to uplift and give support to other targets of bullies. In doing this, you will make great friends and allies and the more friends you have, the more chances are that bullies will think twice before bullying you. Remember that bullies always attack in groups because they’re weak and afraid when they’re alone. When you establish a group of your own, bullies will back down because you now have friends to back you up.

You’re painfully shy and quiet and bullies mistake those characteristics for fear. You can use your silence to be a good listener when someone needs to talk. This too will gain you close friends because the other person will feel that they’re being listened to and that you care. Moreover, they will feel that you’re interested in them and who doesn’t love that!
You have a small mole that bullies make fun of. Remember that Marilyn Monroe also had a mole just above her upper lip. But her mole was referred to as a beauty mark and it ended up being her trademark.

These are only a few examples. Find a way to re-frame what people see as weaknesses and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you take back your power.

With knowledge comes freedom!

You Should Never Let Bullies Tell You What to Do

February 1, 20217 Comments

A crazy young man in a white shirt standing and screaming at a woman in a pink dress. Women don’t care and looking at the camera with a toothy smile—indoor studio shot, isolated on light brown background.

Targets should never give in to their bullies’ demands nor requests, no matter what. And they should never let their bullies talk them into anything. I know, I’m one to speak because many times, years ago, I caved in.

However, knowing what I know now, I’d take a beating before I’d give in to them because I realize that I’d more than likely have to take a beating anyway. Bullies are known for constantly changing their rules and demands to fit their needs and narratives.

Understand that bullies may give you empty promises and false incentives. They may sweet talk you, or they may threaten you with even more exclusion, more smears of your name, and more bullying.

But here’s the thing. Here’s something that targets don’t think about:

You can’t lose something you never had. Your bullies already hate you, and they already want to hurt you. So, it’s not like you can lose any ground with them because you never had it in the first place.

So think about it. Dig deep and think.

Cancel Culture Is Just Another Form of Bullying

January 25, 202133 Comments

Lately, there’s been a ton of cancel culture going on not only in this country, but around the globe. Cancel culture seeks to do many things- to instill fear in people, silence them, and oppress them. It looks to cover up wrongdoing, abuses of power, and atrocities. CC and bullying are no different.

When it happens in school or the workplace, we call it bullying. When it happens on a political or government level, we call it cancel culture. Understand that cancel culture and bullying are one and the same.

Cancel culture enforces a double-standard and holds targeted people to standards that no one outside the targeted group lives up to.

What is wrong for the targeted group is right for the in-group. What’s celebrated for one person or group is loathed in another. What’s deemed illegal for one person or group is legal, even heroism in another.

Sound familiar? It should.

This is bullying on a grand scale. Because one group has the right to commit crimes, hurt, and kill people. But the other group doesn’t even have the right to defend themselves or their families and homes against the same criminals who are given carte blanche to harm them.

Many people have lost their jobs, livelihoods, homes, even families to cancel culture. Understand that cancel culture is bullying and it isn’t right to refuse someone else’s right to speak, think, work, flourish, and exist simply because they have different opinions, beliefs, and perspectives than you.

If this isn’t mass bullying, I don’t know what is!

The message cancel culture send is, “We can, you can’t,” “Do as I say, not as I do,” “Rules for thee and not for me,” and dissenting opinions need not apply.”

So, what shapes our opinions, beliefs, and perspectives?

Several things:

The family we’re born into
The environment we grew up in
Personal experiences
Education
Culture

Cancel culture isn’t just defamation and smear campaigns. No! It goes much further.

It includes doxing the target- digging up information about the target and their family and using it to cause harm to the target and his/her loved ones. Cancel culture seeks to take away the target’s good name and standing in society, their rights to earn a living and feed their family, and their physical safety. I don’t care what side of the aisle you’re on. Cancel culture is wrong! It’s evil and it has to stop!

I want you to understand that everyone has a divine, God-given right to their own opinions, to be neutral, or to stay silent. These are Human rights, and again, no matter what side of the aisle we’re on, we each have those rights!

Right before our very eyes, certain groups are being conditioned not to defend their most precious rights. They’re also being programmed not to believe what they see happening, nor to listen to their God-given gut instincts. And it’s scary!

Nowadays, it’s too easy to destroy someone’s life and take everything away from them- everything they’ve worked hard their whole lives for. The sad thing is that, if a bully wants to destroy you, they don’t need evidence to back them up. They don’t need proof to do it.

All it takes is an accusation, an allegation, or suggestion.

All it takes is a tweet, Facebook post, or any online post from ten-fifteen years ago.

All it takes is one harmless joke that’s deemed offensive, or a picture of you from the seventies or eighties in a Halloween Costume that is seen as politically incorrect today.

Bullies can dig up something from years ago, a high school photo, an old photo of you at a kegger or house party when you were a wet-behind-the-ears teenager and wipe you out! There’s no forgiveness or redemption on the internet!

Yes, people! This is the crazy world we’re living in now.

Cancel Culture doesn’t take into consideration that people grow up. It doesn’t care about the fact that people change as they get older or that we learn from our mistakes. Maturity doesn’t sway it. Cancel culture has no concern that we all do and say stupid things when we’re kids and that we’re all human beings capable of making errors.

Understand that if bullies cannot pin anything on you, they will either claim that you’re mentally imbalanced, or they will dig up something, anything from your past that puts you in a bad light.

I’ll say again. Cancel culture is bullying of the highest order. It’s also stalking and it’s dangerous. Cancel culture puts our very lives at risk and people have had to flee their own homes due to doxxing and having their lives and the lives of their family threatened. There are even a few that have gone into hiding. Some have even had to go underground.

It is my hope that people wake up and see the craziness and obsessiveness of cancel culture. Each and every one of us should take a stand against this madness.

Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying

February 13, 2020October 16, 2024Leave a comment

Welcome to The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying, on this blog, you will learn how to overcome bullying and take back control of your life.

The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying is a place you can come to for support and for learning about every aspect of bullies and bullying!

Being bullied is a hell that no human being should ever be subjected to. If you’re in the same predicament that I was in and people are constantly bullying you, you are doing all the research you can to learn how to protect yourself and defend against bullying. As a former target of bullying myself, I am giving you all the facts and successful tips, tricks, maneuvers, and mind hacks that I have used and now swear by.

After The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying teaches you about all of these facts and successful tips, maneuvers, and mind hacks, you will be wise to your bullies and their tactics. Most importantly, you will be ready when they come for you.

So, again, welcome to The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying, where you will learn all about the tips, maneuvers, and mind hacks that every victim of bullying should know about.

On The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying, You Will Learn:

1. The psychology of bullies.

In other words, you will learn about the bully mentality and mindset. Put simpler, you will learn how bullies think and what makes them tick.

Also, you will learn to pinpoint your bullies motives and intentions. Once you learn this, you will be able pick the brain of any bully. You will also be able to correctly guess their moods and dispositions so that you can be prepared and better protect yourself.

2. The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming bullying Blog Will Also Teach You The Different Types of Bullies and The specific tactics each type of bully uses.

As you learn the different types of bullies and their specific bully tactics, you will also learn the motivations and intentions behind each tactic. In other words, you will learn what each type of bully hopes to gain from each tactic they use and what outcomes they desire.

Additionally, you will learn how to spot each type of bully and better ways of countering their attacks or avoiding them altogether.

Once you learn these things, you will be better prepared to respond calmly and appropriately. This knowledge will also make you better able to avoid situations that could harm you or your reputation.

3. How to Properly Defend Yourself Against Bullies and Bullying of All Kinds.

You will learn that it is perfectly okay to defend yourself. Also, you,ll learn mind hacks you can use to buffer your self esteem against bullying attacks and passive-aggressive behavior.

4. The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying Will Also Teach You How to Boost Your Confidence and Attain Happiness and Personal Fulfillment.

Bullying can absolutely obliterate your confidence! This blog will teach you not only ways to maintain your confidence, but also how to regain it if bullying has destroyed it. Moreover, you will learn how not to care what people say or think of you.

You will also learn the importance of being yourself and why you should never change for anyone, especially bullies. Lastly, you will learn to stop people-pleasing and that you do not have to be nice if a situation doesn’t call for it.

5. How to spot fake friends and frenemies.

You will learn how to spot fakes and avoid them. Additionally, I will teach you how to use the knives in your back to cut ties. In others words, you’ll learn how to gather the courage to walk away from fake friends who betray you.

6. How to Set and Enforce Boundaries.

Moreover, you will learn the courage to say no to frenemies, users, and abusers and mean it. You will also learn what body language cues you can use to command and receive respect.

7. the Ultimate Guide to Overcoming bullying will teach you precisely what body language to look for in potential bullies.

You will learn what nonverbal signals bullies give when they are about to physically attack you. And once you do, you will better be prepared to stop them.

Also, you will learn whether people are laughing with you or at you and proper ways to respond in kind to people who throw zingers and subtle insults. Lastly, you will learn how to spot microaggressions and ways to mirror the people who use subtle intimidation tactics against you.

In a nutshell, this blog will tackle bullying from every angle, covering every aspect of bullying and subjects related to it.

8. All About Social Aggression and the Motives Behind it.

You will learn all about rumors, lies, gossip, and smear campaigns and how to protect yourself from them. You will also learn the motives and intentions behind them so that you can call it out and speak out bravely.

9. The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Bullying Will Teach You How to Document Bullying and Gather Your own Evidence.

You will learn how to document the bullying you suffer, using the 5W method and how to organize your documents in a way that is clear, concise, and easily readable.

Also, you will learn about the use of digital recorders and hidden body cams to record the bullying so that you can easily prove your case to a principal, school board, HR manager, or a judge in a court of law. Most importantly, this blog will show you how to find out whether the laws in your state or area allow you to record bullying.

Now, at some point or another, many victims/targets of bullying have asked questions such as:

“How do I stop people from bullying me?”

“What is it about me that makes people see me as an easy target?”

“How do I make friends and allies and what exact steps do I need to take to do so?”

“What does it take to boost my charm?”

“What exactly do I need to do to get that allure that naturally draws friends and dates?”

If you find yourself asking these questions and other questions related to bullying, you will find the answers on this blog!

Hello, everyone! My name is Cherie White and I am a mom, writer, and anti-bullying advocate. Like you, I suffered many years of intense bullying in school and as a young adult. Because the bullying impacted me so deeply, I set out to know everything possible about bullying.

I searched for the answers to why people bully, what drove bullies to single out only certain individuals, and what bullies look for in potential victims. Also, I wanted to know how bullying affected different people and the specific characteristics that determined victimhood. Most importantly, I researched and practiced different ways to stop people from victimizing me and how to overcome bullying.

In short, instead of allowing it to traumatize me, I wanted to learn from it

Therefore, I began researching bullying in 1995 after discovering a magazine article about a boy who had been bullied in school and eventually overcome it. During the nineties, I poured through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims. I also poured through books and articles on the subject.

Additionally, I researched bullying related to school and office politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic. For the last 20 years, I have learned so much. Coupling personal experience with years of trial and error, I eventually overcome bullying and took back control of my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have found the information and learned how to win the battle against bullying. However, it took me many years of not only research, but also trial and error before I was finally able to take back my personal power and declare victory over bullying. Although trial and error is progress, it is a slow and time-consuming process.

I Learned through Years of research and Trial and Error. But, Lucky You! You Don’t Have to!

With that said, one of the objectives of this blog is to save you years of trial and error. Another objective is to alleviate any confusion bullying may cause you. The material in this blog is material I wish was available when I needed it. In other words, I’d like to be the person for you that I needed when I was a target of bullying but didn’t have access to.

Today, too many young people are dying due to being the target of bullying. Children and teens are dying before their lives have even begun and it is a tragic waste of young life. Adults are dying before they have a chance to see improvement and it’s heartbreaking!

This is why I’m passionate about re-empowering targets who endure bullying today. I know how it feels to be bullied by everyone for everything. It causes a pain so deep you can’t even cry!

What Can Happen When Bullies Target You?

When you endure bullying, many terrible things can happen. Friends you thought highly of and never thought would hurt you suddenly turn against you. Strangers will hear bad things about you and judge you before having the chance to meet you. Even worse, you will risk being physically assaulted.

Nevertheless, this blog will tackle all these scenarios and advise you of what you must do. I have respect for all other anti-bullying websites out there because they have the best intentions and truly desire to help victims. Of that, I have no doubt. However, as someone who has endured bullying in the past, I don’t feel that they get deep enough into the subject. In my humble opinion, they only gloss over the problem and there’s a lot to bullying they either leave out or haven’t though of.

This blog covers everything about bullying or related to it.

Why? Because bullying is so complex. It’s also a broad term and it’s hard to stop if you don’t know every tiny detail about it. That’s where we come in. This blog fills in all the holes and gaps.

So, here’s my message to victims and targets of bullying:

If people are mercilessly bullying you in school, work, or in the community, I want you to know that I’ve been right where you are. Also, I want you to be assured that the torment will not last forever. Even though you may not see an end to it now, there will come a day when you will be free of your tormentors. Therefore, you will be free to be your true authentic self without fear of ridicule. Know that all is not lost! You can go on to live a very happy, peaceful and prosperous life. I did it and you can do it too!